Caption contest
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2:24 pm, September 7th, 2011 - 44 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
Tags: awkward, julia gillard
44 comments on “Caption contest ”
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...5 hours ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...7 hours ago
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- Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 22 November
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Key offers Gillard Sandra Gaudie’s token ginga spot on National’s list.
EYE CARUMBA! BLINDING PASH-IN: Gillard loses cornea in “Captain Beaky” nose mishap: “slipperiest lips I’ve ever not felt” Docs: lack of tongue involvement “fortunate due to forked nature”.
On the lips John, on the lips!!!!
It’s okay, I’ve had a vasectomy you know.
LOL!
“Its so hard to smile, wave, and kiss,” mumbled John Key through numbed lips.
Honecker and Brezhnev – redux
John Key reveals a ‘socialist streak’ of his own as Gillard proves too much to resist.
Bring your kneepads Julia???????
New Zealand’s most popular Prime Minister EVER, kisses Australia’s most unpopular Prime Minister EVER. Julia wishes it was Helen though!
Look at moy, look at moy. JK, Look at moy. Now I’ve got one word to say to you… carbon tax
Hahaha.
Im not a journalist John you dont have to pay me for this, you can keep that bottle corked cobber.
Send me a postcard from wherever you are going Julia……
Julia (swerving at the last moment): “Oh no you bloody don’t, Mr Halitosis !”
King John of Charmalot to a t. (BLiP)
John: “Now Julia, there’s no reason we can’t both be adult about this, it’s just a thing I’ve got. I’ve always had this deep, inner need to lick the nostrils of all foreign leaders and dignitaries, not just your’s.”
John: “Julia, I want to slip my tongue in.”
Julia: “Awww, get off the grass, ya bloody mongrel !”
John: “But, Kevin Rudd let me ! In fact, he insisted !”
the kiss of judas
Julia’s thoughts: “Awww Christ !, I don’t wanna kiss this mongrel, but I don’t wanna cause a diplomatic incident either. Awww Geez mate, I feel like I’m up Shit Creek in a barbed wire canoe !”
* Australian pronunciation: “…I feel like I’m up Sheet Creek in a barbed woyer canoe !”
Key offers olive branch of lurve to next NZ Labour leader
John: “Julia, I’m horny, I’M HORNY !, the ladies – they adore me. What are my chances of sleeping with you tonight ?”
Julia: “Awww Geez Mate, how can I put it ? About as likely as me sleeping with David Farrar, Joe Bloggs, Burt, Grumpy or Pete George !”
John: “Oh Christ, you bitch !, you could have let me down gently !”
No, this one’s definitely not a lesbian.
“I always thought that Liz Hurley was hot but a bird in the hand is aksully even better, (though I could get you five lawyers that would tell you differently if I had too)”
I can smell the bullshit on your breath John.
+1
Julia: “Grrrh! What rotten mouth smell John’s got. How does his wife put up with this disgusting stench? I presume she never gets too close to his face and is glad he spends most time in Wellington.”
John: “Well, if it was not for the cameras and required friendly etiquette, I would do all possible to not put my lips too close to this ugly, red-headed, read-hearted, socialist “pecker”. Thank god it is over right away.”
Both afterwards: “NZ and Australia are bound together in their common and shared historic roots, values, spirit and loyalty in hard and trying times. We are looking forward to the RWC and a great game between our best in the finals.”
Godddard To Key
*sniff* I can smell asshole,hmm which one**sniff OMFG youre pregnant and its a hybrid of Crosby – Textor and Ashcroft so its the cheek bitch the cheek
Thought processes:
KEY: “Yeeeehhhaaaaa another photo op ARR ARRR i am KING OF NZ”
GILLARD: “ocrapocrap he’s headin infor a kiss, escape routes? none, fucking media everywhere, turn head to the right ?? OHSHITOFUCK HE’S GONE THE SAME DIRECTION NO ESCAPE ONTHELIPSFUUUUCCKKK wheres my toothpaste/mouthwash/soap”
Wanna trade some emissions? (*Wink*) The poor people will pay too!
The lizard king inserts tongue in the right nostril and extracts the entire contents of Julia’s stomach.
Next time, put a bit of tongue in it.
Talking about a tongue, thank God Helen Clark wasn’t still PM said the mental Ocker bitch as I would now be tongueless
Kissing a wimpish Key would be far safer,just ask Heather or Jude.
The media thought I was trying to kiss ya, but acshully I just wanted to see who had the longest nose. Why did you move ya silly cow?
goin in to kiss julia… nek minut… awkward
soory baby but your key dont fit my front door!
the john, a well known underworld figure delivers the “kiss of death” on behalf of the liberal party..
The secret, Julia, is to
Smile and wave and walk away!
Kiss of convinience, between two pretty faces. Bring back Rudd. Many think Kevin was difficult to work with, kept it within his inner group and did not advance the agenda, but he probably didn’t want to. In reality the the ALP is almost always led by its most right wing remotely sane member. Think Hawke, Keating, Hayden, Lantham and Beazley and Rudd is somewhat furthur to the right than Beazley. Still I like the bob and the bead.
You trying to make it hard for me, Julia?
A couple of PMs sniffing one another out.
Key improving NZ relations with Aussie.
Hopefully Bronagh doesn’t see this!
Key demonstrating what he means by closing the gap with Australia