‘Try the dead rat, it’s delicious’
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1:18 pm, March 20th, 2008 - 18 comments
Categories: humour, john key -
Tags: humour, john key
Hat tip: Chris S in the comments.
18 comments on “‘Try the dead rat, it’s delicious’ ”
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko NgÄti WhÄtua ĆrÄkei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...4 hours ago
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- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Aucklandâs bus fleet by 2026.âThe Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...8 hours ago
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The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.âCabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...1 day ago
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Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. âThe Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...1 day ago
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People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...1 day ago
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Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...1 day ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âWe are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...1 day ago
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Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...1 day ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Childrenâs Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naĂŻve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. âIâm saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...1 day ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...1 day ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. âThis Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...1 day ago
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Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Governmentâs new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. âChildhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...1 day ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa â it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
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The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Governmentâs expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. âNew Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...2 days ago
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Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. âNew Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...2 days ago
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The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. âGang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...2 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.âCommunities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...3 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayersâ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âWhen I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...3 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. âWe need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...3 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âIt is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. âHowever, the reality ...3 days ago
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). âReaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Governmentâs ...3 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 â July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...3 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. âThe latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...3 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. âOur diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealandâs interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,â Mr Peters says. âIt is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...3 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Governmentâs plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. âNew Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,â says Mr Seymour. ...3 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulationâs Red Tape Tipline is now live. âWe want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,â says Mr Seymour. The ...3 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. âYouth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,â says Mr Doocey. âThe two-day ...4 days ago
- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âIn August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...4 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. âOnline financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...4 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. âI want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...4 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
Defence Minister Judith Collins will this week attend the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Defence Ministersâ Meeting-Plus in Vientiane, Laos. âWe need to take every opportunity to engage with our international partners, given the increasingly unstable geo-political situation,â Ms Collins says. âNew Zealand has a long-standing commitment to this ...4 days ago
- Former political figure who abused teens loses name suppression
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal governmentâs proposed social media ban for under-16s has sparked widespread debate, affecting millions of young Australians, their families and educators. But will it actually work? While the aim behind this ban ...53 minutes ago - Ant stings can be painful. Hereâs how to avoid getting stung this summer (and what to do if you do...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Robinson, Senior Research Fellow, Institute for Molecular Bioscience, The University of Queensland AG-PHOTOS/Shutterstock With the start of summer just days away, many of us will be looking forward to long sunny days spent at the beach, by the pool, out ...54 minutes ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Crosby, Professor, Monash University Chichimaru/Shutterstock Australia has a seriously big ânest eggâ. The Future Fund â our sovereign wealth fund set up in 2006 â now manages about $230 billion. Specifically, its remit is to âinvest for the benefit ...54 minutes ago
- Women are less likely to receive CPR than men. Training on manikins with breasts could help
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Stokes-Parish, Assistant Professor in Medicine, Bond University Pixel-Shot/Shutterstock If someoneâs heart suddenly stops beating, they may only have minutes to live. Doing CPR (cardiopulmonary resusciation) can increase their chances of survival. CPR makes sure blood keeps pumping, providing oxygen to ...2 hours ago
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The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Booksâ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Orbital by Samantha Harvey (Jonathan Cape, $26) The slight, superb winner of the Booker Prize ...4 hours ago
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Democracy Now! NERMEEN SHAIKH: In The Hague, the International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defence Minister Yoav Gallant for crimes against humanity and war crimes committed during Israelâs assault on Gaza. In a statement, the ICC said the Israeli leaders had, ...4 hours ago
- New Child Protection Investigation Unit announced by Children’s Minister
The unit will be up and running by early next year, Children's Minister Karen Chhour says. ...5 hours ago
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In-person submissions on the Treaty Principles Bill will all be held at Parliament or by video call. ...5 hours ago
- ‘Got my support’ – Christopher Luxon stands by Erica Stanford after ‘stupid ...
The prime minister says it wasn't appropriate behaviour but that Erica Stanford had apologised. ...5 hours ago
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The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...5 hours ago
- Government slammed for pushing on with boot camps amid trial
Labour has accused National of ignoring the evidence. ...5 hours ago
- The unspoken rule of conversation that explains why AI chatbots feel so human
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Celeste Rodriguez Louro, Chair of Linguistics and Director of Language Lab, The University of Western Australia Rroselavy / Shutterstock Earlier this year, a Hong Kong finance worker was tricked into paying US$25 million to scammers who had used deepfake technology to ...5 hours ago
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- Gang patch ban: The first 24 hours
The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...6 hours ago
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âWe are waiting for our government to announce it will arrest Netanyahu and Gallant immediately if they set foot in Aotearoa New Zealandâ says PSNA National Chair John Minto. ...6 hours ago - Justice Committee Makes Further Decisions About Submissions Process For The Principles Of The Treaty...
The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...7 hours ago
- Watch live: Christopher Luxon faces questions during power station visit
It comes as Labour accuses National of not listening to evidence about boot camps. ...7 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Winter, Associate Professor in Political Theory, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Getty Images When Prime Minister Christopher Luxon stood in Parliament last week to apologise to survivors of abuse in care, his words were among many fine speeches by ...7 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephanie Gomes-Ng, Senior Lecturer of Psychology, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Former New Zealand prime minister John Key has three white rabbits painted on his helicopter, a nod to his âmassively superstitiousâ habit of repeating âwhite rabbitsâ three times at ...11 hours ago
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The coalition has "absolutely no intention of listening to the evidence that comes out of their experiment", Labour MP says. ...12 hours ago
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Labour claims Government is âcherry-pickingâ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in heated tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago - Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate
Labour claims Government is âcherry-pickingâ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
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The Government’s economic adviser is sending a message it doesn’t want to hear – superannuation is increasingly unaffordable The post Treasury bangs the drum on ‘unsustainable’ superannuation appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
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A man abused by a former political figure is "immensely relieved" at a government proposal to end secrecy around sex offenders' identities. ...12 hours ago
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There is plenty yet to play out, but the next election is at this rate shaping up as trio versus trio, writes Toby Manhire. A subplot of this weekâs historic hÄ«koi mĆ te Tiriti has been the sight of the three opposition parties presenting a unified front. Te PÄti MÄori ...13 hours ago
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From the low lows of abandon empires to the high highs of a mall done just right. This is the second in the Malls of New Zealand series, where we rank the malls in major centres. Next week: Wellington. A note from the editor: This is the hardest ranking weâve ...13 hours ago
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As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a 27-year-old apartment-dwelling marketing exec explains her approach to spending and saving. Want to be part of The Cost of Being? Fill out the questionnaire here. Gender: Female. Age: 27. Ethnicity: PÄkehÄ. Role: Marketing exec at ...13 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 22 November
Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 22 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...13 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Friday 22 November
The post Daily crossword, Friday 22 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...13 hours ago
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“This is the size of the tax cuts Cullen is going to give your mum and dad”
“And see here – see how this little man bends? See? And see if I bend it over? Well I’m like that – ummm… that’s what I do in the hands of the Brethren I bend. Ummm and the Employers and Manufacturers Association bends me too you know! What are they? Oh, errm, don’t, ummm never mind, you’re only going to be a housewife.”
“This is the size of the tax cuts Cullen is going to give your mum and dad’
before he cancels them again…
Er, I was talking about Australian playdough.
Possible future PM with some guy in a suit.
rob I bow down to you
See and then we cut a little hair to put on its head, say some magic words and poke pins in it – it’s called currency speculation…
http://www.johnkey.co.nz/index.php?/archives/339-SPECIAL-Statement-on-Tibet.html
“Now repeat after me: ‘it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again‘”
Hat-tip to “Short Shriveled and Slightly to the Left”, who suggested this one on Kiwiblog:
Girl “I like that toy’
JK “me too’
Girl “I dont like that toy now’
JK “me too’
Girl “I like you, you’re funny’
JK “me too’
“oooh gross, you’re all slippery”
Get your hand off it then Matthew
Young Smithers, weren’t you criticising the authors of The Standard as pathetic for making personal attacks?
P.s. you shouldn’t call your mother “it”, that’s just rude đ
Cap: ambitions butchered – best cap ever
MP
My mother died recently.
I suggest you go and fuck yourself
What of, shame?
Hey ‘sod – agreed that smithers is a bit of dickhead in his comments, and acts a lot like a troll. He has the usual offtopic links, and comments that just seem to be ill-informed, immature, and only interested in inflaming (and not close to topic).
But you do have to give him some room to grow up in. He will get the message soon enough – do it enough around here and everyone will demonstrate their displeasure (including the right leaners). Afterall he only seems to have been commenting here for a few days.
Besides while I’m sure he is capable of understanding your ‘subtle’ (choke) comment, it is quite apparent that he is incapable of an entertaining rispote.
Lynn
smithers:
There’s this thing, and it’s called being rational. You ought to try it sometime. It’s really empowering.
My entry for the caption:
“Key explains to the incumbent Labour finance spokesperson exactly how recessions work”.
watch closely as I turn your large fortune into a small one!