LocalBodies: King Luddite and the Green Wave

Written By: - Date published: 11:41 am, April 28th, 2014 - 31 comments
Categories: greens, john key, Satire - Tags:

Once upon a time there lived an amiable king who was generally well regarded for his relaxed demeanor and his friendly smile. While he had been called the smiling executioner in a past, most of his subjects thought of him as a good bloke and a dab hand with a barbecue and he left most of the dirty work to his ministers. King Luddite loved tradition and the technology of the past and was very generous to his friendsamongst the lords and nobles.

King Luddite lived in a huge palace and he never went anywhere without his bodyguards. He was very careful to not cause unrest and envy amongst his subjects by revealing his true wealth. He would put aside his expensive garments and make sure his bodyguards kept their distance when he regularly walked amongst the poor, dressed as one of them. Although many lived in extreme poverty, he reassured them them that he was doing his best to improve their lot. None of his subjects saw his crossed fingers behind his back as he talked about how things were going to improve. King Luddite was actually not very good at sharing and his first job before becoming King was as a money collector, and he had been very good at it.

King Luddite was the king of a small, relatively isolated kingdom and he spent much timeingratiating himself with the royalty of the largest nations. He enjoyed visiting the grand palaces of those countries and he didn’t want to upset the most powerful kings and Queens if it meant that he could no longer receive invitations to their parties and balls. The king was quite prepared to sacrifice the rights of his own subjects to win favours from the great and mighty of the world.

King Luddite’s belief in the old ways was such that he refused to accept the advice from his wise men. Powerful forces were at work in the world and his advisers regularly warned him of the impending dangers caused by his obsession with the black gold. King Luddite refused to listen as he did not want to give up his lifestyle and that of his affluent noble friends. It was the black gold that powered their luxurious carriages and allowed them to indulge in the benefits provided by the Black Barons. King Luddite was resolute in his belief in the black gold and he had invited the Black Barons into his kingdom to lay waste as they pleased in the search for more of the dangerous substance.

King Luddite’s wise men also warned him about a Green Revolution that was spreading around the world that was rapidly devaluing the black gold and making it redundant. The Black Barons were fighting hard to maintain their supremacy and the value of their black gold by using massive bribes and gifting the world’s rulers. They also spread nasty rumours about those leading the Green Revolution in an attempt to discredit them in the eyes of ordinary people. They likened the revolutionaries to terrorists and communists and questioned their mental health. King Luddite himself never let an opportunity pass where he could ridicule the revolutionaries and warn his subjects of the terrible things that would befall them if the green ideas took hold.

King Luddite was resolute in his belief in the power of black gold and he decided to make a public stand against the green tidal wave that was rapidly approaching his small kingdom. On September the 20th he decided would place his throne on the nearest beach and, with his ministers standing behind him, command that the wave come no further. He had once heard a story of another king who had done something similar and thought it sounded like a good idea. Of course he had never been a good history scholar and he had never bothered to consult his wise men.

 

Reposted from the original at Local Bodies. bsprout got this about right (there is a survey on the post at his site) – especially when pointing out the willful ignorance of King Luddite.

31 comments on “LocalBodies: King Luddite and the Green Wave”

  1. Disraeli Gladstone 1

    “He had once heard a story of another king who had done something similar and thought it sounded like a good idea. Of course he had never been a good history scholar and he had never bothered to consult his wise men.”

    Of course, Cnut’s whole point was that his wise men were wrong…

    So, you know, a little irony on the being a good history scholar bit.

    • Puckish Rogue 1.1
      Aw hey cut them some slack, it can’t be easy coming in and geeing the troops up when the MSM run stories like this:

      http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11244342

      [deleted]

      [lprent: And that has to do with the greens or oil or this post or the comment you replied to – how?

      As far as I can see the link to John Armstrong’s opinion is all about Labour. It you want to raise a topic of your own, then that is what OpenMike is for. Use that.

      Four week ban for diversion trolling. Next time I see you do that particular tactic again you’ll get a permanent ban. Consider that the next time you want to jerk off in public. ]

    • blue leopard 1.2

      Disraeli, this was my initial reaction, however King Luddite, clearly didn’t know this aspect of Cnut’s intentions (nor the outcome) – hence the reference to not knowing much about history.

    • Disraeli, I had read about King Cnut before putting up the post and admit I took writers’ license with my version and went with the view that most people would think of the stupidity of trying to hold back a natural force.

      “Cnut’s name is popularly invoked in the context of the legendary story of King Canute and the waves, associated with the futility of “turning back the tide” of an inexorable event.” Wikipedia

      As for the advisor bit, it is a grey area because one could also say it is about listening and responding to the correct advice. I’m sure Key mainly listens to advice within in his own circle of neoliberal, fossil fueled thinkers (The Hollow Men).

      Great to see all the historians bubbling up, however, as I will probably learn more 😉

      [lprent: added the pseudonym to the handle as you did further down the comments. ]

  2. greywarbler 2

    Reading the report of King Cnut on wikipedia, the inference of the action of his sitting by the sea and commanding the waves not to rise and wet him, is that he wanted it to be known that he wasn’t prepared to try and do everything demanded or expected of him, because all power is limited. And no doubt that the wisdom of his advisors was limited in the same way.
    And also that nature was the ultimate power.

    This has not changed in the modern age. But people get broken in the insane desire to control nature by men wanting baubles as well as power and allegiance. (See NZ c2014)

    To be bothered to go through such an elaborate tableau, Cnut must have been trying to make a strong point to all. And he was a powerful king but apparently one under pressure.

    Cnut the Great[2] (Old Norse: Knútr inn ríki;[3] c. 985 or 995 – 12 November 1035), more commonly known as Canute, was a king of Denmark, England, Norway, and parts of Sweden, together often referred to as the Anglo-Scandinavian or North Sea Empire.
    After his death, the deaths of his heirs within a decade, and the Norman conquest of England in 1066, his legacy was largely lost to history. Historian Norman Cantor has made the statement that he was “the most effective king in Anglo-Saxon history”, despite his not being Anglo-Saxon.[4]

    • Disraeli Gladstone 2.1

      Aye, in the original story, Cnut was showing that his power was limited. Later, it was also made that his advisers had been flattering the new king and his powers so Cnut went out to prove them wrong by showing he wasn’t all powerful.

      It’s been lost now in a sea of historical ignorance to the point people will regularly quote someone out of their depth as being “like Canute trying to hold back the waves” as if Cnut really thought he could stop the tides.

      • Jim Nald 2.1.1

        Ah. Was not aware of the King Cnut bit.
        I thought some kind of oblique reference was being made to the parting of the RED sea.

  3. vto 3

    Now this is entirely more like it….

    The right like to call the greens luddites, but the evidence is clearly that it is the right that are the luddites.

    Call them on it.

  4. blue leopard 4

    Bravo Bsprout, top marks to you!

  5. Bill 5

    Thanks for the enjoyable read.

    Nitpicking coming up.

    The Luddites were a genuine, intelligent expression of opposition to low wage, industrial or mechanised manufacturing practices that were robbing them (or that were about to rob them) of their livelihoods. Nothing stupid or backwards about them. True that they lost their battle against the (arguably) hugely regressive wave of industrial manufacturing that replaced higher skilled cottage industry type labour.

    • Naturesong 5.1

      It is a little sad that Luddites place in our lexicon is that they are synomymous with ignorance and fear of change.

      I brief look at the luddites show that they weren’t ignorant or unthinking, but a highly organised militant worker movement.

      While I would not condone their methods in this day and age (historical events must be viewed in context), their aims were heroic, if misguided – but what do you do when your entire craft is on the verge of being wiped out, you have no power and are looking at a life of starvation, disease and begging?

      • greywarbler 5.1.1

        but what do you do when your entire craft is on the verge of being wiped out, you have no power and are looking at a life of starvation, disease and begging?

        Sounds like NZ after abandoning all possibilities of business enterprise at reasonable levels of profitability in favour of Queen Daisy Dairy. While the unemployed are treated like criminals on home detention reporting daily.

    • Sadly true, Bill. Like many words they distort over time and the origins are lost, like ‘gay’ and ‘awful’.
      http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/words-literally-changed-meaning-through-2173079

  6. aerobubble 6

    On holding back the Green wave. S.Jones said something about Green policies and why he was nolonger staying with Labour. Exactly how does he expect to do any good in Pacific fisheries without using the words, sustainable and resilience? Pacific Island nations are seeing their fish stock being depleted, their very life blood of their food chain, and Key is going to send Shane who can’t talk the game needed.

    • Jenny 6.1

      “Key is going to send Shane who can’t talk the game needed.

      Oh but he is.

      Shane was plucked from the front bench of the Labour Party because he was talking exactly the game needed. The game needed by the big factory fishing companies and the fossil fuel companies, both who strongly resent any talk of sustainability.

      In September the Small Island Developing States are holding a United Nations conference in Apia, the leading topics are, partnerships in sustainability, renewable energy, climate change, all the things that this government don’t want discussed.

      “Samoa has selected as the overarching theme of the conference the Sustainable Development of Small Island Developing States Through Genuine and Durable Partnerships.

      The Theme highlights the high regard Samoa has for the critical role, the contribution and strength of its partnerships with other governments, institutions and major groups in progressing its sustainable economic development agenda.

      The success of these partnerships are demonstrated with Samoa’s graduation from the list of LDCs, as well as support for efforts in areas such as climate change adaptation and mitigation, renewable energy, resilience to natural disasters, disaster risk reduction, sustainable management of our oceans and forests and many others.”

      The SIDS conference is a clash with New Zealand’s general election, and National will not be willingly to release any senior MPs to go to the Apia conference.

      Why not Shane Jones?

      His game talk has all been about opposing sustainability.

  7. The Real Matthew 7

    The Green wave is akin to New Zealand being issued with a Tsunami warnings from an Earthquake in South America. Often talked about but never eventuates.

    Green technology will in time come into effect as it becomes cost effective to do so. Sadly for the Green Party (and perhaps the world depending on your point of view) we aren’t yet at that time.

    Technology like solar power is not yet at a commercially viable stage.

    One of the reasons socialist Europe is still caught in economic headwinds is due to the insistence of green energy policies.

    And with the Tasmanian experience of green government being a total disaster we can only hope voters see sense on September 20 and vote for a party other than the Greens.

    • greywarbler 7.2

      TRM
      I have noticed before you are airily, eerily into fairy tales and cargo cult mentality. Just wait and the gods will deliver to you. Do nothing but wait hopefully. Luckily Shackleton didn’t have you on his team when exploring in the southern waters and running into trouble.

      Waiting for other people to do something and it to become commercially viable is like waiting on the beach to see if there is a tsunami. Best to move now and take some action while the beach is clear and movement is relatively easy.

    • Macro 7.3

      And what about the New Zealand experience of a National Government being a total disaster? How do you think NZ’s will vote then?

    • Colonial Viper 7.4

      Technology like solar power is not yet at a commercially viable stage.

      This is the stupidest comment ever. For instance, farmers make commercial use of solar power every day to grow their crops, dickhead.

      The New York Times reports that the Koch Brothers is now making a concerted push against solar power, which they see as a threat to their fossil fuel business.

      The truth of course is that the oil industry is the energy industry which is not viable. It relies on massive state subsidies to operate – tax payer paid for highways and roads, massive tax breaks for new exploration and drilling, cheap low royalties to governments, environmental costs and risks unaccounted for and passed on to the general public.

    • Colonial Viper 7.5

      The truth of the matter is The Real Matthew, is that you are a member of a Cult of Death.

      Our entire way of life, the technology and civilisation able to sustain 7B human souls worldwide is based on a fossil fuel energy whose affordability is going away year by year.

      For you to keep opposing sensible energy alternatives is to actively push for the death of many of these 7B people. You really are a dickhead.

    • Draco T Bastard 7.6

      Commercial viability isn’t why we do things such as solar power.

    • lprent 7.7

      Technology like solar power is not yet at a commercially viable stage.

      Bullshit. Just shows that you’re too lazy to bother going to examine the current technology and instead probably relying on technically illiterate dorks like yourself.

      My parents in Rotorua put a rather smallish solar panel array on top of their garage feeding DC via a rectifier into the AC system of their house and the grid. Last time I looked it was providing something like 95% of the total power consumption on the house.

      Even with the differential prices and offered by their power company and reduced winter usage, it looks like about a payback on capital and alternate uses of their capital in well less than 10 years. But being superannuitants looking at the massive price rises in power over the last two decades, they’re mostly interested in that it reduces their risk on a fixed income from the crazy profit taking in the power generation industry.

      They also have solar panels on their mobile home and launch to keep the batteries topped up. If you look around these days you’re be surprised in the numbers of places that solar is being used.

      It is quite viable on stand-alone and in grid-connected personal installations. The only technology that isn’t up to commercial scratch at present is the battery technology and the loss going to AC. I’m thinking about how hard it’d be to shift my apartment’s needs to short run DC at present

      • RedLogix 7.7.1

        Here in Victoria you see solar panels all over the place. They’ve become very mainstream and quite unremarkable.

        • miravox 7.7.1.1

          +1 for rural Austria and Southern Germany. Completely normal to see houses covered in solar panels and solar ‘farms’ near big factories like the BMW complex near Munich.

        • lprent 7.7.1.2

          It is pretty remarkable what has been going on there with solar. Even a mild incentive with access to the grid was enough to get it started. Even after the incentive was removed it actually seem to speed it up.

          Power companies according to reports are now trying to drop the price paid at the grid.

  8. fambo 8

    Not many people know that England was part of a Danish empire before the Normans.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnut_the_Great

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    Current and former NZDF top brass are being publicly grilled this week by the hit and run inquiry over their public responses to allegations of civilian casualties. Previously, they've claimed there were no casualties, a position which led them to lie to Ministers and to the public. Now, they're saying ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • “Homosexuality is same-sex attraction and relationships, not heterosexuals with delusions of gende...
    by Rafael D. Quiles (gender-critical gay man from Puerto Rico) The writing on the wall is right in people’s faces and people just don’t see it or don’t want to. What could actually possess a heterosexual male to want to feminize himself and claim that he is a lesbian? Because ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Trump: “Where’s my favourite dictator?”
    From the Wall Street Journal:Inside a room of the ornately decorated Hotel du Palais during last month’s Group of Seven summit in Biarritz, France, President Trump awaited a meeting with Egyptian President Abdel Fattah Al Sisi. Mr. Trump looked over a gathering of American and Egyptian officials and called out in ...
    1 week ago
  • Magdalen Burns, 1983-2019, fighter for women’s liberation
    by the Redline blog collective At Redline we are very saddened to hear of the death of Magdalen Burns who passed away on the morning of Friday, September 13 (British time). Magdalen was a great fighter for the rights of women in general and lesbian women in particular, a defender ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Parliament and the Executive
    The Brexit issue has certainly brought with it a series of apparently difficult constitutional issues, many of them concerning the respective roles of the executive and parliament. Most of them arise because of the unwillingness of MPs, despite their professions to the contrary, to be bound by a constitutional rarity ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • The Abigail Article; Martyn Bradbury’s Article, and My Response
    . . This blogpost is different to my usual format of reporting on issues… Since July 1011, I have blogged on a variety of political issues; near always political and/or environmental; mostly highly critical of the previous National Government. Other issues included Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands and repression of ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    1 week ago
  • Police will have to wear silly Buckingham Palace hats from now on, says Police Minister
    Those close to the Police Minister believe the initiative may be the result of Nash “seeing a great deal” on AliExpress. In a move that comes seemingly out of nowhere, Police Minister Stuart Nash announced this afternoon that he expects all frontline staff to don bearskin hats, famously worn by ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • A sensible crackdown
    The government has released its Arms Legislation Bill, containing the second tranche of changes to gun laws following the March 15 massacre. And it all looks quite sensible: a national gun register, higher penalties for illegal possession and dealing, tighter restrictions on arms dealers and shooting clubs, and a shorter ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • California bans private prisons
    Private prisons are a stain on humanity. Prison operators explicitly profit from human misery, then lobby for longer prisons terms so they can keep on profiting. And in the US, prison companies run not only local and state prisons, but also Donald Trump's immigration concentration camps. Faced with this moral ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Why PPPs are a bad idea
    When National was in power, they were very keen on Public-Private Partnerships (PPPs) - basicly, using private companies to finance public infrastructure as a way of hiding debt from the public. They were keen on using them for everything - roads, schools, hospitals. But as the UK shows, that "service" ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • A Movement That No Longer Moves.
    Moving And Shaking: There was a time when people spoke matter-of-factly about the “labour movement” – a political phenomenon understood to embrace much more than the Labour Party. Included within the term’s definition was the whole trade union movement – many of whose members looked upon the Labour Party as ...
    1 week ago
  • NZ ‘left’ politically embracing extreme postmodernism
    by Philip Ferguson Much of the left, even people who formally identify as marxists, have collapsed politically in the face of postmodern gender theory of the sort pioneered by American philosopher Judith Butler. For Butler even biological sex is socially constructed. “If the immutable character of sex is contested, perhaps ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • The obvious question
    The media is reporting that the (alleged) Labour party sexual assaulter has resigned from their job at Parliament, which means hopefully he won't be turning up there making people feel unsafe in future. Good. But as with everything about this scandal, it just raises other questions. Most significantly: why the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly
    By Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern I am every bit as angry as you are. I am every bit as disappointed as you must be. The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • This is why people hate property developers
    Property developers think there is an "oversupply" of houses in Auckland:High turnover rates and falling prices may be a sign that there are too many new houses going in to some parts of Auckland, commentators say. [...] Property developer David Whitburn said there was a "bit of an oversupply" in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Australia to Pacific: “Fuck you, you can all drown”
    World leaders are meeting in New York in two weeks for the 2019 Climate Action Summit, where they are expected to announce new and more ambitious targets to stop the world from burning. But the Australian Prime Minister won't be there, despite being in the USA at the time:Scott Morrison ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Implausible ignorance
    Labour Party president Nigel Haworth resigned yesterday over the party's sexual assault scandal. But while that's good news, its unlikely to take away the stench of a coverup. Because according to Paula Bennett in Parliament yesterday, pretty much everyone in the Prime Minister's office was involved as well:I have been ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour’s Fatal Flaw.
     Two-Faced? Labour insiders' commitment to the neoliberal status quo puts them at odds with their party’s membership; its trade union affiliates; and a majority of Labour voters, but this only serves to strengthen the perception they have of themselves as a special elite. Among the lesser breeds, they’ll talk up a ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Ten reasons the Tories do NOT want an election
    There has been a lot of talk about Boris Johnson wanting an election, and he has blustered with great gusto about 'chicken' Jeremy Corbyn refusing one, but I think there are many reasons why he is secretly glad he has been refused the opportunity:The Tories are an utter rabble,tearing themselves ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Prorogation Illegal, rule Scottish judges
    Scottish appeal court judges have declared that Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend parliament in the run-up to the October Brexit deadline is unlawful. The three judges, chaired by Lord Carloway, Scotland’s most senior judge, overturned an earlier ruling that the courts did not have the powers to interfere in the prime ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Let me explain what I meant by Everyday New Zealanders
    By Simon Bridges. The following is a press release from the office of Simon Bridges, leader of The National Party. Key ora, New Zealand. Happy Maori Language Week. Look, I’m writing to you today because I want to clear something up. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle around some things ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Yes, the SIS is subject to the Public Records Act
    I understand there's some stuff going round about how the SIS "was removed from the list of public offices covered by the Public Records Act in 2017". The context of course being their records derived from US torture, which will be disposed of or sealed. The good news is that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • An evidence-based discussion of the Canadian fluoride/IQ study
    Dr. Christopher Labos and Jonathan Jarry discuss the recent Canadian fluoride/IQ research. They provide an expert analysis of the paper and its problems. Click on image to go to podcast. The critical debate about the recent ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: Australia in denial
    Australia is burning down again, and meanwhile its natural disaster minister is denying climate change:Australia’s minister responsible for drought and natural disasters, David Littleproud, has said that he doesn’t “know if climate change is manmade”. Clarifying earlier comments that the question is “irrelevant” when considering the Coalition government’s response to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Philippines activist speaking on the Duterte tyranny
    Auckland Philippines Solidarity is excited to host Professor Judy Taguiwalo for a speaking tour of NZ in September. She is a well-known activist in the Philippines and was a political prisoner under the Marcos dictatorship. Professor Taguiwalo briefly served as a Cabinet member under President Duterte but was forced from ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • Disgust
    I have no special insights to offer on the Labour sexual assault coverup. All I have is disgust. Disgust that an organisation could fail its people so badly. Disgust that they punished the victims rather than the perpetrator. Disgust that its party hacks are apparently blaming the victims for demanding ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Speak Up for Women calls out Greens’ censorship
    This open letter to the Green Party was penned after an opinion piece by Jill Abigail, a feminist and founding member of the party, was censored by the Greens’ leadership. (Redline has reprinted her article here).The intolerance of the Green Party leaders and their acceptance of the misogyny of gender ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • Member’s Day: End of Life Choice, part 3
    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    2 weeks ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 weeks ago

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