Caption competition
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3:06 pm, May 7th, 2015 - 23 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key, Minister for International Embarrassment -
Tags: be prepared, ponytailgate
Media prepare to meet with the PM yesterday:
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Stats NZ has confirmed that higher rent prices were the biggest contributor to the annual inflation rate. Almost a fifth of the 2.2 per cent annual increase in the CPI was due to rent prices. ...3 weeks ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
Minister for Hunting and Fishing Todd McClay has today launched an Access Charter (the Charter) to ensure better access for recreational hunting and fishing on public conservation land (PCL) across New Zealand. “This Charter establishes guiding principles for the Department of Conservation (DOC) to provide clear and transparent decisions on ...1 day ago - Pou Whenua blessing honours Tongariro
A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...2 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today announced two new appointments to the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) Board. Mary-Anne Macleod and Mike Rudge have both been appointed as members for three-year terms commencing 1 November 2024 and ending 31 October 2027. “Transport is a critical part of our Government’s plan ...2 days ago
- Welcome relief from new oestradiol gel funding
Associate Health Minister David Seymour is welcoming Pharmac’s funding of oestradiol gel, following global shortages of oestradiol patches earlier this year. “I’m well aware of the stress caused by the global shortage earlier this year. At the time I said I was confident Pharmac was working hard to find a ...2 days ago
- Deputy Prime Minister visit to Australia
Foreign Minister and Racing Minister Winston Peters will visit Australia next week. “Australia is New Zealand’s closest partner, and we are pleased to make this second official visit there for 2024 following the first ever Foreign and Defence Ministers 2+2 Meeting between our two countries in Melbourne in January,” ...2 days ago
- Applications now open for new training pathway
Applications have now opened for tertiary education organisations to seek Government funding to develop New Zealand’s first postgraduate diploma programme for associate psychologists, Minister for Mental Health Matt Doocey announced today. “Investment in this new training pathway supports the Government’s target to grow our mental health and addiction workforce and ...2 days ago
- Increased medicines access continues following budget boost
Associate Health Minister with responsibility for Pharmac David Seymour is pleased to see further increased availability of medicines for Kiwis following the Government’s increased investment in Pharmac. “Pharmac operates independently, but it must work within the budget constraints set by the Government,” says Mr Seymour. “When this Government assumed office, ...2 days ago
- New Zealand concludes high quality trade deal with the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC)
New Zealand and the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) have concluded negotiations on a trade agreement that will open up significant opportunities for New Zealand exporters in the Gulf region, Minister for Trade and Agriculture Todd McClay announced from Doha today. Today’s announcement follows significant reengagement with the GCC following meetings ...2 days ago
- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
The Government is exploring how to modernise the law around people attending court remotely, to support access to justice and enhance court performance. Courts Minister Nicole McKee says the current law has not kept up with evolving court practices and public attitudes to the use of remote technology, nor been ...3 days ago
- Breast screening age extension begins in Nelson Marlborough
Free breast screening has been extended for 70 to 74-year-old women living in the Nelson Marlborough district, ahead of a national roll-out late next year, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today. “Breast cancer is the most common cancer in New Zealand with about 3,400 women diagnosed with the disease ...3 days ago
- Te Māori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board strengthened
He toi whakairo, he mana tangata. The reappointment of one trustee and the appointment of four new trustees to the Te Māori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board will enable the legacy of Te Māori to be carried forward into the future, Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka and Arts Minister Paul Goldsmith ...3 days ago
- Affordable housing project supporting home ownership
Up to 300 affordable, healthy, community-tailored homes helping to support home ownership are set to be built in eastern Porirua, supported by Government funding for Our Whare Our Fale through the Building Homes for Pacific in Porirua initiative, Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti and Associate Housing Minister Tama ...3 days ago
- Dire benefit forecasts show the need for Welfare that Works
A new report that forecasts young people on benefits will spend an average of 20 more years relying on welfare underscores the need for the Government’s reforms, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. MSD’s latest Benefit System Insights report, released today, which estimates how many future years different ...3 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Doha for GCC trade discussions
Trade Minister Todd McClay will hold trade discussions with Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) trade ministers in Doha this week. Minister McClay will meet with all six GCC Trade Ministers, as well as the GCC Secretary General. “This will be my seventh visit to the region this year including two Ministerial ...4 days ago
- Podiatry prescribers will boost patient care
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti and Associate Minister David Seymour say it’s great news that podiatrists will soon be able to prescribe medicines, meaning patients with painful foot and leg conditions don’t have to make a separate trip to the doctor. “This simple step means a big change for people ...4 days ago
- Historic redress inequities finally resolved for Lake Alice Unit survivors
The Government is addressing historic redress inequities for some survivors abused at the Lake Alice Child and Adolescent Unit. In 2001, the Crown reached a $6.5 million group settlement with 95 survivors subjected to abuse at the Lake Alice Unit. Law firm Grant Cameron & Associates (now GCA Lawyers) represented ...4 days ago
- ERO report shows Government’s truancy emphasis is vital
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that the Education Review Office’s (ERO) timely report on chronic school absence released today is further evidence of a truancy crisis. “Chronic absence has doubled since 2015. This report reinforces that action is needed to ensure this generation reaches its full potential,” says Associate ...4 days ago
- Minister welcomes business view on AML
Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee welcomes BusinessNZ’s report which addresses reducing the compliance burden on small businesses. “The challenges outlined in the report released today echo many of the concerns I have heard from businesses, which have informed my Anti Money Laundering/Countering Financing Terrorism (AML/CFT) priorities,” she says. “I have ...5 days ago
- Mangamuka Gorge opening in time for Christmas
State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge will be open for Christmas, with critical work currently underway to clear the large slips and dropouts that have caused significant disruption for Northlanders trying to get where they want to go quickly and safely, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “The Mangamuka Gorge ...5 days ago
- Trusted building professionals able to self-certify
The Government is proposing further significant action to reform the building and construction sector to support more affordable homes and a stronger economy, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “If we want to grow the economy, lift incomes, create jobs and build more affordable, quality homes we need a ...5 days ago
- New appointments to the TEC board
Dr Alan Bollard CNZM and Mr Bharat Guha have been appointed to the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) board, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. “I would like to welcome the two new members joining the TEC board,” Ms Simmonds says. “Dr Alan Bollard CNZM is an experienced public ...5 days ago
- Move to fast-track overseas doctors welcomed
Fast tracking applications for registration by eligible specialist doctors wanting to practice in New Zealand is in line with the Government’s push to improve the health outcomes for New Zealanders, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says. This fast-track pathway applies to specialists trained in anaesthesia, dermatology, emergency medicine, general practice, ...5 days ago
- Address to Western Sydney University: Constitutional and Rule of Law challenges in current global en...
Tēnā koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General – the New Zealand Crown’s Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...5 days ago
- Security advice for start-ups welcomed
Minister responsible for the security and intelligence agencies Judith Collins has welcomed new guidance that aims to protect New Zealand’s start-up and emerging technology sector from the threat of economic espionage. “We are a nation well-known for our ingenuity, and our willingness to openly collaborate in the spirit of enterprise ...5 days ago
- Funding support to strengthen frontline volunteer service organisations
The Government has approved $23.1 million for four critical frontline volunteer service organisations to replace storm-damaged assets and provide training and equipment to improve New Zealand’s response to future emergency events, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Associate Transport Minister Matt Doocey says. $14.6 million for Surf Life Saving New ...6 days ago
- Jones heads to international mining conference
Resources Minister Shane Jones will speak at Australia's largest annual mining event in Sydney this week to mark New Zealand’s return to the international industry stage. Mr Jones will attend the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) where he will update the sector’s most influential players on the work the ...7 days ago
- NZ investing in Pacific disaster preparedness & climate resilience
New Zealand will contribute $20 million to the Pacific Resilience Facility, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters have announced. “The Pacific Islands region faces severe challenges from natural disasters and climate change impacts and New Zealand is committed to doing its part to help meet them,” ...1 week ago
- Police to increase presence on Auckland public transport
Aucklanders will see a greater Police presence on public transport services to boost safety and reassure public transport workers and passengers, Police Minister Mark Mitchell and Transport and Auckland Minister Simeon Brown say. “Minister Brown and I are working together, alongside Police and Auckland Transport in response to the horrific ...1 week ago
- Government funds helicopter replacements
The Government is investing in eight new emergency helicopters to replace some of New Zealand’s ageing air ambulance fleet, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello and ACC Minister Matt Doocey announced today. “Our air ambulance helicopters play a vital role in saving lives around New Zealand,” Casey Costello says. “This is ...1 week ago
- China and New Zealand strengthen organic trade
An uplift to New Zealand’s organic product trade is expected through a new upgraded arrangement with China, Food Safety Minister Andrew Hoggard says.“The upgraded Mutual Recognition Arrangement (MRA) for organic products will deliver opportunities for our organic export sector.”The upgraded MRA was signed in Central Otago today by Andrew Hoggard ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announced
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced two Court of Appeal and two High Court appointments. The four appointments will take effect on 21 November 2024 and are: Justice Christine French Justice French, who has been appointed President of the Court of Appeal, graduated with an LLB (Honours) from the University of Otago ...1 week ago
- Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track becomes New Zealand’s 11th Great Walk
Conservation Minister Tama Potaka joined tangata whenua from Ngāi Tahu and local community members today to celebrate the opening of New Zealand’s eleventh Great Walk – the Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track. “The 60km upgraded track provides the opportunity to do one of New Zealand’s world-class multi-day walks, and will bring ...1 week ago
- New Chief Criminal Cases Review Commissioner
The Honourable Denis Clifford has been appointed Chief Commissioner of the Criminal Cases Review Commission, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. Hon Clifford brings a wealth of expertise and experience that will prove invaluable to the Commission. “He has served as a judge at both the Court of Appeal and High ...1 week ago
- Changes to improve building fire safety
The Government is progressing changes to better protect Kiwis and their property from fires, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Following the tragic Loafer’s Lodge fire in 2023, 37 boardings houses across the country were assessed and I am pleased to say that all fire safety recommendations from the ...1 week ago
- Germany and New Zealand partner to support agriculture and tackle global emissions
New Zealand and Germany have announced the official start of a partnership aimed at supporting the agriculture sector and tackle global agricultural greenhouse gas emissions Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today. “The partnership, called the Alliance for the Climate – Dialogue on Climate and Agriculture between New Zealand and Germany (Agri-DENZ project), ...1 week ago
- New members appointed to the Waitangi Tribunal
Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka today confirmed the appointment of two new members to the Waitangi Tribunal, as well as the reappointment of Kevin Prime. The members appointed and reappointed are: Hon Richard Prebble (CBE). Mr Prebble is a former Cabinet Minister where he held a broad range of portfolios. ...1 week ago
- New appointments to the Local Government Commission
Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has today announced the reappointment of the current Chair and the appointment of a temporary member to the Local Government Commission.Current Chair Brendan Duffy ONZM has been reappointed as Chair for a one-year term ending 23 October 2025, while Gwen Bull CNZM will be joining ...1 week ago
- New Electoral Commission Chair appointed
Today the House agreed to Justice Simon Moore KC being appointed chair of the Electoral Commission, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Justice Moore brings with him a high level of legal acumen and decision-making ability, strategic planning skills and unquestionable personal integrity and independence. “He retired from the High Court ...1 week ago
- Education Minister attending conference in Australia
The Education Minister is travelling to Australia today to attend the 23rd edition of public policy conference, Consilium. “New Zealand and Australia share common challenges and aspirations for education. New South Wales has recently introduced a new curriculum that is explicit, sequenced and knowledge based while Victoria is requiring structured ...1 week ago
- Launching VisAble to enable safer lives
The launch of new community advocacy group VisAble signals an important development in community advocacy to achieve more focus on the needs and rights of disabled people in the family violence and sexual violence system. Minister for the Prevention of Family and Sexual Violence, Karen Chhour, and Disabilities Issues Minister, ...1 week ago
- An Ode for .. Matt Doocey
The Psychopathology of Everyday GumbootsMinister of Mental Health Doocey walks into the counselling session.A shadowy figure in gumboots behind a cloud of cigar smokeMotions to the couch.“Welcome,” says Legendary Viennese Psychoanalyst, Sigmund King. “What seems to be the problem?”“I have this friend,” begins Minister Doocey, “But he only wants to be my ...2 hours ago - US election: Latinos hit back by showing up
A heady mix of barbecued meat, horse poo, and cattle welcomes Latino voters as they walk between the metal fencing and into the arena at Rancho Ochoa.Some of those making their way into the Mexican rodeo in southwest Phoenix are there purely for the action: the bull riding, roping, big ...3 hours ago
- Parliament Library became haunted house for Halloween
Most people might not call Parliament a normal place, but some call it a paranormal place. ...4 hours ago - Healthcare needs go beyond the physical
Opinion: Recent Census data highlights our increasingly secular and multi-faith context. More than half of Aotearoa New Zealand’s population does not identify with any particular faith tradition, and just 32 percent are Christian, down from 36.5 percent in 2018.For people whose spirituality is not associated with a faith or belief ...4 hours ago
- The fascination with Katherine Mansfield
Inspiration to Compose Wellington based- singer-songwriter Charlotte Yates brings together some of New Zealand’s most talented musicians to create a unique concert Mansfield in Her Own Words. In this episode Yates explains her fascination with Mansfield.
https://player.vimeo.com/api/player.jsShe chooses poems for composers and performers including William Ricketts and Brooke Singer. We film Ricketts reflecting on Mansfield’s poem, A Sunset on a ...
4 hours ago - Three reasons America’s democracy is under threat
For just a few weeks shy of eight years now, a certain class of Americans have been walking around in something close to a daze. The election of Donald Trump in 2016 blew to smithereens decades of conventional wisdom about the way many Americans view politics.The ensuing years have seen ...5 hours ago
- Palau newspaper sued by president’s family company ahead of general election
By Stefan Armbruster of BenarNews Palau’s largest newspaper is being sued for defamation by the company of President Surangel Whipps Jr’s father, just days ahead of general elections in the Pacific nation. Surangel and Sons alleges “negligence and defamation” by the Island Times and its editor Leilani Reklai for an ...13 hours ago - Cook Islands PM calls for easing of tensions in New Caledonia
By Caleb Fotheringham, RNZ Pacific journalist Cook Islands Prime Minister Mark Brown has returned from New Caledonia saying it is not a simple “black and white situation”. Brown returned from a three-day Pacific fact-finding mission in the French Pacific territory alongside the Prime Ministers of Solomon Islands, Tonga and Fiji. ...21 hours ago
- Another Palestinian journalist killed in Gaza as Israel ‘suffocates the truth’
“In his message for the day, the secretary-general underscores that a free press is fundamental to human rights, to democracy and to the rule of law,” Dujarric said. ‘Alarming rate of fatalities’“Recent years have seen an alarming rate of fatalities in conflict zones, particularly in Gaza, which has seen the ...22 hours ago
- Chris Penk lays foundations for self-certified building scheme
As the government sets about laying the foundations for tradespeople to sign off their own work, RNZ sits down with the minister responsible to hammer out the details. ...1 day ago
- Short story: 3rd place, Sargeson Prize
WinterI still think of Michael often. We first met at Grace’s thirty-first birthday party. I was sitting outside on the back deck when he came out through the sliding glass doors. He was pulling a pouch from his coat pocket.“You want a smoke?” he asked, planting himself on the bench ...1 day ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Mike King
MondayI sat in at a team meeting to discuss our suicide prevention fundraising event this Friday night in Dunedin and was told we were struggling to gain an alcohol licence from the council.“Tell them Mike King is behind it,” I said. “My name opens doors. Do you see that door? It ...1 day ago
- The making of Donald Trump
It’s taken six years, but The Apprentice, the film former US President Donald Trump didn’t want anyone to see, is finally out in cinemas, just ahead of the US presidential election.There was so much back-and-forth around whether or not the production would go ahead that by the time filming was ...1 day ago
- Where the brain goes, the gut will follow
Comment: There has been a growing understanding of the powerful two-way connection between our stomach and brain in recent years, suitably named the gut-brain connection. This link is so strong that the gut is sometimes nicknamed our “second brain”, highlighting how real your “gut feelings” can be. If you’ve ever ...1 day ago
- The Weekend: When the tide turns
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. The window in which to “have an opinion” on an unfolding news story is shockingly small. Just as large newsrooms know that being “the first” to publish a breaking news story is often more important than anything written in it – ever ...1 day ago - Let people respond to the haka how they want to
Cultural challenges are an integral part of sports, but how teams respond has been a point of debate for some time. Self-proclaimed “loose head” England prop Joe Marler called for the haka to be scrapped earlier this week, before “clarifying” what he meant, attempting to pivot his statement, and then ...1 day ago
- ‘I’ve never lived it down’: The Breakfast live cross that still haunts Jack Tame
The TVNZ broadcaster reflects on his life in television, including a full circle moment with David Attenborough, his favourite politicians to interview and why he’ll never watch Game of Thrones. Jack Tame spends most of his time grilling our own MPs, but at the moment his heart is somewhere else. ...1 day ago
- ‘So subtle, yet so chaotic’: Wiri Donna’s perfect weekend playlist
Wellington’s Wiri Donna shares her perfect weekend playlist. Bianca Bailey is the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter behind the chamber-pop project Wiri Donna, which recently released its second EP, In My Chambers. “I’m feeling a little vulnerable about it, almost like I’m about to out myself as an angry person. ...1 day ago
- How the Gen Z broccoli haircut became big business for a teen barber
Three teenage barbers in Mt Albert have capitalised on a viral haircut to build businesses on Instagram. Duncan Greive gets a haircut and a lesson in modern business. Photography by Jin Fellet. ‘When I first started cutting hair, I messed up my friend really badly,’ says Ali. I shiver involuntarily ...1 day ago
- A new novel imagines a New Zealand version of the conservative South Asian grifter
There’s little to like about figures like American politician Vivek Ramaswamy, but there is a lot to learn. Earlier this year, American politician and failed Republican candidate, Vivek Ramaswamy, hosted notorious bagpipe, Ann Coulter, on his podcast. They talked for an hour, and frankly there’s no way I’m going to ...1 day ago
- The wild, exotic life of Katherine Mansfield
https://player.vimeo.com/api/player.jsKatherine Mansfield left New Zealand when she was 19 years old and died at the age of 34.In her short life she became our most famous short story writer, acquiring an international reputation for her stories, poetry, letters, journals and reviews. Biographies on Mansfield have been translated into 51 ...
1 day ago - Podcast: Giving employees what they want, when they want it
Fintechs are changing the way we spend and save, but they are also set to change the way we could be paid for work, or more correctly, how workers receive fringe benefits. As New Zealanders we’re used to having the bulk of our remuneration paid as an electronic payment ...1 day ago
- Albanese promises changes to HELP repayment arrangements to ease cost of living
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra People repaying HELP student debts would get cost-of-living relief under changes to repayment arrangements to be announced by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on Sunday. The minimum threshold for repayments to start would be lifted ...1 day ago
- Philippine Supreme Court orders ‘temporary protection’ for abducted environmental activist
By Jairo Bolledo in Manila The Philippine Supreme Court has granted temporary protection to an environmental activist abducted in Pangasinan earlier this year. In its resolution dated September 9 — but only made public this week — the court granted Francisco “Eco” Dangla III’s petition for temporary protection, and prohibited ...2 days ago
- Politics with Michelle Grattan: Bruce Wolpe says personal relations between Trump and Albanese would...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Days from the US presidential election, the polls are showing the outcome of the race between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump remains a nail biter. With the United States our closest ally, the result ...2 days ago
- Indo-Fijian ‘listen to us’ plea to NZ over Pacific ethnicity classification
By Lydia Lewis, RNZ Pacific presenter/Bulletin editor Fiji Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka says that as far as Fiji is concerned, Fijians of Indian descent are Fijian. While Fiji is part of the Pacific, Indo-Fijians are not classified as Pacific peoples in New Zealand; instead, they are listed under Indian and ...2 days ago
- Is thirst a good predictor of dehydration?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lauren Ball, Professor of Community Health and Wellbeing, The University of Queensland KieferPix/Shutterstock Water is essential for daily functioning and health, and we can only survive a few days without it. Yet we constantly lose water through sweat, urination and even ...2 days ago
- US election: The world could wait a fortnight thanks to one Arizona County
Come next Tuesday, the world will be watching Nate Young and his team – literally. There are now 21 livestream cameras showing early voter ballot drop-off locations and the inner-workings of the Maricopa County Tabulation and Election Center.The 24/7 livestreams that capture election employees’ every move might seem like overkill, but ...2 days ago
- Te Arawhiti – the Office for Māori Crown Relations set to lose more than 50 roles
Two proposals were made to staff on Friday - one would see a transfer of functions to Te Puni Kōkiri - with 44 employees transferred. ...2 days ago
- Naked tennis, outback feuds and a chimp named Tonka: what we’re streaming in November
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexa Scarlata, Research Fellow, Media & Communication, RMIT University As I write this, people around the country will be recovering from last night’s Halloween shenanigans, perhaps even experiencing a candy-induced comedown. Luckily, this month’s streaming picks include a serial killer flick that’ll ...2 days ago
- Tech billionaire Elon Musk’s social media posts have had a ‘sudden boost’ since July, new rese...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Timothy Graham, Associate Professor in Digital Media, Queensland University of Technology On July 13, shortly after Donald Trump was targeted by an assassination attempt, Elon Musk, the billionaire owner of X (formerly Twitter), tweeted to his more than 200 million followers: ...2 days ago
- Could Ukraine be heading toward a frozen conflict? Why so much is hinging on the US election
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Genauer, Senior Lecturer in International Relations, Flinders University In recent months, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has been pushing hard for the United States and European countries to double down on military support for his country until he can achieve his “victory ...2 days ago
- Australians love sport, but which ones do they actually play? National survey results paint a surpri...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Vaughan Cruickshank, Senior Lecturer in Health and Physical Education, University of Tasmania Liderina/Shutterstock Sport and physical activity are an important part of Australian culture and society. But how do we know which sports have the highest participation rates in Australia? ...2 days ago
- Mike King: A timeline of ups and downs in mental health
The former comedian is back in the headlines, this time for making controversial comments about alcohol - but it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers. ...2 days ago
- ‘I’m coming home from a party, and I don’t want to end up getting arrested’: do driving apps...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Verity Truelove, Senior Research Fellow in Road Safety Research, University of the Sunshine Coast Vlad Ispas/Shutterstock Apps such as Google Maps, Apple Maps and Waze can tell drivers when they are approaching speed cameras or random breath testing stations. Countries such ...2 days ago
- The Friday Poem: ‘THE THING IS’ by Johanna Cosgrove
A new poem by Johanna Cosgrove. THE THING IS i don’t know how to write about you while my heart bloated is mince for the jackdaws the slack jaw you pried open with careful fingers stroking my tongue as a treasure belonging to only you my whole mouth bruised by ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending November 1
The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (Faber & Faber, $37) “Though not perfect, a clear leap forward for ...2 days ago
- Dunedin council grants liquor licence for suicide prevention event that sparked Mike King’s al...
Dunedin's district licensing committee has granted a special licence for alcohol sales at a fashion show on Saturday that is raising money for a suicide prevention charity. ...2 days ago
- This new docuseries shows us another world of learning
Episode four of Home Education follows Kensey and her mum Alesha as they navigate a new journey of learning at home. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. As the wind blows through the poplar trees and the sun begins to lower, a ...2 days ago
- Which Australian states and territories perform best on gender representation in parliament? We crun...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Blair Williams, Lecturer in Australian Politics, Monash University Abortion became a key issue at the recent Queensland election, despite its decriminalisation in 2018. Voting against the motion at the time, LNP leader David Crisafulli fumbled questions throughout the election campaign about ...2 days ago
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“Do you think our pony tails will be safe with those measures?”
So we know who’s got a hair fetish, but who’s got the foot fetish?
John Key started getting a bad feeling when he realised that the press corps were apparently expecting some interesting developments from National’s next caucus meeting…
John said trichophilia isn’t contagious…. Pffft
“Why are we wearing these suits” says the man with the beard.
“It helps keep s the shit off our clothes when the puller opens his mouth”
Replays the tall guy.
” PM about to receive copy of Dirty Politics”
journalism students visit Whaleoil office suite
“If you think this is bad, wait till you see the preventative measures the Queen’s put in place for when Key meets the new royal baby”.
“oh, they are hairnets Prime Minister. We are having a Coronation St tribute and everyone came as ena sharples.”
https://www.google.co.nz/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcoronationstreet.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FEna_Sharples&ei=K-NKVdv8FaLCmwX-gIHICA&bvm=bv.92765956,d.dGY&psig=AFQjCNEQq5xaLmTo6FYlsazLRPzlMMoLyQ&ust=1431057586850129
national caucus don their anti-ponytail-pulling gear…
..prior to/preparing for – the arrival of key..
John Key and uncovered ponytails, why risk it…
circa 2035..
(after ‘the great arctic-methane explosion’ – in 2023 – made being permanently ‘inside’ compulsory..)
..citizens prepare to go outside into a climatechange ravaged environment..
National’s answer to elective surgery.
http://gordoncampbell.scoop.co.nz/2015/05/07/gordon-campbell-on-the-token-boost-to-elective-surgery/
Looks like the donkey doo is going to hit the fan if someone pulls his tail.
Urgent emergency memo from management to staff :
‘Attention EVERY one ! : Dear staff, please make absolutely sure to cover your hair securely today because we have been given notice that a notorious Parnell Hair Puller in a very high government position will be visiting our premises at any time during the day. Please do take care. Health and safety is very important for us. Thank you’
media prepare to record bachelor climax
Journalists could not be accused of nitpicking in their interviews of the PM yesterday.
Ninth floor Beehive staff prepare for the return of King Key
Message to MSM: Judith Collins does not believe in a bloodless coup so it could get messy.
‘fyi, the hare opration will b done quikly lke lightnning by famous slick oprator’
It’s Budget Time, guys, and after 30+ years of waiting, there’s sure to be some Trickle-Down effect this year.
So, lett’s prepare ourselves.
“No worries … I’ll get Billy Boy to sell off the hairnets”
Reporter One: “Dude, remember the good ol’ days when writing anything positive about Key was a safe bet”.
Reporter Two: “Yeah, he always protected us journo’s, but now the teflon’s worn off, the shit sticks to everything”.