Caption contest
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10:00 am, April 16th, 2019 - 33 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour -
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Keep it seemly.
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- Fact brief – Are most glaciers growing?
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending claims. This fact brief was written by Sue Bin Park from the Gigafact team in collaboration with members from our team. You can submit claims you think need checking via the tipline. Are most glaciers ...9 hours ago - It’s not (just) about the economy, stupid.
In 1992 James Carville, Bill Clinton’s lead strategist, hung a sign on the wall of the Democratic candidate’s campaign office in Little Rock, Arkansas. It had three lines on it to focus the team on the key vote-swinging issues and one of those lines would become so famous it’s turned ...17 hours ago - Let’s Make Things Better
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23 hours ago - Our Thousand-Year Struggle Over Technology and Prosperity
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- An expert walks into a bar
Quiz1. On what study was Mike King basing his assertion that Alcohol is not a problem for people with mental issues. It’s actually the solution ?a. Klein, Sawyer, Chomsky et al; Harvard, 2002b. Black Brown and Bleu; Yale, 1999c. Bloomfield, Verall, Ardern et al, Otago 2022d. Homer, Lenny, Carl and ...2 days ago - The High Court says “Land Back”
Way back in 1839, the New Zealand Company bought the area that is now Nelson from local iwi and hapu. As part of the deal, they promised that Māori would retain their homes, fields, and burial grounds, and that in addition, 10% of the land in the planned township and ...2 days ago - US military-industrial-sports complex.
A US friend of mine wrote on social media about attending a Homecoming football game at her niece’s Red State university. Although the referees stunk and her team lost, my friend said that she enjoyed her visit, especially the halftime … Continue reading ...2 days ago - The Hoon around the week to November 1
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The RBNZ sees the potential for a spike in demand from landlords. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top six things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Friday, November 1: The RBNZ has warned the Government’s tax changes ...2 days ago - Alcohol and Mental Health
2 days ago - Weekly Roundup 1-November-2024
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Hi,Thanks for all your feedback to Hayden Donnell’s fantasy of communal living. “Camping in summer is really the only time I get to experience village life and I love it so much,” said Michelle. “You’ve infuriated me by writing the article that’s been in my head only much better than ...2 days ago - Toxic positivity and toxicity in the kitchen
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- Geoffrey Miller: New Zealand’s breakthrough free trade deal with the Gulf
New Zealand’s new free trade agreement with the Gulf Cooperation Council is a major win for both sides. Todd McClay, New Zealand’s trade minister, announced the long-awaited deal on Thursday with his counterparts in Doha, Qatar. It is a remarkable, yet also surprising sudden success: the genesis of the agreement ...2 days ago - Todd McClay wins breakthrough for women in Saudi Arabia
In a major international breakthrough, New Zealand has negotiated a free trade agreement with Saudi Arabia and other Arabian Peninsula countries, which includes a provision requiring them to uphold the UN Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women. Trade Minister Todd McClay signed the agreement in Doha overnight. The ...2 days ago - Gordon Campbell on America’s fear of foreigners
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- Gumboot Friday’s Founder Says Drugs and Alcohol Is A “Solution”
This afternoon, I turned to the fellow sitting near me and called out:“Guess what? A guy who runs a charity for mental health just said alcohol is a solution!”And his eyes popped out…his mouth opened ajar.That gave me some satisfaction - only because this person has zero care when it ...2 days ago - What can you do about bad journalism?
Day after day of David Seymour being accorded media time and attention like he’s doing this stuff in good faith and advancing these ideas in earnest. Come on. He’s a cosplaying libertarian who is really just a glove puppet for anti-democratic capitalist pigs. Read more ...3 days ago - A collapse in police legitimacy
Last week, the government had a big wank about police raids in Ōpōtiki, crowing about "gangs" and "drugs" and "law and order". Unfortunately the police did exactly the same shit they did in the Urewera terror raids 17 years ago, dragging people off in front of their kids and terrorising ...3 days ago
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Health and safety campaigner Sonya Rockhouse has come out in support of the joint open letter from the NZCTU, Business NZ and others. A new Xero Small Business Insights report shows that small businesses are cutting staff and keeping wages low, while the Salvation Army’s State of the Pacific Peoples ...3 days ago - Today’s Political Roundup – From Health to Self-Certification Risks
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Race hatred cannot stop usThis one thing we knowYour poll tax and Donald TrumpGreed has got to go!You’re bound to loseYou fascists bound to lose.Original Lyrics: Woody GuthrieThere are a lot of things this government doesn’t like. Te Reo - got to go, they said, it’s too confusing for our ...3 days ago - Sumbission: Have Your Say on Work Health and Safety
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- Boldness be my friend
When Nicola Willis gave the annual Finance Minister’s speech to the country’s top public servants last week, what she said must have landed like a bomb. “Now is the time for your best and boldest ideas,” she said at the Institute of Public Administration (IPANZ) event. Coming from a minister ...3 days ago
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- Yer doin it all wrong mate
Reader Jeff Howell is the best kind of social media friend to have. When there's outrage and denunciation needed he’s in there dishing it with verve; and when those storms pass you get happy Jeff, sharing his projects. His projects are awesome.Until a week or so ago it was a ...4 days ago - Out Of Sympathy.
4 days ago
- Two States – But No Solutions.
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...
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- Get in the sea, old mate
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5 days ago - ‘Happy to watch your grandkids grow up in Australia via WhatsApp?’
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- The fourth article of the Treaty
While Parliament struggles with David Seymour’s Treaty Principles Bill, a Christian scholar and some heavyweight mainstream church leaders have developed a different perspective on the Treaty of Waitangi. Theologian Alistair Reese presented a petition to Parliament’s Petitions Committee on Thursday asking Parliament to legislate to recognise the oral agreement “4th ...5 days ago
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- Keep the Vampires From Your Door
I'll protect you from the hooded clawKeep the vampires from your doorWhen the chips are down I'll be aroundWith my undying, death-defying love for youEnvy will hurt itselfLet yourself be beautifulSparkling love, flowersAnd pearls and pretty girlsLove is like an energyRushin' an' rushin' inside of me, ehSongwriters: Brian Philip Nash ...6 days ago - The Odd Couple.
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Hi,I’ll never forget the time the guy next to me on the plane got really angry because the Wi-Fi wasn’t working. Here we were, 40,000 feet in the air, and he couldn’t get Facebook. He was huffing, he was puffing. He was insufferable.I’m constantly amazed you can get the internet ...6 days ago - 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #43
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- Labour Weekend
Stand up all victims of oppressionFor the tyrants fear your mightDon't cling so hard to your possessionsFor you have nothing if you have no rightsLet racist ignorance be endedFor respect makes the empires fallFreedom is merely privilege extendedUnless enjoyed by one and allSongwriters: Eugene Edme Pottier / Petrus Christianus De ...7 days ago - Fact brief – Do volcanoes emit more CO2 than humans?
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- People of Courage & Decency. And Everyone In Between.
Today, news broke that Jeff Bezos, the American billionaire with a net worth of $206 B (NZ $344B), personally vetoed Washington Post’s Editorial Team from endorsing Kamala Harris.That stops the decades-old tradition of the Wapo for endorsing Presidential candidates. And editors have resigned - that includes Editor at large Robert ...1 week ago - Let’s Talk About… Anything.
Can't we talk about anything else but love?Love that launched a thousand shipsPlease! Let's talk about anything else but loveLove that causes war and famineCan't we speak about real estate?Love of wifeWatergate?Love of children!Seasonal fluctuations in the prime interest rate?Love of chocolate, you must love chocolate, everybody loves chocolate, say ...1 week ago - Can you hear me now?
1 week ago - Why Nations Fail
This year’s Nobel awards in economics raise critical issues about the future of the world.I was not alone with high hopes when the Soviet Union collapsed. It has been good to see various nations leave the yoke of the Soviet Empire and move towards liberal democracies with thriving economies although ...1 week ago - All very instructive
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The Waitangi Tribunal has been one of the most effective critics of the National government and its racist, anti-Māori agenda. So naturally, they're sabotaging it with a crony appointment: Former ACT Party leader Richard Prebble has been appointed to the Waitangi Tribunal. Prebble, a Commander of the British Empire, ...1 week ago
- Ghost of a (Mad) Dog
How can that dog be barkin' in the backyard?We ran over him years agoHow can that dog be runnin' by the backfence?We ran over him years agoGhost of a dogBarkin' in the backyardSongwriters: Edie Brickell, Kenny Withrow.I have to say this one caught me by surprise. I had to check ...1 week ago - David Seymour’s School Lunch Provider Has Questionable Record – Including Listeria, Hors...
Yesterday, I looked into Seymour’s school lunch provider and found out it was Compass Group - a group that has had a long list of food quality issues and settled out of court for corruption and bribery of officials.Never mind the food looked like slop - heavy, process laden food ...1 week ago - After years of cover ups and hacks, the truth on gas is out
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- Brown orders motorway building to start before business case done
Kia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top six things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Friday, October 25: Scoop of the day: Oliver Lewis reported for BusinessDesk-$$$ this morning that Transport Minister Simeon Brown ordered construction to start on the four-lane Hawkes Bay ...1 week ago - The Hoon around the week to October 25
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- Skeptical Science New Research for Week #43 2024
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- All the tools we need
Off I went yesterday, me and my little ear robots, to a workshop.Did I hear every word? Reader, I most surely did. Did I have to ask anyone to repeat themselves? I did not, not one single time.Ironically, the subject of the workshop was one that prompts many to cover ...1 week ago
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- Greens call for bottom trawling ban and call out Minister for lacklustre response
The Green Party is urgently calling on the Government to ban bottom trawling, following news a New Zealand bottom trawler caught 37kg of coral in international waters, prompting the suspension of all fishing in the area until 2026. ...2 days ago - Mark Patterson: Farmers understand we have their backs
Spring is here which means the start of the A&P show season. Those treasured community days where town meets country. There's no rural-urban divide here, just a chance to meet up with family and old friends and celebrate all things that make rural New Zealand so special. I'm embarking on ...3 days ago - Release: Funding for Gumboot Friday should pause
The National Government should review its support for Gumboot Friday after unacceptable comments by its leader and champion Mike King. ...3 days ago - Louise Upston cherry-picks data to punch down on the poor
The Government has very conveniently cherry-picked data from the latest MSD projections to justify its cruel agenda and punch-down policy when it comes to people living in poverty. ...3 days ago
- Luxon needs to address the cow in the room
The Green Party was appalled to hear Prime Minister Christopher Luxon claim we are “doing everything we can” on climate change, while his government does nothing to address emissions in our most polluting sector. ...5 days ago
- Govt Must Clean Up ‘Its Shit’ From Sunken HMNZS Manawanui
Te Pāti Māori is calling out the Government and New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) for their inaction and disgraceful downplaying of the impact caused by the sunken HMNZS Manawanui in Samoa. “We demand the Government move without further delay to clean up its shit from the sunken HMNZS Manawanui in Samoa,” said co-leader Debbie ...6 days ago
- Jamie Arbuckle: Inquiry into Banking Competition
This week was the start of the bank inquiry hearings into banking competition. The inquiry was confirmed in the NZ First/National Coalition agreement. 140 submissions were received on the inquiry, and we will hear from over 60 submitters including all the major banks. ANZ, New Zealand's largest bank, was first ...7 days ago
- Tanya Unkovich: It’s time to start the debate on palliative care as a ‘right’
There is one topic that is the great human leveller, and that is of death and dying. One day, we will all have to face it, and I am of the belief that being able to pass away with grace and dignity is a vital, basic, human right. How we ...1 week ago
- Release: Labour backs Christchurch City Council sanctions on Israel
Labour is backing Christchurch City Council’s decision not to do business with firms involved in Israel’s illegal settlements in the Occupied Territories. ...1 week ago
- Release: Government driving away offshore wind industry
The Government has created a hostile environment for companies seeking to build offshore wind farms. ...1 week ago
- Another step towards Pasifika justice
The Green Party acknowledges the historical importance of MP Teanau Tuiono’s Member’s Bill, Restoring Citizenship Removed By Citizenship (Western Samoa) Act 1982 Bill, passing its second reading in Parliament today. ...1 week ago
- Sanctions Soar, Jobs Vanish – National’s Cruelty Exposed
Te Pāti Māori is enraged at the National government’s ruthless punishment of beneficiaries, all while jobs are disappearing. MSD data shows a 133% increase in sanctions over the past year, with over 14,000 sanctions in just three months. The kicker? The jobs this government insists people should find are nowhere ...2 weeks ago
- Police Perpetuate Siege on Ōpōtiki
Te Pāti Māori MP for Waiariki, Rawiri Waititi, says today’s police-sponsored terrorism in Ōpōtiki is a continuation of the State’s predatory behaviour towards the iwi of Te Whakatōhea. "Ōpōtiki is once again being intentionally targeted and is the direct byproduct of this Government’s 'tough on crime' legislative changes,” said MP ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt cuts school lunches even further
The Government has gone back on its word and cut the full school lunch programme in primary schools after saying it wouldn’t. ...2 weeks ago
- Time to shut down failed Youth Justice Residences
The Green Party is calling for Youth Justice Residences to close, following a protest in which a group of young people spent the night on the roof of an Oranga Tamariki justice facility. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Appalling process on three strikes law
The Government is subverting parliamentary process on laws the evidence already shows don’t work. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour calls for investigation into tobacco tax cut
The Government’s decision to award a $216 million tax break for Philip Morris’ heated tobacco products reeks of tobacco industry interference and needs to be thoroughly investigated. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Delay to retirement village review won’t help residents
The National Government is treading water on a much-needed review of the Retirement Villages Act, kicking any amendments down the road till the next parliamentary term in 2027. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Serious concerns ignored in Govt’s fast track bill
National’s fast track bill enables the most radical and unbalanced consenting regime in living memory. ...2 weeks ago
- Fast-Track, off the rails: Submitters show strong opposition to Bill
Despite resounding public opposition, the fast-track legislation is being pushed through Parliament with provisions that could have real consequences for people and planet. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour supports continuing fight for dairy access
Labour welcomes the National Government’s decision to further pursue our access to the Canadian dairy market under the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP) ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Job losses devastating for Timaru
Confirmed news that the Smithfield meatworks will close is devastating for the hundreds of people who work there, Timaru and the wider region. ...2 weeks ago
- New Zealand First Member’s Bill to Improve Access to Palliative Care
New Zealand First has introduced a Member’s Bill which aims to improve access to palliative care for all New Zealanders, ensuring kiwis have better access to the compassionate palliative support they may need. The ‘Improving Access to Palliative Care Bill’ seeks to guarantee that every New Zealander has the right ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Further uncertainty for Kiwirail as jobs set to go
KiwiRail offering voluntary redundancy to all its staff is hugely concerning given the future of New Zealand’s rail system is under threat. ...2 weeks ago
- ASA Declares Hobson’s Pledge Advertising Misleading and Socially Irresponsible
Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer welcome today’s ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which found that a Hobson's Pledge advertisement regarding customary marine titles was misleading and socially irresponsible. The two-page wraparound ad, published in The New Zealand Herald, suggested that nearly the entire coastline ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Benefit numbers continue to soar under National
National’s all pain approach to beneficiaries has yielded no gain as benefit numbers continue to surge past projected figures. ...2 weeks ago
- Casey Costello: What Once Was…
Entering politics is a privilege afforded to very few and, as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Being an MP is a call to service. Whatever your politics you have a duty to show up. Whatever your party's policy, you have made a promise to those who ...2 weeks ago
- Soaring benefit sanctions push more into poverty
Sanctions on beneficiaries have sky-rocketed since the Coalition Government came to power, pushing more families into poverty. ...2 weeks ago
- International Energy Agency issues wake-up call on climate action
Today’s report from the International Energy Agency highlights how far this Government’s actions are dragging us backwards in the fight against climate change. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Lack of funding puts pressure on frontline Police
News that 173 roles are being cut at Police will only put more pressure on the frontline. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Bipartisan agreement on outdated marriage law
Changes to outdated relationships legislation has passed its third reading giving family violence survivors the power to quickly dissolve abusive marriages. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Cuts to Apprenticeship Boost will fail future NZ
The Government’s cuts to the Apprenticeship Boost programme will leave New Zealand without the workforce it needs to build homes, schools and hospitals. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Sluggish economy means struggles ahead for Kiwis
While today’s inflation numbers are good news for Kiwis, there are still struggles ahead with rising rents, rates, insurance and high unemployment. ...3 weeks ago
- CPI figures show rents continuing to soar
Stats NZ has confirmed that higher rent prices were the biggest contributor to the annual inflation rate. Almost a fifth of the 2.2 per cent annual increase in the CPI was due to rent prices. ...3 weeks ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
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A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...2 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
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- Deputy Prime Minister visit to Australia
Foreign Minister and Racing Minister Winston Peters will visit Australia next week. “Australia is New Zealand’s closest partner, and we are pleased to make this second official visit there for 2024 following the first ever Foreign and Defence Ministers 2+2 Meeting between our two countries in Melbourne in January,” ...2 days ago
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- Increased medicines access continues following budget boost
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- New Zealand concludes high quality trade deal with the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC)
New Zealand and the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) have concluded negotiations on a trade agreement that will open up significant opportunities for New Zealand exporters in the Gulf region, Minister for Trade and Agriculture Todd McClay announced from Doha today. Today’s announcement follows significant reengagement with the GCC following meetings ...2 days ago
- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
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Free breast screening has been extended for 70 to 74-year-old women living in the Nelson Marlborough district, ahead of a national roll-out late next year, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today. “Breast cancer is the most common cancer in New Zealand with about 3,400 women diagnosed with the disease ...3 days ago
- Te Māori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board strengthened
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- Affordable housing project supporting home ownership
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- Trade Minister travels to Doha for GCC trade discussions
Trade Minister Todd McClay will hold trade discussions with Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) trade ministers in Doha this week. Minister McClay will meet with all six GCC Trade Ministers, as well as the GCC Secretary General. “This will be my seventh visit to the region this year including two Ministerial ...4 days ago
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- New appointments to the TEC board
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Tēnā koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General – the New Zealand Crown’s Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...5 days ago
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- NZ investing in Pacific disaster preparedness & climate resilience
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- Police to increase presence on Auckland public transport
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- Government funds helicopter replacements
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- Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track becomes New Zealand’s 11th Great Walk
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- New Chief Criminal Cases Review Commissioner
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- Changes to improve building fire safety
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- Germany and New Zealand partner to support agriculture and tackle global emissions
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- New members appointed to the Waitangi Tribunal
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- New appointments to the Local Government Commission
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- Education Minister attending conference in Australia
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The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
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“We’ve taken everything – even that shitty little stale muffin you were looking forward to”
Lol AB
Three rich nobodies don’t realise you’re not meant to eat on public transport
Male models from the trending fashion label “Venal as F*ck” show the new season’s range of identical grey jackets.
Three doughnuts. Oh and some baked goods too.
Spot the banker……taking with both hands!
Nice.
As someone said ‘Let them eat cake’ and that’s okay with me – I consider I’m the most deserving, with lots of cream on top thanks.
Look we’re just ordinary folks enjoying a bit of creamy bun and soon a pie and cup of tea – just jolly good folks like you.
And here are the three leading players in the team touring New Zealand demonstrating their skills at the sport of hoopla.
A less seemly trio could hardly be gathered together anywhere for the purpose of not having something unseemly said about them.
“No Simon, we were joking about hijab, take it off.”
“Nat bus Muffin Friday”…
–Hows your “hole” Stevie?
–Can Bill have a spaghetti and pineapple one?
–Guy at rear needs to spend more time with the missus and kids…
It all seems so long ago and far away…that we/they thought they mattered.
Double dipper
Double dealer
Didn’t fix ‘er
Who chose the material for the bus seats? Max did. Shut up and smile for the camera we’ve gotta shift these muffins Stephie made.
Oh, sorry, Simon, they’re all gone now. How about some crumbs?
And we have a winner 🙂
Used up our 20M of free WiFi, let’s eat. Cheers business in nz no.1.
The baby[ies] on the bus go, “wah, wah, wah!
wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!”
The baby[ies] on the bus go, “wah, wah, wah!”
All through the town.
Simon’s three ugly stepbrothers were real pricks…
Some day Simon all this will be yours bwahaha
“It’s simple Simon keep your pie man, buns are better fare.”
Three wise men.
Funniest one yet!
Bringing cream buns for baby Neve.
Creamed it Muttonbird.
James minority view noted
three huckstereers, Amanass, Atoss(er) and Poortos(ser).
On our way to the Annual Undertakers Conference themed “Balming a Brighter Future”.
So, now we’ve got the icing off everyone’s cake, what’s next, fellas?
Fuck these edibles are good
we’re totally off our faces
we should have legalised when we could
we may have kept our places.
The bus boys at smoko time.