Caption competition
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3:01 pm, June 19th, 2015 - 108 comments
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Ngā mihi maioha. A tremendous thank you to all who commented, supported and read my recent post. In appreciation.First, an update on the Prime Minister’s press conference yesterday with Stanford - rounding up the 3 key messages you may have missed.1. ERICA STANFORD FOR THE GOVERNMENT OF NZ SPREADS MISINFORMATIONEducation ...48 mins ago - Hell no
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- US military-industrial-sports complex.
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- Keep the Vampires From Your Door
I'll protect you from the hooded clawKeep the vampires from your doorWhen the chips are down I'll be aroundWith my undying, death-defying love for youEnvy will hurt itselfLet yourself be beautifulSparkling love, flowersAnd pearls and pretty girlsLove is like an energyRushin' an' rushin' inside of me, ehSongwriters: Brian Philip Nash ...1 week ago - The Odd Couple.
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- Labour Weekend
Stand up all victims of oppressionFor the tyrants fear your mightDon't cling so hard to your possessionsFor you have nothing if you have no rightsLet racist ignorance be endedFor respect makes the empires fallFreedom is merely privilege extendedUnless enjoyed by one and allSongwriters: Eugene Edme Pottier / Petrus Christianus De ...1 week ago - Fact brief – Do volcanoes emit more CO2 than humans?
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Today, news broke that Jeff Bezos, the American billionaire with a net worth of $206 B (NZ $344B), personally vetoed Washington Post’s Editorial Team from endorsing Kamala Harris.That stops the decades-old tradition of the Wapo for endorsing Presidential candidates. And editors have resigned - that includes Editor at large Robert ...1 week ago - Let’s Talk About… Anything.
Can't we talk about anything else but love?Love that launched a thousand shipsPlease! Let's talk about anything else but loveLove that causes war and famineCan't we speak about real estate?Love of wifeWatergate?Love of children!Seasonal fluctuations in the prime interest rate?Love of chocolate, you must love chocolate, everybody loves chocolate, say ...1 week ago - Can you hear me now?
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- Mark Patterson: Farmers understand we have their backs
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The National Government should review its support for Gumboot Friday after unacceptable comments by its leader and champion Mike King. ...5 days ago
- Louise Upston cherry-picks data to punch down on the poor
The Government has very conveniently cherry-picked data from the latest MSD projections to justify its cruel agenda and punch-down policy when it comes to people living in poverty. ...5 days ago
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The Green Party was appalled to hear Prime Minister Christopher Luxon claim we are “doing everything we can” on climate change, while his government does nothing to address emissions in our most polluting sector. ...7 days ago
- Govt Must Clean Up ‘Its Shit’ From Sunken HMNZS Manawanui
Te Pāti Māori is calling out the Government and New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) for their inaction and disgraceful downplaying of the impact caused by the sunken HMNZS Manawanui in Samoa. “We demand the Government move without further delay to clean up its shit from the sunken HMNZS Manawanui in Samoa,” said co-leader Debbie ...1 week ago
- Jamie Arbuckle: Inquiry into Banking Competition
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- Tanya Unkovich: It’s time to start the debate on palliative care as a ‘right’
There is one topic that is the great human leveller, and that is of death and dying. One day, we will all have to face it, and I am of the belief that being able to pass away with grace and dignity is a vital, basic, human right. How we ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour backs Christchurch City Council sanctions on Israel
Labour is backing Christchurch City Council’s decision not to do business with firms involved in Israel’s illegal settlements in the Occupied Territories. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Government driving away offshore wind industry
The Government has created a hostile environment for companies seeking to build offshore wind farms. ...2 weeks ago
- Another step towards Pasifika justice
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- Sanctions Soar, Jobs Vanish – National’s Cruelty Exposed
Te Pāti Māori is enraged at the National government’s ruthless punishment of beneficiaries, all while jobs are disappearing. MSD data shows a 133% increase in sanctions over the past year, with over 14,000 sanctions in just three months. The kicker? The jobs this government insists people should find are nowhere ...2 weeks ago
- Police Perpetuate Siege on Ōpōtiki
Te Pāti Māori MP for Waiariki, Rawiri Waititi, says today’s police-sponsored terrorism in Ōpōtiki is a continuation of the State’s predatory behaviour towards the iwi of Te Whakatōhea. "Ōpōtiki is once again being intentionally targeted and is the direct byproduct of this Government’s 'tough on crime' legislative changes,” said MP ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt cuts school lunches even further
The Government has gone back on its word and cut the full school lunch programme in primary schools after saying it wouldn’t. ...2 weeks ago
- Time to shut down failed Youth Justice Residences
The Green Party is calling for Youth Justice Residences to close, following a protest in which a group of young people spent the night on the roof of an Oranga Tamariki justice facility. ...2 weeks ago
- Tell Luxon to Kill the Treaty Principles Bill
Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Appalling process on three strikes law
The Government is subverting parliamentary process on laws the evidence already shows don’t work. ...2 weeks ago
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The Government’s decision to award a $216 million tax break for Philip Morris’ heated tobacco products reeks of tobacco industry interference and needs to be thoroughly investigated. ...2 weeks ago
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The National Government is treading water on a much-needed review of the Retirement Villages Act, kicking any amendments down the road till the next parliamentary term in 2027. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Serious concerns ignored in Govt’s fast track bill
National’s fast track bill enables the most radical and unbalanced consenting regime in living memory. ...3 weeks ago
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Despite resounding public opposition, the fast-track legislation is being pushed through Parliament with provisions that could have real consequences for people and planet. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Labour supports continuing fight for dairy access
Labour welcomes the National Government’s decision to further pursue our access to the Canadian dairy market under the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP) ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Job losses devastating for Timaru
Confirmed news that the Smithfield meatworks will close is devastating for the hundreds of people who work there, Timaru and the wider region. ...3 weeks ago
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New Zealand First has introduced a Member’s Bill which aims to improve access to palliative care for all New Zealanders, ensuring kiwis have better access to the compassionate palliative support they may need. The ‘Improving Access to Palliative Care Bill’ seeks to guarantee that every New Zealander has the right ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Further uncertainty for Kiwirail as jobs set to go
KiwiRail offering voluntary redundancy to all its staff is hugely concerning given the future of New Zealand’s rail system is under threat. ...3 weeks ago
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Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer welcome today’s ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which found that a Hobson's Pledge advertisement regarding customary marine titles was misleading and socially irresponsible. The two-page wraparound ad, published in The New Zealand Herald, suggested that nearly the entire coastline ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Benefit numbers continue to soar under National
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The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
The site will be off line for some hours.
Yes, we could fit a couple of houses here.
Cant find a railroad track ….but this will do.
Roads of National Insignificants.
^^ My favourite thusfar.
brilliant, mac1.
“Roads of National Insignificants”
Rogues of National significance.
That works very well, Clemgeopin. Nice one.
Local men play chicken, find career as political roadkill.
National Cycle Way defeats tory efforts to throw each other under the bus.
Roads of Nationals pig ignorance
asphalt as insulation.. we can house people in car parks
I am out-standing so I am able to lie down on the job.
“You see Maurice, all this talk of people living in the gutter, it’s actually quite comfortable”.
A great caption! This one wins, IMO.
Fat reptile warms belly on hot road.
Progress on cycleway halted by incompetent obstruction.
You might die ,you say nick ? (Shrug) it happens
When he stands up, just a little nudge
With apologies to Talking Heads….
Nick was the Housing Minister but he still liked his asphelt.
Check it out … two moons!
National MPs lose their footing.
No fluoro, no cones, no signs, no speed restrictions… lucky they have their backs to the traffic, otherwise a driver would have had a plausible defense for a lack of impulse control. But then the folk most abused by this government can’t afford to fill the tank.
Minister’s pride hurt in attempted hit & run.
“Did you get his number, Maurice?”
“No, but he was Smiling and taking a selfie.”
LOL +1
Police look on from a distance as two idiots obstruct a public roadway.
They should have been fined like the port hills cyclist.
Proving we’re untouchable
“Bit further mate, I’m right behind you”
From here Nick and in my experience your head could really roll along way
When John says lie you do it
See, no worries. The whole country is failing to keep left at crucial times.
Tory chicken: who is willing to move farthest to their right?
edit lolsnap augustus
Hit the road Nick and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.
We are really hard men! compared to that grass loving hippy Colin Craig
Nick & Maurice try to commit suicide, because of bullying by journalists.
Key thinks we are two idiots and nincompoops. We want to show him that we are not! not! not! not! not! not! Not even! Nah, nah, nah, nah!
NAAAAAAAAAaaaaahMORRICE..I fuckjn GOT this one *hic.. no worries …wares mi fxfkjn keys …oh ahhh …this is nice. ..jst lemme hav a wee kip..mmmm *mumble mumble ….
Oh choice ..heres comes P.Ms limo.. this is gonna be choice … Look up Nicky … Look up.. wave wave …just lift yr fuckin arm a bit .. ah fuck……look Don’t Move..
.. Hey ! Hi there John! Oh… Nick? Yeah.. I Know… I Know.. look.. if theres Anything I can…call tomorrow? Oh look… Anytime… yep.. I’ll be around …See you!……s’o.k Nicky.. all coochy… num nums… mmm sleepy bye baby…
“Hey Mau, can you touch that colourful big rainbow up there?”
“No Ni, just your beautiful tiny bum down here, love!”
Transport Minister Smith has just closed all cycleways and made them into person rolling lanes. This is based on new research that people side rolling can transport greater numbers than traditional empty cycle lanes.
Conservative Party Leadership Hopefuls Roadshow destroys “Big Gay Rainbow”.
or
Roadway tries desperately to distance itself from undesirable pedestrians.
You know if you’re going to throw someone under a bus maybe the cycle lane is not quite the right place to do it
🙂
Maurice; ” Nick, I’m not sure this is what the PM meant when he told us to lie about the roads”.
well done, potato.
Maurice: There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
Nick: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
Maurice: Aye, and they think they know about social housing crisis!
Maurice to Nick: “The Prime Minister said that you should follow my example and fall down on the job.”
watch this road get destroyed in seconds , everything i touch stuffs up.
Never mind the width Mr Liu, feel the quality!
Just a bit further to your right, guys…
Nick Smith & Maurice Williamson discuss proposal to privatise roading system.
Nick Smith hopes for Suicide by Cyclist, rather than face Judith Collins as PM
Incompetent Nats turn night on the tiles into morning on the asphalt
Goodbye porky pies
Latest reality show – come lie with me – “it’s like a mash up of the odd couple and dancing with the stars with a bit of building renovation all mixed with healthy doses of Game of Thrones humour” says Nick. Maurice agrees, “Yeah, nah, yeah – this show makes breaking bad look like breaking pretty good – Nick and I are fucken all over it yo.
…..Forest and Bird release photographic proof that national pests are on the increase and advice that road users can reduce this threat to N.Z by turning them into roadkill
What’s wrong with being a roadie? I had to be resilient while I was young. (Damn someone else, mac1, has beaten me to the Monty Python touch! But mine has extras! I’ve put in the link so you can see facsmiles of our pollies at a National Party planning session for the social standards of our society.)
Well we had it tough…There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road. ..We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
Well spotted greyshark!
“Just a little further left Nick and that should provide me with an opening…….”
“…and the bedroom would be here…what a view to wake up to….”
M.W. born 1951, N.S. born 1964………Crouching Rabbit, Lying Dragon.
No comment, but what are they actually doing??
Mind boggles Ffloyd. First time I have seen a sober MP like that!
Putting meaning into the term ‘ political suicide ‘.
Why did the politicians crawl cross the road?
Who cares. Just let them carry on
So it’s now called down and dirty politics?
Two numpties trying out for NZs version of ‘pimp my ride’
Sea level should be about here in ten years.
Smith: “you see folks, tourist drivers aren’t as bad as you say they are or I would have been hit by now.”
Ta for the memories new zealand
“No, no….I can see the boundary peg…. definitely Crown land!”
“Quick. Catch that last Kiwi, we have nothing else left to sell”.
” You try it first Smithy “
Why don’t we do it in the road? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM02WcvlKn0
Housing Minister crosses the line to new low.
Old Morrie nicked on busy road.
Cycle lane becomes psycho lain.
Minister of Environment rescues Tar Seal.
Williamson happy to be to the left of Smith and not as low.
@ repateet
Best collection of captions I have seen.
possum anyone?…where is the sheep truck?
Come on Nick, this is not the best place to play marbles. You are losing yours down the drain.
National test, speed calming measures….
Seriously,,,do we have to get this low to look up Paulas skirt?
National trials new speed bumps…Guaranteed to attract the fastest of drivers.
LOL +1
National Mps, backbones, give way at the most inconvenient time
Ok Maurice give it a few years of evolution, and apparently we get to walk upright……
Ok, Maurice i may be going all out for this PR shoot yet get yr hand out of my arse!
Couple in passing car…..Hey babe did you see that,,,,,two shits trying to hide potholes!!!
You see all this hard shoulder Maurice?
Soon it will be all mine to build houses on,,,all mine and stuff the Maoris…Mine i say.
Now if we build them slim I think wed be able to get at least a few thousand units along this side of the road…and with sea views!!!!!
Maurice has anyone ever told you, you bear bear more than a passing resemble to discredited Rolf Harris? No I cant guess what it is yet Maurice!
Stay perfectly still Maurice,,,,look at the camera, say nothing,,,,and perhaps they will never twig my legs seem to have grown to an inhuman size….
Must be our lizard genes!!!
Phew safe……..at last…..stuff…the rest of them in the floods…
Maurice you pick the oddest place to propose!
+1 LOL!
Shit its the press..Right maurice act naturally…
Tell you what I’m going to get the bugger that super glued my hand to this road.
After huge criticism over the Christchurch re building affair….National unveil their state of the art, earthquake detection unit
I knew this hand would come in handy…
Meanwhile, the assassin sat in a hired 4wd and smiled as he fondled the ponytail that was part of his disguise. He thought of how much easier his job would be without those two troublemakers. Patiently he waited for the passing station wagon to turn the bend and pass out of sight. Then he set his foot down on the accelerator as hard as he could….
Choice!!!!…..lol
yep, cant see any railway here now. We have done a good job we have at destroying our rail network and making sure that we build more roads and pollute our environment with carbon minoxide emissions from trucks and cars sobthe oeople will be stuffed in the head to vote and this way we stay in power with our corruption.
I’ll be the damsel in distress and you can be the hunky corporate banker about to Roger Douglas me!!
Q : why did these two pollies lie on the road?
A : Because they are habitual liars. They do that everywhere!
White Line Fever.
It’s all a part of the cycle of life. These vermin are on the road to becoming roadkill.
Somewhere in Pakuranga…..
‘ Darling Mauri my love, do you think I can get away with putting up some houses inside these two lines?’
‘Sure Smithy my sweetie. Whatever you want! I will go all the way with you my dear’
Its the end of the road for me Maurice!
I can foresee a lot of people pulling out a lot of their catch lines out from storage for this one. Whatever it is, seems like we can’t seem to find a solution to whom to award the best tagline to yet! Haha!