In an effort to revive sagging support levels Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison is on a bus tour of Australia. Except he is not. The tour involves him flying from town to town, the bus picking him up, being driven somewhere, then getting off the bus and flying somewhere else as the bus is driven to the same place.
This caused this outstanding example of double speak at a recent Prime Ministerial stand up. Read it and marvel at how rubbery the English language is.
JOURNALIST: Prime Minister, you’re on the bus tour. Why are you flying?
PRIME MINISTER: Well the bus is going all the way up to Rockie and that’s where it was always planning to go. I mean, it’s a big state and I need to cover as much of it in four days as I can. So we were never planning to take the bus to Townsville, we’d always planned to take that last leg up to Townsville by plane because that was the most effective way to get there and to spend the most time there with people on the ground. I mean, these visits aren’t about sitting on a bus. They’re about actually engaging with small businesses and our supporters and the people of Queensland and listening to them.
JOURNALIST: Then why have the bus?
PRIME MINISTER: Because it gets me from A to B.
JOURNALIST: Will you be taking the bus to Rockhampton from here?
PRIME MINISTER: Yes. The bus will be going to Rockhampton from here. That’s right.
JOURNALIST: With you on it?
PRIME MINISTER: I’ve got to get there earlier than the bus tonight.
JOURNALIST: So you will be flying to Rockhampton?
PRIME MINISTER: I’ll get into Rockhampton tonight and I’ve got a programme tonight in Rockhampton and the bus can’t get me there quick enough so I’ve got to fly.
JOURNALIST: So you’ll be flying to Rockhampton and the bus will catch up with you and then you’ll fly onto Townsville?
PRIME MINISTER: I’ll be flying onto Townsville. And your point is what?
JOURNALIST: I’m just interested in the point of the bus if you’re not on it.
PRIME MINISTER: I am on it, I just got off it.
JOURNALIST: But not onto Rockhampton or Townsville?
PRIME MINISTER: Yeah well it’s a practical thing. I want to spend as much time on the ground with Queenslanders, and when I can be on the bus and go from place to place on the bus, that’s great. But I’m not going to sacrifice time with Queenslanders, listening to them and hearing them and talking to them about what’s important to them just to satisfy the media’s interest in the timetable for the bus.
He has also been drinking lots of beer.
Every photo of scomo having a beer looks like he's frantically reminding himself to not stick his little finger out. pic.twitter.com/u00Gq8mVf8
— Nic Healey 🎙️🥃 (@dr_nic) November 6, 2018
And more beer.
— Fiona Willan (@Fi_Willan) November 6, 2018
And wearing fair dinkum Australian made hats.
— word association football (@wends1958) November 6, 2018
Although people are getting tired of the news from the tour.
I’m not sure I can take another six months of this Faux 1970s Suburban Ocker shtick, can you? pic.twitter.com/Oydg5wxKou
— Mr Denmore (@MrDenmore) November 5, 2018
And on the interwebs people are having fun with the bus.
— Marko (@AusLoafer) November 4, 2018
And this one.
& they just keep coming. this one's from @StreetHassle989 pic.twitter.com/j07an5unV8
— 💧Joan of Bot (@JoanBloggs) November 5, 2018
Someone even made this great gif.
LIBERAL MUPPETS ON THE ROAD #scomuppet
(just in case you missed it yesterday, more detailed version)@ScottMorrisonMP #muppets #liberal #scomo #bustour #queensland #ScoMoExpress #LiberalLogic #auspol #ScomoExpress #BlueBus #Bus #scomopromo #BlusterBus #StopTheVotes pic.twitter.com/OlHpHyZHC3
— 💧Dunken K Bliths💧 (@DunkenKBliths) November 6, 2018
And they may want to rethink the colour used.
SloMo’s Queensland bus is a bold shade of NSW blue. So much for the so-called marketing expert… pic.twitter.com/AP0keHI110
— Mike Carlton (@MikeCarlton01) November 5, 2018
Hopefully this will not work. If it does prepare for Australian politics to become even more inane than it is now.