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ImperatorFish: In Praise Of John Key
Written By: - Date published: 9:49 pm, November 12th, 2012 - 8 comments
I am filled with admiration for our Prime Minister. The latest employment figures are a disaster, and appear to show that this government does not know how to grow the economy. But our Mr Key is made of sterner stuff. He knows in his heart that these figures aren’t to be relied upon, because everything else tells him that things are getting better.
Leaders under pressure
Written By: - Date published: 11:58 am, November 10th, 2012 - 42 comments
Both John Key and David Shearer have had a bit of a pasting in the media lately. Shearer’s problems are solvable – Key’s are not…
John Key: seriously, professionally and appropriately?
Written By: - Date published: 9:35 am, November 8th, 2012 - 40 comments
Up to his neck in criticism for his batshit behaviour of late, Key petulantly complained: “I dare you to show me one example where I haven’t discharged my responsibility seriously, professionally and appropriately”. OK Standardistas – help me out here…
Chilled out entertainer
Written By: - Date published: 1:56 pm, November 7th, 2012 - 21 comments
John Key and David Brent. Both chilled out entertainers. The resemblance is uncanny.
Two faced John Key on Pike River
Written By: - Date published: 7:17 am, November 7th, 2012 - 54 comments
On Monday John Key admitted in an interview that Pike River Coal compromised safety for profits. On Tuesday Jon Key insisted in Parliament that such a suggestion was ridiculous. Which John Key should we believe? Can he even remember what he is saying from one day to the next? Does he care?
McKellen scolds Key
Written By: - Date published: 11:47 am, November 6th, 2012 - 127 comments
Good to see a prominent and widely respected gay person take Key on for his thoughtless and damaging language.
Ignoring the warning signs
Written By: - Date published: 10:01 am, November 6th, 2012 - 17 comments
Among the many failures of human cognition, we’re very poor at taking account of warnings of future risk and consequence. We’ve seen two particularly clear and strong examples of ignoring the warnings in NZ politics in the last two weeks. There are many other cases ongoing…
An Ordinary New Zealander
Written By: - Date published: 2:04 pm, November 5th, 2012 - 56 comments
So John Key had a very ordinary Friday apparently. Not only did he deride a kind international celebrity who took 45 minutes out of his day to spend time with his son as “thick as batshit,” he also was out there telling a radio host his shirt was “gay”. Just to show up how ordinary a New Zealander he is he went on to make a $10,000 bet on the stroke of a golf ball.
Only there for the photo-ops
Written By: - Date published: 11:19 am, November 5th, 2012 - 33 comments
John Key won’t be on the West Coast today when the Pike River report will be released. He’ll have a tightly managed press conference at the Beehive, instead. Key promised that he would stand by the Pike River families. He promised that all efforts would be put in to get the bodies out, no matter the cost. It was all hollow talk from a hollow man.
How to sound completely insincere
Written By: - Date published: 6:00 pm, November 4th, 2012 - 53 comments
John Key is world-famous for speaking unintelligibly, no doubt. But how do we spot the times when he’s not just being ineloquent, and is clearly parroting lines prepared by someone else?
Key the Diplomat
Written By: - Date published: 9:14 am, November 3rd, 2012 - 173 comments
The UK’s biggest daily newspaper’s lead about Britain’s favourite son today:
Yet another thing the PM is “not responsible” for
Written By: - Date published: 8:19 am, November 1st, 2012 - 26 comments
Yet another thing the PM is “not responsible” for – add it to the long list. This time it is his “oversight” of the SAS. Or is Key seeking his Obama “gotcha” moment, and a political bounce from it?
ImperatorFish: Hacker Accesses PM’s Brain
Written By: - Date published: 2:02 pm, October 24th, 2012 - 11 comments
Security experts were being rushed to the ninth floor of the Beehive this morning, after a malicious hacker accessed the Prime Minister’s brain. Experts began to suspect a breach of security, after large amounts of data stored in John Key’s brain disappeared.
ImperatorFish: Labour Blamed For Robot Army Attack
Written By: - Date published: 2:13 pm, October 20th, 2012 - 13 comments
Questions were again raised about the leadership of David Shearer today, after a giant robot army descended from the skies and laid waste to most of the North Island. As the horde of killer machines spread fire and death in all directions, there was no news from the Labour Party leader about how he would deal with the crisis. Critics of Labour say that Shearer’s inaction is further evidence that he is unfit to lead the party.
John’s song
Written By: - Date published: 4:50 pm, October 19th, 2012 - 19 comments
Friday funnies – a song for John.
In a dinnamic environment it’s hard to be precise
Written By: - Date published: 8:03 am, October 19th, 2012 - 32 comments
So apparently John Key failed to be “precise enough” when he said he voted for the drinking age to be 20, and actually voted for it to be 18. But then this is all the fault of opposition MPs being ‘pedantic’ with the fact that true doesn’t equal false.
National split on super?
Written By: - Date published: 7:09 am, October 19th, 2012 - 26 comments
Foss has effectively challenged the PM’s stance on ruling out changes to the age of eligibility for NZ Super. A minor rebellion? A faint flickering of independent and rational thought form within the National caucus?
Not even trying any more
Written By: - Date published: 7:43 am, October 18th, 2012 - 35 comments
Key’s just straight up lying to the media now on easily verifiable facts. A 3news poll shows 57% said Parliament got it wrong keeping the drinking age at 18%. Key says: “That’s one of the reasons I voted for it to go to 20 – in line with what the public thought – but Parliament didn’t vote that one.” In reality, he voted split age and, then, to keep it 18.
A trip down faulty memory lane
Written By: - Date published: 8:45 pm, October 17th, 2012 - 69 comments
One of the fishy elements of the GCSB-Dotcom-Key saga is Key’s suddenly very faulty memory. It’s unbelievable what he’s forgotten about such a major issue. Here’s a partial list of things Key can’t recall, isn’t sure about, or doesn’t know – just from his answers in the House and just the last 3 days of questions. Update: got to tip my hat to Te Reo Putake’s name for the PM: ‘DunnoKeyo’
None so blind
Written By: - Date published: 10:42 am, October 17th, 2012 - 43 comments
Yesterday, John Key told Parliament in endless detail exactly what the GCSB did trying to check if there is any video of him talking about Dotcom. He knew all of that front to back. But, when it came to a simple question: ‘when did the GCSB realise they had broken the law in spying on Dotcom’. He had no idea. It’s incredible that he hasn’t bothered to learn such a basic fact.
Pike River: New video footage proves Key made the promise he denies
Written By: - Date published: 10:08 am, October 17th, 2012 - 62 comments
Key denied promising the Pike River families that the bodies of their loved ones would be retrieved. Now that his faulty account has been corrected by new video evidence, he owes it more than ever to the families to do the right thing. Key made the promise – he should honour it.
Banks suppressed Police statement
Written By: - Date published: 7:40 am, October 17th, 2012 - 48 comments
Remember how Banks’ Police report came out and the statement he gave to the Police was blanked out? And remember how Banks said it was the Police’s choice, not his? Yeah, well that was a lie. Even on the most generous reading of Banks’ words, he was trying to mislead the media. What’s Key’s rule? “A Minister who lies or misleads about his actions would lose his confidence”
“Privacy assured!” Politics, the police & surveillance
Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, October 16th, 2012 - 27 comments
Public trust in the police is at a new low. But what of the trust in our government? How much collusion is there between the police, government, spy agencies and foreign governments? However, citizens are also using the technologies of the surveillance society to hold the government and state authorities to account.
US Justice and Dotcom’s birthday
Written By: - Date published: 1:20 am, October 15th, 2012 - 9 comments
Judith Collins is going to the US and isn’t going to raise the Dotcom case we are told. I’ll bet the US Justice Department is though. They knew for a year Dotcom was going to be arrested on his birthday.
Oversight
Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, October 14th, 2012 - 10 comments
There are only 2 people protecting us from illegal spying: the Inspector-General with his staff of 1, and the Prime Minister. Therefore it is vital that the Prime Minister knows the law they are meant to be enforcing. They can’t know what they aren’t told, but when the GCSB tells him they were spying on a famous NZ resident, the PM should know that that’s illegal and act on it. Not wait to be briefed on the affair 7 months later.
Shearer, Key, credibility
Written By: - Date published: 9:46 am, October 13th, 2012 - 157 comments
The strange case of what was or was not said on February 29th by Key to GCSB staff regarding Kim Dotcom. In the Shearer Key face-off I know who I think the public will believe – surprise surprise it’s David Shearer. Here’s why…
Shooting the moon
Written By: - Date published: 6:47 am, October 12th, 2012 - 74 comments
If I were in Labour, I would be looking at the polls and thinking that a small target strategy is best: preserve your credibility at all costs, keep your head down, pick up the votes as National self-destructs – it worked for Key in 2008. Instead, Shearer seems to be trying to shoot the moon with a knock out blow to Key (interesting parallel to Norman’s export policy there).
The incredibly incurious and forgetful Mr Key
Written By: - Date published: 9:21 pm, October 11th, 2012 - 144 comments
“So what?” says Key as allegations emerge from within GCSB that Key cracked jokes about the spooks’ (illegal) involvement in the Dotcom raid when he was briefed by them on February 29th. It either means you realised their spying and are incompetent for not questioning its legality or that you knew all about the illegal spying and didn’t care – that’s what.
Watch Campbell Live at 7pm
Written By: - Date published: 6:39 pm, October 11th, 2012 - 103 comments
Apparently there’s a tape of Key mentioning Dotcom on February 29th. Another bit of Key’s story collapses? Watch Campbell Live at 7 for more…
Selling New Zealand: 100% Muddle-Urf
Written By: - Date published: 9:45 am, October 11th, 2012 - 18 comments
Why is John Key backing the flagging tourist industry as a major export earner for NZ’s future? His trip to Hollywood was partly about using the Hobbit to promote NZ as a tourist destination. Why is the government so fixated on attracting more US tourists?
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