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notices and features - Date published:
3:03 pm, May 24th, 2016 - 52 comments
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Pick the muppet ….
“Why’s it so skinny this year”
“Well you see paddy its hard to make it big when you have no ideas”
Mediaworks agent ready to snap a pic if blinglish flicks through the budget speech, thus once again beating a media lock-in…
The ventriloquist and his dummy
Gower thinks,” I got that ass shot I was desperately after, mm hasn’t he got a tight budget ass that honey Bill.
Or,
If I hold this phone like that, how do I look G?, side camera like a gangsta?
“Yeah, nah, it’s all good, we’re just photocopying the new version after the PM made some shit up on the fly this morning.”
Ladies and Gentlemen selling for Murry McCully we come to lot 24; 11 boxes of ‘Pacific Relief Aid’, who’ll make the first bid…….sorry ‘donation’.
I like it
Oh-paddy- ,he’s just taking a selfie, he plays an important part in team Key at moments like this.
Don’t worry paddy , our little book of your secrets is safe , as long as you behave.!
Yes we are going to use the boxes to help house those in Auckland who can’t get a garage.
With a special bonus pamphlet insert on how to perform the Four Yorhshiremen sketch for fun instead of watching TV.
“I think even for John, there is rather a lot of Panama Papers” “Don’t fret i have hired the industrial shredder again” “phew, where would we be without it”
The polls are in, now I can write a budget.
National reveals its plan for the housing crisis….
We can make houses out of these boxes!
Seven boxes of PrintLink made it’s first appearance as Prime Minister of New Zealand today. Wheeled in on a trolley by a dodgy looking security man. PrintLink’s catchy slogan “delivering value everyday” was deemed overall more appealing to voters than the previous PM Key who was ousted last month.
Does Collins needs all these cosmetics?
Yeah, you should see a full order
Right, is that it for this month? Files for disposal,,,,you put the Slater-Keys in there? Okdokey,,,lets do this thing
We pulled all the debt figures out and now she’s as light as can be……….
Due to Budget cuts….TV1’s version of Celebrity Squares was slightly different
“This will solve the housing shortage in Auckland,,,de luxe, well appointed Boxes……high rental, low maintenance,,,,lets see them complain now!
good grief, the geezer in the back looks miserable.
Ok if we Budget for one semi free cardboard box for the plebs, i think that will balance the budget,,,lets not talk about the debt though
The Boxer Rebellion, had begun at last at Nat’s HQ!
Wow, we arent getting the usual amount of hate mail for John..
we best double check….
Rigthio, 1, 2, 3, 4
Box Building Comp at Nasty Party,,,,
nope sorry that’s not the record,,,,,John and Pauline are equal top.. managing to put 5 boxes on top of each other!
Right that’s it, i have having a word with post office, why do we always get the complaints for the right wing apologist Beige Pete, delivered here?
Perhaps they know something we don’t?
If we box clever, we can have this mess cleared up in a jiffy
This budget of yrs is brilliant, it ticks all the boxes
Yeah I know he looks like he’s crapping himself because I told him I didn’t have the list of memes, slogans and numerology we wanted them to go with like we usually do.
Somewhere in deepest Panama City, one lackey make ready a secret delivery to one J Keys….
Bill – “As you can see, there is nothing in it again this year”.
“Geez Bill, a Safety Station. Is it gonna be that dreadful.?”
Printlink delivering value everyday (subsidiary of Crosby Textor).
well spotted.
Shit….what a wanker….
“Captain, my tricorder does not detect a heartbeat or any brain waves!? But there’s a hell of a lot of BS particles in this space …”
Its all bullshit and jellybeans…but people think I am important and that is what matters
“Hold the bloody thing a bit higher Bill, I want to get a damn photo!”
You can make a make a silk purse of a sow’s ear, but how the hell am I meant to pass this pigs rectum of a budget off as a silk purse Bill?
It’s eight years on and I can’t grow the economy or even balance the books. Even our press helpers are grumpy. Still, it beats farming. Smile for the camera.
Gower ” I don’t like the look of this dodgy fucking robot, and what’s this orange and white thing ?. “
What Auckland housing problem! Here I’ll sort this out Nick, I’ll have a ring-around from this South Island phone book. Should be at least one number in here that will help.
“Nothing of substance in here – but we’ve managed to barricade that oik Gower in the print room with the boxes and the Whale is hacking his phone so with a bit of luck we won’t see him again.”
lol
Yes I know it is very thin, it’s to match that other book on National’s achievements.
But donations have been the real growth area and are now listed in Mandarin……
Gower goes for the cheap shot…
Yes, we are grooming the Dick Head behind me, to become Hosking MK 2, he’s doing very well in the role.
“I’ve got your back mate”
Hey look Bill, we’re on Youporn….