Caption contest
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- Date published:
1:25 pm, July 19th, 2011 - 38 comments
Categories: Minister for Overseas Holidays -
Tags: do nothing, pavlova issues
38 comments on “Caption contest ”
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Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our countryâs founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between MÄori and the Crown â and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...1 week ago
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The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te PÄti MÄori are working together against the Governmentâs divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko NgÄti WhÄtua ĆrÄkei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...6 hours ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
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- District Court Judge appointed
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- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
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- Bill reaffirms Governmentâs commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
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- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Childrenâs Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naĂŻve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. âIâm saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...1 day ago
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Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...1 day ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. âThis Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...1 day ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Governmentâs new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. âChildhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...2 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa â it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
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The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Governmentâs expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. âNew Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...2 days ago
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- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. âGang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...2 days ago
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The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.âCommunities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...3 days ago
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The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayersâ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âWhen I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...3 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. âWe need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...3 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âIt is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. âHowever, the reality ...3 days ago
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). âReaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Governmentâs ...3 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 â July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...3 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. âThe latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...3 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. âOur diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealandâs interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,â Mr Peters says. âIt is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...3 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Governmentâs plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. âNew Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,â says Mr Seymour. ...3 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
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- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. âYouth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,â says Mr Doocey. âThe two-day ...4 days ago
- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âIn August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...4 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. âOnline financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...4 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. âI want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...4 days ago
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However, his name remains under wraps as he has already indicated he will appeal. ...3 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal governmentâs proposed social media ban for under-16s has sparked widespread debate, affecting millions of young Australians, their families and educators. But will it actually work? While the aim behind this ban ...3 hours ago - Ant stings can be painful. Hereâs how to avoid getting stung this summer (and what to do if you do...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Robinson, Senior Research Fellow, Institute for Molecular Bioscience, The University of Queensland AG-PHOTOS/Shutterstock With the start of summer just days away, many of us will be looking forward to long sunny days spent at the beach, by the pool, out ...3 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Crosby, Professor, Monash University Chichimaru/Shutterstock Australia has a seriously big ânest eggâ. The Future Fund â our sovereign wealth fund set up in 2006 â now manages about $230 billion. Specifically, its remit is to âinvest for the benefit ...3 hours ago
- Women are less likely to receive CPR than men. Training on manikins with breasts could help
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Stokes-Parish, Assistant Professor in Medicine, Bond University Pixel-Shot/Shutterstock If someoneâs heart suddenly stops beating, they may only have minutes to live. Doing CPR (cardiopulmonary resusciation) can increase their chances of survival. CPR makes sure blood keeps pumping, providing oxygen to ...4 hours ago
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The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Booksâ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Orbital by Samantha Harvey (Jonathan Cape, $26) The slight, superb winner of the Booker Prize ...6 hours ago
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In-person submissions on the Treaty Principles Bill will all be held at Parliament or by video call. ...7 hours ago
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The prime minister says it wasn't appropriate behaviour but that Erica Stanford had apologised. ...7 hours ago
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The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...7 hours ago
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Labour has accused National of ignoring the evidence. ...8 hours ago
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- Gang patch ban: The first 24 hours
The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...9 hours ago
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The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...9 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Winter, Associate Professor in Political Theory, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Getty Images When Prime Minister Christopher Luxon stood in Parliament last week to apologise to survivors of abuse in care, his words were among many fine speeches by ...9 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Treena Clark, Chancellorâs Indigenous Research Fellow, Faculty of Design, Architecture and Building, University of Technology Sydney Once located 250 metres to the east of the Art Gallery of South Australia, the grand beaux-arts style Jubilee Exhibition Building was constructed to house the ...11 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Annette Greenhow, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Law, Bond University Linda George/Shutterstock The ten-year anniversary of the death of much-loved Australian cricketer Phillip Hughes falls on November 27. The 25-year-oldâs life was tragically cut short in 2014 when a bouncer ...12 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephanie Gomes-Ng, Senior Lecturer of Psychology, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Former New Zealand prime minister John Key has three white rabbits painted on his helicopter, a nod to his âmassively superstitiousâ habit of repeating âwhite rabbitsâ three times at ...13 hours ago
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The coalition has "absolutely no intention of listening to the evidence that comes out of their experiment", Labour MP says. ...14 hours ago
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Labour claims Government is âcherry-pickingâ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...14 hours ago - Smoke and mirrors in heated tobacco debate
Labour claims Government is âcherry-pickingâ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in heated tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...14 hours ago
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The Government’s economic adviser is sending a message it doesn’t want to hear – superannuation is increasingly unaffordable The post Treasury bangs the drum on ‘unsustainable’ superannuation appeared first on Newsroom. ...15 hours ago
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A man abused by a former political figure is "immensely relieved" at a government proposal to end secrecy around sex offenders' identities. ...15 hours ago
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There is plenty yet to play out, but the next election is at this rate shaping up as trio versus trio, writes Toby Manhire. A subplot of this weekâs historic hÄ«koi mĆ te Tiriti has been the sight of the three opposition parties presenting a unified front. Te PÄti MÄori ...15 hours ago
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From the low lows of abandon empires to the high highs of a mall done just right. This is the second in the Malls of New Zealand series, where we rank the malls in major centres. Next week: Wellington. A note from the editor: This is the hardest ranking weâve ...15 hours ago
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As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a 27-year-old apartment-dwelling marketing exec explains her approach to spending and saving. Want to be part of The Cost of Being? Fill out the questionnaire here. Gender: Female. Age: 27. Ethnicity: PÄkehÄ. Role: Marketing exec at ...15 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Friday 22 November
The post Daily crossword, Friday 22 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...15 hours ago
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Key practices opening wide and swallowing ahead of his meeting with Warners.
Did Bill bake this? It tastes of bullshit
I said “Let THEM eat cake” but thanks anyway that’s yummy
Hey guys, can I get a doggy bag? I didn’t bring Gerry…
Key gets in some practice for the ‘$30 million a plate’ Warners dinner.
John Key discards any plan to make the cake bigger and concentrates on eating it instead.
đ
Whats with his little finger anyway?
Whats with his little finger anyway?
I am a former member of the working-class who got rich by rorting my fellow countrymen, and rose by fair means and foul to become prime-minister. Part of my illusion of grandeur is the cocking of the little finger when I sup and sip, which is visible evidence of my new-found acceptance into the upper echelons of society. After all, I have had tea with my very dear friend Queen Elizabeth (she told me last time we were together to call her Liz) many times now.
to be utterly accurate, the finger needs to be slightly crooked, relaxed. if you hold the finger stiff, it says to the truuly naice people that you are a pretender trying to emulate your superiors, and failing… or that you are so overawed by being in the presence of the elite that you are unable to concentrate on the finer points of etiquette..
his finger looks about the same diameter as his nostrils… you may have uncovered something here…
“I hate pretending to eat food.”
Once again the fanboys and fangirls from the left post a picture of their nemesis. The man who strikes fear into their loins.
Meanwhile the hapless Phil Goff, The Comical Ali of the left slides deeper into oblivion.
Hit the road, Murray, and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more, hit the road, Murray, and don’t you come-a-back-a no more.
Murray: What you say ?!!!
Hit the road, Murray, and don’tcha come backa no more.
Murray: Oh Baby, oh Baby, doncha treat me this-a-way, I’m happy to admit that I’ve got fuck all to say, and I’m happy to concede that all my shit is Farrar-fed, but I’m begging you Baby please don’t kick me off this thread !!!
Tough shit, Hit the road, Murr, and dontcha come backa no more.
Murray: Well, I guess if you say so, I better pack my things and go.
That’s right, hit the road, Murr, and FUCK-OFF to kiwi-blog.
Murray: WHAT YOU SAY ?!!!!!!!!!
In the twilight glow I see her
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain.
As we kissed good-bye and parted,
I knew we’d never meet again.
Love is like a dying ember.
Where only memories remain.
Through the ages I’ll remember-
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain.
Now my hair has turned to silver.
All my life I’ve loved in vain.
I can see her star in heaven.
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain.
Someday when we meet up yonder,
We’ll stroll hand in hand again.
In a land that knows no parting-
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain.
To be fair I’d say Colonial Viper is the chemical ali of the left
Naah just kidding đ
I hope this is Kosher
Who gives a toss about our inflation rate… I can still afford to have the cream!
Geez I could shit on the table and they’d lap it up I’m so awesum but the CT script says I gotta do this without Bennett around to mop up the leftovers……the things we do eh.
See fran ,I do have gravitas.
There’s a strawberry on this, wonder if it qualifies for a GST exemption? Must check the detail on that.
The picture is in the USA; it is probably an artificial genetically modified strawberry. Plus I don’t think the US tax essentials like food and fuel.
i didn’t know you were a labour supporter kate…. well done! you do have brain after all..
CK I thought we had got past using politically incorrect terms to describe people
“When you have a 50% lead in the preferred-PM polls, you can eat whatever the fuck you like”
e.g. Humble Pie
My mouth was open in the same way with at Warners meeting in Wellington last year but I did’nt have cake in it!
Embarrassed officials watch in horror as Key regurgitates food to demonstrate that National thinks it has a solution for feeding the poor. Back home, Greens dismayed at how some idiots haven’t quite understood their recycling message.
Ok – that has my vote…… urrrghh.
MaĂźtre d’ Ah, good afternoon, sir; and how are we today?
Mr. Keyosote Better.
MaĂźtre d’ Better?
Mr. Keyosote Better get a bucket, I’m gonna throw up.
“Now I know why Hitler would never allow himself to be filmed eating”
Thereâs nothing NZ Prime Minister John Key likes more when heâs travelling overseas alone than to get stuck into a good spread.
Luxury food item on a shopping list.
Fattening? I can provide you with a different nutritionist who’ll say this is a tofu salad!
It got Rupert Murdoch on the telly.
mmmmm, plastic cherries are better than carboard sausage rolls.
“I can’t get this tart past my fangs.”
Even humble pie wont dent this groomed national party ego