Satire
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Dirty politics in Dunedin
Written By: - Date published: 12:49 pm, September 3rd, 2014 - 42 comments
No. Not Pete George. Instead Andrew Geddis appears to be up to his neck in the mire of organising “Debating ‘Dirty Politics’: Media, Politics and Law”, at a ‘scholarly’ debate on Friday from 1pm-4pm. It is a long-winded scholarly debate inside work hours. But it will be streamed on youtube and hopefully not only live.
Interview with “Key”…
Written By: - Date published: 6:42 am, August 26th, 2014 - 16 comments
Billed as “Decision 2014 Part 1”, Here’s Michael Hurst staring as John Key’s office…
Labour policy
Written By: - Date published: 11:46 am, August 25th, 2014 - 24 comments
Because of the technical illiteracy of the political committee that appears to have run the development of the Labour website, their extensive list of policies tends to be unreachable. I eventually found the useful page and I’m giving their website a hand using The Standard’s search engine optimization.
ImperatorFish: Dirty Politics book raises suspicions of broader hacking agenda
Written By: - Date published: 5:27 pm, August 19th, 2014 - 7 comments
Scott investigates a crime wave that may or may not have any connection with Nicky Hager.
Well-known conspiracy theorist
Written By: - Date published: 12:52 pm, August 15th, 2014 - 13 comments
It’s John Key. In a wide-ranging interview, he tried to explain how “the left” conspired to ensure over the last three days that they burnt an effigy of him, used a few swear words about him on You-Tube, ran a satirical video, and Nicky Hager launched a book at the normal after-work time! No wonder his minders would rather he didn’t do stand-ups.
ImperatorFish: A message from the CEO of the Taxpayers’ Onion
Written By: - Date published: 3:12 pm, August 14th, 2014 - 2 comments
Scott brings us this important info on how to set up your totally independent lobby group successfully.
ImperatorFish: A statement from the Israel Defence Force
Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, August 5th, 2014 - 81 comments
The indiscriminate and criminal slaughter of children and civilians of Gaza perpetrated by the fearlessly over-armed IDF must make every Israeli or fellow traveller armchair warrior grasp their groin in total excitement.
ImperatorFish: I did not order this – again
Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, July 29th, 2014 - 3 comments
Scott reposts this Nick Smith classic.
What the Herald would like to say
Written By: - Date published: 10:24 am, July 29th, 2014 - 31 comments
Porcupine farm has a ‘real” front page of the Herald – what they’d like to publish if they only could.
What will David Cunliffe be accused of next?
Written By: - Date published: 5:44 pm, July 23rd, 2014 - 112 comments
There have been a number of allegations made against David Cunliffe recently and more can be expected. In an effort to short circuit things I have collected a number of potential claims made by facebook friends. Knock yourselves out and add to the list but in the interests of a positive campaign keep then funny and non defamatory.
Imperator Fish: Read the law
Written By: - Date published: 1:28 pm, July 18th, 2014 - 6 comments
Imperator Fish discovers that the official legal website for law in NZ has been hacked. The law that the Independent Police Conduct Authority (IPCA) used to look at complaints about the interception of communications for Kim DotCom, political parties, and anyone that the police deem as being suspicious was obviously incomplete. So the IPCA used some invisible law in their ruling. Who cares what the real law is anyway?
Imperator Fish: In the Beehive today
Written By: - Date published: 12:14 pm, July 7th, 2014 - 5 comments
This post was put up at Imperator Fish on Sunday evening. It looks like Hekia Parata was following Scott’s script today. 🙂
Sure we need a better class of wingnut commenter, as is frequently suggested here. However surely it is more important that we get a better quality of government minister than ones who think that evidence based policies means only the evidence about how well their party is doing in the polls?
It’s the season of books & posters: write your own
Written By: - Date published: 7:27 am, June 29th, 2014 - 7 comments
It seems to be the season of books and faux movie posters. Mary-Ellen O’Connor has published a Nats’ cook book. Proceeds of the sales will apparently be donated to the “centre left”.
Imperator Fish: My statement to the New Zealand Herald
Written By: - Date published: 2:35 pm, June 26th, 2014 - 14 comments
Scott Yorke writes a statement for Jared Savage at the NZ Herald to conceal while attacking Labour with. As we know Jared will treat this with his usual journalistic caution and therefore briefly read it before publishing. Some of it might be true!!! Labour should be able to prove a negative with no information. That works for that paragon of journalism Cameron Slater, so why should the NZ Herald miss out on the joys of getting headlines out of nothing being verified. In fact the only thing wrong is that the source isn’t National dirty tricks (John Key’s top drawer).
Imperator Fish: Critics slam Labour list selections – again
Written By: - Date published: 2:08 pm, June 23rd, 2014 - 20 comments
Some things are so predicable that Imperator Fish can write about them years ahead. Like the typical reactions to the Labour list. Let us observe the predictability of the right and others to it today. Marks for any bit of originality, but don’t be surprised if there aren’t any.
The police must investigate the alleged Liu donations because…
Written By: - Date published: 5:05 pm, June 22nd, 2014 - 24 comments
Scott Yorke makes some excellent arguments in favour of a full police investigation into the Liu saga.
Imperator Fish: ACT’s new employment relations policy
Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, June 13th, 2014 - 20 comments
The ACT Party today released its employment relations policy, which focuses on providing both employees and employers with flexibility in how they arrange their workplaces. “People may think they know how slavery works, but do they really? It’s an idea that has had some bad publicity over the years, but only because the right model hasn’t been tried. We believe we have developed the right model. A model that gives employees genuine choice about whether or not to become slaves.”
Imperator Fish: Winning in 2014: a prescription for Labour
Written By: - Date published: 11:04 pm, June 10th, 2014 - 38 comments
Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish is well known for his inciteful insightful analysis of many issues. However he has really really outdone himself on this clarion call for rioting clarity. It will bring war unity to all parts of the political spectrum outside of Labour advising them on their strategy. Who can wait to read the few lines of commentary by David Farrar giving the 9th floor position as he quotes this post. Indeed!
Imperator Fish: Move along please, sir
Written By: - Date published: 10:20 pm, June 7th, 2014 - 8 comments
As a senior member of the New Zealand Police, I would like to respond to allegations that the police were remiss in not prosecuting ACT Party MP the Hon John Banks. There is no police corruption here. We may have been disgracefully, eye-wateringly incompetent, but we are not dirty. Now please move along, as we wish to put this entire incident behind us as quickly as we can, before too many questions are asked.
Key “AT HOME” in Whale Oil Cafe
Written By: - Date published: 3:13 pm, May 24th, 2014 - 10 comments
Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, Episode 4. Based on the 1980’s comedy series “Allo, ‘Allo”. starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith his wife. Set in a greasy spoon cafe off K’d. See previous episodes: Starring role Key schemes It is early morning before the Whale Oil cafe has opened. Cameron Rene sits […]
Imperator Fish: Let’s shut down the internet
Written By: - Date published: 1:40 pm, May 22nd, 2014 - 18 comments
There appears to have been a hiatus in the flood of posts today. Perhaps it is because of the wise words of Imperator Fish pausing the world as they consider his wise words… And those of Speaker Carter (who appears to have a problem with most current culture).
Sausagegate
Written By: - Date published: 12:27 pm, May 12th, 2014 - 76 comments
It just goes to show how National’s luck is running. John Key has arguably committed the offence of treating by handing out free sausages and has sabotaged the fundraising attempts of a couple of Queenstown kids. Now imagine if Cameron Slater had his hands on this story …
ImperatorFish: A statement from John Key
Written By: - Date published: 6:31 pm, May 5th, 2014 - 8 comments
I want to make it absolutely clear that the National Party are not in any way under the influence of Big Tobacco…
Right thinking: Just looking after the investor
Written By: - Date published: 10:31 am, May 2nd, 2014 - 10 comments
Imperator Fish nails the essential relationship of a National/Act caucus with donations. “Why should a good hard-working minister have to resign over such a minor thing? All he did was put a little pressure on the police. Where’s the harm in that? Isn’t that what we pay our MPs for? To look after our interests and help us when we get into bother?” “Mr Liu invested a lot of money with the National Party. Isn’t he entitled to see a return on his investment?”
Key Announces National’s Job’s Policy.
Written By: - Date published: 6:29 pm, April 30th, 2014 - 1 comment
‘Allo, Allo, Allo, Allo – Based on the 1980’s Comedy Series, “Allo, allo” – Starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith. Episode Three. (See previous episodes) “Cameron Slater gets starring role in tvnz drama” “Key schemes with media at whaleoil cafe“ By Susan Nact It is just before opening time at the […]
LocalBodies: King Luddite and the Green Wave
Written By: - Date published: 11:41 am, April 28th, 2014 - 31 comments
King Luddite was resolute in his belief in the power of black gold and he decided to make a public stand against the green tidal wave that was rapidly approaching his small kingdom. On September the 20th he decided would place his throne on the nearest beach and, with his ministers standing behind him, command that the wave come no further. He had once heard a story of another king who had done something similar and thought it sounded like a good idea. Of course he had never been a good history scholar and he had never bothered to consult his wise men.
Imperator Fish: A sacred day
Written By: - Date published: 10:54 am, April 25th, 2014 - 10 comments
“Today is the day when we remember those who fell.
I plan to honour this sacred day by not indulging in political discourse of any kind until 1:00 pm.
At 1:00 pm the shops open and life returns largely to normal. At 1:00 pm I will resume my ceaseless efforts to destroy this monstrous government.”
ImperatorFish: Judith Collins explains
Written By: - Date published: 8:14 am, April 18th, 2014 - 30 comments
Judith can’t believe she has to explain this all again
ImperatorFish: A day in the life of Simon Bridges
Written By: - Date published: 3:50 pm, April 10th, 2014 - 8 comments
ImperatorFish generously allows us to repost some of his posts. It was impossible to resist this satire.
“Just asked Hekia what I should do. I told her I feel like I’m the weakest link in the entire Cabinet. I could swear I saw relief on her face as I said it. “Don’t you dare leave,” she told me.“
Winning song urges Key to leave politics
Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, April 7th, 2014 - 7 comments
Tracy Whatshite, Cadet Reporter, attended the “Bellies” (held at Bellamy’s) and found out who the winners were in this year’s competition for the Best Political Song of 2014. She spoke with the judge Frankie Stevens.
“Competition was particularly intense this year and the top entries included some old favourites, but also some surprizing new comers,” he said.
IF: A day in the life of Matthew Hooton
Written By: - Date published: 7:39 am, March 25th, 2014 - 32 comments
[Satire] I has a dream… Winston retired from politics and went on to set up a bird rescue centre in a remote spot in the Raukumura Range, but the centre was burned down after two teenagers high on glue broke in and set it alight. The delicious smells of hundreds of roasted native birds attracted the attentions of the poor for miles around… desperate and hungry people tore at each other to get into the still-burning sanctuary… I awoke in a fever and ran to my computer, and in seconds flat I had my NBR column finished.
- OzAsia festival 2024: a celebration of Asian culture and art – and what it means to be Asian-Austr...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tets Kimura, Adjunct Lecturer, Creative Arts, Flinders University Xplorer Media/Adelaide Festival Centre The well-documented history of Asian mass migration to modern Australia dates from the gold rush era in the mid-19th century. With a history that is longer a century and ...3 days ago - Major parties making gains in TPU-Curia poll
The major parties have gained - with National regaining 3.9 points - at the expense of the minor parties. ...3 days ago - NZ’s Treaty Principles Bill passes first reading after Māori MP evicted over haka
RNZ News New Zealand’s controversial Treaty Principles Bill passed its first reading in Parliament today and will now go to the Justice Committee for consideration as the national Hīkoi continued its journey to the capital. Opposition Te Pati Māori’s Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke was suspended from the House following a haka. Maipi-Clarke ...3 days ago
- Watch: Labour’s Willie Jackson ejected from house for calling David Seymour a liar during Trea...
Labour's Māori Development spokesperson was the first to be ejected from the House after calling David Seymour a "liar" - breaking Parliament's rules. ...3 days ago
- There is reliable evidence social media harms young people – debates about it are a misdirection
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Danielle Einstein, Adjunct Fellow, School of Psychological Sciences, Macquarie University Tanya Gorelova/Pexels The Australian government is developing legislation that will ban children under 16 from social media. There has been a huge public debate about whether there is sufficient direct evidence ...3 days ago
- Politics with Michelle Grattan: shadow communications minister David Coleman says misinformation leg...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra The government has embarked on a raft of new online safety measures aimed at protecting Australians from the excesses of misinformation and social harm online. However, these policies have been met with backlash. Experts ...3 days ago
- ASIC’s lawsuit against Cbus has put the big super funds on notice
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Natalie Peng, Lecturer in Accounting, The University of Queensland Yuri A/Shutterstock Does your superannuation fund also provide you with insurance? Many of us are automatically enrolled without even realising. Now, the way super funds handle such claims has been thrust into ...3 days ago
- Live: The Treaty Principles Bill has passed its first reading
Te Pāti Māori's Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke was suspended from the house for interrupting the vote on the Treaty Principles Bill's first reading with a haka. ...3 days ago
- Uniformed Defence Force Should Not Be Used As Strike Breakers
“In a modern liberal democracy, any deployment of the armed forces in employment relations is a drastic step, and should be avoided at all costs,” said Wagstaff. ...3 days ago - House suspended as haka interrupts first reading of the Treaty Principles Bill
Speaker Gerry Brownlee has suspended the House of Representatives after a haka, led by Te Paati Māori and performed by members in the public gallery, interrupted the first reading of the Treaty Principles Bill. As thousands continue to protest and hīkoi around Aotearoa, the first reading of the Treaty Principles ...3 days ago - Watch: Haka interrupts vote for the Treaty Principles Bill
As Opposition MPs and the public gallery stood to perform Ka Mate, Speaker Gerry Brownlee suspended the sitting. ...3 days ago
- Labour’s Willie Jackson ejected from house for calling David Seymour a liar during Treaty Prin...
Labour's Māori Development spokesperson has been ejected from the House after calling David Seymour a "liar" - breaking Parliament's rules. ...3 days ago
- Waitangi Tribunal demands release of Te Aka Whai Ora documents
A treaty lawyer says she can't recall the tribunal issuing a directive like this before. ...3 days ago
- Live: Labour MP Willie Jackson excused from house after calling David Seymour a liar
A fiery debate has begun as the bill has its first reading in the House, and thousands continue a hīkoi towards Wellington. ...3 days ago
- Australia will impose a ‘digital duty of care’ on tech companies to reduce online harm. It’s a...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lisa M. Given, Professor of Information Sciences & Director, Social Change Enabling Impact Platform, RMIT University MART PRODUCTION/Pexels In an escalation of its battle with big tech, the federal government has announced it plans to impose a “digital duty of care” ...3 days ago
- To move or not to move: is it cheaper to find a new place or stay when your rent increases by 10%?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Park Thaichon, Associate Professor of Marketing, University of Southern Queensland fizkes/Shutterstock Your landlord has just raised your rent by 10% and your mind starts running the numbers – should you cop it sweet or look to move? It’s a familiar scenario ...3 days ago
- What causes the itch in mozzie bites? And why do some people get such a bad reaction?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Cameron Webb, Clinical Associate Professor and Principal Hospital Scientist, University of Sydney Arthur Poulin/Unsplash Are you one of these people who loathes spending time outdoors at dusk as the weather warms and mosquitoes start biting? Female mosquitoes need blood to ...3 days ago
- If our hot water heaters ran off daytime solar, we would slash emissions and soak up cheap energy
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Baran Yildiz, Senior lecturer in Renewable Energy Engineering, UNSW Sydney nikkytok/Shutterstock Your hot shower or bath uses 15-30% of your household’s total energy, second only to the heating and cooling of air. More than half of all Australian households rely ...3 days ago
- Live: Parliament sits to debate Treaty Principles Bill
A fiery debate has begun as the bill has its first reading in the House, and thousands continue a hīkoi towards Wellington. ...3 days ago
- Hundreds of Israel lobbyists ‘writing America’s news’, reveals new probe
Pacific Media Watch Hundreds of former employees of Israel lobbying groups such as AIPAC, StandWithUs and CAMERA are working in top newsrooms across the United States, writing and producing America’s news — including on Israel-Palestine, reports a new investigation. These outlets include MSNBC, The New York Times, CNN and Fox ...3 days ago
- Review: Crowded House gets Ōtautahi breaking the rules
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- Christopher Luxon gives scathing appraisal of Treaty Principles Bill ahead of first reading
The Prime Minister has given a scathing appraisal of the bill on the day of its first reading. ...3 days ago
- The House: It’s all politics
In Parliament, anything and everything can be political including things as innocuous as playground equipment, clothing, colours, and even eating takeaways. ...3 days ago
- Waitangi Tribunal demands release Te Aka Whai Ora documents
A treaty lawyer says she can't recall the tribunal issuing a directive like this before. ...3 days ago
- Christopher Luxon gives scathing appraisal of Treaty Principles Bill at its first reading
The Prime Minister has given a scathing appraisal of the bill on the day of its first reading. ...3 days ago
- Nationalism is surging – changing the way companies do business overseas
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sihong Wu, Lecturer, School of Business, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau The resurgence of nationalism across the globe is not just a political issue. It’s emerging as a powerful force that multinational companies cannot afford to ignore. Recent events such ...3 days ago
- Menopause is having a moment. How a new generation of women are shaping cultural attitudes
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Bridgette Glover, PhD Candidate in Media and Communications, University of New England From hot flashes to hysteria, film and TV have long represented menopause as scary, emotional and messy. Recently, celebrities have been sharing their personal menopause experiences on social media, ...3 days ago
- The case for reading books about animals wearing clothes
In light of Gloriavale’s reluctant acceptance of Winnie-the-Pooh, Claire Mabey argues in favour of the wider canon of anthropomorphic animal literature. There is nothing more bleak than the banning of books and the curtailment of reading. Control what people read and you control what they think, and how they behave. ...3 days ago
- Hīkoi day four: Setting off from Huntly on way to Wellington – bill reading
RNZ News Thousands of people are continuing their North Island hīkoi as the legislation they are protesting against, the Treaty Principles Bill, gets its first reading in Parliament today. The hīkoi enters day four and headed off from Huntly, destined for Rotorua today, after it advanced through Auckland Tāmaki Makaurau ...4 days ago
- Coldplay and 57,000 babies at Eden Park
Review: Everything happens all at once at Coldplay’s sold-out show. About 15 minutes into Music of the Spheres, I realised that we were all just big babies. When Coldplay emerged for their first song, our compostable plastic wristbands lit up around Eden Park, delighting us all. Minutes later, Chris Martin ...4 days ago
- Health NZ Commissioner steps in to stop staff losing Milo
The man in charge of the country's public health system has stepped in to ensure all staff can still have a drink of Milo at work. ...4 days ago
- Inland Revenue calls in debt collectors over overseas student debt
Around 1000 Kiwis working in Australia have begun repaying some of their student loan debt in the last three months, an IRD manager says. ...4 days ago
- Incorrect patient data found during system upgrades at Auckland’s hospitals
A team is working to correct and update this, Te Whatu Ora spokesperson says. ...4 days ago
- Dear Donald, here’s why you should cut NZ a break in the tariff torrent
Ten irrefutable reasons for the incoming president to exempt plucky little New Zealand from import tax hikes. The former and future president, Donald J Trump, has been re-elected on a platform pledging new and universal import tariffs of 10%-20%. The challenge for New Zealand politicians and officials is to somehow ...4 days ago
- Donald Trump picks Matt Gaetz to serve as attorney general
The congressman, who remains under investigation for sexual misconduct, said it would "be an honour to serve" in the role. ...4 days ago
- A 41-million-digit prime number is the biggest ever found – but mathematicians’ search for perfe...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Voight, Professor of Mathematics , University of Sydney Imagine a number made up of a vast string of ones: 1111111…111. Specifically, 136,279,841 ones in a row. If we stacked up that many sheets of paper, the resulting tower would stretch into ...4 days ago
- Elon Musk has turned X into a globally influential media platform – and there’s more to come
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lewis Mitchell, Professor of Data Science; Director, Adelaide Data Science Centre, University of Adelaide kovop/Shutterstock During the recent United States presidential election campaign, tech billionaire Elon Musk’s social media platform X (formerly Twitter) saw record high usage. The platform – ...4 days ago
- The NZ government’s plan to withhold COVID inquiry findings until 2026 leaves the country ill-prep...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shaun Hendy, Professor of Physics, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Getty Images The first report from a Royal Commission of Inquiry to review New Zealand’s response to the COVID pandemic was due to be released this month. ...4 days ago
- 6 things to do if your child’s weight is beyond the ideal range – and 1 thing to avoid
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nick Fuller, Clinical Trials Director, Department of Endocrinology, RPA Hospital, University of Sydney JPC-PROD/Shutterstock One of the more significant challenges we face as parents is making sure our kids are growing at a healthy rate. To manage this, we take them ...4 days ago
- ‘Catastrophic declines’: massive data haul reveals why so many plants and animals suffer after f...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Don Driscoll, Professor in Terrestrial Ecology, Deakin University The megafires that tore through Australia’s forests in 2019–20 burnt more than ten million hectares. The tragedy prompted a massive research effort to understand how plants and animals were affected. So what did ...4 days ago
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