web analytics

Simon Bridges wants a new Digital Media advisor

Written By: - Date published: 7:43 am, August 6th, 2019 - 21 comments
Categories: humour, Judith Collins, national, same old national, Satire, Simon Bridges, uncategorized - Tags:

A slight rewrite of an ad currently on Parliament’s careers website.

The National Party Leader’s Office has an exciting opportunity for an experienced social and digital media expert and crisis manager to lead their high performing team.

You will manage a team of eight creative and talented but depressed staff members, be part of the senior Management team and work closely with the Leader and the Opposition and assist with the fending off of attacks from a number of National Party MPs.

You will be responsible for providing strategic advice to the National Party Leader and the other 54 MPs in National’s Caucus on how to develop, communicate, and build public support for the National Opposition’s vision and policy and to hold the Government to account by distorting the hell out of Government announcements and policies.

In the role, you will be responsible for developing and delivering fake news a strong social media strategy, driving reach and engagement across key platforms mostly Facebook targeting elderly people and tasking your team to produce social media and digital content that is relevant and engaging if not factually accurate.

You will have a strong work ethic and ideally have experience working in political and/or media organisations where backstabbing and undermining is the norm. You will have credibility and high personal and professional standards which you will be prepared to sacrifice in the course of your employment here.

This is a busy, full-time role, at least until Simon gets rolled by Judith, so skills in prioritising competing demands are essential. Some flexibility in hours will be required, including weekends and the role will involve some domestic travel mainly to Invercargill as the party works out what to do with the local MP.

Don’t even think about applying Cameron.

Applications close Monday, 19 August 2019.

The Parliamentary Service appoints on merit and is committed to EEO and good employer principles.

If you have any questions regarding this role please email DeadEndJobs@parliament.govt.nz

21 comments on “Simon Bridges wants a new Digital Media advisor”

  1. Formerly Ross 1

    This is a busy, full-time role, at least until Simon gets rolled by Judith

    Thus it would be useful if you have a second job lined up at short notice as you may be fired without notice while being labelled an emotional junior staffer.

  2. Robert Guyton 2

    So, on this thread on the subject of Simon Bridges, James has posted 3 comments on the Labour Party. Does this seem like thread-jacking to anyone else? We could/should perhaps ignore him, but he did the same thing, same topic, same MO, on last night's "Daily Review". He's clearly determined to over-ride the intentions of this threads author, MICKEY SAVAGE, and dominate the conversation with the topic he has chosen himself, one that serves his anti-Labour position. He's trolling us. He's a troll who batters his way into a conversation by repeating his talking point and berating anyone who doesn't attend to his claims with the respect he believes he is owed.

    [lprent: Just booted his comments to OpenMike. If I see him thread-jacking authors posts in the near future, then I’ll dissuade him. We tolerate it in Open Mike/ Daily Review ]

    • woodart 2.1

      or perhaps james is like his leader, barks at every passing car, hopeing for attention.

    • Chris T 2.2

      Here was me thinking the "Daily Review" threads were open to any topics.

      [lprent: This isn’t Daily Review. ]

      • Robert Guyton 2.2.1

        Quite right, Chris T but there's no requirement at all to do as directed by another commenter. If some of us chose to dismiss your excitement as unduly frothy, we are free to do so. In fact, much fun was had at your expense, but I reckon you invited those responses. 

        • Chris T 2.2.1.1

          I didn't really take much notice of the responses.

          They all seemed to be personal attacks at me being bald, for some weird reason, which I am not, and something about my breath, which is normal.

          But it was quite humorous to watch you all diverting from the actual topic.

          • Robert Guyton 2.2.1.1.1

            We're all happy then!

            No one really thinks you are bald, Chris; well, not now the you've denied it. I accept the sweet breath claim too, coz you'd know.

          • Incognito 2.2.1.1.2

            IIRC, Chris T, you started the “actual topic” @ 2 with this one and only (!) memorable sentence:

            This might not go so great for Labour

            By doing so, you politicised it from the outset.

            You linked to a sensationalised and as yet still unsubstantiated headline. It looked and still looks like a ‘gotcha moment’.

            To me, you came across as a stirrer, which was not helped when the other notorious stirrer (James) joined you, and I responded to your stirring. Unfortunately, this upset others here whom I do respect and whom I would never deliberately try to upset 🙁

            Suffice to say, I am quite pissed off with you and James but I have also learned a lesson.

  3. Robert Guyton 3

    Open mike 06/08/2019

    Anne says something smells here and suspects a political beat-up. James is thrilling to his role as low-level, perhaps unwitting, flame-fanner.

  4. Kevin 4

    James has a few raw nerves being poked today.

  5. gsays 5

    Here is some free advice that should improve his standing following: part time PM, emotional junior staffer, Paula Benefit and his handling of JLR saga….

    In response to any question follow Sgt Schultz's advice.

  6. Ed1 6

    The advertisement on the Parliamentary Careers website is quite straightforward,. While realistically the people most likely to apply have some connection or at least empathy with the National Party and its priorities, parliamentary services are politically neutral. Looking after a team of eight people may well be a good job for a young social media specialist. The work must presumably relate to assisting members of parliament with their jobs as parliamentarians, not electioneering on behalf of the National Party; the merits of particular politicians in opposition is to an extent irrelevant. I believe we need to be careful not to presume that all parliamentary service staff are rabid supporters of the policies of either government or opposition, and unless there is evidence that a ps staffer has "crossed the line" into doing party political work, they are entitled to be treated with the same respect as staffers working for government MPs. From a career perspective, it may be easier to be seen to excel at this job than in a similar role for government.

    I am intrigued that there are 9 people engaged in social and digital media for the opposition. How does this compare with the similar unit when National were in government? We have heard that government communications staff have blossomed as well; it would be interesting to know which group has grown fastest – and how other groups (such as the Government and Opposition Research units) have changed size. It would also be of interest to know how many people are employed by different political parties to do this sort of work, with a tighter aim of attracting votes. Does a press release by an opposition spokesperson get subtly "enhanced" for selected audiences. "Dirty Tricks" was based on a sliding descent into blogs mired in deeper and deeper sewage – but where is the replacement? 

    Opposition leadership may be a joke, but they are still a moneyed up danger to most New Zealanders – but lets be careful not to piss off innocent public servants providing a service.

  7. SHG 7

    Being a junior staffer in the office of the Leader of the Opposition seems to involve wearing a target on one's back, so yeah… nah.

  8. Stuart Munro. 8

    "creative and talented but depressed"

    Given the attrition rate of emotional juniors, I imagine surviving co-workers are grizzled and taciturn, with thousand yard stares worthy of the Eastern Front.

  9. Philj 9

    And Engleesh or ESL would be noice.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

No feed items found.

  • Ko te reo kua mū: Piri Sciascia
    Minister for Māori Development Nanaia Mahuta joins te ao Māori in their sorrow as they learn of the loss of one of the great orators and spokespersons of a generation – Piri Sciascia.  “The son of Pōrangahau was a staunch advocate for Māori development and served his people for over ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Minister opens new ecosanctuary at Cape Farewell
    A new ecosanctuary with a predator proof fence on Golden Bay’s Cape Farewell, which will restore a safe home for sea birds, rare native plants, giant snails, and geckos, was officially opened today by the Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage. “There has been a fantastic community effort supported by the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    19 hours ago
  • Pacific partners work together to provide additional support to Australia
    The NZDF continues to support the Australian Defence Force (ADF) as it battles fires in Victoria and New South Wales, including by transporting Republic of Fiji Military engineers from Nadi to Australia, announced Defence Minister Ron Mark. On Saturday morning a NZDF Boeing 757 will depart New Zealand to uplift ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Kaikōura $10.88 million boost in tourism & business
    The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing $10.88 million to boost business and tourism opportunities in Kaikōura, Parliamentary Undersecretary for Regional Economic Development, Fletcher Tabuteau announced today. As part of the Kaikōura Marina Development Programme, the following two projects will receive PGF funding: A $9.88 million investment to begin the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Govt accounts in surplus, debt remains low
    The Government’s books are in good shape with the accounts in surplus and expenses close to forecast, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. The Treasury today released the Crown accounts for the five months to November. The operating balance before gains and losses (OBEGAL) was above forecast by $0.7 billion resulting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Auckland focus for first Police graduation of 2020
    The number of Police on the Auckland frontline is increasing with the graduation today of a special locally-trained wing of new constables. Police Minister Stuart Nash says the graduation of eighteen officers from Recruit Wing 333-5 means that more than 1900 new Police have been deployed since the Coalition Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Wairarapa gets $7.11m PGF water boost
    The Provincial Growth Fund is putting $7.11 million into creating a sustainable water supply for Wairarapa, Parliamentary Under-Secretary for Regional Economic Development Fletcher Tabuteau announced today. The following two projects will receive Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) funding: A $7 million investment in Wairarapa Water Limited for the pre-construction development of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Progress with new Police station in Mahia
    Community safety and crime prevention in the East Coast community of Mahia has moved forward with the opening of a new Police station to serve the growing coastal settlement. Police Minister Stuart Nash has officially opened the new station, which was relocated almost 20 kilometres along the coast from the nearby ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Plans to protect the future of whitebaiting announced
    With several native whitebait species in decline the Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage has today released proposals to standardise and improve management of whitebait across New Zealand. “The need for action for a healthy whitebait fishery has never been greater,” Eugenie Sage said.  “Four of the six whitebait species are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New resource for schools to increase awareness and understanding of climate change
    A new Ministry of Education resource available for schools in 2020 will increase awareness and understanding of climate change, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The resource, Climate Change – prepare today, live well tomorrow, will help students understand the effects of climate change at a local, national and global ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Getting more out of our most productive firms
    Finance Minister Grant Robertson has approved the terms of reference for an Inquiry into the economic contribution of New Zealand's frontier firms. Frontier firms are the most productive firms in the domestic economy within their own industry. “These firms are important as they diffuse new technologies and business practices into ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZDF sends more support to Australia
    The New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) is sending an Environmental Health Team, a Primary Health Care Team and a Chaplain to Australia, boosting New Zealand support for the Australian Defence Force (ADF) as it battles bush fires in Victoria and New South Wales, Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today. The ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand joins partners in calling for full investigation into air crash in Iran
    Acting Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs Rt Hon Winston Peters says that developments suggesting a surface-to-air missile is responsible for the downing of the Ukrainian International Airlines flight in Iran is disastrous news. “New Zealand offers its deepest sympathies to the families of the 176 victims. It is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Staying connected to Australian agriculture
    Agriculture Minister, Damien O’Connor, says the Ministry for Primary Industries is continuing to stay connected to federal authorities in Australia as devastating fires affect the country.  “The Ministry is using an existing trans-Tasman forum for discussions on the agricultural impact of the fires and the future recovery phase,” says Damien ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Investment in schools – a commitment to communities
    Thousands of school-age children, their teachers and wider communities are benefiting from the Government’s multi-million dollar investment upgrading and renewing schools, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “We want New Zealand to be the best place to be a child and that means learning in warm, comfortable and modern classrooms,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Defence Force sends support to Australia
    Minister of Defence Ron Mark today announced New Zealand is sending three Royal New Zealand Air Force NH90 helicopters and crew, and two NZ Army Combat Engineer Sections as well as a command element to support the Australian Defence Force efforts in tackling the Australian fires.  The New Zealand Defence Force ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Better access to books for blind and low vision citizens on World Braille Day
    "Today is World Braille Day and I am delighted to announce that an international treaty giving blind and low vision New Zealanders access to books and literary works comes into force today,” Minister for Disability Issues Carmel Sepuloni announced today. “Today the Marrakesh Treaty and the associated amendments to the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand to send further firefighter support to Australia
    The New Zealand Government is sending a further 22 firefighters to help fight the Australian fires. “The devastation caused by these fires is taking a substantial toll on our Australian neighbours and we will continue to do what we can to assist as they deal with this extremely dynamic, dangerous ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Reducing the cost of education
    Twenty-two more schools have opted into the Government’s policy of providing $150 per child to schools who don’t ask parents for donations– bringing the total number of schools in the policy to 1,585. The Ministry of Education has accepted late opt ins past the November 14 deadline from schools that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Road deaths lower in 2019, but still more work to do
    “As we enter the new decade, my thoughts are with the families, friends and communities of the 353 people who lost their lives in road crashes last year. While the number of deaths is lower than in 2018 (377), this is still a staggering loss of life,” Duty Minister Iain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • PM congratulates New Year 2020 Honours recipients
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated the diverse group of New Zealanders recognised for their contributions to the country and their communities in the New Year 2020 Honours List.   The list of 180 honours recipients includes three Dames and three Knights Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Justice Minister congratulates first Māori Supreme Court judge on New Year’s Honour
    Justice Minister Andrew Little has congratulated The Honourable Justice Joe Williams for receiving a knighthood for services to the state. Sir Joe Williams has been appointed as a Knight Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the New Year 2020 Honours List. “Sir Joe Williams has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Year honours for top sportspeople
    Twenty-one of New Zealand’s top sportspeople, coaches and leaders in the sporting community have been recognised in the New Year 2020 Honours List. The Silver Ferns coach Noeline Taurua has been made a Dame Companion and the former All Blacks Steve Hansen has been made a Knight Companion of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Leading architect of Zero Carbon Bill honoured
    It’s great to see ordinary New Zealanders doing extraordinary things, Minister for Climate Change James Shaw today said in response to the news that Lisa McLaren is included in the New Year 2020 Honours List for her exceptional work leading the campaign for the Zero Carbon Bill. Lisa McLaren was ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Social entrepreneurs and innovation leads Pacific contribution
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio says the New Year 2020 Honours List highlights the valuable contribution Pacific social entrepreneurs and innovators make to New Zealand, the Pacific region and the world. “The standout common factor that underlines their contribution to Aotearoa is the value they place in their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Service to birds and bush recognised in New Year Honours
    Decades of dedication to Aotearoa’s unique birds, landscapes, and native eels is recognised in the New Year 2020 Honours List said Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage. “I’m delighted that the decades of dedication to conservation, and fantastic leadership in giving nature a helping hand is being acknowledged,” said Eugenie Sage. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Closer Economic Partnership with Singapore comes into force on 1 January
    New Zealanders will start to see the benefits of the upgraded Closer Economic Partnership (CEP) with Singapore from 1 January 2020, when the agreement comes into force. Minister for Trade and Export Growth David Parker said the agreement would open more opportunities for New Zealand companies looking to do business with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago