Simon Bridges wants a new Digital Media advisor

Written By: - Date published: 7:43 am, August 6th, 2019 - 21 comments
Categories: humour, Judith Collins, national, same old national, Satire, Simon Bridges, uncategorized - Tags:

A slight rewrite of an ad currently on Parliament’s careers website.

The National Party Leader’s Office has an exciting opportunity for an experienced social and digital media expert and crisis manager to lead their high performing team.

You will manage a team of eight creative and talented but depressed staff members, be part of the senior Management team and work closely with the Leader and the Opposition and assist with the fending off of attacks from a number of National Party MPs.

You will be responsible for providing strategic advice to the National Party Leader and the other 54 MPs in National’s Caucus on how to develop, communicate, and build public support for the National Opposition’s vision and policy and to hold the Government to account by distorting the hell out of Government announcements and policies.

In the role, you will be responsible for developing and delivering fake news a strong social media strategy, driving reach and engagement across key platforms mostly Facebook targeting elderly people and tasking your team to produce social media and digital content that is relevant and engaging if not factually accurate.

You will have a strong work ethic and ideally have experience working in political and/or media organisations where backstabbing and undermining is the norm. You will have credibility and high personal and professional standards which you will be prepared to sacrifice in the course of your employment here.

This is a busy, full-time role, at least until Simon gets rolled by Judith, so skills in prioritising competing demands are essential. Some flexibility in hours will be required, including weekends and the role will involve some domestic travel mainly to Invercargill as the party works out what to do with the local MP.

Don’t even think about applying Cameron.

Applications close Monday, 19 August 2019.

The Parliamentary Service appoints on merit and is committed to EEO and good employer principles.

If you have any questions regarding this role please email DeadEndJobs@parliament.govt.nz

21 comments on “Simon Bridges wants a new Digital Media advisor”

  1. Formerly Ross 1

    This is a busy, full-time role, at least until Simon gets rolled by Judith

    Thus it would be useful if you have a second job lined up at short notice as you may be fired without notice while being labelled an emotional junior staffer.

  2. Robert Guyton 2

    So, on this thread on the subject of Simon Bridges, James has posted 3 comments on the Labour Party. Does this seem like thread-jacking to anyone else? We could/should perhaps ignore him, but he did the same thing, same topic, same MO, on last night's "Daily Review". He's clearly determined to over-ride the intentions of this threads author, MICKEY SAVAGE, and dominate the conversation with the topic he has chosen himself, one that serves his anti-Labour position. He's trolling us. He's a troll who batters his way into a conversation by repeating his talking point and berating anyone who doesn't attend to his claims with the respect he believes he is owed.

    [lprent: Just booted his comments to OpenMike. If I see him thread-jacking authors posts in the near future, then I’ll dissuade him. We tolerate it in Open Mike/ Daily Review ]

    • woodart 2.1

      or perhaps james is like his leader, barks at every passing car, hopeing for attention.

    • Chris T 2.2

      Here was me thinking the "Daily Review" threads were open to any topics.

      [lprent: This isn’t Daily Review. ]

      • Robert Guyton 2.2.1

        Quite right, Chris T but there's no requirement at all to do as directed by another commenter. If some of us chose to dismiss your excitement as unduly frothy, we are free to do so. In fact, much fun was had at your expense, but I reckon you invited those responses. 

        • Chris T 2.2.1.1

          I didn't really take much notice of the responses.

          They all seemed to be personal attacks at me being bald, for some weird reason, which I am not, and something about my breath, which is normal.

          But it was quite humorous to watch you all diverting from the actual topic.

          • Robert Guyton 2.2.1.1.1

            We're all happy then!

            No one really thinks you are bald, Chris; well, not now the you've denied it. I accept the sweet breath claim too, coz you'd know.

          • Incognito 2.2.1.1.2

            IIRC, Chris T, you started the “actual topic” @ 2 with this one and only (!) memorable sentence:

            This might not go so great for Labour

            By doing so, you politicised it from the outset.

            You linked to a sensationalised and as yet still unsubstantiated headline. It looked and still looks like a ‘gotcha moment’.

            To me, you came across as a stirrer, which was not helped when the other notorious stirrer (James) joined you, and I responded to your stirring. Unfortunately, this upset others here whom I do respect and whom I would never deliberately try to upset 🙁

            Suffice to say, I am quite pissed off with you and James but I have also learned a lesson.

  3. Robert Guyton 3

    Open mike 06/08/2019

    Anne says something smells here and suspects a political beat-up. James is thrilling to his role as low-level, perhaps unwitting, flame-fanner.

  4. Kevin 4

    James has a few raw nerves being poked today.

  5. gsays 5

    Here is some free advice that should improve his standing following: part time PM, emotional junior staffer, Paula Benefit and his handling of JLR saga….

    In response to any question follow Sgt Schultz's advice.

  6. Ed1 6

    The advertisement on the Parliamentary Careers website is quite straightforward,. While realistically the people most likely to apply have some connection or at least empathy with the National Party and its priorities, parliamentary services are politically neutral. Looking after a team of eight people may well be a good job for a young social media specialist. The work must presumably relate to assisting members of parliament with their jobs as parliamentarians, not electioneering on behalf of the National Party; the merits of particular politicians in opposition is to an extent irrelevant. I believe we need to be careful not to presume that all parliamentary service staff are rabid supporters of the policies of either government or opposition, and unless there is evidence that a ps staffer has "crossed the line" into doing party political work, they are entitled to be treated with the same respect as staffers working for government MPs. From a career perspective, it may be easier to be seen to excel at this job than in a similar role for government.

    I am intrigued that there are 9 people engaged in social and digital media for the opposition. How does this compare with the similar unit when National were in government? We have heard that government communications staff have blossomed as well; it would be interesting to know which group has grown fastest – and how other groups (such as the Government and Opposition Research units) have changed size. It would also be of interest to know how many people are employed by different political parties to do this sort of work, with a tighter aim of attracting votes. Does a press release by an opposition spokesperson get subtly "enhanced" for selected audiences. "Dirty Tricks" was based on a sliding descent into blogs mired in deeper and deeper sewage – but where is the replacement? 

    Opposition leadership may be a joke, but they are still a moneyed up danger to most New Zealanders – but lets be careful not to piss off innocent public servants providing a service.

  7. SHG 7

    Being a junior staffer in the office of the Leader of the Opposition seems to involve wearing a target on one's back, so yeah… nah.

  8. Stuart Munro. 8

    "creative and talented but depressed"

    Given the attrition rate of emotional juniors, I imagine surviving co-workers are grizzled and taciturn, with thousand yard stares worthy of the Eastern Front.

  9. Philj 9

    And Engleesh or ESL would be noice.

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