Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
9:06 am, August 2nd, 2019 - 19 comments
Categories: crosby textor, cycleway, humour, making shit up, national, parody, same old national, Satire, transport, you couldn't make this shit up -
Tags: ben guerin, sean topham
Obtained from a reliable source …
Memo from Crosby Textor
To all clients
You may be aware that the Guardian, that scurrilous left wing attack publication, has made unfounded allegations against this firm and its employees.
Crosby Textor, or as we are now known as CTF Partners, continues to offer our clients an unparalleled range of experience and an unrivalled record of success.
It is correct that the firm hires children of Conservative donors and the offspring of prominent media executives at right wing news outlets. But they are selected entirely on merit, such as which school they went to, how much their parents have donated to the Conservative Party and how much inside running they can provide with the media. Describing this firm as a kindergarten is a baseless distortion. Our younger staff members can be more accurately described as over testosteroned teenagers rather than badly behaved infants.
The firm has a very productive relationship with New Zealanders Sean Topham and Ben Guerin. They are worth the retainer of £10,000 per month to run digital campaigns.
And claims that Mr Topham has a reputation for misogyny are also totally unwarranted, so unwarranted that he will engage his high price lawyers at any stage to suppress these allegations.
As for the claims that this firm:
these are all examples of fake news. This firm is that influential that shadowy forces are conspiring to take us down.
Surely the arguments in favour of banning Facebook as a threat to democracy are growing in legitimacy.
Way beyond a threat, sadly.
As the UK investigation post Cambridge Analytica's Brexit efforts stated.
You can no longer have a democratic process with the 5,000 personality points, AI, no end of material from StalkBook etc focused on the swinging voters.
Their CEO had the whine that we just happened to be first and got unfairly focused on. wah wah
Democracy? Threat to civilisation.
Is there a reason why the link to the Guardian article may not be published here. The article should be read by all fair-minded people who believe in fair, genuine and open democracy.
The words "unfounded allegations", appropriately coloured, are in fact a hidden link – click and enjoy!
Thanks, and there is an associated article which is, in fact, the headline of todays edition. It contains a link to the one given above.
Fake news? I blame it on the Russians.
The bogeyman of the Russians, while they are of course active in this area, the real influence is minor to negligible.
Its like in the 50s, it was supposed to be Hollywood ( and its left wing activists) who were supposed to be subverting young minds ..blah blah.
Looking back it was silly idea they could have any chance against the overwhelming conservative narratives.
We've got a few gun emplacements around our coast because "the Russians"
Remarkably similar.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coastal_fortifications_of_New_Zealand#The_%22Russian-scare%22_forts_of_1885
not cool. this crosses the line from parody to a Dirty Politics smear.
If it's a parody then the Guardian is indulging in it.
So if Crosby T is advising the Liberals in Aussie to be anti-Kiwi and screw us over, how should we view them here?
So where is Jacinda ? Bloody near a month since we heard anything sensible from her. Hope she hasn't done a Cameron slater. Mental illness is a proper bitch.
Ian, what do you reckon was the last sensible thing 'we' heard from PM Ardern?
Strange thoughts, and feelings of anger…
“most open and transparent government ever”
That's very crobby texter enny.
This is absolutely offensive.
Topham and Guerin are both previously Young Nats, and helped in the National campaign in 2017, along with Crosby-Textor. They seem to have been more successful since, and so it's prudent for Labour to be very diligent in their visual marketing for the next election.
https://www.newsroom.co.nz/2019/05/29/608592/kiwis-who-helped-get-scomo-across-the-line