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John Key: High dollar works for me

Written By: - Date published: 10:43 am, February 28th, 2013 - 24 comments
Categories: exports, Minister for Overseas Holidays, Satire - Tags:

John Key was unexpectedly forthright today as he said that the high dollar was good – for him.

Look, it keeps my petrol prices down, so I can keep the old gas-guzzler turning over.  And you should see how many HD TVs I can get on my weekly salary!  They must be able to afford them on benefits even – which is lucky for all those Wool guys in Oamaru.

But best of all is how much a PM’s salary is worth in Hawaii now!  I can go toe-to-toe with Obama now, and if ever my security guards can convince his security guards to let me pop over I’ll sure impress him with that!

Key seemed slightly confused as to whether it was helpful for the country however –

All my currency-trader mates seem to do quite well out of the volatility, so surely that’s reflected across the economy, right?  I even hear it’s good for manufacturers somehow.  And of course if currency traders are buying it’s not because the NZ dollar is the new gold – it never goes down – it’s because the economy is doing great!

Meanwhile job losses continue as manufacturers and exporters struggle to compete…

24 comments on “John Key: High dollar works for me”

  1. Addison 1

    When writing fiction it’s best to declare it as such otherwise it’s just a lie!

    • framu 1.1

      it is

      “Categories: exports, Minister for Overseas Holidays, Satire ”

      catches me out from time to time – usually on dimpost

  2. Raa 2

    It all depends how you perceive Key, and that depends on where you sit.

    I have relatives who think he walks on water, an immigrant boy made good. \

    Others seem him a shameless self-promoter.

    For people scratching to survive, he’s just a big yawn.

  3. Roy 3

    Having read the source article, I’d say this is just a paraphrase.

  4. The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 4

    In other news, in response to criticism from the Greens that the government was doing nothing to alleviate the effects of gravity on New Zealanders, John Key said that gravity was a good thing because, provided its mass was sufficient, stuff remained where you left it.

    Undeterred, Russell Norman called on John Key to do something about the tides and the phases of the moon as well.

    • Colonial Viper 4.1

      Not sure about the moon, but tidal power might be worth something

    • Tim 4.2

      John Key said he’d have his people look into it and that he had just the people lined up to do a feasibility study.
      (“Now that the kuds rrr getin lil bit olda, Bronagh’s lookn for a paid passtime”)

    • felixviper 4.3

      Ah, the old ‘natural phenomenon’ argument.

      Sorry Ole, this is purely a human fuck-up and requires human responses. A human govt would be directly intervening to support manufacturers.

      A currency trader, on the other hand, has his own interests to look after.

  5. DH 5

    I read it the other day & couldn’t believe my eyes at this comment;

    “Even for a lot of manufacturers, it’s a big help.”

    A manufacturer who has an imported content in their product will re-export that content at the same high $NZD they bought it at. Clearly it is only local content that creates any wealth or profits for manufacturers and a high $NZD reduces the price they get for local content.

    If a manufacturer with imported content sells only to the domestic market they’re not gaining either because their international competitors also benefit from the high $NZD which brings down their prices to our local market by at least the same amount.

    What an asinine claim to make, and this from our PM of all people! Whose side is this guy on?

  6. bad12 6

    Why does the high value of the New Zealand Dollar work for Slippery the Prime Minister, read this whole page of excerpts of things Key has recently said here and overseas about the New Zealand dollar,

    This includes a look at who Slippery really works for and it aint the people of New Zealand,

    ”In talks with Timothy Geitner and Obama they say that they like the high exchange rate” unquote Slippery the prime Minister,

    http://www.interest.co.nz/…/pm-key-says-high-dollar-hurting-nz-exporters-new...

    Dairy with export sales of 12.1 billion dollars in 2011,

    Total exports for 2012 of 47.7 billion dollars,

    With a NZ$ that should have a value of between 65 and 75 cents against the US dollar the inaction of this abysmal Government is costing New Zealand exporters close to 4 billion dollars a year and along with that the Government is losing out in income from taxation of close to 1 billion dollars a year…

    • Draco T Bastard 6.1

      error 404 on that link.

      • bad12 6.1.1

        Google this: interest.co.nz/ PM Key says nz dollar hurting nz exporters.

        It makes an interesting read, i do not know where the press conference was held from which this quote was taken but will take it as a true account of the words of the PM as it is on the interest.co.nz site, heres the full text and shows in WHO’s interest the Slippery little Shyster is hell bent on keeping the NZ$ pumped up to historical highs,

        ” Interestingly enough if you look in the US, one of the big arguments that Secretary Geithner, that Ben Bernanke and Obama all made to me was that actually a high exchange rate is, they believe, something that they’re highly supportive of”, He said.

        ”The reason for that is that they believe that it leads to more benefits than the opposite”. unquote Slippery John Key NZ Prime Minister admitting that the US Federal Reserve dictates to New Zealand what it’s monetary policy will and will not be…

          • bad12 6.1.1.1.1

            So you think that the age of the comment makes them irrelevant???, it is obvious why Bernanke, Geithner, and Obama would be ‘highly supportive’ of the NZ$ remaining at historic highs against it’s US counter-part,

            This simply gives US exporters an advantage over Kiwi exporters whether they be farm or manufacturing based and the continual printing of money by the US Federal Reserve can hardly be described as ‘free market economics’,

            Claims by Slippery the Prime Minister that keeping the NZ$ at such historic highs pays off at the petrol pump for the average Kiwi are in fact utter bullshit as this Government in December raised taxes on petrol products by 3 cents a liter and prices in January this year have risen by another 11 cents a liter despite the NZ$ being continually traded at over 80 cents versus the US$,

            Meanwhile back in the jungle, this Government is forced to borrow more and more of the US Federal Reserves dirty laundry in the form of 40 billion dollars US a month of printed monies which Slippery our NZ Prime Minister has now admitted is in circulation in the global economy which in effect is a direct taxation by the US Federal Reserve on future exports from the NZ economy as the high dollar lessens monetary gains for NZ exporters even tho trade volumes remain high…

            • Draco T Bastard 6.1.1.1.1.1

              So you think that the age of the comment makes them irrelevant?

              No, it was more that I was expecting a new post from what you said. It made searching for it harder. It would also have helped if you hadn’t implied that the quotes were on one post rather than three and that you’d linked to them all properly in the first place. May I suggest the FAQ to help with this?

              This simply gives US exporters an advantage over Kiwi exporters whether they be farm or manufacturing based and the continual printing of money by the US Federal Reserve can hardly be described as ‘free market economics’,

              Check the history. You’ll find that “free-market” economics has only ever been applied to the lower strata of society and, in the case of the US, only every other country and not themselves.

              Claims by Slippery the Prime Minister that keeping the NZ$ at such historic highs pays off at the petrol pump for the average Kiwi are in fact utter bullshit…

              Of course it is but not for what you say. If our dollar dropped against the US we’d have more incentive to replace oil based fuels and that would mean electric based transport (rail and trolley buses/trucks) which would end up being far cheaper as well making NZ even more competitive on the world market.

              Meanwhile back in the jungle, this Government is forced to borrow more and more of the US Federal Reserves dirty laundry in the form of 40 billion dollars US a month of printed monies which Slippery our NZ Prime Minister has now admitted is in circulation in the global economy which in effect is a direct taxation by the US Federal Reserve on future exports from the NZ economy as the high dollar lessens monetary gains for NZ exporters even tho trade volumes remain high…

              Agreed although I’d say that we’re not forced to but that the government is doing so on purpose. No government needs to borrow money.

              • bad12

                May i suggest you stop being such a f**king wanker, the quotes i used were all on the same page as i pointed out in my suggested google,

                Yawn i am talking the economic reality’s of ‘now’ not your continual fantasy world which has zero chance of ever becoming a reality, go back to dreaming, your boring…

                • Draco T Bastard

                  the quotes i used were all on the same page as i pointed out in my suggested google,

                  No, they’re not. In fact, your specific quotes don’t appear on any of those pages – they were just close enough to be able to find.

                  not your continual fantasy world which has zero chance of ever becoming a reality

                  It has a possibility if people learn enough about economics to understand that the BS pedaled by the mainstream economists, politicians and RWNJs is delusional.

  7. bad12 7

    Are you deliberatly being dense or is this some genetic propensity you have been blessed with,

    Heres the Google i gave you when you pointed out the link provided lead to an error 404,

    Google this: interest.co.nz/pm says nz dollar hurting nz exporters.

    Now the 3rd item on the page titled as above is where i directed you to find the quote i used, if you could not find the item which was clearly titled as i pointed out in the Google i can only suggest you get your eyesight checked and while your at it have someone check your f**king ego out as well as it appears from here that it is outta control,

    The fact that you have failed to understand the ‘inference’ of what Slippery the Prime Minister has said about Geithner, Bernanke and Obama all telling Him that they are ‘highly supportive’ of a high NZ$ doesn’t surprise me in light of the argument you post above about the specific quote not appearing at the Google i directed you toward surprises me not,

    In diplomatic ‘speak’ Slippery is being directly told by all three that they like that high NZ$ and He can leave off with any idea of taking steps to lower it, in other words the big fish of the pond telling the little fish of the pond what to do at the peril of being eaten for breakfast if He doesn’t,

    We then of course, taking into account the compulsive nature of the Prime Minister’s predilection for telling big fat f**king porkies and make an assessment over whether that conversation between those party’s ever actually occurred and if it did not occur then the Prime Minister is not only engaging in His usual habit of never letting a chance to bullshit us all pass by, He is also name dropping as a smokescreen excuse for doing nothing while NZ exporters are hurting and shedding jobs left right and center,

    The last sentence of your previous comment is way too hilarious on too many levels to actually warrant the bother of a further answer…

  8. bad12 8

    First He says this and then He says that, on any given day He says something else never stopping to think that all of what He says cannot be the truth as the statements are all contradictions of each other,

    He being of course none other than Slippery the prime minister of New Zealand, the bloke what never lets a chance go by, the chance to lie through His f**king teeth that is,

    Here’s what Slippery john key said onj January 23rd 2013,” I still think from a New Zeland perspective we’re on the right path. printing money wouldn’t necessarily see a devaluation of our exchange rate”, unquote.

    i beg your f**king pardon Slippery, why then are you scaremongering over increased fuel costs for motorists farmer and manufacturers if you cannot see printing NZ$’, acting to devalue the currency,

    i swear that man is a retard as well as a compulsive bullshit artist, and, anyone that puts an ounce of belief in an iota of whatever it is that that Shyster is pedalling on any given day must suffer from the same affliction,

    Here’s a fact: petrol in New Zeland is taxed 61 cents a liter by the Government, 3 cents of that tax was added barely 3 months ago by Slippery’s Government and that’s befor GST, and he professes to care about OUR fuel costs,

    Here’s another fact:if the supply of NZ Dollars was to be increased then it is a simple matter as/if the dollar devalues the taxes on fuel could be as instantly lowered in the same f**king time frame as Slippery and Co rack raise them, the printed dollars would then be passed from the Reserve Bank to the Government to make up the shortfall in the Government tax take from having lowered the fuel taxes,

    The Prime Minister is talking utter bullshit when he talks of printing money causing inflation through fuel costs,

    Here’s more of it, or should i say bullshit from the Prime Minister on the same day, ”Key pointed to a series of interest rate cuts in Australia that had not lead to a lower Australian Dollar”,

    Now that is just plain DUMB from out Prime Minister, why would cutting interest rates lead to a lower dollar, cutting interest rates would just have more and more people wanting to borrow cheap money which would simply increase the demand,

    Except for His value as a laughing stock as He dances with queers and stuff, Slippery our prime Minister is as useless as a turd that wont flush and should be got rid of befor the damage done becomes terminal,

    The quotes attributed to the Slippery little Shyster can be found at,

    http://www.interest.co.nz/../pm-key-says-japan-money-printing-and-currency-wars...

    Ter Google if that link is on the blink is: interest.co.nz/key says japan money printing and currency wars a risk for NZ.

  9. Simple 9

    Bad12 are you serious, you must be on another planet, with some of your comments or unable to remember some of NZ’s recent economic history?

    Lets deal with: the first is cutting interest rates. How exactly, OCR is at 2.5%, I think you are forgetting some reality, at this level the Reserve Bank can’t go much lower and have impact (as is the US funding with near 0 rates – they have no more leavers to pull), our money in terms of deposit rates are affected by inflation, sovereign risk, economic outlook. So even if you wanted to with a floating currency, you can’t just lower rates

    2nd point, we import as a country far too much from the rest of the world, as a country we refuse to save, have higher levels of productivity and constantly chase the lifestyle (without wanting to realise the consequences). If you have a lower dollar, it leads to inflation just on fuel costs alone (see recent CPI stats to see how much of the basket of goods is in this one area, or affected by it like food through increased distribution costs).

    • bad12 9.1

      LOLZ, i just come across your comment, your extremely funny, obviously you don’t intend to be but you make a claim about my comments in this post and then run off on a little tangent of your imagination not answering any comment i have made but instead creating an imaginary argument,(i assume you do so for the sake of ‘winning’ this argument,

      i will tho deal with your argument over increased fuel costs, can the NZ$ be diluted by printing money and thus lower it’s value against the US$ to a sane mark of 65-70 cents while keeping fuel price inflation at the bare minimum,

      YES it can, if we were to print the necessary monies to enable the lowering of the value of the NZ$ while at the same time lowering the Governments taxation imposed upon fuel products, (61 cents a liter plus GST), we then need only pass the same amount of printed monies to the Government as replacement for the fuel tax lost,

      Simple, no fuel price inflation in the actual cost of fuel or the spread through the economy of inflation brought about by fuel price increases off of the back of a lower dollar, there is no loss of revenue for the Government nor any gain so the lower dollar is achieved without any adverse effects…

      • Colonial Viper 9.1.1

        We actually want petrol and diesel prices to appreciate naturally. The day is coming and if we have to use market signals, let’s use them to push for public transport.

        • bad12 9.1.1.1

          (a), who is this ‘we’???, and (b), 61 cents of Government taxation + 15% GST are not in my view is not a ‘natural appreciation’ of fuel product pricing,

          (c), The day as you say might be coming, do not tho hold your breath as it is, again in my opinion going to be one hell of a long wait for this so called ‘day’ to arrive,

          (d), A specific congestion tax for cities along with a greatly enhanced upgrade of ‘park and ride’ facilities including the construction of multi story car parking facilities, with apartments on the upper levels would go further to reduce inner city traffic congestion than Government taxation of fuel products,

          Attempting to use Government taxation to act as an impetus for the use of public transport is neanderthalic to say the least as such taxation feeds through the whole economy to make the most basic of food items more expensive and thus hurts those with the least incomes the most while taking no account of the fact that this cohort may not even be part of such traffic congestion…

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