Closing the gap
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- Date published:
2:00 pm, July 23rd, 2009 - 13 comments
Categories: humour -
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I take it all back. Key really is a genius! I didn’t think he could do it, but I underestimated him. Under his leadership, the country has closed the gap with Australia.
By 30 centimetres.
“Massive New Zealand quake moves country West”
— r0b
13 comments on “Closing the gap ”
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Kia ora koutou katoa. Nau mai, haere mai, piki mai. Ki te mihi atu ahau, ki te manwhenua nei, Te Atiawa, Ngāti toa rangatira, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you, Andy, for your introduction. Let me acknowledge you as the new Chief Executive of the Social Investment ...2 hours ago - Minister of State for Trade heads to Brisbane for PACER Plus meeting
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The coalition Government has awarded scholarships to six tertiary students as part of efforts to boost on-the-ground support for farmers and growers Agriculture Minister Todd McClay and Associate Agriculture Minister Andrew Hoggard announced today. “We are reducing the regulatory burden on farmers and growers and providing support to adapt and innovate, ...2 days ago
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Mr Speaker, as the Minister for Children, it is my priority to ensure that children and young people in the care system are safe. The thousands of survivors who shared their experiences with the Royal Commission have been clear that the system must improve its protections against abuse and neglect. ...3 days ago
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Changes to the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989 included in an Omnibus Bill are long overdue and a positive step in the right direction, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. As part of the National Apology today, the Responding to Abuse in Care Legislation Amendment Bill had its first reading. “I am ...3 days ago
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New Zealand and Chile have reaffirmed their strong partnership, including on security, trade, Antarctic issues, and people-to-people links, says Foreign Minister Winston Peters. “Chile is one of New Zealand’s closest and most like-minded partners in Latin America, and it is the gateway to the region for many New Zealanders,” Mr ...3 days ago
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Kia ora. Tēnā koutou katoa. And greetings from New Zealand. Thank you to Rector Devés and the University of Chile for hosting us today, and to Undersecretary de la Fuente and Professor López for the warm welcome and introductions. When a much younger person, walking on a bridge ...3 days ago
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Ngā kura mōrehu, Treasured survivors, kua ngaro, haere atu rā. those that have passed, farewell. Ngā kura mōrehu, Treasured survivors E whakawhaiti nei that have gathered here. Kei ngā rangatira To the esteemed leaders Tēnā koutou katoa. Greetings. I’d like to welcome you ...3 days ago
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Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has apologised to all New Zealanders who were abused in the care of state and faith-based institutions. “This is a significant and sorrowful day in New Zealand,” Mr Luxon says. “Today, I am apologising on behalf of the Government to everyone who suffered abuse, harm and ...3 days ago
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Climate Change Minister Simon Watts will attend the 29th annual United Nations Climate Change Summit (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan, this week. “New Zealand is fully committed to meeting our climate targets and reducing the impacts of climate change. Every country has a role to play, and New Zealand will continue ...4 days ago
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Me mihi ngakaunui ki a Tā Robert Gillies e ngaro nei ki tōna nui o Te Rua Tekau Mā Waru. Farewell to Sir Robert Gillies of the 28th (Māori) Battalion. The Government will provide $20.3 million in funding to improve two sites that have a special place in the hearts ...5 days ago
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Minister for Mental Health Matt Doocey today opened Te Waka Aorangi Child Wellness Centre at Tauranga Hospital, marking a significant milestone in the Government’s commitment to enhancing the health of children and whānau in the Bay of Plenty region. “Te Waka Aorangi is leading the way by providing a ‘one-stop-shop’ ...7 days ago
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .entry-title { font-size: 1.2em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles .entry-meta { display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; align-items: center; margin-top: 0.5em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .entry-meta { font-size: 0.8em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .avatar { height: 25px; width: ...7 hours ago
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lol – you’re awesome r0b
Very kind – but some Standardista editor improved my contribution, gave it the proper punch line (thanks for that!).
LOL
thats 30 cm closer than his predecessor managed.
Im waiting for the warmer climate
Of course Aunty Helen would of consulted Maori first to see if we had really moved 30 centimeters.
Finished interviewing your sphincter?
Nice one r0bbie!
Bizarroid, eh what? After sinking Labour’s “closing the gaps” with his disgusting and blatant hatemongering, our decrepit gentleman serial adulterer’s back for another huge gorge on the hard-working taxpayer as gap-closer-in-chief!
Quite frankly, like all decent right-minded kiwis, I’m fed up with all these special privileges and hand-outs for NZ businessmen based purely on footy-jersey colour: aren’t we all born with the same opportunities? This is pure separatism and nanny-statism at its worst, the sooner we get rid of that chutney ferret Keys and these arrogant corrupt communists the better.
Man I’m happy. I’ll be getting my block of cheese in no time.
Only 44 million years and we”ll be right alongside. Can’t wait to shake hands with my Aussie neighbours over that ditch. Ha, anti-spam word is ‘interfaces”. Spooky.
He didn’t need it any closer mate … he can walk there 🙂
Heh! (Actually – I’d pay good money to watch him try!)
Great post. Must be all of the clueless hot air triggering fault lines.
Roughly 2000 km between the two countries…. so we just need another 6000 earthquakes and we’ll be there. Maybe this is Mr Clueless‘ secret plan?