Written By:
the sprout - Date published:
3:53 pm, October 1st, 2009 - 57 comments
Categories: bill english, corruption, john key, national, parliamentary spending -
Tags: MPs accommodation rort
Mallard
“you’re a 7 letter word followed by a 4 letter word”
Key “Hold on, why am I not sitting in the Deputys chair?”
Key: “Is that a camera? Hey Bill. Bill. BILL! They are recording this!”
I am pleased to inform you that I have been appointed Attorney-General and Minister for the Public Trust Office.
Dumb and Dumber.
Double Dips.
Doesn’t look good. I wonder how my shares are doing?
“I have in my hand a piece of paper”
Key: “Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me.”
Hah! Hey BLiP that one’s hi-larious!
As if.
As if ..what ?
You could smoke your own farts ?
You could felate yourself
you could be a useful member of society ?
Wow, and I thought I was a juvenile fool.
Key: Ah yes the days of the old school yard. What DID Anne say about Aorangi School again?
Remember I did fight once in Fight for Life, so I know how to trash talk
it is with great regret that I resign my position as Minister of Finance
And so when John said he had a big wad waiting for…well, look, it was a simple misunderstanding. I misheard was all and acted appropriately under circumstances that struggled to deal with my reality
Have you ever tried cleaning up after yourself? It’s not easy!
I never really wanted to do this for a living, I wanted to be a ,,,,,
“I’m s-s-s-so-so-sor-sor-so. I am sor-sor-sr-. Dammit! Fonzie had the same problem!”
Tis not a crime to pinch a penny
BLiP you kill me.
How do you come up with this craaazzzy stuff??
🙂
“oh sure (hic) I’ll resign – eventually…. but look, it’s working, the Nice Man smiles and the punters love us….” ….oh shit!…did I say that out loud again?
Annoyed? of course I’m annoyed , when i get home my house will only be 2/3 clean
heh – current Stuff headline: “Key to view damage”
“Previously a problem to reproduction, pandas lose their interest in mating once in captivity”.
“Previously a problem to reproduction, pandas lose their interest in mating once in captivity’ Unlike me
Actually – the way this post lays out on the front page does a pretty good caption too: “Corruption must never be tolerated”…
” I didn’t get a diploma in milking for nothing”.
“A duck’s quack does not echo, but we keep hearing it”
You might not like me but at least I don’t engage in Disaster tourism
I wish, to tender my…………………………………………
But John said it was OK as long as it was legal!
“Nine years of economic mismanagement! And that’s about all I’ve got to say. About anything.”
Snap: two guys who don’t live in the electorate they represent…
Priceless!
If you don’t sort this mess out soon Bill, we might drop below 50%!!!
Bill: Other highlights of Johns trip were…
John: I leave for 5 minutes and she closes my damn school…Wait a minute why aren’t I saying that speech.
“… and as you can see, I have the Prime Minister’s full support.”
Hey Bill. I know it’s fat, hard and very very long, and that it has produced 6 kids. But it still stretch to anywhere remotely near Dipton.
Exerting a trance-like concentration, the PM almost had the glass of water hovering perfectly over his Deputy’s collar.
(Guess what show *I* was obsessed with as a teen:)
BE: What are you doing, John?
JK: I’m naming aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the stars.
BE: There are no stars, John, that’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.
key:…”you’re gone..english..!”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..’not much longer now..
and i won’t have to put up with you standing next to me..smirking..
..and pretending it is really you who is running the show..”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
. Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
“As I said this morning, to a bloke on the number 3 bus from Dipton, you can’t beat Wellington on a good day. Go the ‘caines! Brother can you spare me a dime?”
Bill: “It’s a fair cop, your honour, but the system is to blame.”
John (thinks): “Hawaii’s only 6 hours from Samoa, wonder if I can fit a holiday into the holiday?
D.D. Statement “I stand here today to announce that unemployment has risen, the current account deficit is getting worse, wages are stagnant and that meaningful, growth is still several years off. The government books are however 32,000 dollars better off than Treasury forecast…”
J.K thinks “gees, Obama DID seem genuinely pleased to meet me. That Letterman is such a funny guy”
Tweedle dumb and tweedle dee
Bill: “I am not a crook”
John: “Yeah whatever. Won’t get ya on Letterman.”
This government operates within the law, and we will continue to do so.
While we make no promises about ethical standards, the way things look is important to our poll ratings, so if there is the perception of corruption we will hand at least some of the money back.
(On explaining why he had been promoted to Attorney General and Minister of the Public Trust Office).
Goff and co… you are all going to be on the opposition benches for a very long time….
[lprent: Read the policy. You’re looking like a mindless troll and if I see any more like this inane comment then I’ll treat you as a spambot. ]
“I did not have a pecuniary interest in that trust.”
“Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?”