All hail honourable leader’s birthday
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10:25 am, August 10th, 2010 - 30 comments
Categories: john key, Media, Satire -
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Rapturous crowds of workers from People’s Information Services spontaneously gathered in Beehive theatrette yesterday to praise Beloved Leader of People’s Constitutional Monarchy of New Zealand, Honourable John Key, on anniversary of his birth.
“Comrades! I thank you!” said Honourable Key to the sighs of the crowd. Some were overwhelmed merely to be in his presence. One young cadre presented Beloved Leader with a birthday card.
Honourable Key had special message for the worker cadres. He told them not to fear unemployment or poverty and denied revisionist lies about falling wages. Under Beloved Leader’s wise and esteemed leadership many cycleways will be built across nation and with this great wealth of cycleways many jobs will be created, and some back-office banking too maybe.
One worker asked Honourable Key if it was true the counter-revolutionaries were wracked by splitists and division and would soon be defeated. Beloved Leader agreed it was true.
Worker cadres cheered the wonderful news. They promised to repeat Beloved Leader’s message to one and all. They agreed not to mention revisionist lies and to praise Honourable Key to all who would listen. Faithful cadres informed revolutionary masses that nation’s women spontaneously broke into song at news of Beloved Leader’s birthday.
All agree that under the wise and dedicated tutelage of Honourable Key, our glorious nation will bury running dog Australians by 2025.
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- Oranga Tamariki cuts commit tamariki to state abuseTe Pāti Māori is disgusted at the confirmation that hundreds are set to lose their jobs at Oranga Tamariki, and the disestablishment of the Treaty Response Unit. “This act of absolute carelessness and out of touch decision making is committing tamariki to state abuse.” Said Te Pāti Māori Oranga Tamariki ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Quick, submit – stop Govt’s dodgy approvals billThe Government is trying to bring in a law that will allow Ministers to cut corners and kill off native species, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said. ...2 weeks ago
- Government throws coal on the climate crisis fireThe Government’s policy announced today to ease consenting for coal mining will have a lasting impact across generations. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Public transport costs to double as National looks at unaffordable roading project insteadCancelling urgently needed new Cook Strait ferries and hiking the cost of public transport for many Kiwis so that National can announce the prospect of another tunnel for Wellington is not making good choices, Labour Transport Spokesperson Tangi Utikere said. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Cost of living in Auckland still not a priorityA laundry list of additional costs for Tāmaki Makarau Auckland shows the Minister for the city is not delivering for the people who live there, says Labour Auckland Issues spokesperson Shanan Halbert. ...3 weeks ago
- Te Pāti Māori to visit Queensland to strengthen ties with Māori in AustraliaTe Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi, and Mema Paremata mō Tāmaki-Makaurau, Takutai Tarsh Kemp, will travel to the Gold Coast to strengthen ties with Māori in Australia next week (15-21 April). The visit, in the lead-up to the 9th Australian National Kapa haka Festival, will be an opportunity for both ...3 weeks ago
- Modern insurance law will protect Kiwi households
The Government is modernising insurance law to better protect Kiwis and provide security in the event of a disaster, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. “These reforms are long overdue. New Zealand’s insurance law is complicated and dated, some of which is more than 100 years old. ...4 hours ago - Government recommits to equal payThe coalition Government is refreshing its approach to supporting pay equity claims as time-limited funding for the Pay Equity Taskforce comes to an end, Public Service Minister Nicola Willis says. “Three years ago, the then-government introduced changes to the Equal Pay Act to support pay equity bargaining. The changes were ...7 hours ago
- Transforming how our children learn to readStructured literacy will change the way New Zealand children learn to read - improving achievement and setting students up for success, Education Minister Erica Stanford says. “Being able to read and write is a fundamental life skill that too many young people are missing out on. Recent data shows that ...8 hours ago
- NZ not backing down in Canada dairy disputeTrade Minister Todd McClay says Canada’s refusal to comply in full with a CPTPP trade dispute ruling in our favour over dairy trade is cynical and New Zealand has no intention of backing down. Mr McClay said he has asked for urgent legal advice in respect of our ‘next move’ ...11 hours ago
- Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable childrenThe rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Children’s Commissioner. “The Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...12 hours ago
- Streamlining Building Consent ChangesThe Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “The coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...17 hours ago
- Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...1 day ago
- Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...Good evening – Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us. ...1 day ago
- Accelerating airport security linesFrom today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...1 day ago
- Community hui to talk about kina barrensPeople with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...2 days ago
- Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into forceKiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...2 days ago
- Mining resurgence a welcome signThere are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...2 days ago
- Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first readingThe return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...2 days ago
- Government to boost public EV charging networkEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure. The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...2 days ago
- Residential Property Managers Bill to not progressThe coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Government’s plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “I have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...2 days ago
- Independent review into disability support servicesThe Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...2 days ago
- Justice Minister updates UN on law & order planJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...3 days ago
- Ending emergency housing motels in RotoruaThe Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...3 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and DubaiTrade Minister Todd McClay heads overseas today for high-level trade talks in the Gulf region, and a key OECD meeting in Paris. Mr McClay will travel to Riyadh to meet with counterparts from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). “New Zealand’s goods and services exports to the Gulf region ...3 days ago
- Education priorities focused on lifting achievementEducation Minister Erica Stanford has outlined six education priorities to deliver a world-leading education system that sets Kiwi kids up for future success. “I’m putting ambition, achievement and outcomes at the heart of our education system. I want every child to be inspired and engaged in their learning so they ...3 days ago
- NZTA App first step towards digital driver licenceThe new NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) App is a secure ‘one stop shop’ to provide the services drivers need, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Digitising Government Minister Judith Collins say. “The NZTA App will enable an easier way for Kiwis to pay for Vehicle Registration and Road User Charges (RUC). ...3 days ago
- Supporting whānau out of emergency housingWhānau with tamariki growing up in emergency housing motels will be prioritised for social housing starting this week, says Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka. “Giving these whānau a better opportunity to build healthy stable lives for themselves and future generations is an essential part of the Government’s goal of reducing ...3 days ago
- Tribute to Dave O'SullivanRacing Minister Winston Peters has paid tribute to an icon of the industry with the recent passing of Dave O’Sullivan (OBE). “Our sympathies are with the O’Sullivan family with the sad news of Dave O’Sullivan’s recent passing,” Mr Peters says. “His contribution to racing, initially as a jockey and then ...3 days ago
- Speech – Eid al-FitrAssalaamu alaikum, greetings to you all. Eid Mubarak, everyone! I want to extend my warmest wishes to you and everyone celebrating this joyous occasion. It is a pleasure to be here. I have enjoyed Eid celebrations at Parliament before, but this is my first time joining you as the Minister ...3 days ago
- Government saves access to medicinesAssociate Health Minister David Seymour has announced Pharmac’s largest ever budget of $6.294 billion over four years, fixing a $1.774 billion fiscal cliff. “Access to medicines is a crucial part of many Kiwis’ lives. We’ve committed to a budget allocation of $1.774 billion over four years so Kiwis are ...4 days ago
- Pharmac Chair appointedHon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,” says Mr Seymour. ...5 days ago
- Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. “We know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “Every day, ...5 days ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...6 days ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges. “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...6 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...6 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...1 week ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...1 week ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...1 week ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...1 week ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...1 week ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...1 week ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...1 week ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...1 week ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...1 week ago
- Julie Anne Genter: Greens had 'no prior knowledge' of fresh complaint against MP
A florist says she felt intimidated during a heated exchange with the MP. ...2 hours ago - Insurance law overhaul passes first readingRecent extreme weather events showed the importance of a well-functioning insurance system, says Commerce and Consumer Affairs minister Andrew Bayly. ...2 hours ago
- NZ Foreign Minister Peters accused of ‘entirely defamatory’ remarks about ex-Australian minister
By Jo Moir, RNZ News political editor, and Craig McCulloch, deputy political editor New Zealand’s Labour Party is demanding Winston Peters be stood down as Foreign Minister for opening up the government to legal action over his “totally unacceptable” attack on a prominent AUKUS critic. In an interview on RNZ’s ...2 hours ago - How much time should you spend sitting versus standing? New research reveals the perfect mix for opt...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Christian Brakenridge, Postdoctoral research fellow at Swinburne University, Centre for Urban Transitions, Baker Heart and Diabetes Institute The Conversation, Gorodenkoff/Shutterstock People have a pretty intuitive sense of what is healthy – standing is better than sitting, exercise is great for overall ...2 hours ago
- Into The Deep End – Karori Lifeguard Up For Challenge As Reserve Force Soldier
The Wellington-based Reserve Force soldier is now almost three years into his New Zealand Army career with 5th/7th Battalion, Royal New Zealand Infantry Regiment. ...3 hours ago - Brazilian couple's residency case taken up by minister after advisor forgets to apply for visaAfter multiple pleas and petition, an Auckland couple's residency case is being looked at by the Associate Minister of Immigration. ...3 hours ago
- Fast Track Approvals Bill: None from first day of hearings support bill in current formNone of the groups that spoke to Parliament's environment committee on Thursday supported the bill as it stands. ...3 hours ago
- Australia will trial ‘age assurance’ tech to bar children from online porn. What is it and will ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Paul Haskell-Dowland, Professor of Cyber Security Practice, Edith Cowan University Daniel Jedzura/Shutterstock Responding to a resurgence in gender-based violence and deaths in Australia, the National Cabinet has committed almost A$1 billion to a range of strategies. Tackling “online harms” was among the ...4 hours ago
- Government Cuts Put 130 Jobs On The Line At Kāinga Ora, And 40 At HUD"The Government needs to release the review immediately as this reckless approach to change risks disjointed decision making and creates more distress and uncertainty for staff," Fitzsimons said. ...4 hours ago
- Jeremiah Manele is new Solomon Islands PM with ‘100 day plan’By Koroi Hawkins, RNZ Pacific editor Jeremiah Manele has been elected Prime Minister of Solomon Islands, polling 31 votes to 18 over rival candidate and former opposition leader Mathew Wale with one abstention. The final result of the election by secret ballot was announced by the Governor-General, Sir David Vunagi, ...4 hours ago
- Will Solomon Islands’ new leader stay close to China?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Priestley Habru, PhD candidate, public diplomacy, University of Adelaide Former foreign minister Jeremiah Manele has been elected the next prime minister of Solomon Islands, defeating the opposition leader, Matthew Wale, in a vote in parliament. The result is a mixed bag for ...5 hours ago
- A clock in the rocks: what cosmic rays tell us about Earth’s changing surface and climateSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shaun Eaves, Senior Lecturer in Physical Geography, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Jamey Stutz, CC BY-SA How often do mountains collapse, volcanoes erupt or ice sheets melt? For Earth scientists, these are important questions as we try ...7 hours ago
- Watch: PM's pre-Budget education announcement for teaching readingFrom next year, the government expects all public schools to take a "proven structured literacy approach". ...7 hours ago
- Multiple parties complain over Green MP Julie Anne Genter's conductSpeaker Gerry Brownlee won't say which parties have taken issue with Julie Anne Genter's outburst. ...7 hours ago
- Aggressive? Homophobic? Stoic? Here’s what thousands of Australian men told us about modern mascul...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Flood, Professor of Sociology, Queensland University of Technology Shutterstock Most young adult men in Australia reject traditional ideas of masculinity that endorse aggression, stoicism and homophobia. Nonetheless, the ongoing influence of those ideas continues to harm men and the people ...8 hours ago
- Watch live as the PM makes pre-Budget education announcementFrom next year, the government expects all public schools to take a "proven structured literacy approach". ...8 hours ago
- NZQA Jobs To Go As Government Education Cuts Roll OnThe NZQA proposal released to staff today would involve a net loss of 35 roles. There are 66 roles being disestablished with 13 of those currently vacant, and 31 new roles proposed, said Fleur Fitzsimons Public Service Association Te Pūkenga Here Tikanga ...8 hours ago
- The star-studded New Zealand movie you need to see as soon as possible
Alex Casey talks to Loren Taylor, the writer, director and star of new film The Moon is Upside Down, about assembling her dream ensemble cast, toilet paper pads and turning literal dreams into reality. There’s a moment in The Moon is Upside Down where frazzled anaesthetist Briar (Loren Taylor) gets ...8 hours ago - Ministry of Housing and Urban Development to cut 40 jobs, NZQA to cut 35The total number of job losses in the public services has now gone over 3500. ...8 hours ago
- You’ve been ‘volun-told’ to coach junior sport – here’s how to best handle the parents inv...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Cassy Dittman, Senior Lecturer/Head of Course (Undergraduate Psychology), Research Fellow, Manna Institute, CQUniversity Australia With winter sports swinging into action, adults around the country have volunteered or been volunteered by others (humorously known as being “volun-told”) to coach junior sports teams. ...9 hours ago
- Do we really need to burp babies? Here’s what the research saysSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Karleen Gribble, Adjunct Associate Professor, School of Nursing and Midwifery, Western Sydney University richardernestyap/Shutterstock Parents are often advised to burp their babies after feeding them. Some people think burping after feeding is important to reduce or prevent discomfort crying, or to ...9 hours ago
- ASB Workers To Strike As Bank Proposes An Effective Pay CutWorkers at a major ASB contact centre in Auckland have voted to take strike action and withdraw their labour following disappointing pay negotiations with the employer and an "offer" to workers that would leave them worse off than the previous year. ...10 hours ago
- Where else should phones be banned? The most unruly classroom of all – parliamentAs the government tries to get the country back on track with a school phone ban, Tara Ward has an idea for where they should turn their attention to next. New Zealand students returned to school on Monday morning, but their cellphones did not. The government’s new phone ban began ...10 hours ago
- Winston Peters accused of 'entirely defamatory' remarks about ex-Australian ministerThe Labour Party is demanding Peters be stood down, saying "he's embarrassed the country" with a "totally unacceptable" attack on a prominent AUKUS critic. ...10 hours ago
- Watch: Labour leader Chris Hipkins speaks to mediaThe opposition leader speaks to media during a visit with community advocate Dave Letele . ...11 hours ago
- Watch live: Labour leader Chris Hipkins speaks to mediaThe opposition leader speaks to media during a visit with community advocate Dave Letele . ...11 hours ago
- Public sector job cuts: All Stats NZ staff offered voluntary redundanciesThe PSA is concerned the cuts will hit the department's ability to deliver on its core functions. ...12 hours ago
- IPAC wants to see acknowledgement of all cyber breaches against public figuresThe Inter-Parliamentary Alliance, whose members were victims of a China-backed cyber attack, is discussing forming a standing committee to deal with foreign influence. ...12 hours ago
- Government’s Cuts Put Work Of Stats NZ At RiskThe PSA is concerned that the voluntary redundancies being offered to staff by Stats NZ will impact on the agency’s ability to deliver on its core functions. ...12 hours ago
- Is cooking with dog food instead of meat actually fine? I gave it a goResults ranged from surprisingly yum to soul-destroying. I love cooking. The kitchen is a hearth of culinary creation, of sensory delights, of gastronomic poetry. I also can’t afford anything nice. Why does a pack of instant noodles and some milk cost ten bucks? I love you, Aotearoa, but I miss ...12 hours ago
- Zero tolerance – Solomon Islands police on high alert ahead of PM electionBy Koroi Hawkins, RNZ Pacific editor Police in Solomon Islands are on high alert ahead of the election of the prime minister today. The two candidates for the top job are former foreign affairs minister Jeremiah Manele at the head of the Coalition for National Unity and Transformation, which is ...12 hours ago
- Fast-track Submitters Must Not Be Silenced Through Poor Select Committee Process“We’re concerned that if the Select Committee process is poorly run members of the public will be silenced on this deeply troubling Bill.” ...13 hours ago
- Number of businesses seeking help to downsize doubles as unemployment growsAn advocate says businesses are hurting and are reluctantly having to lay off workers. ...13 hours ago
- Help Me Hera: My friend’s boyfriend Steve is always, always, always aroundHe’s fine but it feels like I’m losing a friend and it’s making me bitter. How do I say ‘enough is enough’? Want Hera’s help? Email your problem to helpme@thespinoff.co.nz Hey Hera, I’ve recently moved in with a girlfriend, her partner Steve, and his friend. We all live in a lovely little house. ...13 hours ago
- What junior doctors’ unpaid overtime tells us about the toxic side of medicineSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Claire Hooker, Senior Lecturer and Coordinator, Health and Medical Humanities, University of Sydney PeopleImages.com – Yuri A/Shutterstock What’s been described as the largest underpayment class action in Australian legal history has just been settled. Who was allegedly underpaid? Thousands of junior ...14 hours ago
- We think we control our health – but corporations selling forever chemicals, fossil fuels and ult...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nick Chartres, Senior Research Fellow, Faculty of Medicine & Health, University of Sydney shutterstock Ahmet Misirligul/Shutterstock You go to the gym, eat healthy and walk as much as possible. You wash your hands and get vaccinated. You control your health. This is ...14 hours ago
- Here’s how you can talk to your kids about gendered violence, and 7 ways to model good behaviourSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jacqueline Hendriks, Research Fellow and Lecturer, Curtin University Children and young people may be seeing news headlines about men murdering women or footage of people rallying to call for action. Perhaps they or their friends have even gone to the protests. ...14 hours ago
- Why are adults without kids hooked on Bluey? And should we still be calling it a ‘kids’ show’?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Balanzategui, Senior Lecturer in Media, RMIT University ABC “Bluey mania” shows no sign of abating. Bluey’s season finale, The Sign, was the most viewed ABC program of all time on iView. A “hidden” follow-up episode, aptly named The Surprise, created ...14 hours ago
- Over $300K spent on slushy syrup and maintaining machines for prison staffCorrections has spent over $305,000 on slushy syrup and maintaining frozen ice machines in the past six years. ...14 hours ago
- Winston Peters still trying to find out what Aukus Pillar 2 is aboutThe Foreign Minister says he is continuing work started by the previous Labour government. ...15 hours ago
- Unemployment up, business confidence downLabour market figures came in softer than the Reserve Bank had forecast, but they won’t be enough to move the needle on interest rates, writes Catherine McGregor in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. Unemployment ...15 hours ago
- Luxon’s leadership test: what would it take to win back unimpressed NZ voters?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Suze Wilson, Senior Lecturer, School of Management, Massey University Christopher Luxon’s sacking of two struggling cabinet ministers last week was praised by pundits as a sign of decisive – even “brutal” and “ruthless” – leadership. But this week’s 1News-Verian poll suggests the ...15 hours ago
- Government to tweak Building Act to make building a home easierBuilding and Construction Minister Chris Penk says it takes nearly 600 days to build a house in NZ - and that is simply too long. ...16 hours ago
- Citizenship (Western Samoa) Act 1982 Bill Steering Committee Launches Community Engagement CampaignThe campaign will engage the community and encourage submissions on the bill to the New Zealand government by the closing submission deadline of Friday 31st of May 2024 4pm. ...17 hours ago
- Shaky Foundations: Why Our Democracy Needs Trust | Limit Urgency To Rebuild Trust: New ResearchThe paper raises concerns about declining trust in New Zealand's political institutions and democratic processes, and the role that the overuse of Parliamentary urgency plays in that. ...17 hours ago
- My co-housing project failed, but I still think it’s a great ideaThe Urban Habitat Collective was an attempt to built an innovative new form of apartment building in Wellington. Here’s why it failed, and why the idea could still work, writes co-founder Bronwen Newton. When we started the Urban Habitat Collective in November 2018, we thought we were starting a revolution, ...17 hours ago
- A new generation of activism: Marking 20 years since the foreshore and seabed hīkoiTwo decades ago this week, a controversial law that attempted to define ownership of the foreshore and seabed prompted a formidable display of outrage and kōtahitanga as 15,000 marched to parliament. Jamie Tahana looks back. ‘Hīkoi, hīkoi,” they chanted by the thousands as the biggest Māori march in a generation ...17 hours ago
- Concerns of spending spree if disability funding changes were consulted on
Whaikaha had no intention of giving anyone – even other agencies – advance warning of its plan to limit what disabled people and their carers could buy The post Concerns of spending spree if disability funding changes were consulted on appeared first on Newsroom. ...17 hours ago - Newsroom daily quiz, Thursday 2 MayLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Thursday 2 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...17 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Thursday 2 MayThe post Daily crossword, Thursday 2 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...17 hours ago
- Palestinian activist ‘perplexed’ by minister’s special visa argumentAs Palestinians escape the war zone in Gaza, activists say emergency visas, like those issued to Ukrainians, are needed The post Palestinian activist ‘perplexed’ by minister’s special visa argument appeared first on Newsroom. ...17 hours ago
- When dying well is out of reachWhy has New Zealand slipped from third to 12th on Quality of Death Indexes over the past decade or so? Hospice New Zealand Chief Executive Wayne Naylor has a list of reasons. “We don’t have a current national strategy – the Government hasn’t renewed our 2001 strategy, so we don’t ...17 hours ago
- New SASS Talk podcast sparks convo in sportWhile women’s sport is exploding in Aotearoa and around the world, you still don’t hear a lot of talk about athletes and their periods, RED-S, breastfeeding and visible panty-lines. SASS (Suze and Sez Sports) Talk isn’t afraid to have that kōrero. LockerRoom founder Suzanne McFadden and Olympian broadcaster Sarah ...17 hours ago
- Season two of The Boy in the WaterOn an unusually hot night in January 2019, a little boy’s lifeless body was found face up in a small town’s sewage oxidation pond. To the police, it was an open and shut case: three-year-old Lachlan Jones had run away from his home in the Southland town of Gore, climbed ...17 hours ago
- New push for corporate killing lawsA Labour Party Member’s Bill aims to plug a culpability gap between manslaughter and health and safety breaches The post New push for corporate killing laws appeared first on Newsroom. ...17 hours ago
- Book of the Week: The naked civil servantTerence O’Brien had the rare and no doubt undesired distinction of rising to one of the most exalted positions in New Zealand diplomacy, then being unceremoniously recalled to Wellington without explanation just when his career was at its zenith. What is perhaps more surprising is that he appears to have ...17 hours ago
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Thanks for the laugh Eddie. Can’t remember a previous PM whose birthday was so discussed by the media. Breakfast acting like giddy schoolgirls over the birthday was particularly embarrassing.
Never realised Key was a Leo…all his personal references (he’s very fond of giving his own experience of an event rather than an empathic reading of affairs) make a lot of sense now…
To quote the infamous Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory:
“Yes… it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relevant to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.”
You’re quoting a character in a non-classic sitcom as a dis? Fail.
People quoting astrology are in no position to throw stones – you FAIL that one tigger.
Narcissism
Relief Eddie, I had fears for the Cycleway….all praise to our Beloved Leader.
PS Where the F is it?
Pleased to see that the female reporter in the poster has her head covered in the presence of Respected Leader.
Great poster and post.
Peeked out from under my tin foil hat just long enough to read this. Well played Eddie.
♪ ♫ Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all
He’s no fucking use to anyone
He’s no fucking use at all ♫ ♪
What ? It’s Helen’s birthday ?
No, it isn’t Helen’s birthday.
But it was nine times while she was PM. Feel free to point out any similarly sycophantic stories of journalists – yes, journalists – fawning over the Prime Minister, with cakes and cards and a devoted smooch on the buttocks.
What you got?
Tell you what I got!
During Helen Clark’s first few months as PM, a TV1 camera crew filmed the exterior of her home in Mt Eden. For several seconds, they zoomed in on an old, scruffy garden broom which was leaning against a wooden wall just below a side window. A subliminal attempt to associate Helen (and Peter) with a shabby old run-down villa? Why else would they have used that particular footage on prime time news coverage.
The difference in treatment between Clark and Key could not be more marked.
She still has that broom, uses it regularly between NZ and NY
Good one Steve. I like it. 😀
Gotta have a sense of humour these days.
You don’t need that shit if you are good at your job
All things considered, this is fundamentally lame.
Great stuff, Eddie. The pic is particularly smashing. Is it an original?
L
Ah, Clarence ! Have a nice day .. and don’t forget to humbly express your appreciation to our Dear Leader for our increasingly feudal society.
Sir John Key ? It will impress the Chinese during the next FTA round.
Great post Eddie. But funny you should say “our glorious nation will bury running dog Australians by 2025” for only this morning I was reading this article in The Australian by its Economics Editor Michael Stutchbury:
I’m not saying I agree with him, but it’s interesting that while Key is spruiking “catching up to Australia”, some in Australia are fearing “falling behind NZ”,
That is THE ‘The Australian’ your quoting from Rex?
Owned by Rupurt Murdock’s NewCorp with a link to Fox News on it’s web?
Yes, acknowledging all that but note that the article’s title is “Leadership contenders have nothing to say and nothing to spend”; criticises both Abbott and Gillard; says “the Coalition’s tax policy is a shambles”; quotes Garnault (the architect of Rudd’s abandoned ETS) criticising Howard’s “Work Choices” etc. Not exactly Tory spin… remember there’s no equivalent of the Act Party to benefit from undermining the Coalition.
And more to the point it’s an Australian predicting they might fall behind New Zealand… they’d rather have their testicles removed through their nose 😀
Rex read the damn thing!!
‘New Zealand is again moving ahead of Australia on economic reform.’ =
New Zealand is becoming a haven for dodgy business and the rich like it was in the 90s when it had great economic reform…
They don’t say- wages are likely to catch up, or New Zealand is becoming a richer and more equitable society as a result. Or even that we are likely to improve our growth as a result.
hmmm. The author supports neo-liberal policies and Australian politicians don’t. Dog-whistling.
Did you miss the bit where I said “I’m not saying I agree with him”, tea? And the reason I don’t is pretty much for the reasons you’ve outlined.
I just find it ironic that National is saying “we must move toward x so as to come into line with Australia” and Australia (or at least those of a right persuasion) are now saying “we also must move toward x, so as to mimic NZ”… suggesting that actually neither believes what they’re saying, but are using supposed disparity with the other as an excuse to move toward x.
I probably should have spelled out the irony a little better, but sheesh… I thought I was writing for a literate audience 😉 😛
What I find horrible is the assumption that “moving ahead on economic reform” is self-evidently good, like getting the road toll down.
It’s the *Right Honorable* John Key now, Eddie.
Dear Leader’s got a shiny new title.
Ah so! Eddie is from North Korea?
For John Key’s birthday, gift-wrapped; one bold economic plan with vision, to get our economy moving again. (Does not come with batteries or tax-cuts.)