Planet Key receding from reality at light speed

Written By: - Date published: 7:03 am, October 3rd, 2012 - 37 comments
Categories: crime, slippery - Tags: , ,

Law enforcement on Planet Key must be a strange business: “Mr Key says he called in the police on the teapot tapes because he wanted to find out if there had been an offence. He argues Dotcom is different, because his Government has already admitted what it did was unlawful.” So, what do the Planet Key Police do they do when they catch a crim? Tag him and let him go?

Fortunately, Key’s bizarro world hasn’t infected the Police. They’ve decided to investigate and appointed a QC to review their findings. What else could they do? Blatantly participate in a cover-up? Of course, the investigation is likely to be another whitewash.

But it’s better than nothing. At least there’s a chance the crims will be brought to justice – no matter how much Key squeals.

Still needs to be a proper Auditor-General inquiry, of course. The  cops can only look at crimes. There’s a lot of questions about what happened that don’t relate to crimes. Not least of all whether Key was exercising his statutory obligation to “control” the functions of the GCSB, given he claims not to have known they were involved in the Dotcom case for 8 months.


Breaking on 3 News – we all expected this didn’t we:

Key told of Dotcom spying in February – report

A Government Communications Security Bureau review has revealed Prime Minister John Key was briefed about the Dotcom case during a meeting in February.

Mr Key admits Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom may have been mentioned briefly in the GCSB presentation, but says he was not told about the alleged illegal surveillance until last month. However, the report states in the meeting on February 29:

“A paper prepared as talking points for the staff member conducting a presentation contained a short reference to the Dotcom arrest a few weeks earlier, as an example of cooperation between the GCSB and the Police.”

No written record was kept from the meeting but the staff member is adamant it was mentioned to Mr Key. Mr Key says he doesn’t remember it being brought up. “While neither the GCSB Director nor I can recall the reference to the Dotcom matter being made during my visit to the bureau back in February, I accept that it may well have been made,” he says.

37 comments on “Planet Key receding from reality at light speed”

  1. irascible 1

    KeY demonstrates yet again that he has never been in touch with reality. Planet Key is, for him, the existential paradise for the confused and incompetent.

    • marsman 1.1

      ‘ Planet Key is, for him, the existential paradise for the confused and incompetent.’ …and for the super greedy with no concern for others and for lots and lots of roads which ‘bring economic development’.

  2. ianmac 2

    Wouldn’t it be great to be a fly on the wall in Planet Key? Below the surface I bet the little feet are paddling frantically. Pity there was a bug placed to monitor.

  3. He wanted advise on the Law.
    He was involved with the writing of the operational laws of the GCSB even signed off on them.

    And then promptly orders the GCSB too break said law that HE just wrote.

    One Law for them and another Law for John Key, Cause he’s above the Law isn’t he?

    Where’s that bloody Job Description when we bloody need it M8’s

    • David H 3.1

      But key has forgotten the first rule of lying, well about first 10 really but a few basic ones would be

      Have a good memory. (ooppss)
      Don’t start too many lies at once.

  4. Jim Nald 4

    While Kristy McDonald QC works on another report for the Dotcom series, John Key on Fantasy Island floating on Planet Key can catch up with having a good read of the police report on Banks.

  5. KJT 5

    He probably had a tenuous grasp on realty to start with.

    I’ve worked with many Keys. They have not read anything but business how to and/or get rich quick books.

    As the man said. Paraphrased.

    There are three types of men. Those who learn by reading, the rare few who learn by observation and the many who have to stick their dick on the electric fence for themselves.

  6. What gets me is that for most Kiwi’s there is still an element of surprise when confronted with the total and utter lack of accountability of John Key. This is the result of a years of cultivation and grooming by and for the Banking class to which John Key belongs. It’s not so much Planet Key we should be talking about but the Bankster planet as opposed to the rest of us on Planet Earth.

    • BLiP 6.1


      Yep, true dat. Its very easy to slip into the meme that John Key is an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing but just consider for a moment how much public wealth he has managed to transfer into private hands. The most obvious rort, and most grevous, is the billion-dollar carbon subsidies handed over to farmers and which have already started to trickle up into the new class of foreign shareholder at Fonterra. While the MSM gets to dance around showing off with isolated cases of apparent public service incompetence, the celebrations of which further undermine the whole public service and community approach to government, the John Key led National Ltd™ crew quietly fills containers with New Zealand taxpayer cash and resource consent certificates for shipping off to overseas squillionaires. On Planet Banksters, John Key is a minor but effective functionary. Thanks for the reminder, Eve.

  7. Treetop 7

    Key has such a big ego as he thinks he is both judge and jury.

    It is not for the PM to influence the outcome of an investigation or to trivialise a complaint.

    Key needs to pull his head in.

  8. gobsmacked 8

    BREAKING NEWS – Key was wrong about the GCSB Dotcom briefings (mistake vs lie, you choose). He was told in February. (TV 3, just now)


    • gobsmacked 8.1

      Key was given a powerpoint presentation! So naturally he “forgot” …

    • Treetop 8.2

      So now Key has misled parliament and the public. Good on TV 3 and no doubt there can now be some pressure put on Key in parliament and some action taken using a parliamentary committee.

      Key is another Muldoon in being economical about the truth.

    • felix 8.3

      Jesus fucking christ, does he sleep through these security briefings? Or turn up pissed?

      What the fuck does he think his job is?

      • gobsmacked 8.3.1

        29 February – Prime Minister gets briefing AFTER Kim Dotcom’s mansion has been raided, he’s been arrested and dominated the news for weeks.

        Again … AFTER. “Who’s that guy? never heard of him, can’t be important … carry on!”

        Unbelievable … literally.

        • Treetop

          I assume the staff member is from the GCSB. So now it is the staff members word against Key and the GCSB Director. Due to the track record of Key and the GCSB Director over Dotcom I believe the staff member.

          I thought that Key disclosed the GCSB spying on Dotcom in case there was a leak from within the police, (the way I read TV 3’s disclosure) the leak has come from within the GCSB.

      • mac1 8.3.2

        He’s obviously not being ‘dinnamic”.

      • David H 8.3.3

        Now there’s a question i have asked here and other places at least once. Has John Key overdone the grape before work or at lunch as he does look a little impaired, and sometimes in the house he sounds a little pisseder than the rest of his mob. Needs the 13 steps me thinks

    • brybry 8.4

      What a lying sack of shit he is. No wonder he doesn’t mind his ministers doing the same.

  9. aerobubble 9

    The cameraman was advised to turn up, there’s going to be a press frenzy with
    Key and Banks, he was supposedly advised that suddenly all conversations were
    private despite the many lip readers being available to the press. So, what’s this
    legal point that Key is saying was exposing, that government will entrap the press??

    The constituent Mp is the first port of call, the Nat Mp if you are rich, so Dotcom
    would have gone to, and been very interested to find out, that his local Mp was the pm.

  10. Adrian 10

    The obvious answer to this whole debacle is that the GCSB has deduced one thing… that Key is an unintelligent fuckwit and it is a lot better for all concerned that he is not told anything or very little as his ability to show off in interviews and such like is our biggest threat to national security.

    • felix 10.1

      Except that they did tell him.

      Remember, Key has answered questions on notice – answers for which he would have had to find out exactly when he was briefed and what he was briefed on – in the house, giving precise dates.

      He can only have been lying. There is no other possibility.

  11. muzza 11

    So Key has been caught lying again!

    What happens next….

  12. JonL 12

    “So Key has been caught lying again!

    What happens next….”


    Business as usual.

  13. Having already referred to Nazi propaganda on the Greenie Bashing Session thread.
    I find myself doing the same here:

    “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

    This is cited as being a quote from Joseph Goebbels, yet perhaps its origin was from the thought process of A.Hitler

    The source of inspiration of this Government’s current approach toward the NZ population is seriously disturbing.

    [lprent: Perhaps I should hand out a Godwin award? I was thinking that the award winner shall have their comment’s fonts (all comments) reduced to 6px for the week after being awarded the prize. Or have all of the characters mirrored? ]

    • lprent
      oh dear…I had to look up what Godwin award meant before I could understand your warning, (prior to doing so I assumed that it was an award for stating the blatantly obvious!). Doubt if I do it again, (I’ve said my two cents worth), however it is tempting…the mirrored effect sounds pretty interesting….

      I guess all I am trying to point out is that all this fabrication of the truth it is a well-worn technique.
      I was impelled to point this out because I note it is a powerful mechanism, having noticed (within myself), it sometimes even has an effect when one is aware of the tactic being employed.

      [lprent: I’m afraid I didn’t read your comment (I don’t really read whilst moderating, I scan). I just noted the meme reuse and made a Godwin rule warning. I’ve only recently removed a pile of words like that from auto-moderation so I keep an eye out for them. ]

  14. Poission 14

    Oh dear and you want this party to make economic policy.

    Black bagging a casinos share price who would of bet on that

  15. McFlock 15

    Well, at least GCSB staffers recognise the importance to democracy of having elected representatives informed about the activities of the security services.   
    What might be easiest for future references is an OIA request along the lines of “what documents has the Prime Minister read in the past six months, and what presentations and briefings was he physically and mentally present at?”
    They could probably write the answer on the back of a postage stamp, just so he avoids responsibility if it turns pear shaped. 

    • Just post them on WhaleOil M8!, no one remebers reading that blog anyway 🙂

      Must be all the internalised washing of hands etc.

      Forever trying to wash out that stained spot, damn spot!.

  16. John Key is playing word games

    1. a meeting at which detailed information or instructions are given, as for military operations, etc
    2. the facts presented during such a meeting

    6. The process of offering for consideration or display.

    And as far a ShonKey is concerned a “Presentation” is not a “Briefing”.

    He must have given the orders at the briefing, and simply ignored the “Presentation”.

    That Myth Buster line keeps coming back to haunt us ….
    “I reject your reality and substitute my own

  17. …It really is getting ShonKeyer and ShonKeyer by the day

  18. Jokerman 18

    At last dying in the last dyke of prevarication. 🙂

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Swiss tax agreement tightens net
    Opportunities to dodge tax are shrinking with the completion of a new tax agreement with Switzerland, Revenue Minister Stuart Nash announced today. Mr Nash and the Swiss Ambassador David Vogelsanger have today signed documents to update the double tax agreement (DTA). The previous DTA was signed in 1980. “Double tax ...
    2 weeks ago