Written By:
Anthony R0bins - Date published:
9:47 am, May 17th, 2013 - 82 comments
Categories: budget 2013, humour, john key -
Tags: devil beast, jumping the shark
Guess you missed the bit where it was actually Labour who mentioned that first.
Yeah right. Link please…
Watch the speeches.
I did. Link please.
breaking news
internal polling shows the chimp is ahead for replacement of National Party leader
Baiting the chimpanzee seems a little cruel – hardly a “beast”, at least no more than humans are. They have a lot in common with us and our current political structure, especially that under “neoliberal” capitalism and the NAct’s anti-democratic diversion machine.
Sounds so much like our PM. [PS: the alpha chimp, I mean]
there is a relationship between “hindquarters” and the emphasis placed upon female breasts in Western culture; funny, I wanted to draw attention to that almost a year ago, yet I didn’t want to offend any persons; yet It is a fact, same with lipstick; oh to be ignorant aye!
Even worse than that it seemed that the Chimpanzee was on his own, which is not the way the live, like Humans,. they crave the company of their own Kind.
But yes I imagine that even he could do better than Key English and Joyce put together.
That video makes me hate zoos even more than I already do.
True dat. But it does also remind me of Parliament.
I was recently in Japan and they have a TV show where they bait chimps. The person who can keep the fruit away from the chimp the longest wins (or so it would seem, I don’t speak Japanese).
It was pretty cruel.
No wonder the apes are in a foul mood when Taylor returns to Earth two thousand years in the future. Go Dr Zaius, is all I can say.
Among the large departments, the Health budget was up 2.2 per cent to $14.11 billion, Education was up 8.5 per cent to $2.39 billion and Transport rose 5.9 per cent to $1.97 billion. The Defence Force’s funding was trimmed by 4.6 per cent to $2.29 billion. The DPMC’s budget, however, rose 18.2 per cent to $22.08 million, while Tourism got a 39 per cent increase to $128.78 million.
Last month, Mr Key announced a $158 million package over four years to attract more visitors to New Zealand, including “high-end” visitors from emerging markets and big spending business conventioneers.
But the Government Communications Security Bureau, which Mr Key also oversees, has had a 15.5 per cent or almost $10 million cut. Also under Mr Key’s watch, the Security Intelligence Service had its funding increased this year by 9.8 per cent to $37.7 million.
tracey. Keith Ng has an interesting post on Public Address. Interesting because of the interactive data on the Budget (over halfway down his post) and the option of supporting investigative journalism.
Worth a look. http://publicaddress.net/onpoint/budget-2013-bringing-down-the-house-prices/
and the interactive Chewydata Visualisation here: http://chewydata.com/budget2013.html
DPMC Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet
$158 million over 4 years – to attract more visitors to New Zealand, including “high-end” visitors from emerging markets and big spending business conventioneers. How long is it going to build the Auckland convention centre and Queenstown building?
“Also under Mr Key’s watch, the Security Intelligence Service had its funding increased this year by 9.8 per cent to $37.7 million.”
Wow, it boosts my self confidence, seeing the SIS get so much more to keep an eye on persons like me. I never knew I was such a “threat” to New Zealand, or rather the present government.
And while the SIS will in future be able to have GCSB do more work for them, that means they will be more effective in tracking internet traffic and what else needs to be “watched”.
Thanks ianmac
Devil beasts ay? The real devil is a liar, and the father of lies, and John Key certainly holds the pitchfork in that area.
Key’s political rhetoric:
Don’t vote for North Korean Communist Devil Beasts!
This dated mid 20th C Red Baiting political strategy to groundlessly demonise the opposition, demonstrates a government that cannot rationally defend its own policies.
Imperator Fish on Sherlock Shearer:
I still haven’t been able to figure out whether Key’s, er, unusual outburst was:
a) a metaphor I don’t understand, or/and
b) a metaphor he doesn’t understand, or/and
c) a genuine expression of some deep-rooted fear born of his strongly held jewish/christian/atheist beliefs.
Either way, it was just weird. It’s the kind of thing you might hear from a televangelist, a religious extremist, an medieval peasant, a cult-member or a southern politician in the U.S.
It’s not the kind of thing I’ve heard from a kiwi before. He’s not like a kiwi. He’s not like us. He’s something else entirely.
5 years as PM and we still have to admit that we really don’t know that much about Key.
It seems to me to be an obvious code designed for his waiting minions – expect trouble, big trouble and maybe even bigger trouble especially from the reptilian shapeshifters – those fuckers like trouble!
It’s written into the speech, clearly by the speech writers:
Strangely, they have re-written the story.
“It’s not the kind of thing I’ve heard from a kiwi before. He’s not like a kiwi. He’s not like us. He’s something else entirely.”
I also find it most suspicious that Key doesn’t conform to what Felix believes a kiwi should be like.
Attacking the messenger is the best you can do? How about addressing the point?
@ TC
This wasn’t some throw-away remark in the heat of Question Time. It was a carefully, comprehensively scripted metaphor embedded into the heart of a major formal Parliamentary speech.
felix raises a really interesting point. Where did this metaphor come from? And why would Key use it like this?
Because at a literal level you are right; Key is a kiwi therefore anything he says or does is by definition ‘kiwi’ … but from a cultural, historical perspective I really can’t recall any senior NZ politician, or any public figure for that matter, indulging in anything like this ever before. In that sense this outburst isn’t kiwi at all.
Yes. We really don’t know John Key at all. Do we?
I imagine the source material was actually supplied by a non New Zealander, or it was cherry-picked from an overseas political diatribe finessed to fit in to a NZ context.
Can you OIA source materials for prime-ministerial speeches? Could provide some fascinating international linkages. Lord Ashcroft comes to mind.
You sound like those conservative pundits who accuse Obama of being ‘un-american’ and a threat to their way of life.
“He is not one of us. His outburst isn’t kiwi at all.”
The Standard on Hannity level.
But you don’t disagree that it’s an extremely unusual metaphor and source for a NZ PM to use?
I like how you bring “Hannity” into a NZ context, we’re saying that is exactly what has happened.
Next he’s going to accuse us of xenophobia.
Cos you know, pointing out that it’s unusual for the New Zealand PM to be deliberately inserting memes from a very different cultural context into our political discourse is, like, anti-biblical-literalist or something.
“pointing out that it’s unusual for the New Zealand PM to be deliberately inserting memes from a very different cultural context into our political discourse”
You know Felix, I have a grudging respect for you on a personal level, in real life we’d probably be friends (in some aspects we already are) but that is just fucking dumb.
Do please explain what a proper NZ PM should sound like. Should he/she preface each statement with “yeah, na”?
If Hone Harawira were to quote from a Native American would you comment on him “deliberately inserting memes from a very different cultural context into our political discourse”?
Don’t be a mutant. Deconstructing language is not your forte. Stick to vodka and guitar work. Chomsky you are not.
I didn’t say anything about what a proper NZ PM should sound like. You’re misrepresenting me, and poorly.
I’m comparing Key to what other kiwis do sound like. And in this case, they don’t match.
Of course if I were that far off the mark you’d probably be giving examples of other hellfire and brimstone in parliament by now.
“I’m comparing Key to what other kiwis do sound like.”
And what do they sound like?
You sound like these people:
http://www.conservapedia.com/My_Muslim_faith
It’d be relatively easy to prove I’m way off the mark if you really believed it.
Yes but you first need to define what a real Kiwi PM sounds like.
“Not what Key said” isn’t a very efficient starting point.
No, I don’t need to do that at all.
I’m taking it as read that most of us don’t go around screaming that our enemies are Devil-Beasts.
I’m taking it as especially read that Ministers Prime are especially not in the habit of doing so.
Feel free to dispute either of those opinions any time you like, but I again I note that you haven’t disputed them yet.
Well, you do I’m afraid.
Please enlighten us with “what other kiwis do sound like” and how Key is so different.
Don’t be afraid.
And no, you’re the one going on about what “real” kiwis do or say, not me. I haven’t gone there and I don’t intend to.
“you’re the one going on about what “real” kiwis do or say, not me.”
Ok….
“I’m comparing Key to what other kiwis do sound like.”
huh. Weird.
Yeah, it’s weird alright. I haven’t said anything about “real kiwis” but it’s all you want to talk about.
ps it’s polite to leave quotes with the emphasis intact, otherwise it looks like you’re trying to alter the context.
Wow, really? An ‘unusual metaphor’? You’re right, no REAL New Zealander would say something like that.
http://www.hark.com/clips/zywbkylhnq-no-human-being-would-stack-books-like-this
Whatever TC. It’s highly unusual in a NZ context, particularly in a NZ political context.
I note you haven’t actually disputed that at all.
See above, sweet-pea.
a friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better
Checked above. Don’t see anything to suggest that Key’s demonic imagery is anything but highly unorthodox in NZ politics.
I could be wrong of course, but you haven’t shown it.
“demonic imagery”
You have long arms, my friend. How far can you reach?
Wonder. who is Key and his ‘speech-writing’ masters channeling, felix.
Ah I see, we’re now in your contrarian universe where repeatedly yelling “Devil-Beast!” is not employing demonic imagery.
Goodo.
Any chance you’re going to engage with the idea that Key’s demonic imagery is very unusual in our culture, particularly in our political culture?
Your arms are longer than I thought.
Would you do me the service of coming out and saying which bits you disagree with?
For example, if you don’t think that repeatedly yelling “Devil-Beast!” is employing demonic imagery, say so.
Then we know where we’re starting from. Of course that’s assuming you’re interested in discussing this in good faith and aren’t about to suddenly remember that you’ve got to dash off.
“I also find it most suspicious that Key doesn’t conform to what Felix believes a kiwi should be like.”
Don’t be a dick TC, I didn’t say anything about what a kiwi should be. Key can believe in whatever monsters and demons he likes, I don’t give a fuck.
The weird bit, and the bit you’re trying so hard to avoid discussing, is that he made it a central focus of a major speech in our parliament, as Prime Minister.
A turn of phrase I haven’t heard before! How dare he, no NZer would say such a thing!
I know that’s easier for you than engaging with what I actually wrote, but it’s still lazy of you.
Bad Contrarian.
Bad Boy, Bubby.
Shonkey is Hawaiian/USA citizen. He is definitely not one of us.
His moral compass was fixed on Wall Street not New Zealand.
That is why, as Minister of Tourism, he holidays at home, in the USA.
Come to think of it, has anyone even seen Key’s long form birth certificate?
What’s happened to you lately, turned off your brain? The idea is that the PM is sourcing political ideas and content from offshore. Surely you cannot be shocked at that?
Of course not, that’s why he has to make shit up to be shocked at.
Re Key not behaving or speaking like a “Kiwi”, I am astonished to hear this. He was raised here, born here, I believe, so while he may have had a Jewish mother and an English father, what does it necessitate to be a “Kiwi”?
There are many from different backgrounds, who came and come here as migrants, and yes, some are very “different”. They may adhere to their various cultural backgrounds and customs and whatever.
John Key may not fit the New Zealander stereotype, but as much as I dislike him, I must concede he is a rather smart operator (for the wrong cause). He has some problems with speaking and pronouncing certain words, but so do many others.
As for those pre-occupied with criticising Key for not being the traditional “Kiwi” they may think he should be, perhaps start dealing with him the same way he deals with most of us?
Fight fire with fire, and put aside your meekness, respect for those that may not deserve it, and call the kettle by what it should be called as.
His “devil beast” comments are of course bizarre, but perhaps think out something matching that man’s extremism and rudeness, and deal it out to him in like manner.
There were many speeches held after the death of Parekura Horomia, rather dignified and respectful in Parliament, but the day after many MPs exposed their true natures again, ripping into each other. Is that the “Kiwi” way, I ask? What is the “Kiwi” way, I am urged to ask every day, as there are so many varying interpretations as to what that may mean.
When drunk many Kiwis talk in manners unbecoming, and that makes them no different to any other person from anywhere else. Perhaps move on to the presence and even future?
Good call, xtasy (though I disagree with the insinuation Key is a drunk – evidence required and all that).
The Contrarian – I was not suggesting that Key is a “drunk”, I only raised the thoght that any Kiwi, or any person from any other country, can behave rather foolishly or bizarre when under the influence. Yet it is my impression that John Key does quite like a good few beers and else at times. But that is another story.
Labour will get nowhere with starting to portray Key as a drunk, that is for sure, as such matters would only be side issues. Policy and performance matter, more than anything else, and I wish Labour would start getting that in order. I am left waiting, like many others.
He’s totally a pisshead.
ps Labour aren’t coming to the rescue, xtasy. Don’t hold your breath waiting.
“He’s totally a pisshead.”
Yeah, fuck shit like “evidence”. That is just dumb
Only if you don’t know what “evidence” means.
There’s plenty of evidence available. Draw your own conclusions from it.
xtasy, I agree that the “Devil-Beast” comments were bizarre, but they’re only bizarre in the context of NZ culture.
In other parts of the world, and other debating chambers, they’d be far more mainstream. Here, they’re extreme and quite bizarre.
I don’t think there’s anything controversial about that observation.
How about “House Niggers”? Would that be bizarre in the context of NZ culture?
In the context of NZ race relations? Yeah, bit weird.
But in the sense that it offended people, it’d be just as offensive anywhere else.
Key’s hellfire and brimstone is weird and out of place here but would be run-of-the-mill in parts of the U.S. political discourse.
So tell me your benchmark for judging this against. What does a normal Kiwi sound like?
“So tell me your benchmark for judging this against.”
Try as you might, I’m not going to place a value judgement on Key’s worth as a person vs any other person or group of people.
I’m simply making the comparison between Key’s bizarre rant and, well, pretty much every other piece of NZ public discourse I’m aware of to date.
I’ve never heard anything like it. Have you?
Unless you can explain what you consider to be what a real NZer would say then we can assess it.
So what benchmark are you using?
There’s no benchmark for “real NZer” because I haven’t mentioned any comparison between Key and a real NZer.
The comment you replied to explains very clearly what I’m comparing with what. Care to address it?
felix – The reason for Key coming with such extreme comparisons may also lie in his cynical approach that he applies generally, and also has he spent some time in other places, like the UK, the US and Singapore, where life and social interaction may be different to what is still respected by many in New Zealand. Singapore would not be so relevant, but the hard working environment in merchant banking in the key financial hubs of the globe, like London and New York, they would “harden” anyone who works in such jobs, and who did work in roles as Key.
So yes, you got a point, but Key has that background, and he carries his conduct and views into his homeland, as he is a rather “cosmopolitan” operator, with a second home in the US, in Hawaii, that is.
Sometimes I wonder whether he only considers his commitment to New Zealand as rather a part time commitment, having set up home on other places, and commuting between his estates in Hawaii, London and Auckland.
If Sheaerer for Labour would not stuff up so much, and have a bit more solid convictions and integrity, I would give him trust, surely more than Key, but sadly Shearer has so far disappointed.
And with that, Key is having an easy game with the opposition. It is sad and shocking.
I think the really strange thing here is that Key always tries to conform to the ‘ordinary New Zealander myth’ – you know, pragmatic, no-nonsense, commonsensical, rugby-loving, radio live chattering, barbecuing, male NZer – the kind of identity myth just about every people have about themselves.
Yet, here, he just tosses that mythology aside and adopts a completely different identity. I’ve had some pretty weird conversations with wide-eyed people who talk about devils and the like at barbecues and other events, but they tend to be the people that the builder-blokey types at the same events point their beer bottles at and knowingly shake their heads.
Why has he (or his speech writer) done this rhetorical shape-shifting away from ordinary blokedom?
Yeah I think that’s what’s at the heart of the jarring effect of his words – there are two versions of John Key in the speech and they can’t both be real.
It’s almost like a simple outsourcing error. But then, the fact that he would go along with it shows how disconnected he is from the rest of us.
I wasn’t aware that Bill English was “the envy of the Western world“.
But if Key says it, then I guess it must be true.
I wouldn’t be impolite enough to ask him for the evidence of such envy, of course.
And this metaphor seems extremely strained. What is this ‘mystery’ that he believes Shearer and Norman are trying to solve?
Does Key really think the notion of the ‘devil-beast’ or, more correctly, the ‘Devil’s beast’ is metaphorical of something Labour and the Greens are doing?
The Baskerville hound was, supposedly, set onto the Baskerville line by the Devil, after a Baskerville affronted the Devil somehow or other. I suppose their could be a mystery around whose work Bill English is truly doing (That is, assuming English is the ‘beast’ who has been set upon us, then who is the ‘devil’ behind him?). And, like the mythical hound, English does not need to know or care who his master is – he just gets set on his master’s enemies because of his nature (ideology).
If that is the interpretation we are meant to take from the metaphor, then Key’s claim that Labour and the Greens are the ‘Devil’s beast’ raises the parallel mystery of who Key thinks is the ‘Devil’ behind the work of his own nominated ‘beast’ (i.e., Labour and the Greens).
Is our Prime Minister a conspiracy theorist? He at least seems to think Shearer and Norman are conspiracy theorists on the basis that they have criticised English’s budget. But, even more clearly, Key himself seems to be a self-confessed conspiracy theorist given that he claims that Labour and the Greens are the ‘Devil’s beast’. That is, they have been set upon New Zealand (to roam our moors, as he puts it) by some dark force that controls them.
Does Key really believe that?
Or does he just need a new speech writer?
‘Fruit’ is definitely meeting ‘loop’ in this speech.
Kiwi kids ♫ Are fruit-loop kids ♫
Nah, doesn’t feel right either.
Puddleglum: The “western world” and their various populations would in their vast majorities not even know where New Zealand is to be found on the world map. Many would think it is a state of Australia, or some land in the Netherland Antilles, perhaps.
Yes, it sounds a bit silly, but that is actually the reality. Having lived outside of New Zealand I can tell you in all confidence that this is the way things are.
In Europe some may know about New Zealand, but they rarely ever hear and read about what goes on here. In the US it is likely to be worse, as many US citizens would not even know where Wyoming is. So there you go. Try China or Japan in Asia, the picture will not be much different.
When Key goes on like this, he is taking above all his own compatriates for a huge ride into fantasyland. Bill English will be less known than the country he lives in.
But as I learned also, you can tell a fair number of New Zealanders anything, and they would believe it, as most have not had much of an OE or experience of what goes on in the rest of the world.
Just look at TVNZ or TV3 and their news. Prince Harry is what matters, not what happens in the Middle East, in the rest of Europe, Africa, Asia or other places, unless it is some rare headline story like the building collapse in Dhaka in Bangla Desh.
Out of mind and out of sight, and when you have such poor, yes appalling media reporting, then you can as PM and government minister get away with almost anything, that you claim.
Key would not have a shit show to be a PM in any of the major economies this country trades with, that is for sure. Only in distant and little New Zealand can a PM get away with the BS claims he makes. Sad this is, really, but you cannot blame people that are not informed. So they vote accordingly. It is the blind leading the blind, in some ways.
Vote Devil Beasts in 2014.
Key is channelling Brian Tamaki?
AFAIK God hasn’t changed his policy on smug rich bastards …
Thank you for this.
You’re welcome, the Bible is pretty tough on unjust rulers, exploiters and such.
Leaving aside the primitive (sexuality and stoning) stuff there are some beams of inspiration…