web analytics

Posts Tagged ‘humour’

Unparliamentary Language

Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, July 11th, 2018 - 13 comments

“His brain could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides”

A little humour

Written By: - Date published: 11:23 am, December 4th, 2016 - 13 comments

little-rug

Jon Stewart on the Republican plan

Written By: - Date published: 6:43 pm, July 24th, 2016 - 12 comments

“The Republicans appear to have a very clear plan for America…” Stewart on fire and funny.

Key Announces National’s Job’s Policy.

Written By: - Date published: 6:29 pm, April 30th, 2014 - 1 comment

‘Allo, Allo, Allo, Allo –  Based on the 1980’s Comedy Series, “Allo, allo”  – Starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith. Episode Three. (See previous episodes)  “Cameron Slater gets starring role in tvnz drama” “Key schemes with media at whaleoil cafe“ By Susan Nact  It is just before opening time at the […]

Where the fuck is Webb Ellis

Written By: - Date published: 12:36 pm, September 21st, 2011 - 3 comments

http://youtu.be/WazeyJtY7UQ Very, very funny. Where the fuck is Webb Ellis? hat tip: Trevor Mallard at Red Alert

An afternoon excursion.

Written By: - Date published: 4:18 pm, August 21st, 2011 - 31 comments

About now or very shortly, Trevor Mallard and Cameron Slater should be dismounting from the cycling race that has obsessively awaited by the right on the blogosphere. I’ve been aware of that this ‘political’ event was going to happen because of the frequent waffling that shows up on posts from the right. But it was nice day – I went along to exercise the car and to see the start.

Update: Trevor won..

Tucker’s law

Written By: - Date published: 11:57 am, March 27th, 2011 - 14 comments

Tucker’s law (not at all suitable for those offended by strong language).

The pragmatist

Written By: - Date published: 12:09 am, May 26th, 2008 - 38 comments

The day there was no news

Written By: - Date published: 10:25 pm, May 19th, 2008 - 5 comments

Daily Show on the Pollies

Written By: - Date published: 12:01 pm, May 7th, 2008 - 3 comments

The Daily Show’s John Oliver goes behind the scenes at the Pollies, the US awards ceremony for political ad consultants. Hilarious. Watch the nominees tell Oliver how to destroy hope, make voters fear black people and hang your fragile ego on a yard sign. I’m sure our mate John Ansell would feel right at home. […]

Who do you want answering the phone?

Written By: - Date published: 3:41 pm, April 30th, 2008 - 71 comments

Just received this parody of Hillary Clinton’s 3am ad, but with a New Zealand twist. Very funny.

National on personal attacks

Written By: - Date published: 2:24 pm, April 29th, 2008 - 13 comments

Greenwoman just flicked us this:

Bad Comics

Written By: - Date published: 7:33 pm, April 23rd, 2008 - 12 comments

So, one internet comic writer challenged another internet comic writer to draw 200 bad comics and this was the result. Awesome on so many levels. I especially like number 10. I wonder if that will be New Zealand come November.

Flat-Earthers heart climate change deniers

Written By: - Date published: 3:19 pm, April 23rd, 2008 - 4 comments

The Climate Science Coalition is the last of a dying breed; a rabid, climate change denying lobby group. Of late, they have been performing a desperate, last-ditch attempt to slow the introduction of a carbon trading scheme. And, now, it looks like they’ve received some heavy-weight support in the form of the venerable Flat Earth Society:

Blogger sweatshop

Written By: - Date published: 2:16 pm, April 21st, 2008 - 11 comments

(Via BoingBoing.net)

John Key – The Gambler

Written By: - Date published: 12:30 pm, April 14th, 2008 - 19 comments

A reader’s just sent us the lyrics to the song sung at Labour Party social and again at the conference as reported in The Herald today. We understand they were penned by Grant Robertson, Labour candidate for Wellington Central. To the tune of “The Gambler“: John Key – The Gambler On a warm summer’s evening […]

Too stupid for words

Written By: - Date published: 10:23 am, April 10th, 2008 - Comments Off on Too stupid for words

I’m not usually big on the Bush-bashing, but this is classic: Say what you like about Reagan, at least the dude could read from an autocue. Hat tip: onegoodmove

Sir Ed and Helen Clark – admired Kiwis

Written By: - Date published: 6:39 pm, April 6th, 2008 - 15 comments

From the Sunday Star Times: A new poll suggests that National Leader John Key may be up against a bigger obstacle than he thought in knocking Prime Minister Helen Clark off she is the person New Zealanders most admire after Sir Edmund Hillary. The much-loved mountaineer topped the Roy Morgan Poll with 17.4 per cent support, followed by […]

John Key’s DVD: Take 2

Written By: - Date published: 10:27 am, April 4th, 2008 - 20 comments

Our sources tell us National is set to follow-up to last year’s DVD ‘John Key: Vacuous for New Zealand’ with its sequel ‘John Key: I won’t bite, promise’. ‘Vacuous’ was withdrawn after The Standard and Kiwiblogblog revealed that Key had illegally used Coldplay’s ‘Clocks‘ as the theme tune. National and Coldplay’s record label are reported […]

Didn’t take long

Written By: - Date published: 10:25 am, April 4th, 2008 - 7 comments

A reader just sent us this – REM meets John Key. (Hat-tip: PJ)

Lockwood: unsurprisingly relaxed about global warming

Written By: - Date published: 4:59 pm, April 3rd, 2008 - 28 comments

“Frankly, it’s a market”

Written By: - Date published: 3:33 pm, April 3rd, 2008 - 9 comments

That’s what Key said when asked about his plan to increase GP fees. A reader reckons Key’s planning to apply the same market logic to crime: Great cartoon. No wonder National’s Law and order Spokesperson, Simon Power, is distancing himself from Key’s policy.

When good ads go bad

Written By: - Date published: 3:15 pm, March 28th, 2008 - 6 comments

From Stuff: Details of a massive home loan scam targeting buyers in South Auckland have emerged involving former Westpac mortgate manager Amar Singh. (Hat-tip: Simon)

Clarke and Dawe on the sub-prime crisis

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 am, March 22nd, 2008 - 6 comments

Steve posted a stick-figure explanation of the sub-prime mortgage crisis earlier in the week. Here are ABC commedians Clarke and Dawe giving their take:

‘Try the dead rat, it’s delicious’

Written By: - Date published: 1:18 pm, March 20th, 2008 - 18 comments

Hat tip: Chris S in the comments.

John Ansell’s reverse Midas touch

Written By: - Date published: 2:07 pm, March 17th, 2008 - 22 comments

Oh dear. It started with Roger Douglas and now political ad-man John Ansell has got on board the ACT train to electoral oblivion as well. Ansell’s most famous work to date is the National Party’s racist iwi/kiwi billboards of the 2005 election but our sources tell us his stocks dropped considerably with the party after […]

Sabotaged truck under labour

Written By: - Date published: 5:49 pm, March 14th, 2008 - 26 comments

Earlier this week a reader drew our attention to Michael Hansen, a candidate in the recent local elections who drew 423 votes in Christchurch’s Spreydon/Heathcote community board on the Sabotaged truck under labour ticket. Intrigued, I did a bit of digging, and it just gets better. It turns out Hansen also stood for city council, […]

Dream of sliding to work?

Written By: - Date published: 5:17 pm, March 14th, 2008 - 4 comments

Google have just opened a new European engineering headquarters in Switzerland, according to a report from the BBC: “Dotcom companies were defined by beanbags and pizza but Google, a company that came to prominence after the bubble had burst, has taken that image to a whole new level. Meeting ‘pods’ in the style of Swiss […]

Yes, Pecan!

Written By: - Date published: 12:08 pm, March 13th, 2008 - 2 comments

Ben and Jerry’s icecream endorsed Obama when Edwards pulled out. To celebrate Obama’s win in Vermont, Slate recently ran a competition to name an icecream in his honour. The winner? “Yes, Pecan!”.

Some free publicity for the NBR

Written By: - Date published: 11:02 am, March 11th, 2008 - 54 comments

Speaking of humour, that joke of a newspaper the NBR has had a crack at us again. According to them The Standard is “a blog which tests Labour lines in advance”. So much for the NBR’s self-lauded connections: we don’t test Labour’s lines, we write them with Mike and Helen in a secret bunker under […]

Herald Editorial – ‘Why assets sales were worthwhile’

Written By: - Date published: 9:50 am, March 11th, 2008 - 32 comments

Tomorrow – ‘Slavery: it wasn’t so bad when you think about it’

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • New record number of homes consented
    In the year ended June 2021, the actual number of new dwellings consented was 44,299, up 18 percent from the June 2020 year. In June 2021, the seasonally adjusted number of new dwellings consented rose 3.8 percent. In June 2021, 4,310 new dwellings were consented, an increase of 3.8 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Communities backed to tackle wilding pines
    Twelve community projects across New Zealand will receive a share of $2 million to carry out wilding pine control, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor announced as part of Biosecurity Week. “Wilding pines are a serious problem that threaten many of the unique landscapes that New Zealanders value. Community groups and trusts ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Health Minister Andrew Little responding to the New Zealand Nurses Organisation's rejection of ...
    I was advised last night that the result of the ballot of Tōpūtanga Tapuhi Kaitiaki o Aotearoa New Zealand Nurses Organisation members have rejected the latest proposal to settle their collective agreement. Let me be clear: the proposal was one they put to the Government. The Nurses Organisation rejected their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation introduced to Parliament
    Legislation has been introduced to Parliament to protect against practices intended to change or suppress someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Introducing the Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Bill, Minister of Justice, Kris Faafoi, said the measures proposed were aimed at ending conversion practices which don’t work, are widely ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • New school site for booming West Auckland
    The Government will build on a new school site in West Auckland to cope with rapid population growth in the area, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says. The Ministry is working with existing local schools to determine how the 1.5-hectare site at 279 Hobsonville Point Road will be used to support ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Trans-Tasman travel window to close at midnight tomorrow
    A further 500 MIQ rooms released for managed returnees from NSW Further Government actions announced today are balanced to provide more certainty for Kiwis wanting to return from Australia, while continuing to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, acting Minister for COVID-19 Response Ayesha Verrall says. The actions were foreshadowed last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Govt investing millions in Hawke's Bay and Tairāwhiti schools
    Napier Boys’ and Girls’ High Schools are among those set to benefit from a $16.5 million investment in the Hawke's Bay and Tairāwhiti region, Economic and Regional Development Minister Stuart Nash announced today. The Government has set aside money in Budget 2021 to accelerate five projects in Napier, Hastings, Havelock North ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Game changing Jobs for Nature investment for Northland
    Conservation Minister Kiri Allan has announced Jobs for Nature funding for a portfolio of projects that will create ‘game changing’ gains for nature and communities across Northland/Te Tai Tokerau as part of the Government’s acceleration of the economic recovery from COVID. “This portfolio of 12 projects will see over $20 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Third COVID-19 vaccine receives provisional approval
    New Zealand’s regulatory authority Medsafe has granted provisional approval of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine for individuals 18 years of age and older, Acting Minister for COVID-19 Response Dr Ayesha Verrall announced today. New Zealand secured 7.6 million doses (enough for 3.8 million people) of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine through an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Bowel-cancer screening programme is saving lives
    More than 1000 New Zealanders have had bowel cancer – New Zealand’s second-most-common cause of death from cancer - detected under the Government’s National Bowel Screening Programme, Health Minister Andrew Little said today. More than 1200 New Zealanders died from bowel cancer in 2017. The screening programme aims to save ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Govt welcomes draft report on the retail grocery sector
    The Commerce Commission’s draft report into the retail grocery sector is being welcomed by Government as a major milestone. “I asked the Commerce Commission to look at whether this sector is as competitive as it could be and today it has released its draft report for consultation,” Commerce and Consumer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Christchurch’s Youth Hub ‘set to go’ thanks to further Government funding
    Construction of New Zealand’s first, purpose-built centre for youth well-being is ready to get underway thanks to an extra $2.5 million of COVID-19 response funding, Housing Minister and Associate Minister of Finance, Megan Woods announced today.  “The Christchurch Youth Hub is about bringing together all the things young people need ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Next step to protect Milford Sound Piopiotahi
    Expert group lays out plan to better protect iconic UNESCO World Heritage site Milford Sound Piopiotahi and its surrounds Funding confirmed for dedicated unit and Establishment Board to assess the recommendations and provide oversight of the process from here Milford Opportunities Project a test case for transformational change in tourism ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Funding for projects to reduce waste from construction and demolition
    The Government has announced funding for projects in Auckland and the lower North Island to help reduce construction and demolition waste. “Construction is the main source of waste sent to landfill, and much of this could be reduced, reused and recovered,” Environment Minister David Parker said. “The Government is funding ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech at the launch of the National Hepatitis C Action Plan
    Tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you Anglesea Pharmacy and Te Manawa Taki for hosting this event. As a doctor, I saw first hand the impact of hepatitis C. I met Moana in 2019; she came to the infectious diseases outpatient clinic at Wellington Hospital having tested positive for hepatitis C. Like ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Plan to eliminate hepatitis C as a major health threat by 2030
    A plan to eliminate hepatitis C in New Zealand, reducing liver cancer and the need for liver transplants, has been released today by Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall. “Around 45,000 New Zealanders have hepatitis C, but only around half know they have it,” said Ayesha Verrall. “Symptoms often ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • School upgrades and new classrooms for West Coast, Tasman and Canterbury
    A funding injection from Budget 2021 to complete four shovel ready projects and new classrooms at six schools and kura will provide a real boost to local communities, Minister Dr Megan Woods announced today. “This Government has committed to providing quality fit for purpose learning environments and 100,000 new student ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Warmer Kiwi Homes smashes annual target
    The Government's highly successful insulation and heating programme, Warmer Kiwi Homes, is celebrating a key milestone with the completion of more than 38,000 insulation and efficient heater installs in the year to the end of June, smashing its target of 25,000 installs for the year. “The Warmer Kiwi Homes scheme ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Exemption granted for Wallabies to enter NZ
    Bledisloe Cup rugby will be played in New Zealand after the Australian rugby team received an economic exemption to enter New Zealand. Travel between Australia and New Zealand was suspended on Friday for at least eight weeks following the worsening of the COVID outbreak across the Tasman. New Zealanders have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs makes three diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced three New Zealand Head of Mission appointments. They are: Mike Walsh as Ambassador to Iran Michael Upton as Ambassador to Ethiopia and the African Union Kevin Burnett as Ambassador to Indonesia Iran “Aotearoa New Zealand has a long-standing and constructive relationship with Iran, despite a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Enhanced Task Force Green Approved for West Coast and Marlborough
    The Government has activated Enhanced Task Force Green (ETFG) in response to the West Coast and Marlborough floods, Social Development and Employment Minister Carmel Sepuloni announced today. “To assist with the clean-up, up to $500,000 will be made available to support the recovery in Buller and Marlborough which has experienced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Govt support for upgrade of Eden Park players facilities
    Minister for Sport and Recreation Hon Grant Robertson has announced funding to upgrade the players facilities at Eden Park ahead of upcoming Women’s World Cup events. Eden Park is a confirmed venue for the Rugby World Cup 2021, the ICC Women’s Cricket World Cup 2022, and a proposed venue for matches of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • More jobs and quicker public transport motoring towards West Auckland
    Work to improve public transport for West Aucklanders and support the region’s economic recovery by creating hundreds of jobs has officially kicked off, Transport Minister Michael Wood announced today. Michael Wood and Auckland Mayor Phil Goff this morning marked the start of construction on the Northwestern Bus Improvements project. It ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government backs critical health research
    Research into some of New Zealanders’ biggest health concerns including cancer, diabetes, and heart disease is getting crucial support in the latest round of health research funding, Health Minister Andrew Little announced today. The funding, awarded through the Health Research Council of New Zealand, covers 31 General Project grants ($36.64 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Bay of Islands hospital facilities to bring services closer to home
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Health Minister Andrew Little have joined a ceremony to bless the site and workers for Phase Two of the redevelopment of the Bay of Islands Hospital in Kawakawa today. The new building will house outpatients and primary care facilities, as well as expanded renal care ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Raukokore re-imagined with ‘smart’ relocatable rent to own housing
    Iwi, Crown Partnership Relocatable, fully insulated housing, connected to a new solar plant Provides a pathway to home ownership New housing in the remote eastern Bay of Plenty community of Raukokore shows how iwi and Crown agencies can work together effectively to provide warm, dry, energy efficient homes in a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Cabinet accepts Turkish authorities’ request for the managed return of three NZ citizens
    Cabinet has agreed to the managed return of a New Zealand citizen and her two young children from Turkey, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. The three have been in immigration detention in Turkey since crossing the border from Syria earlier this year. Turkey has requested that New Zealand repatriate ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Govt delivers more classrooms so children can focus on learning
    Extra Government investment in classrooms and school building projects will enable students and teachers to focus on education rather than overcrowding as school rolls grow across the country, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Associate Education Minister Kelvin Davis say. The pair visited Ruakākā School in Whangārei today to announce $100 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New station a platform for AirportLink to take off
    Every Aucklander with access to the rail network will now have a quick and convenient trip to the airport, Transport Minister Michael Wood and Auckland Mayor Phil Goff said during the official opening of the new Puhinui Interchange today. The new interchange links the rail platform with a new bus ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • 10 days sick leave for employees delivered
    Legislation doubling employees’ minimum sick leave entitlement to 10 days comes into effect today, bringing benefits to both businesses and employees, Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Michael Wood announced today. “Our Government is delivering on a key manifesto commitment to help Kiwis and workplaces stay healthy,” Michael Wood said. “COVID-19 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates Fiame Naomi Mata’afa on Election Win
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern tonight congratulated Prime Minister-elect Fiame Naomi Mata’afa on her victory in the Samoa’s general election. “New Zealand has a special relationship with Samoa, anchored in the Treaty of Friendship. We look forward to working with Samoa’s new government in the spirit of partnership that characterises this ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Quarantine Free Travel with Australia suspended
    Quarantine Free Travel from all Australian states and territories to New Zealand is being suspended as the Covid situation there worsens, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins announced today. From 11.59pm today Australians will no longer be able to enter New Zealand quarantine-free. This will be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Growing conservation efforts in Gisborne
    A big injection of Jobs for Nature funding will create much-needed jobs and financial security for families in TeTairāwhiti, and has exciting prospects for conservation in the region, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The projects target local communities most affected by the economic consequences of COVID 19 and are designed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Flood recovery given further assistance
    The Government is contributing a further $1 million to help the flood battered Buller community, Acting Emergency Management Minister Kris Faafoi announced today. “Buller is a small community which has found itself suddenly facing significant and ongoing welfare costs. While many emergency welfare costs are reimbursed by Government, this money ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Funding for five projects to reduce food waste
    The Government is funding five projects to help address the growing problem of food waste, Environment Minister David Parker announced today. “New Zealand households throw away nearly 300,000 tonnes of food every year, half of which could still be eaten. By supporting these initiatives, we’re taking steps to reduce this ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Temporary Accommodation Service activated for West Coast flooding event
    The Temporary Accommodation Service (TAS) has been activated today - meaning residents on the West Coast of the South Island and in the Marlborough region hit by flooding over the weekend can now access help finding temporary accommodation, announced Associate Minister of Housing (Public Housing) Poto Williams in Westport today. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pause to Quarantine Free Travel from South Australia to New Zealand
    Quarantine Free Travel from South Australia to New Zealand will be paused from 11.59am (NZT) tonight, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins has announced. However, people currently in the state who ordinarily live in New Zealand will be able to return on “managed return” flights starting with the next available flight, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand condemns malicious cyber activity by Chinese state-sponsored actors
    New Zealand has established links between Chinese state-sponsored actors known as Advanced Persistent Threat 40 (APT40) and malicious cyber activity in New Zealand. “The GCSB has worked through a robust technical attribution process in relation to this activity. New Zealand is today joining other countries in strongly condemning this malicious ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Remarks to Diplomatic Corps
    It is a pleasure to be with you all this evening. Some of you may have been surprised when you received an invitation from the Minister of Disarmament and Arms Control, and I would forgive you if you were. New Zealand is unique in having established a Ministerial portfolio ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Early Pfizer shipment boosts vaccine schedule
    The largest shipment of the Pfizer vaccine to date has arrived into New Zealand two days ahead of schedule, and doses are already being delivered to vaccination centres around the country, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins says. “The shipment of more than 370,000 doses reached New Zealand yesterday, following a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago