Satire
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Dirty politics in Dunedin
Written By: - Date published: 12:49 pm, September 3rd, 2014 - 42 comments
No. Not Pete George. Instead Andrew Geddis appears to be up to his neck in the mire of organising “Debating ‘Dirty Politics’: Media, Politics and Law”, at a ‘scholarly’ debate on Friday from 1pm-4pm. It is a long-winded scholarly debate inside work hours. But it will be streamed on youtube and hopefully not only live.
Interview with “Key”…
Written By: - Date published: 6:42 am, August 26th, 2014 - 16 comments
Billed as “Decision 2014 Part 1”, Here’s Michael Hurst staring as John Key’s office…
Labour policy
Written By: - Date published: 11:46 am, August 25th, 2014 - 24 comments
Because of the technical illiteracy of the political committee that appears to have run the development of the Labour website, their extensive list of policies tends to be unreachable. I eventually found the useful page and I’m giving their website a hand using The Standard’s search engine optimization.
ImperatorFish: Dirty Politics book raises suspicions of broader hacking agenda
Written By: - Date published: 5:27 pm, August 19th, 2014 - 7 comments
Scott investigates a crime wave that may or may not have any connection with Nicky Hager.
Well-known conspiracy theorist
Written By: - Date published: 12:52 pm, August 15th, 2014 - 13 comments
It’s John Key. In a wide-ranging interview, he tried to explain how “the left” conspired to ensure over the last three days that they burnt an effigy of him, used a few swear words about him on You-Tube, ran a satirical video, and Nicky Hager launched a book at the normal after-work time! No wonder his minders would rather he didn’t do stand-ups.
ImperatorFish: A message from the CEO of the Taxpayers’ Onion
Written By: - Date published: 3:12 pm, August 14th, 2014 - 2 comments
Scott brings us this important info on how to set up your totally independent lobby group successfully.
ImperatorFish: A statement from the Israel Defence Force
Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, August 5th, 2014 - 81 comments
The indiscriminate and criminal slaughter of children and civilians of Gaza perpetrated by the fearlessly over-armed IDF must make every Israeli or fellow traveller armchair warrior grasp their groin in total excitement.
ImperatorFish: I did not order this – again
Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, July 29th, 2014 - 3 comments
Scott reposts this Nick Smith classic.
What the Herald would like to say
Written By: - Date published: 10:24 am, July 29th, 2014 - 31 comments
Porcupine farm has a ‘real” front page of the Herald – what they’d like to publish if they only could.
What will David Cunliffe be accused of next?
Written By: - Date published: 5:44 pm, July 23rd, 2014 - 112 comments
There have been a number of allegations made against David Cunliffe recently and more can be expected. In an effort to short circuit things I have collected a number of potential claims made by facebook friends. Knock yourselves out and add to the list but in the interests of a positive campaign keep then funny and non defamatory.
Imperator Fish: Read the law
Written By: - Date published: 1:28 pm, July 18th, 2014 - 6 comments
Imperator Fish discovers that the official legal website for law in NZ has been hacked. The law that the Independent Police Conduct Authority (IPCA) used to look at complaints about the interception of communications for Kim DotCom, political parties, and anyone that the police deem as being suspicious was obviously incomplete. So the IPCA used some invisible law in their ruling. Who cares what the real law is anyway?
Imperator Fish: In the Beehive today
Written By: - Date published: 12:14 pm, July 7th, 2014 - 5 comments
This post was put up at Imperator Fish on Sunday evening. It looks like Hekia Parata was following Scott’s script today. 🙂
Sure we need a better class of wingnut commenter, as is frequently suggested here. However surely it is more important that we get a better quality of government minister than ones who think that evidence based policies means only the evidence about how well their party is doing in the polls?
It’s the season of books & posters: write your own
Written By: - Date published: 7:27 am, June 29th, 2014 - 7 comments
It seems to be the season of books and faux movie posters. Mary-Ellen O’Connor has published a Nats’ cook book. Proceeds of the sales will apparently be donated to the “centre left”.
Imperator Fish: My statement to the New Zealand Herald
Written By: - Date published: 2:35 pm, June 26th, 2014 - 14 comments
Scott Yorke writes a statement for Jared Savage at the NZ Herald to conceal while attacking Labour with. As we know Jared will treat this with his usual journalistic caution and therefore briefly read it before publishing. Some of it might be true!!! Labour should be able to prove a negative with no information. That works for that paragon of journalism Cameron Slater, so why should the NZ Herald miss out on the joys of getting headlines out of nothing being verified. In fact the only thing wrong is that the source isn’t National dirty tricks (John Key’s top drawer).
Imperator Fish: Critics slam Labour list selections – again
Written By: - Date published: 2:08 pm, June 23rd, 2014 - 20 comments
Some things are so predicable that Imperator Fish can write about them years ahead. Like the typical reactions to the Labour list. Let us observe the predictability of the right and others to it today. Marks for any bit of originality, but don’t be surprised if there aren’t any.
The police must investigate the alleged Liu donations because…
Written By: - Date published: 5:05 pm, June 22nd, 2014 - 24 comments
Scott Yorke makes some excellent arguments in favour of a full police investigation into the Liu saga.
Imperator Fish: ACT’s new employment relations policy
Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, June 13th, 2014 - 20 comments
The ACT Party today released its employment relations policy, which focuses on providing both employees and employers with flexibility in how they arrange their workplaces. “People may think they know how slavery works, but do they really? It’s an idea that has had some bad publicity over the years, but only because the right model hasn’t been tried. We believe we have developed the right model. A model that gives employees genuine choice about whether or not to become slaves.”
Imperator Fish: Winning in 2014: a prescription for Labour
Written By: - Date published: 11:04 pm, June 10th, 2014 - 38 comments
Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish is well known for his inciteful insightful analysis of many issues. However he has really really outdone himself on this clarion call for rioting clarity. It will bring war unity to all parts of the political spectrum outside of Labour advising them on their strategy. Who can wait to read the few lines of commentary by David Farrar giving the 9th floor position as he quotes this post. Indeed!
Imperator Fish: Move along please, sir
Written By: - Date published: 10:20 pm, June 7th, 2014 - 8 comments
As a senior member of the New Zealand Police, I would like to respond to allegations that the police were remiss in not prosecuting ACT Party MP the Hon John Banks. There is no police corruption here. We may have been disgracefully, eye-wateringly incompetent, but we are not dirty. Now please move along, as we wish to put this entire incident behind us as quickly as we can, before too many questions are asked.
Key “AT HOME” in Whale Oil Cafe
Written By: - Date published: 3:13 pm, May 24th, 2014 - 10 comments
Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, Episode 4. Based on the 1980’s comedy series “Allo, ‘Allo”. starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith his wife. Set in a greasy spoon cafe off K’d. See previous episodes: Starring role Key schemes It is early morning before the Whale Oil cafe has opened. Cameron Rene sits […]
Imperator Fish: Let’s shut down the internet
Written By: - Date published: 1:40 pm, May 22nd, 2014 - 18 comments
There appears to have been a hiatus in the flood of posts today. Perhaps it is because of the wise words of Imperator Fish pausing the world as they consider his wise words… And those of Speaker Carter (who appears to have a problem with most current culture).
Sausagegate
Written By: - Date published: 12:27 pm, May 12th, 2014 - 76 comments
It just goes to show how National’s luck is running. John Key has arguably committed the offence of treating by handing out free sausages and has sabotaged the fundraising attempts of a couple of Queenstown kids. Now imagine if Cameron Slater had his hands on this story …
ImperatorFish: A statement from John Key
Written By: - Date published: 6:31 pm, May 5th, 2014 - 8 comments
I want to make it absolutely clear that the National Party are not in any way under the influence of Big Tobacco…
Right thinking: Just looking after the investor
Written By: - Date published: 10:31 am, May 2nd, 2014 - 10 comments
Imperator Fish nails the essential relationship of a National/Act caucus with donations. “Why should a good hard-working minister have to resign over such a minor thing? All he did was put a little pressure on the police. Where’s the harm in that? Isn’t that what we pay our MPs for? To look after our interests and help us when we get into bother?” “Mr Liu invested a lot of money with the National Party. Isn’t he entitled to see a return on his investment?”
Key Announces National’s Job’s Policy.
Written By: - Date published: 6:29 pm, April 30th, 2014 - 1 comment
‘Allo, Allo, Allo, Allo – Based on the 1980’s Comedy Series, “Allo, allo” – Starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith. Episode Three. (See previous episodes) “Cameron Slater gets starring role in tvnz drama” “Key schemes with media at whaleoil cafe“ By Susan Nact It is just before opening time at the […]
LocalBodies: King Luddite and the Green Wave
Written By: - Date published: 11:41 am, April 28th, 2014 - 31 comments
King Luddite was resolute in his belief in the power of black gold and he decided to make a public stand against the green tidal wave that was rapidly approaching his small kingdom. On September the 20th he decided would place his throne on the nearest beach and, with his ministers standing behind him, command that the wave come no further. He had once heard a story of another king who had done something similar and thought it sounded like a good idea. Of course he had never been a good history scholar and he had never bothered to consult his wise men.
Imperator Fish: A sacred day
Written By: - Date published: 10:54 am, April 25th, 2014 - 10 comments
“Today is the day when we remember those who fell.
I plan to honour this sacred day by not indulging in political discourse of any kind until 1:00 pm.
At 1:00 pm the shops open and life returns largely to normal. At 1:00 pm I will resume my ceaseless efforts to destroy this monstrous government.”
ImperatorFish: Judith Collins explains
Written By: - Date published: 8:14 am, April 18th, 2014 - 30 comments
Judith can’t believe she has to explain this all again
ImperatorFish: A day in the life of Simon Bridges
Written By: - Date published: 3:50 pm, April 10th, 2014 - 8 comments
ImperatorFish generously allows us to repost some of his posts. It was impossible to resist this satire.
“Just asked Hekia what I should do. I told her I feel like I’m the weakest link in the entire Cabinet. I could swear I saw relief on her face as I said it. “Don’t you dare leave,” she told me.“
Winning song urges Key to leave politics
Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, April 7th, 2014 - 7 comments
Tracy Whatshite, Cadet Reporter, attended the “Bellies” (held at Bellamy’s) and found out who the winners were in this year’s competition for the Best Political Song of 2014. She spoke with the judge Frankie Stevens.
“Competition was particularly intense this year and the top entries included some old favourites, but also some surprizing new comers,” he said.
IF: A day in the life of Matthew Hooton
Written By: - Date published: 7:39 am, March 25th, 2014 - 32 comments
[Satire] I has a dream… Winston retired from politics and went on to set up a bird rescue centre in a remote spot in the Raukumura Range, but the centre was burned down after two teenagers high on glue broke in and set it alight. The delicious smells of hundreds of roasted native birds attracted the attentions of the poor for miles around… desperate and hungry people tore at each other to get into the still-burning sanctuary… I awoke in a fever and ran to my computer, and in seconds flat I had my NBR column finished.
- Empty classrooms, silent language: Kōhanga reo faces a crisis
As the fight to revitalise te reo Māori continues, kōhanga reo are grappling with severe teacher shortages, outdated facilities, and a lack of trust in their national leadership. Te Reo Māori is integral to understanding the Māori worldview. It provides a window into te ao Māori that is nearly impossible ...2 days ago - NZCTU Put Brooke Van Velden On Notice Over WorkSafe Cuts
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- Minimum wage set to get modest bump to $23.50 in April
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- An imaging company gave its patients’ X-rays and CT scans to an AI company. How did this happen?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stacy Carter, Professor and Director, Australian Centre for Health Engagement, Evidence and Values, University of Wollongong Zamrznuti tonovi/Shutterstock Australia’s biggest radiology provider, I-MED, has provided de-identified patient data to an artificial intelligence company without explicit patient consent, Crikey reported recently. ...2 days ago
- 5 things to know before boarding your dog or cat this summer
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Melissa Starling, Postdoctoral Researcher in Veterinary Science, University of Sydney Tatiana Kovaleva/Shutterstock Around this time of year, pet owners across the country are scrambling to finalise holiday care arrangements. Some lucky animals go to the home of a familiar family member, ...2 days ago
- NZ’s government may ask the public to underwrite the risk of fossil fuel exploration – this coul...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nathan Cooper, Associate Professor of Law, University of Waikato Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images After reversing the ban on new offshore oil and gas exploration permits, New Zealand’s coalition government is now considering whether to share the risks of exploration with the fossil ...2 days ago
- More Australian families are choosing private schools – we need to understand why
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sally Larsen, Senior Lecturer in Education, University of New England The shape of Australia’s school system is undergoing a significant change. Enrolments in independent schools are growing, while fewer students are going to public schools. Why are more families choosing an ...2 days ago
- When you wish upon a star, is it already dead? An astronomer crunches the numbers
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