Transcript Contest: Johns’ Magical Teapot Tapes
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- Date published:
7:31 am, November 15th, 2011 - 26 comments
Categories: act, election 2011, humour, john banks, john key, leadership, national, parody -
Tags: teapot tape
John: “I hear you might be able to get your hands on something to get me through the Election?”
26 comments on “Transcript Contest: Johns’ Magical Teapot Tapes ”
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Just give me a couple of weeks, I’ll have a word to someone important.
JK: Oh, by the way, if you’d really like to know, he went that way.
JB: Who did?
JK: The Don.
JB: He did?
JK: He did what?
JB: Went that way.
JK: Who did?
JB: The Don.
JK: What Don?
JB: But didn’t you just say – I mean – Oh, dear
.
JK: Can you stand on your head?
JB: Oh!
.
~ later:
The Don: [singing] I’m late / I’m late / For a very important date. / No time to say “Hello.” / Goodbye. / I’m late, I’m late, I’m late
Does anyone else remember the strong rumours circulating before the ‘Newmarket tea party’ suggesting that a scandal was about to blow over some dodgy dealing involving Banks? Maybe mention was made on the tape, and maybe a coded assurance sought? Would be dynamite if it was? How else can the massive over-reaction be rationally explained?
JK: So, what’s this I hear about Hone having you in the bag, Banksie?
JB: Just tell him to P off, John. By the way, I know you have a cat, but do you have a dog? I prefer labs, myself.
Very good.
JK – hey, your name is Banks, I like Banks, Banks make me money, another Banks I am now friends with!
That rumour is completely unrelated to the tea party.
JK: T is it JB, not your normal letter of preference
JB: Ha very funny JK, you couldn’t hook me up could you
JK: relax, after nov 26 you’ve got 3 years of whatever you want, look at what |Rortney got up to
JB: Can I be mayor ?
JK: um err maybe how about law and order
JB: Nope had that last time, too hard JK
JK: has it’s advantages in taking care of certain aspects of ones past
JB: nope not getting your drift, maybe write it down
JK: geesh JB maybe there’s a pen in your black stash case there
JB: That’s not my stash case, thought it was yours.
JB/JK: uh oh
Banks: Hey JK, really appreciate you doing this for me mate, I was getting a bit worried there for a bit.
Key: No need, Banksie. Epsom voters are gullible fuckwits who’ll vote for whoever I tell them to vote for. Nice line by the way, ‘a vote for me is a vote for Key’. I like it. You are going to roll Brash though, right?
Banks: Oh, yeah. Soon as after the election. Total restructure mate, total restructure.
Key: I’ve heard that one before. Now, you are going to vote for everything I want and not make any demands, aren’t you?
Banks: Oh, I totally live to serve, master. I don’t care where, as long as I’m mayor/have a job. Tough recession we’re in, aye?
Key: Not for me, Banksy. And not for you, if you stick with me.
Banks: So, what are we going to do tomorrow?
Key: The same thing we do every day, Banksie. Try to take over NZ!
Banks: You already did that.
Key: Yeah, well, if you want to quibble over the details. But we’re going to take it more over. Now shut up and smile for the camera. And get some new glasses. You look like Steve Urkel.
“ICE
I guess I owe you one.
MAVERICK
You don’t owe me anything.
We’re on the same team.
ICE
You saved our lives. You did it!
MAVERICK
We did it.
ICE
You’re a hell of a flyer.
(he can’t resist)
You can be my wingman any time.
MAVERICK
(laughs)
No. You can be mine!
Now Ice laughs. Nobody’s ever gonna win on this one. But Ice
smiles at him…It’s now a running joke between them.
ICE
Whatever you say, Commander. “
Lol.
Undeclared affection that runs surprisingly deep?
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=NZ#/watch?v=ekXxi9IKZSA
WINRAR
“I’m a little teapot
with no clout.
Here is the scandal.
Here is the doubt
When I get recorded
‘Police’ I shout
Just tip me over
Get Brash out!”
😆
Nail on head and funny Lynne.
Classic
Banksy: “Brash? Gone by tea-time!”
Oh sh*t! Here comes Rodney…..
That dormouse over there, is he really sleeping? Or is he eavesdropping and just pretending to sleep.
Oh PM please tick me on the ballot paper for the Epsom candidate I need every vote.
JB: “I’m having touble scoring good bud in Epsom John. Can you hook me up?”
JK: “Chill out bro I’ll send some cops to your house with the good stuff tonight.”
Sorry to spam your blog, but I thought that this might be relevant to your interests. MemeSpree NZ – a new humour project from the makers of the “Ghost Jobs” image – has not recently come into possession of the two Johnnie’s tapes. Exclusive, sharable images with pertinent quotes can be found at http://memespreenz.blogspot.com/2011/11/teabagger-tapes.html although for how much longer we couldn’t say.
As for the caption, how about…
“Voters seem to be lapping up our ‘Jam every other day’ policy!”
“Yes Banskie, I’ve got something to quell your excitement until the 26th – bromide. It’s in the tea you know.”
JK: You know Banksie we need you in our team
JB: Thats what I was hoping you’d say JK, we could be great together you know
JK:Yeah I see you as the Paul Henry of politics Banksie
JB:Well I’m not afraid to speak up over the important issues JK
JK: I’m too gutless to use your frank language and raise those issues you’re so good at
JB: And don’t forget JK me and my Epsom mates have the best porn, thats what those brown brothers keep climbing in the windows looking for
JK: Yeah I know and sometimes some dope falls outa their pockets in the process, and once we knife Don we gunna need a new supplier
Key: Oh bluddyhell, Banks, you’re not crossdressing *again*, are you? I’ve been warned about this…