Caption contest
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1:58 pm, December 10th, 2014 - 85 comments
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The normal rules apply. Keep it seemly …
85 comments on “Caption contest ”
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- Treasury warns deeper recession worsening Budget deficit
The gift that keeps giving: David Seymour has now opened a split in the coalition over the future of National’s promise to build a new medical school. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / TheKakaKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and ...6 hours ago - Weekly Roundup 22-November-2024
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Record Numbers: The Hīkoi mō te Tiriti, which began at the tip of the North, and the tail of the South, on 11 November, culminated outside Parliament on Tuesday, 19 November 2024, in one of the largest demonstrations in New Zealand’s political history.ACCORDING TO TE ARA, the Ministry of Culture ...8 hours ago - The Rush To Blame “The Activists”
Activists are such easy scapegoats. The right and center have been conditioned for decades to roll their eyes at all protests. The left are easily aggravated over students leading movements they see as belonging to grownups, who have more important concerns like the economy and whether the trains come on ...8 hours ago - Cutting Through An Inundation of Dipshit Racists
Hi,Watching New Zealand from afar offers a strange perspective. It can be a good thing — distance from Aotearoa helped keep me sane while I reported on abuse at New Zealand’s biggest megachurch over the course of a year. It helps fuel my silly podcast. But it can also be ...8 hours ago - This is bad news
The speech yesterday by Treasury’s Chief Economic Advisor warning that the books are in worse shape than forecasted looks like it’s part of a softening-up process for either more cuts or a longer wait to get back into surplus. The speech was a highly unusual public preview of Treasury’s Half-Yearly ...10 hours ago - Skeptical Science New Research for Week #47 2024
Open access notables Projected increase in the frequency of extremely active Atlantic hurricane seasons, Lopez et al., Science Advances: Future changes to the year-to-year swings between active and inactive North Atlantic tropical cyclone (TC) seasons have received little attention, yet may have great societal implications in areas prone to hurricane ...19 hours ago - Chicken Kiev
Chatting in the supermarket this morning, I found I needed to lunge for the chicken drumsticks.Coping mechanisms: who hasn’t felt a greater need for them lately?When it all gets too much, I turn to demonstrating handy butchery hacks.It wasn’t that she’d said anything wrong, our friend, not at all. We ...22 hours ago - The year is 2024 and it’s 1984
This is written in response to the highly significant open letter from a group of economists that was today addressed to Christopher Luxon. The year is 2024, and it’s 1984. The country is reeling from a record Olympic medal gold haul, while the globe grapples with the choice of the ...23 hours ago - The IPCA has failed
Back in 2022, RNZ took an in-depth look at the "Independent" Police Conduct Authority and its handling of killings by police. These are the most serious test of oversight, and you would expect the police's use of lethal force to receive the most severe scrutiny. But despite the police regularly ...1 day ago - Thursday 21 November 2024
The Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti arrived at Parliament on Tuesday – the size is being debated but estimates range from 42,000 to 100,000. The Prime Minister is defending not attending due to some of the organisers being affiliated with Te Pāti Māori. The national gang patch ban came into force ...1 day ago - ‘These budget cuts are counter-productive and make no sense’
I spoke to former Productivity Chair Nana this morning about the letter he and a group of other economists sent to PM Christopher Luxon to urge the Government to urgently suspend cuts to spending and investment for the sake of the economy, struggling businesses and the wellbeing of vulnerable ...1 day ago
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- I Love My Leather Jacket
I wear my leather jacket like a great big hugRadiating charm - a living cloak of luckIt's the only concrete link with an absent friendIt's a symbol I can wear 'till we meet againOr it's a weight around my neck while the owner's freeBoth protector and reminder of mortalityIt's a ...1 day ago - Economists call on PM to suspend budget cuts for the sake of the economy
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- The end of policing by consent
National has appointed a new police commissioner. And he explicitly rejects policing by consent: Asked if he subscribed to policing by consent, he said he did not. “I don’t talk about policing by consent. I talk about trust and confidence, and it is fundamentally important that the police have ...2 days ago
- The Treaty Principles Bill: A Who’s Who
David Horatio Waterbed SeymourFringe politician and dweeb transformed successfully by ThinkTank money into a well-oiled soundbite robot.Currently programmed to say: Equal rights for all New Zealanders Equal rights for all New Zealanders Equal rights for all New Zealanders Was previously programmed to say:I am a proud libertarian andI am a ...2 days ago - Kinleith mill closure shows need for industrial strategy
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- 27% of kids going hungry, up from 21% in a year
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This guest post by Tim Adriaansen, an advocate for accessibility and sustainable transport, originally published on LinkedIn and cross posted here with permission. People prefer cars, right? Probably not. Here’s why. Granted, most people in English-speaking countries use a car to get around. This simple reality underpins our transport ...2 days ago
- Young Maori take over
Neither Wellington nor Parliament has ever seen anything like it before. The Police said there were more than 40,000 but however many there were, yesterday’s Hikoi to Parliament was a monumental event. It was almost three times the Foreshore and Seabed martch of 2004 and many,many times bigger than ...2 days ago
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Mr David Seymour crawling up to the ceilingThe sun don't shine the sun don't shine the sun don't shine at allMamma Pappa say you should go to school, I don't know what forNow that I've grown up and seen the world and all its liesSong: Southside of Bombay"Ake, ake, ake" ...3 days ago - Submit to defend te Tiriti!
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- We need to talk about Kevin
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Like everyone else (everyone who wasn't there, anyway), I've spent the morning watching the hikoi march on Parliament. The pictures are astounding: parliament grounds and the surrounding streets are full, and there are still people backed up along Lambton Quay. The police are estimating 35,000 people, and that's a floor ...3 days ago
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In a manner of speakingI just want to sayThat I could never forget the wayYou told me everythingBy saying nothingOh, give me the wordsGive me the wordsThat tell me nothingOh, give me the wordsGive me the wordsThat tell me everythingSongwriter: Winston TongNext Tuesday, the subscription price for Nick’s Kōrero will ...4 days ago - Monday 18 November 2024
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7 days ago - More lawlessness from National
On Tuesday, sick of government stonewalling, the Waitangi Tribunal issued a rare court order, ordering the Minister of Health to release unredacted documents within 48 hours showing its reasoning for disestablishing Te Aka Whai Ora, the Māori Health Authority. The government's response to the lawful order of a court? Yeah, ...7 days ago
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And screamingAre we we are, are we we are the waitingAnd screamingAre we we are, are we we are the waitingForget me nots, second thoughts live in isolationHeads or tails and fairy tales in my mindAre we we are, are we we are the waiting unknownThe rage and love, the ...1 week ago - The Hoon around the week to November 15
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Day One of the Treaty Principles Bill…and everyone got what they wanted, and did what they liked. Heated words were exchanged. Culturally appropriate acts of outrage were performed. David Seymour got to play the victim card. Willie Jackson got kicked out of class. A comically red-faced Mr Speaker bellowed “Order, ...1 week ago
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The government's Treaty Principles Bill is up for its first reading today - bought forward in a rush in a desperate effort to avoid the hikoi which is currently marching on Wellington. But the Prime Minister won’t be there for it – he’s literally running away to Peru! But he ...1 week ago
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Good morning, and I’m sorry I’ve been away for a couple of days.I’ve been focusing on the Hikoi, and also testing out sentiment on the Treaty Principles Bill. It’s complicated, and the Treaty Principles Bill will be debated in the House today. The Government’s own lawyers have told them the ...1 week ago - Government must vote down ACT Members Bill that would undermine workers’ rights
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The State would like to remind you that they are in control. They manage your employment prospects, and can destroy the job market you and yours rely on by mass-cancelling construction projects, cutting funding, and firing a good chunk of our public servants. They wield the mechanisms that provide scrutiny ...1 week ago - The Weight of the World
As the weight of the world Hangs on your shoulders The weight of the world Starts to take over again And over again All that you once loved, now you hate So slowly relearn how to meditate To have and to hold And never let go Can you feel it ...1 week ago - Thursday 14 November 2024
The Treaty Principles Bill is set to have its First Reading in the House today, as the Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti continues. More than 40 KCs have written to the Prime Minister and Attorney-General outlining their “grave concerns” about the substance of the Treaty Principles Bill, while an academic and ...1 week ago
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The Government has passed legislation to remove agriculture from the Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) while Aotearoa’s reputation on climate action plummets. ...21 hours ago - Failed boot camp experiment must end
As legislation to set up boot camps passed its first reading, the Green Party urged the Government to abandon this failed policy experiment for the good of our rangatahi. ...22 hours ago
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The Ministry of Health has today released an evidence brief regarding the use of puberty blockers in gender-affirming healthcare, amid moves by the government to limit access. ...23 hours ago
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The National Government is walking away from our manufacturing sector with constant reports of closures and job losses. ...1 day ago
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Louise Upston has revealed her diminished vision for vulnerable youth against a backdrop of snubbed advice, scrapped priorities, shifted goal posts and thousands more children projected to fall into poverty. ...1 day ago
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National Government’s backward-looking climate policy has seen New Zealand fall seven places on the Climate Change Performance Index to 41 out of 63 countries measured. ...1 day ago
- Release: Simple reason for drop in emergency housing
When the Government says it has reduced the number of people in emergency housing, what it means is it is stopping people from accessing it in the first place. ...1 day ago
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The Government is turning its back on children by not only weakening child poverty reduction targets, but also removing child mental wellbeing as a priority focus in their Child and Youth Wellbeing Strategy. ...1 day ago
- Release: A historic win for Samoan communities
Labour warmly welcomes the Restoring Samoan Citizenship Bill as it passes its third reading, before becoming law. ...1 day ago
- Government plan to reinstate live animal exports a “national disgrace”
The Government has taken a giant step backwards by reinstating live animal exports. ...2 days ago
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National’s repeal of Labour’s smokefree legislation has taken New Zealand further away from achieving a Smokefree 2025 and a smokefree generation. ...2 days ago
- Release: Call for Palestine recognition by NZ, Australian and Canadian MPs
Parliamentarians from Australia, Canada and New Zealand have written an open letter to their respective Prime Ministers calling on them to recognise Palestine. ...2 days ago
- Justice Select Committee opens floor for Treaty Principles submissions
Today, the Justice Select Committee has decided to officially open submissions for the controversial Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 days ago
- Power of the people on full display as hīkoi approaches Parliament
Today, Hīkoi mō te Tiriti arrived in Wellington, with thousands gathering to march in unity against the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 days ago
- Hypocrisy as Te Whatu Ora contractor bill balloons
Te Whatu Ora’s bill for contracting and consulting staff has ballooned by nearly 20 percent under the National Government, breaking a promise they made during the election campaign to cut contractors. ...4 days ago
- Release: Growing pressure to scrap Section 7AA Repeal Bill
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- Government’s move to monetise access to nature a slippery slope
The Green Party is voicing serious concerns over the Government’s proposal to charge for access to public conservation land, released today. ...1 week ago
- Green Party condemns the passage of Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party condemns the passing of the Treaty Principles Bill at first reading, and is clear that the fight is not over. ...1 week ago
- Stand Up for Te Tiriti
Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...1 week ago
- Release: Over 15,000 sign Labour’s open letter to Luxon
As the hīkoi to Parliament continues, Labour has sent an open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in a last-ditch attempt to get him to kill the Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
- Fast Track Bill threatens environment, climate and reputation
The fast-track legislation passing its second reading in Parliament is another step towards environmental ruin. ...1 week ago
- Greens join King’s Counsel in calling for Treaty Principles Bill to be abandoned
The Prime Minister must answer the call from a group of senior lawyers of the King’s Counsel to abandon the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
- Chris Hipkins’ apology statement to state and faith-based care survivors
...1 week ago
- Release: Labour formally apologises to state and faith-based care survivors
Labour joins with the Government in unreservedly apologising for the abuse, neglect and trauma including torture in state and faith-based care and for ignoring the voices of survivors for too long. ...1 week ago
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Today, the Green Party stands alongside the survivors of abuse in state care and faith-based care as the Government issues an historic apology. ...1 week ago
- Green Party calls for conscience vote on Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party has written to the Speaker of the House requesting he enable a personal vote on the Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt move to exclude journalist risks chilling effect
The Green Party is alarmed by the Government’s move to exclude a journalist from covering this week’s apology for the survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care. ...2 weeks ago
- Without action, an apology will be empty air
For tomorrow’s apology to survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care to hold any water, the Government must not pursue the same policies that drove the abuse in the first place. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Concerns remain over tobacco interference
Concerns about the tobacco industry’s ability to interfere in government policy making remain, despite the inability of the Office of the Auditor-General to investigate the Government’s decision to halve the excise tax on heated tobacco products. ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent wake-up call on climate
The Climate Change Commission’s latest advice indicates Aotearoa needs to be stepping up on climate action. ...2 weeks ago
- Green MP’s Meme-ber’s Bill set to save the world
Break out the punchlines and dust off your meme folder: Green Party MP Kahurangi Carter’s Copyright (Parody and Satire) Amendment Bill was pulled from the Ballot yesterday. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Poroporoaki: Ta Robert (Bom) Gillies
Kua hinga te manawa kairākau o Te Rua Tekau Ma Waru Tiwhatiwha te po! Kakarauru i te po! Ka rapuhia kei hea koe kua riro! Haere e te Ika a Whiro ki o tini hoa kua ngaro atu ki te Pō ...2 weeks ago
- Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principles Bill
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- NZ must pursue independent foreign policy
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...1 hour ago
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The Power and The Passion
Oh, sweety, you are poor? Here, love, have a candy cane for Christmas! See, I care!
Just don’t come into a WINZ office in the New Year for a dental grant!
Ahaa you lot. The ladder’s gone. I got it all. You got nuttin.
“Getting booted out of your state house so we can sell it to property speculators? Here’s a candy cane”
“One for every child I pushed into poverty today”
Ha! There’s been a mistake; when I said I’d be caning the beneficiaries I meant something else altogether.
I’ve always got away with everything. Some get a caning but I’m sweet – this is the only cane I ever get.
Have you been good? Santa will give you a present. You bad lazy sods who can’t find work will get nothing.
See! I can handle the big financial jobs in government
I’m all decked out in the colours of the political parties who are actually going to do something about poverty.
“colours of the political parties”
She’s wearing the red, blue and black of the intended future uber betrayal govt (Labour neolibs, Nat, NZF), and the canes are the left of Labour and the GP about to get sucked into oblivion.
I cannot see any blue in her clothing.
Is that ideological blindness? 😉
(her top under the red over thingy is blue)
I read your comment.
I have got around to checking out why my computer made the top look black, using another computer I can see the deep blue.
enjoy them now because next year there wont be any lollies at all
Hello campers, hi de hi – hi de ho
Lols. So very apt. Madame Beenete missed her true calling.
I took them from a baby!
Let them eat candy!
Let them eat cake! What, at that price? Hahahaha cheap candy it is!
Look, I am just practicing what our own Pinocchio has taught us : How to sweetly smile and wave while still dishing out utter crap!
My friend Katharine Rich says this is a great way to get kids to eat greens !
“Sweetie — It’s 100% sugar with toxic artificial colouring and additives and it’s really twisted and it has a hook in it ! What more could you possibly want ?”
(Thus spake the ghost of Christmas past-its-due-by-date.)
sorry these are all …mine!
I’m a complete arsehole, but I’m a happy clappy one!! 🙂
Hey kids! Christmas candy canes for sale!
“They gave me this full bowl of candy canes to hand out to the poor children but I’ve been here for a whole 10 minutes and no poor children have appeared. Oh well, guess I’ll have another !”
Hehehe; Let them eat candy canes…..
“This is the ONLY thing that the rich Chinese donors gave us. Honest!”
More government u-turns coming to you real soon.
You should have gone to Specsavers, Paula. You were told to get meat hooks. One for you, and one for each of your colleagues.
Winz announce incentive scheme to get the unemployed to move to the north pole.
Merry Fucking Christmas New Zealand
this. exactly this.
Nice!
It was so simple stealing this candy from those beneficiaries babies.
i am the mean christmas fairy
here to stop the kids being merry
no presents or turkey for bennies
WINZ will cut off your pennies!
it’s a bit of a laugh to me
and a chance to get on TV
LOL! @bennies cut off pennies. Ouch!
Trick or treat my treats are not very nourishing just covered in 100 % sugar.
Our next PM, promoting a corporate xmas. Because, if you mentioned that Christ wanted a society dedicated to a liberation theology – it might just all go pear shaped for the Tory scum.
“Its true you give out a few of these and they think you give a fuck”
“You better watch out
You better not lie
Like those loony lefties.
I’m telling you why
The SIS are coming to town
We’ll see you when you’re sleeping
We’ll know when you’re awake
We’ll hear every word you say
With this microphone candy cane”
“We sell off their state houses but fool them with some coloured candy to cope!”
I’ve got the goodies, now that Judith is out of the way.
Paula (to journalists): “Actually there’s a hilarious anecdote attached to this. As I was stealing this candy from the Children’s Hospital Ward just a few minutes ago, some little kid got visibly upset and all teary eyed. Well, you know me, I believe in Tough Love – so I was forced to tell her: “Zip it, Sweetie, these are all mine !!! Aunty Paula’s got a sweet tooth, Okay ?????”. Ha, ha, ha, I laugh about it now, but I mean the absolute, bare-faced arrogance of these little brats !!!”
The Grinch revealed after having full bodywax
Oh dear – so appropiate
OMG, why didn’t see it before ? Paula’s not the Grinch. That stare, those eyebrows…. Its Judith !!
Thats not ‘Paula the beneficiciary!’
Yes! It’s Paula ‘the Beneficiary’
“I am just about to go and feed our homeless!”
Everything I touch does this
bennett:..’why don’t benificiaries gt off their fat lazy arses..
..and make something like this..’?..’
bennett:..
‘..these are the staples that were used in my stomach-stapling op..’
bennett:..
‘..so..i said to them..’we don’t have poverty..because we don’t even measure poverty..!..
..it’s as easy as that..!’
..then we all had a good laugh..!’
bennett dreams of being leader..and does a pretend cabinet-shuffle..
This is all you poor people get this year from Bitchyfit
‘Suck on this, you poor suckers!”
Ha, ha! These are bitter! Tricked you, ha, ha!!
Auditions for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang The Sequel, produced a clear winner for the part of The Child Snatcher.
Christmas Tree at back “Christ, Father Christmas has really let himself go!”
Does this red suit make my left hand look really really over sized?
On Three Ms Bennet “Say Liposuctionnnnnn”
Bennett doles out surprising low dividends of the power companies sell off to the public.
Bennett says “Has anyone seen my balls?” Christmas tree responds ” We are behind youuuuuuuuuuuu!”
Bennett.”We are going to move those over sixties who live alone in two and three bedroom Housing N.Z.Homes,into one bedroom community housing clusters more suitable to their needs so we can give families accommodation suitable to them.
‘ITS SO EASY,ITS LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY”.
Let them eat candy
Advice to the poor:
Have some candy to feel more dandy!
You want to feel randy? Yep, have some candy!
We thought these new walking sticks for the disabled are a great idea. Like our health system they are cheap, impractical and won’t work but hey at least you get a short lived sugar fix. And maybe diabetes……
Eat your heart out Judith. JK is giving me all the photo opps now!
Don’t tell anyone, the last budget was heavily sugar coated, just like the candy canes.
Move Over Candy Crush’er there’s a new girl in town, introducing for her own pleasure “Candy Cane”
They have introduced zero contract hours for politicians, so I thought I would moonlight flogging off tooth rotting crap.
” I got these cariogenic Candy
From distant callipygous Burundi
‘Cause we have happily made Redundi
All of our very own good R & D !“
If you are living in pain
or your life savings were flushed down the drain
Let me offer you a candy cane
and a cardboard box to keep off the rain
The Gnats will let problems remain
unresolved, and rig the game
So the rich can take all the gains
while we laugh and drink champagne
Ho Ho Ho
Like stealing candy from a baby
Our next trick is to steal the baby from the Beneficiary.
Monitor them secretly for 24 hours (we wanted 48 hours but those commies in Labour reduced it to 24 hours). If they are deemed unworthy of our taxpayers dollars then we can confiscate the baby or the benefit or both!
It worked so well for those Abo’s in OZ and those dissident babes in Argentina.
That also solves the adoption program too!
Hey John, these hooks are just the thing to pull up ladders!
Your my winner 🙂
” God has blessed you all poor sods
For you’ve survived amazing odds!
Rejoice in our gold star e-con-o-my
For you aren’t yet dead with me-lon-co-ly!
Give shouts of praise for Nats at Christmas time
For I’m dishing you out some candy time.
The chain stores and con-glom-er-ates
May have brought you to your knees;
Low wages, rent and living costs
May have caught you all in a squeeze;
But we still claim rich dudes are real poor
And you sorry lot are mightily rich!”
Let them eat candy.
Hunger Games
Need1 Greed 21
“Who ate all the candy?” Paula moves on from the pies.
My Halloween takings were well up. No costume this year, but scared the bejesus out of everyone by telling them I will be the next PM.