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notices and features - Date published:
3:01 pm, June 19th, 2015 - 108 comments
Categories: caption contest -
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Yes, we could fit a couple of houses here.
Cant find a railroad track ….but this will do.
Roads of National Insignificants.
^^ My favourite thusfar.
brilliant, mac1.
“Roads of National Insignificants”
Rogues of National significance.
That works very well, Clemgeopin. Nice one.
Local men play chicken, find career as political roadkill.
National Cycle Way defeats tory efforts to throw each other under the bus.
Roads of Nationals pig ignorance
asphalt as insulation.. we can house people in car parks
I am out-standing so I am able to lie down on the job.
“You see Maurice, all this talk of people living in the gutter, it’s actually quite comfortable”.
A great caption! This one wins, IMO.
Fat reptile warms belly on hot road.
Progress on cycleway halted by incompetent obstruction.
You might die ,you say nick ? (Shrug) it happens
When he stands up, just a little nudge
With apologies to Talking Heads….
Nick was the Housing Minister but he still liked his asphelt.
Check it out … two moons!
National MPs lose their footing.
No fluoro, no cones, no signs, no speed restrictions… lucky they have their backs to the traffic, otherwise a driver would have had a plausible defense for a lack of impulse control. But then the folk most abused by this government can’t afford to fill the tank.
Minister’s pride hurt in attempted hit & run.
“Did you get his number, Maurice?”
“No, but he was Smiling and taking a selfie.”
LOL +1
Police look on from a distance as two idiots obstruct a public roadway.
They should have been fined like the port hills cyclist.
Proving we’re untouchable
“Bit further mate, I’m right behind you”
From here Nick and in my experience your head could really roll along way
When John says lie you do it
See, no worries. The whole country is failing to keep left at crucial times.
Tory chicken: who is willing to move farthest to their right?
edit lolsnap augustus
Hit the road Nick and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.
We are really hard men! compared to that grass loving hippy Colin Craig
Nick & Maurice try to commit suicide, because of bullying by journalists.
Key thinks we are two idiots and nincompoops. We want to show him that we are not! not! not! not! not! not! Not even! Nah, nah, nah, nah!
NAAAAAAAAAaaaaahMORRICE..I fuckjn GOT this one *hic.. no worries …wares mi fxfkjn keys …oh ahhh …this is nice. ..jst lemme hav a wee kip..mmmm *mumble mumble ….
Oh choice ..heres comes P.Ms limo.. this is gonna be choice … Look up Nicky … Look up.. wave wave …just lift yr fuckin arm a bit .. ah fuck……look Don’t Move..
.. Hey ! Hi there John! Oh… Nick? Yeah.. I Know… I Know.. look.. if theres Anything I can…call tomorrow? Oh look… Anytime… yep.. I’ll be around …See you!……s’o.k Nicky.. all coochy… num nums… mmm sleepy bye baby…
“Hey Mau, can you touch that colourful big rainbow up there?”
“No Ni, just your beautiful tiny bum down here, love!”
Transport Minister Smith has just closed all cycleways and made them into person rolling lanes. This is based on new research that people side rolling can transport greater numbers than traditional empty cycle lanes.
Conservative Party Leadership Hopefuls Roadshow destroys “Big Gay Rainbow”.
or
Roadway tries desperately to distance itself from undesirable pedestrians.
You know if you’re going to throw someone under a bus maybe the cycle lane is not quite the right place to do it
🙂
Maurice; ” Nick, I’m not sure this is what the PM meant when he told us to lie about the roads”.
well done, potato.
Maurice: There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
Nick: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
Maurice: Aye, and they think they know about social housing crisis!
Maurice to Nick: “The Prime Minister said that you should follow my example and fall down on the job.”
watch this road get destroyed in seconds , everything i touch stuffs up.
Never mind the width Mr Liu, feel the quality!
Just a bit further to your right, guys…
Nick Smith & Maurice Williamson discuss proposal to privatise roading system.
Nick Smith hopes for Suicide by Cyclist, rather than face Judith Collins as PM
Incompetent Nats turn night on the tiles into morning on the asphalt
Goodbye porky pies
Latest reality show – come lie with me – “it’s like a mash up of the odd couple and dancing with the stars with a bit of building renovation all mixed with healthy doses of Game of Thrones humour” says Nick. Maurice agrees, “Yeah, nah, yeah – this show makes breaking bad look like breaking pretty good – Nick and I are fucken all over it yo.
…..Forest and Bird release photographic proof that national pests are on the increase and advice that road users can reduce this threat to N.Z by turning them into roadkill
What’s wrong with being a roadie? I had to be resilient while I was young. (Damn someone else, mac1, has beaten me to the Monty Python touch! But mine has extras! I’ve put in the link so you can see facsmiles of our pollies at a National Party planning session for the social standards of our society.)
Well we had it tough…There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road. ..We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
Well spotted greyshark!
“Just a little further left Nick and that should provide me with an opening…….”
“…and the bedroom would be here…what a view to wake up to….”
M.W. born 1951, N.S. born 1964………Crouching Rabbit, Lying Dragon.
No comment, but what are they actually doing??
Mind boggles Ffloyd. First time I have seen a sober MP like that!
Putting meaning into the term ‘ political suicide ‘.
Why did the politicians crawl cross the road?
Who cares. Just let them carry on
So it’s now called down and dirty politics?
Two numpties trying out for NZs version of ‘pimp my ride’
Sea level should be about here in ten years.
Smith: “you see folks, tourist drivers aren’t as bad as you say they are or I would have been hit by now.”
Ta for the memories new zealand
“No, no….I can see the boundary peg…. definitely Crown land!”
“Quick. Catch that last Kiwi, we have nothing else left to sell”.
” You try it first Smithy “
Why don’t we do it in the road? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM02WcvlKn0
Housing Minister crosses the line to new low.
Old Morrie nicked on busy road.
Cycle lane becomes psycho lain.
Minister of Environment rescues Tar Seal.
Williamson happy to be to the left of Smith and not as low.
@ repateet
Best collection of captions I have seen.
possum anyone?…where is the sheep truck?
Come on Nick, this is not the best place to play marbles. You are losing yours down the drain.
National test, speed calming measures….
Seriously,,,do we have to get this low to look up Paulas skirt?
National trials new speed bumps…Guaranteed to attract the fastest of drivers.
LOL +1
National Mps, backbones, give way at the most inconvenient time
Ok Maurice give it a few years of evolution, and apparently we get to walk upright……
Ok, Maurice i may be going all out for this PR shoot yet get yr hand out of my arse!
Couple in passing car…..Hey babe did you see that,,,,,two shits trying to hide potholes!!!
You see all this hard shoulder Maurice?
Soon it will be all mine to build houses on,,,all mine and stuff the Maoris…Mine i say.
Now if we build them slim I think wed be able to get at least a few thousand units along this side of the road…and with sea views!!!!!
Maurice has anyone ever told you, you bear bear more than a passing resemble to discredited Rolf Harris? No I cant guess what it is yet Maurice!
Stay perfectly still Maurice,,,,look at the camera, say nothing,,,,and perhaps they will never twig my legs seem to have grown to an inhuman size….
Must be our lizard genes!!!
Phew safe……..at last…..stuff…the rest of them in the floods…
Maurice you pick the oddest place to propose!
+1 LOL!
Shit its the press..Right maurice act naturally…
Tell you what I’m going to get the bugger that super glued my hand to this road.
After huge criticism over the Christchurch re building affair….National unveil their state of the art, earthquake detection unit
I knew this hand would come in handy…
Meanwhile, the assassin sat in a hired 4wd and smiled as he fondled the ponytail that was part of his disguise. He thought of how much easier his job would be without those two troublemakers. Patiently he waited for the passing station wagon to turn the bend and pass out of sight. Then he set his foot down on the accelerator as hard as he could….
Choice!!!!…..lol
yep, cant see any railway here now. We have done a good job we have at destroying our rail network and making sure that we build more roads and pollute our environment with carbon minoxide emissions from trucks and cars sobthe oeople will be stuffed in the head to vote and this way we stay in power with our corruption.
I’ll be the damsel in distress and you can be the hunky corporate banker about to Roger Douglas me!!
Q : why did these two pollies lie on the road?
A : Because they are habitual liars. They do that everywhere!
White Line Fever.
It’s all a part of the cycle of life. These vermin are on the road to becoming roadkill.
Somewhere in Pakuranga…..
‘ Darling Mauri my love, do you think I can get away with putting up some houses inside these two lines?’
‘Sure Smithy my sweetie. Whatever you want! I will go all the way with you my dear’
Its the end of the road for me Maurice!
I can foresee a lot of people pulling out a lot of their catch lines out from storage for this one. Whatever it is, seems like we can’t seem to find a solution to whom to award the best tagline to yet! Haha!