The Adventures of CosmoGuy: US Ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa!)
Written By:
- Date published:
1:35 pm, December 29th, 2017 - 3 comments
Categories: humour, International, Satire, us politics -
Tags: donald trump, MAGA, MPEGA, New Zealand, scott brown, Steve Bannon
Christmas Greetings My Leader,
It is I, your intrepid ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa)! Yes, Scott Brown, your most grateful of servants. I know that you haven’t replied to any of my monthly reports since I took up residence here in June which is most likely because you are busy… So here is a ‘Christmas Wrap Up’ of all the awesome ambassador things I’ve been doing over the last six months. I can promise you that the Kiwis love me and greatness is being made!
June:
When I arrived here, I opened your secret MAGA envelope which was waiting at the Russian Embassy in Wellington (did you know that? New Zealand’s capital is called Wellington? Just like the location of my favorite eatery – Kabab Corner – in Boston!). With eyes pricking with pride, I read out Steve Bannon’s secret instructions:
“Dear [Name of campaign contributor inserted here],
Your task is to MAGA in another part of the world! We have investigated New Zealand and found that even though it is a long way away, lot’s of unhappy liberals are fantasizing about moving there to escape our greatness. Your mission is to destroy all hope of New Zealand surviving the greatness of our first 30 years in office. Your instructions will arrive monthly once Jared has fine-tuned the MPEGA ‘Make Planet Earth Great Again’ plan.
Good luck,
Steve (on behalf of Don)”
This was clearly tricky diplomatic code that I found a little bit hard to understand, so I asked my chief attaché (a really friendly old Kiwi guy called James) what it meant by ‘MPEGA’. He replied: ‘It means that you are the perfect candidate for this position, Sir’. James is a great guy. Very affirming. I asked him how Secretary Rex Tillerson’s visit went earlier that month. “Perfectly Apt Sir”, he said.
I also found a letter waiting from a previous ambassador – Carol Moseley Braun – who was here from 1999-2001. James said she was very popular and her letter was very helpful.
Dear Scott,
I heard with interest that you are going to be the Ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa). I hope you enjoy settling into the embassy in the suburb of Woburn. Trust James, he is a top guy. And don’t imagine for a moment that being Ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa) is a good springboard for running for President. I tried that in 2004 and it didn’t work.
Good luck, and trust the Kiwis, they’ll always tell you the truth.
Best wishes, Carol.
The Embassy is in Woburn! This is getting freaky. My second favorite place to eat is the Pintxo Pincho Tapas Bar in Woburn, MA!
July:
I haven’t yet got the next installment of Jared’s plan to MPEGA, so I asked James what his advice was. He suggested an Embassy Xmas Party! Cool idea, because he explained to me that because New Zealand is in the SOUTHERN hemisphere, Xmas is in July. Makes total sense!
The party was themed to the Lord of the Rings. I don’t know much about it as I was busy Making Massachusetts Great Again at the time the movies came out, so I got the office staff to advise me which character I should dress as. James suggested I dress as someone called Grima who was the faithful ambassador to the great wizard Saruman. This sounds perfect! I know that you like some of those grand wizards down south and apparently – according to my staff – Saruman is really like you Don! He’s very powerful and intelligent, has a great army, used to be the LOTR equivalent of a Democrat before realizing they were a pack of losers and went over to the GOP. He’s also been improving the local landscape by harvesting forests and setting up a strong industrial base for his war machine. He even has a huge tower that everyone else envies. Grima sounds a cool guy too. Very influential with the folks of Rohan where he is ambassador, but, hint hint, he does get regular instructions from Saruman. Not even the greatest ambassador can MPEGA if he doesn’t get instructions from his awesome wizard!
August:
No MPEGA instructions yet, but cool stuff is happening here! I overheard James and his colleagues referring to me as ‘CosmoGuy’. I initially thought they might have heard about my money-raising ventures during my college years, but when I asked James he looked blank and explained that this was my NZ Secret Service codename and that in NZ, ‘Cosmo’ is short for ‘cosmically awesome’. These Kiwis are just a little bit cosmically awesome too!
In the weekends, James encouraged me to impress the regular Kiwis by doing stuff in a MPEGA kind of way. So, I’ve been going up the road to a ranchette where I have stabled my appaloosa called Pinky. I ride bare-back wearing only a pair of buckskin chaps – just like I used to when I wanted to blow off steam in the 2010 senate race in Massachusetts, or take some nice snaps to send to Uncle Vlad. James commented that this was likely to create ‘a singular impression’ on Kiwis.
But while I was being chauffeured to the ranchette for the first time, I noticed that everyone was driving on the wrong side of the road! James assured me that that Kiwis normally drive on the correct side of the road, but in honor of the astonishing way that President Trump has turned the world upside down, Kiwi drivers have agreed to drive on the opposite side of the road for the length of my tenure as Ambassador! Remarkable! I’m not sure we’ll even need a MPEGA plan here in New Zealand!
September:
Still no instructions, and all my US staff have now resigned. My Kiwi staff tell me that this is totally normal, and that they’ll be more than happy to help me MPEGA while we wait for replacements (and Jared’s instructions).
James suggested that I call up all my resources to help win the local election in New Zealand. I asked him which party the USA should favor, and he said that this might be confusing, because there were something like seven parties: “However, as you are familiar with Team Red in the US, how about you support Team Red in New Zealand?. So I did. And Team Red WON! Modesty prevents me making too much of my own role, but I think that maybe I did give Kiwis the chance to ponder the exact nature of the diplomatic relationship between our two countries and the consequences of the special moral tone and leadership qualities of our new presidency.
While Ambassadors shouldn’t ‘officially’ interfere in local politics, I was particularly popular after I used my position as Ambassador to run a competition called: ‘Give your US Ambassador a superhero name’ (not CosmoGuy of course, that one is secret!). The Kiwi public came up with some excellent suggestions. My favorite answer was ‘Code Brown’, although having the power of the US intelligence service at my disposal did make me momentarily consider ‘Brown Knows’. I must also mention that James’s eyes did bulge when I considered ‘Downtown Brown’ which he considered to be a ‘most apt rendition of Kiwi vernacular to your particular qualities as an Ambassador’.
October:
Don, get down here! There are total babes in this part of the world. But first I had to deal with some confusion because I am actually the Ambassador to New Zealand AND Samoa. Originally I thought that they were the same country, but they AREN’T and I got to visit Samoa as part of my job! While this point of confusion kept me pondering for the whole plane flight to Apia, events on the ground more than compensated. This is a part of the world where I WISH people knew more about CosmoGuy’s prior life! I made friends will all the local girls and even suggested that some of them apply to ‘work’ at Mar a Lago. Wink wink Don! There was a moment of tension when it looked like a reporter was going to blow out of all proporations this innocent discussion of the kinds of the appropriate work for girls of this level of babe-ness, but James said that he would take care of the press. Such a helpful guy James.
November:
Still no instructions, and the replacement US staff still haven’t arrived, but James is doing a superb job of helping me with the nuances of foreign policy down here. And what a vital month it has been! I was responsible for providing the NZ briefing for you – my fearless leader – on what you might do at the APEC meeting in Vietnam. This was extremely important in case you met Jacinda Ardern, the leader of Team Red and the new Prime Minister of New Zealand (but, confusingly, not Samoa!). I was wondering what to say, as the fact that I have no embassy staff means I still don’t know everything there is to know about New Zealand, but James tipped me off that the New Zealand Prime Minister would secretly love to be mistaken as ‘Justin Trudeau’s wife’. Genius suggestion James — who wouldn’t! I sent off a diplomatic cable to Rex to tee up this brilliant piece of ‘diplomatic chit chat’. I’m sure it made a lasting impression!
Initially, I wasn’t sure what APEC was, and why you – my glorious leader – should be attending, but James explained that it was the Association of Pedophile-Enabling Christians which was going to be vitally important in the run-up to the special Senate election in Alabama. I not sure what pedophile means (Steve Bannon never mentioned it at the secret Ambassador Training School at Trump Tower), but I have first-hand knowledge of how important it is to get decent, typical Republican candidates elected in special Senate elections. And… so much about Roy Moore reminds me of my own glorious run in Massachusetts – the pony riding, the girly attention, the cowboy hats, popping into the mall (to see how my issue of Cosmo was selling). If he can make it in US politics, maybe there is a pathway back for me…
December:
It is a bad month for US Ambassadors around the world. I feel for my buddies. My old bestie Nikki Haley is getting plenty of grief for telling the UN how it should run the world. James suggested that Nikki might be thinking of running for President! Didn’t she get her letter from Carol Moseley Braun? I thought Ambassadors couldn’t possibly run for President. Can they?
Meanwhile, another of my ‘Bass buddies’ (its what we called ourselves at secret Ambassador Training School) – Pete Hoekstra – made a bit of a stinker in the Netherlands. This is what happens when press freedom is allowed to run unchecked. He’ll have plenty of motivation for his part of the MPEGA plan! James mentioned that Pete Hoekstra’s chief attaché was an old friend of his from Chief Attaché School called Hans. I quipped wittily: ‘Man James, I’m glad Hans isn’t as competent as you are! You are like an NZ version of the Deep State!!!’. James replied: ‘An interesting observation Mr Ambassador”.
Now that the New Year is approaching, I’m worried that without instructions I might struggle to MPEGA down here in New Zealand. In fact, it is hard not to take it personally. I asked James about the MPEGA plan and how he thought I was going? His answer: ‘Perfectly satisfactory as far as I am concerned’. Great guy James. Don’t know what I’d do without him. But life has been getting a bit boring so I’ve spent some time checking facts on fox.com and discovered, to my great surprise, that Carol Moseley Braun is actually a Democrat! This was a low moment – how could I have been so gullible! I should have recognized her as one of the enemy from the special session of Steve’s Ambassador Training School titled ‘Recognizing our Enemies Using Gender, Religious and Racial Stereotyping’. The result is that I’ve re-read her letter and now I don’t trust her advice to me at all! Particularly her advice ‘never to run for President as US Ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa!)’? Is this actually, just possibly, a Democrat trick? And it’s given me an absolutely awesome idea….
Smellpir
3 comments on “The Adventures of CosmoGuy: US Ambassador to New Zealand (and Samoa!) ”
- Comments are now closed
- Comments are now closed
CommentsOpinions
Recent Comments
FeedsPartyGovtMedia
- It’s Time to End Gender-Based Violence at Work
Everyone Deserves Safety and Respect at Work November 25 marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. This day reminds us of the urgent need to take action against gender-based violence in workplaces across Aotearoa and the globe. C190 is the Path to Safer Workplaces ILO Convention ...3 hours ago - PM Luxon is house proud as David Seymour continues to push the edges of social division
Mountain Tui is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Luxon Is That Job Interviewee That’s All Sunshine And RainbowsCraig McCulloch (RNZ) has an unbeatable report this morning on Luxon’s reflections of his first year as PM.Allow me to replicate:On ...3 hours ago - Monday 25 November 2024
Maritime workers are joining opposition to the government’s plans for resuming live animal exports on the basis that the country “would benefit from being seen as a kind of modern and progressive exporter”. The TEU is slamming a proposal that would end an invaluable timber machining apprenticeship programme, while the ...4 hours ago
- PM ‘constructively dissatisfied’ with himself
“Look, I don’t really live with regrets,” Luxon said in one of the interviews marking his first year as PM. File photo: Lynn Grieveson/TheKakaKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Monday, November 25: The news: COP29 ...7 hours ago - Team of One
Oh, it's a mystery to me We have a greed, with which we have agreed And you think you have to want more than you need Until you have it all, you won't be freeSongwriter: Eddie VedderToday is the last day to subscribe to Nick’s Kōrero at the original price ...8 hours ago - A Bad Day
8 hours ago - A visitor from the Hawkes Bay rides AT’s buses & trains.
This is a guest post from longtime supporter Mr Plod, whose previous contributions include a proposal that Hamilton become New Zealand’s capital city, an examination on cruise control and speed limits, and that we should switch which side of the road we drive on. Greater Auckland is brought to you by a ...9 hours ago - Bridges challenges Luxon’s foreign policy
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon last Friday appeared to be starting to moderate his pivot to the United States under the foreign policy reset. Back in August he had told Australia’s Lowy Institute last August that New Zealand’s independent foreign policy was a “nonsense”. But in his latest foreign policy speech, ...12 hours ago - 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #47
A listing of 25 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, November 17, 2024 thru Sat, November 23, 2024. Story of the week This week, we again asked Gemini to create a topical summary of the articles we shared during ...18 hours ago - End Game
Related articles belowIntroductionRecently, I’ve been having some delays in putting pen to paper.It’s not because I’m short on words -Verbosity seems to be one of the banes of my life. And it’s not because there isn’t enough content: I just whipped up a long list from the past few days.So, ...1 day ago - Rowdy scrappers, beautiful birds
Who doesn't love to watch Tūī? Who doesn't love those colours, almost too good to be true - the deepest, glossiest, most lustrous of deep blue, the iridescent turquoise, the crisp-as-a-vicar's-collar white tuft?Who doesn't love the way they move, swooping as swift as a jet or occasionally bashing the hell ...1 day ago - Fact brief – Has human-caused climate change increased extreme weather?
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending claims. This fact brief was written by Sue Bin Park from the Gigafact team in collaboration with members from our team. You can submit claims you think need checking via the tipline. Has human-caused climate ...2 days ago
- What’s Been Happening? Political Roundup
For paid subscribersI’m currently writing an article in response to a promise to Bill about where everything is heading - and I included a ‘quick’ snapshot of political updates.However, as that list of updates got longer, I thought it made sense to send out as a separate article.So here it ...2 days ago - Bitch
I'm a bitch, I'm a loverI'm a child, I'm a motherI'm a sinner, I'm a saintI do not feel ashamedI'm your Hell, I'm your dreamI'm nothing in betweenYou know you wouldn't want it any other wayWriters: Shelly Peiken, Meredith BrooksGood morning, all you lovely people. 🙂 A newsletter this morning ...2 days ago - Property Rights and the Treaty Principles Bill
Property rights – which enable decisions over tangible and intangible assets – are critical to an economy as Why Nations Fail pointed out. Not just private property rights for, as we shall see, they are more complicated than that. Neoliberals argue that private property rights lead to the maximum economic ...3 days ago - The Hoon around the week to November 22
The podcast above of the weekly ‘Hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers on Thursday night features co-hosts & talking about the week’s news with: on the US Presidential elections, Israel vs Gaza/Iran/Lebanon, Ukraine/Nato vs Russia/North Korea and whether NZ now joins AUKUS;Special guest Helen Clark on the issues above, ...3 days ago - Justice in Brazil
Following the 2022 Brazilian general election, election loser Jair Bolsonaro tried to do a Trump, attempting a coup to overturn the election. It failed. But unlike his American friend, he hasn't been allowed to get away with it: The former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro and some of his closest ...3 days ago - Treasury warns deeper recession worsening Budget deficit
The gift that keeps giving: David Seymour has now opened a split in the coalition over the future of National’s promise to build a new medical school. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / TheKakaKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and ...3 days ago
- Weekly Roundup 22-November-2024
It’s another Friday and we’re inching closer to the end of the year. Here’s some of the stories that have caught our attention this week. This post, like all our work, is brought to you by a largely volunteer crew and made possible by generous donations from our readers and ...3 days ago
- Beyond Question?
Record Numbers: The Hīkoi mō te Tiriti, which began at the tip of the North, and the tail of the South, on 11 November, culminated outside Parliament on Tuesday, 19 November 2024, in one of the largest demonstrations in New Zealand’s political history.ACCORDING TO TE ARA, the Ministry of Culture ...3 days ago - The Rush To Blame “The Activists”
Activists are such easy scapegoats. The right and center have been conditioned for decades to roll their eyes at all protests. The left are easily aggravated over students leading movements they see as belonging to grownups, who have more important concerns like the economy and whether the trains come on ...3 days ago - Cutting Through An Inundation of Dipshit Racists
Hi,Watching New Zealand from afar offers a strange perspective. It can be a good thing — distance from Aotearoa helped keep me sane while I reported on abuse at New Zealand’s biggest megachurch over the course of a year. It helps fuel my silly podcast. But it can also be ...3 days ago - This is bad news
The speech yesterday by Treasury’s Chief Economic Advisor warning that the books are in worse shape than forecasted looks like it’s part of a softening-up process for either more cuts or a longer wait to get back into surplus. The speech was a highly unusual public preview of Treasury’s Half-Yearly ...4 days ago
- Skeptical Science New Research for Week #47 2024
Open access notables Projected increase in the frequency of extremely active Atlantic hurricane seasons, Lopez et al., Science Advances: Future changes to the year-to-year swings between active and inactive North Atlantic tropical cyclone (TC) seasons have received little attention, yet may have great societal implications in areas prone to hurricane ...4 days ago
- Chicken Kiev
Chatting in the supermarket this morning, I found I needed to lunge for the chicken drumsticks.Coping mechanisms: who hasn’t felt a greater need for them lately?When it all gets too much, I turn to demonstrating handy butchery hacks.It wasn’t that she’d said anything wrong, our friend, not at all. We ...4 days ago - The year is 2024 and it’s 1984
This is written in response to the highly significant open letter from a group of economists that was today addressed to Christopher Luxon. The year is 2024, and it’s 1984. The country is reeling from a record Olympic medal gold haul, while the globe grapples with the choice of the ...4 days ago - The IPCA has failed
Back in 2022, RNZ took an in-depth look at the "Independent" Police Conduct Authority and its handling of killings by police. These are the most serious test of oversight, and you would expect the police's use of lethal force to receive the most severe scrutiny. But despite the police regularly ...4 days ago
- Thursday 21 November 2024
The Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti arrived at Parliament on Tuesday – the size is being debated but estimates range from 42,000 to 100,000. The Prime Minister is defending not attending due to some of the organisers being affiliated with Te Pāti Māori. The national gang patch ban came into force ...4 days ago
- ‘These budget cuts are counter-productive and make no sense’
I spoke to former Productivity Chair Nana this morning about the letter he and a group of other economists sent to PM Christopher Luxon to urge the Government to urgently suspend cuts to spending and investment for the sake of the economy, struggling businesses and the wellbeing of vulnerable ...4 days ago
- ACT’s Astroturfing & A Co-ordinated Attack on Te Pati Māori
Unity on the Streets / Unity at the TableAfter the Hīkoi, all three right wing Coalition leaders came together to push the idea that the 42,000 - 50,000 + strong Hikoi was somehow less potent and brave, and more illegitimate than the energy and crowd displayed.Prime Minister Christopher Luxon 20-November: ...4 days ago - Durability of carbon dioxide removal is critical for stabilizing temperatures
This is a re-post from the Climate Brink The world is emitting over 40 gigatons of CO2 per year, contributing to an accelerating warming of the planet. The world needs to cut emissions rapidly to be remotely on track to meet our Paris Agreement goals of limiting warming to well-below 2C, and we ...4 days ago
- I Love My Leather Jacket
I wear my leather jacket like a great big hugRadiating charm - a living cloak of luckIt's the only concrete link with an absent friendIt's a symbol I can wear 'till we meet againOr it's a weight around my neck while the owner's freeBoth protector and reminder of mortalityIt's a ...4 days ago - Throwback Thursday: Will “Auckland Transport” Survive?
With Auckland Transport’s future up in the air under Mayor Wayne Brown’s proposed CCO reform, we’ve dug way back into the archives, to unearth this post originally published in March 2010. As you’ll see, many of the debates that were being had when AT was first proposed continue to ...4 days ago
- Economists call on PM to suspend budget cuts for the sake of the economy
Nicola Willis’ budget cuts are under fire from economists for having no clear rationale and worsening the recession. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Thursday, November 21: The news at ...4 days ago
- The end of policing by consent
National has appointed a new police commissioner. And he explicitly rejects policing by consent: Asked if he subscribed to policing by consent, he said he did not. “I don’t talk about policing by consent. I talk about trust and confidence, and it is fundamentally important that the police have ...5 days ago
- The Treaty Principles Bill: A Who’s Who
David Horatio Waterbed SeymourFringe politician and dweeb transformed successfully by ThinkTank money into a well-oiled soundbite robot.Currently programmed to say: Equal rights for all New Zealanders Equal rights for all New Zealanders Equal rights for all New Zealanders Was previously programmed to say:I am a proud libertarian andI am a ...5 days ago - Kinleith mill closure shows need for industrial strategy
NZCTU Te Kauae Kaimahi President Richard Wagstaff is calling on the Government to deliver an economic and industrial strategy for regional manufacturing, rather than just expressing sympathy for job losses, following the announced closure of Kinleith mill in Tokoroa. “The closure Kinleith mill in Tokoroa is not just devastating for ...5 days ago
- 27% of kids going hungry, up from 21% in a year
One in four Kiwi children live in households where food runs out often or sometimes. Photo: Getty ImagesKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Wednesday, November 20: The lead: The official annual Health Survey found sharp ...5 days ago - Transport modelling is an illusion
This guest post by Tim Adriaansen, an advocate for accessibility and sustainable transport, originally published on LinkedIn and cross posted here with permission. People prefer cars, right? Probably not. Here’s why. Granted, most people in English-speaking countries use a car to get around. This simple reality underpins our transport ...5 days ago
- Young Maori take over
Neither Wellington nor Parliament has ever seen anything like it before. The Police said there were more than 40,000 but however many there were, yesterday’s Hikoi to Parliament was a monumental event. It was almost three times the Foreshore and Seabed martch of 2004 and many,many times bigger than ...6 days ago
- Gordon Campbell On The Hikoi Aftermath
The euphoria from yesterday’s hikoi may be transitory, but is no less valuable for that. It is pretty rare for the left to feel itself to be in the overwhelming majority, and speaking as the voice of the people. Lest that momentum be lost, the organisers will no doubt be ...6 days ago - Sabin 33 #3 – Solar panels generate too much waste and will overwhelm landfills
On November 1, 2024 we announced the publication of 33 rebuttals based on the report "Rebutting 33 False Claims About Solar, Wind, and Electric Vehicles" written by Matthew Eisenson, Jacob Elkin, Andy Fitch, Matthew Ard, Kaya Sittinger & Samuel Lavine and published by the Sabin Center for Climate Change Law at Columbia ...6 days ago
- What’s the time Mr Seymour?
Mr David Seymour crawling up to the ceilingThe sun don't shine the sun don't shine the sun don't shine at allMamma Pappa say you should go to school, I don't know what forNow that I've grown up and seen the world and all its liesSong: Southside of Bombay"Ake, ake, ake" ...6 days ago - Submit to defend te Tiriti!
The Justice Committee has called for submissions on National's racist and constitutionally radical Principles of the Treaty of Waitangi Bill. Submissions can be made at the link above or by post, and are due by Tuesday, 7 January 2025. But I'd get in quick, in case National grows a spine ...6 days ago
- We need to talk about Kevin
All happy families are alike; each unhappy family has a Drunk Uncle Kevin in there somewhere. If your Kevin is anything like the ones I know, he was getting along happily enough without having to think too much about the Treaty Principles Bill apart from bloody good job, onya guys ...6 days ago - The hikoi
Like everyone else (everyone who wasn't there, anyway), I've spent the morning watching the hikoi march on Parliament. The pictures are astounding: parliament grounds and the surrounding streets are full, and there are still people backed up along Lambton Quay. The police are estimating 35,000 people, and that's a floor ...6 days ago
- Why Govt & NZ Inc should boycott & regulate Facebook
6 days ago - How should we talk about change?
A better world isn’t just possible, it’s desirable. And that’s how we should frame a lot of our conversations around making a greater Auckland. As an example take urban climate action. A climate friendly Auckland: Is free from congestion Enables people to travel how they choose Is filled with ...6 days ago
- AMA + Holiday Webworm Merch!
6 days ago - Discount Code for Webworm Merch!
Hi,So there’s a bunch of new stuff on the Webworm store (www.webworm.store) — just in time for the Holidays. Read more ...6 days ago - Trying to defuse the tension
There were urgent moves yesterday at Parliament to try and defuse the tension building up over ACT’s Treaty Principles Bill. The Bill’s author, ACT leader David Seymour, told reporters that he understood the Justice Select Committee met yesterday to discuss how long it should take to consider submissions on the ...7 days ago
- An Irritable NZ Pawn – David Seymour Admits Treaty Principles Bill will clear the way for deve...
7 days ago - Gordon Campbell On The Hikoi Arrival, And Tyler Childers
Politicians like to bang on all about the need to heal society’s racial/economic divisions, but in their actions they’re more keen on stoking those divisions, with the Treaty Principles Bill being the classic example. The Bill seeks to dilute the Crown’s responsibilities to Māori at the same time as it ...7 days ago
- Socially Backwards and Fiscally Forwards: the False Ideological Divide and the “Conservative” Li...
7 days ago - Kaamos: Accepted
I appreciate that A Phuulish Fellow has been fairly quiet recently. That’s a combination of two things – comparatively little in the way of relevant material to discuss (at least until The War of the Rohirrim comes out next month), and my general work on The Secret Non-Fiction Writing Project. ...7 days ago - Here’s how governments could fix their Paris climate commitment failures
This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections Governments around the world face a conundrum. Virtually none are on track to meet their Paris climate commitments. That includes the United States, which committed to cut its emissions at least 50% below 2005 levels by 2030 but is only on track for 32-43% cuts ...1 week ago
- Unstoppable.
1 week ago
- Katherine Trebeck – An Alternative Economic Narrative
The era of neoliberalism has been destructive on so many levels, with a huge growth in wealth and privilege for the one percent. A hollowing out of the state; fraying of the safety net; inadequate government investment in infrastructure; and continued environmental degradation has resulted in damage on a vast ...1 week ago - In a Manner of Speaking
In a manner of speakingI just want to sayThat I could never forget the wayYou told me everythingBy saying nothingOh, give me the wordsGive me the wordsThat tell me nothingOh, give me the wordsGive me the wordsThat tell me everythingSongwriter: Winston TongNext Tuesday, the subscription price for Nick’s Kōrero will ...1 week ago - Monday 18 November 2024
The NZNO have announced a nationwide strike for December over its pay dispute with Health NZ, who have put a 1 per cent cap on pay rises. The Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti and Treaty Principles Bill remain front and centre in the media, with the impacts of the Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke-led ...1 week ago
- Shipley warns Seymour’s bill is ‘inviting civil war’
The divisive Treaty Principles Bill is not just a risk for the National Party, it’s a risk to civil order and unity, warns a National Party grandee. Photo: Getty ImagesKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on ...1 week ago - A clearer network for the City Rail Link?
This post was originally published on Linked In by Nicolas Reid. It is republished here with permission. Auckland is now just a year or so away from having the keystone of its urban rail network complete. As I wrote about here, the City Rail Link will be a literal game changer for ...1 week ago
- National’s support base is wobbling
If ACT leader David Seymour intended the Treaty Principles Bill to drive a wedge into National’s support base, he may well already be succeeding. By midnight on Thursday after the Maori Party haka in Parliament, National MPs were being deluged with emails and messages from their members calling them out ...1 week ago
- 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #46
A listing of 33 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, November 10, 2024 thru Sat, November 16, 2024. Story of the week Our Story of the Week is completely "meta" (no, not that Meta). It's about our exploring how ...1 week ago
- Grifter Eftpos Tamaki at it again
..Thanks for reading Frankly Speaking ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Self-appointed “Bishop” and proto-fascist, Brian Tamaki was at it again on 16 November, blocking Auckland’s southern motorway, SH1.This time, the target of his ire wasn’t the Civil Unions Act; covid lock-downs; mask mandates; or ...1 week ago - Rip up a bill, lead a haka are words to live by
I cannot stop grabbing people by the lapels, or shoulders, or similar, and raving at them about the tiny miracles in my ears.I can hear again! There could not be a more satisfied customer in all the world.In a noisy cafe I am even catching words that Karren cannot, she ...1 week ago - Unintended Consequences
Take the baitYou pay the priceIt's much too lateFor good adviceYou know and I know that our good things' throughBecause there's consequences for what we doConsequences for me and youWriters: Kevin Robert Hayes, David Nagier, Bonnie Adele Hayes.Fallout from the first readingOne News began last night by saying that tens ...1 week ago - Thank you, driver!
Today, Saturday 16th of November, is Auckland Transport’s Bus Driver Appreciation Day! Saturday 16 November marks the third annual Auckland Transport (AT) ‘Bus Driver Appreciation Day’, and this year we are encouraging all of New Zealand to thank their driver or let the bus go first if you are in ...1 week ago
- Totally Normal: Holiday Edition
Hi,If I was to accurately sum up my mental state over the week, I’d just say that I got a huge fright from my own shadow.I’d nipped out for an 11pm neighborhood stroll, just to calm down after a day of stress and screens. The Cure and Fazerdaze’s new record ...1 week ago - We Are Not Listening
The current rise of populism challenges the way we think about people’s relationship to the economy.We seem to be entering an era of populism, in which leadership in a democracy is based on preferences of the population which do not seem entirely rational nor serving their longer interests. ...
1 week ago - More lawlessness from National
On Tuesday, sick of government stonewalling, the Waitangi Tribunal issued a rare court order, ordering the Minister of Health to release unredacted documents within 48 hours showing its reasoning for disestablishing Te Aka Whai Ora, the Māori Health Authority. The government's response to the lawful order of a court? Yeah, ...1 week ago
- National’s tyrannical “foreign interference” law
Yesterday, under cover the the biggest political fight of the year, National quietly - covertly, even - introduced anti-foreign interference legislation. The bill is the product of a years-long work-program aimed at countering shit like this and this, and there's unquestionably a need to do something to counter foreign states' ...1 week ago
- The Haka Represents The Best Of Us
A few months ago, I was in an audience watching a Haka-Kapa and as I watched children dance and sing and sway and shout and beat, I couldn’t help but think “The Haka represents the best of us.”Yes, yes - there will be a thousand voices that rush forth to ...1 week ago
- Adding up the climate cost
St Mary’s Bay housing left hanging: Climate risk is systemically underestimated in the climate scenarios used by central banks, and a new report warns 10,000 houses are set to become uninsurable in Aotearoa. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāLong stories short, here’s the top six news items of note in ...1 week ago
- Auckland chafing at Bishop’s housing intensification orders
One of the major problems the Government has in implementing its ‘going for housing growth’ strategy is that it isn’t giving much funding help to councils. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and ...1 week ago
- Release: Government should be transparent on live exports
Targeted consultation on reinstating live cattle exports by sea won’t allow the New Zealand public to have their say. ...3 days ago - NZ’s global climate rankings plummet as Govt removes agriculture from ETS
The Government has passed legislation to remove agriculture from the Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) while Aotearoa’s reputation on climate action plummets. ...4 days ago - Failed boot camp experiment must end
As legislation to set up boot camps passed its first reading, the Green Party urged the Government to abandon this failed policy experiment for the good of our rangatahi. ...4 days ago
- Gender-affirming care must centre evidence and health needs, not political posturing
The Ministry of Health has today released an evidence brief regarding the use of puberty blockers in gender-affirming healthcare, amid moves by the government to limit access. ...4 days ago
- Release: National doesn’t care about manufacturing
The National Government is walking away from our manufacturing sector with constant reports of closures and job losses. ...4 days ago
- Release: David Parker speech – Piketty, Inequality and Climate Change
David Parker's speech from the University of Auckland's forum on Piketty, Inequality and Climate Change in September 2024. ...4 days ago
- Release: Youth mental wellbeing no longer a priority for Child Poverty Minister
Louise Upston has revealed her diminished vision for vulnerable youth against a backdrop of snubbed advice, scrapped priorities, shifted goal posts and thousands more children projected to fall into poverty. ...4 days ago
- Release: National’s lack of climate action taking NZ backwards
National Government’s backward-looking climate policy has seen New Zealand fall seven places on the Climate Change Performance Index to 41 out of 63 countries measured. ...4 days ago
- Release: Simple reason for drop in emergency housing
When the Government says it has reduced the number of people in emergency housing, what it means is it is stopping people from accessing it in the first place. ...4 days ago
- Govt’s child wellbeing strategy ‘shallow and shameful’
The Government is turning its back on children by not only weakening child poverty reduction targets, but also removing child mental wellbeing as a priority focus in their Child and Youth Wellbeing Strategy. ...4 days ago
- Release: A historic win for Samoan communities
Labour warmly welcomes the Restoring Samoan Citizenship Bill as it passes its third reading, before becoming law. ...4 days ago
- Government plan to reinstate live animal exports a “national disgrace”
The Government has taken a giant step backwards by reinstating live animal exports. ...5 days ago
- Pasifika justice as Member’s Bill passes final reading
Teanau Tuiono’s Member’s Bill, the Citizenship (Western Samoa Restoration) Amendment Bill, has passed its third reading and will become law. ...5 days ago
- Release: Minister of Education thinks New Zealand ends at the Bombay Hills
The Minister of Education has shown complete disregard for rural communities and their school bus routes in Question Time today. ...5 days ago
- Economists sound alarm on Government’s slash-and-burn approach
A group of prominent economists has released an open letter to the Government, raising grave concerns about the far-reaching consequences of its fiscal policy. ...5 days ago
- Release: Smoking numbers up under Costello’s watch
National’s repeal of Labour’s smokefree legislation has taken New Zealand further away from achieving a Smokefree 2025 and a smokefree generation. ...5 days ago
- Release: Call for Palestine recognition by NZ, Australian and Canadian MPs
Parliamentarians from Australia, Canada and New Zealand have written an open letter to their respective Prime Ministers calling on them to recognise Palestine. ...5 days ago
- Justice Select Committee opens floor for Treaty Principles submissions
Today, the Justice Select Committee has decided to officially open submissions for the controversial Treaty Principles Bill. ...6 days ago
- Power of the people on full display as hīkoi approaches Parliament
Today, Hīkoi mō te Tiriti arrived in Wellington, with thousands gathering to march in unity against the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...6 days ago
- Hypocrisy as Te Whatu Ora contractor bill balloons
Te Whatu Ora’s bill for contracting and consulting staff has ballooned by nearly 20 percent under the National Government, breaking a promise they made during the election campaign to cut contractors. ...1 week ago
- Release: Growing pressure to scrap Section 7AA Repeal Bill
The newly released Section 7AA Repeal Bill's select committee report is further evidence that the Government should scrap it. ...1 week ago
- Government’s move to monetise access to nature a slippery slope
The Green Party is voicing serious concerns over the Government’s proposal to charge for access to public conservation land, released today. ...1 week ago
- Green Party condemns the passage of Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party condemns the passing of the Treaty Principles Bill at first reading, and is clear that the fight is not over. ...2 weeks ago
- Stand Up for Te Tiriti
Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Over 15,000 sign Labour’s open letter to Luxon
As the hīkoi to Parliament continues, Labour has sent an open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in a last-ditch attempt to get him to kill the Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Fast Track Bill threatens environment, climate and reputation
The fast-track legislation passing its second reading in Parliament is another step towards environmental ruin. ...2 weeks ago
- Greens join King’s Counsel in calling for Treaty Principles Bill to be abandoned
The Prime Minister must answer the call from a group of senior lawyers of the King’s Counsel to abandon the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Chris Hipkins’ apology statement to state and faith-based care survivors
...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour formally apologises to state and faith-based care survivors
Labour joins with the Government in unreservedly apologising for the abuse, neglect and trauma including torture in state and faith-based care and for ignoring the voices of survivors for too long. ...2 weeks ago
- Green Party stands in support of survivors of abuse in care
Today, the Green Party stands alongside the survivors of abuse in state care and faith-based care as the Government issues an historic apology. ...2 weeks ago
- Green Party calls for conscience vote on Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party has written to the Speaker of the House requesting he enable a personal vote on the Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt move to exclude journalist risks chilling effect
The Green Party is alarmed by the Government’s move to exclude a journalist from covering this week’s apology for the survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care. ...2 weeks ago
- Without action, an apology will be empty air
For tomorrow’s apology to survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care to hold any water, the Government must not pursue the same policies that drove the abuse in the first place. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Concerns remain over tobacco interference
Concerns about the tobacco industry’s ability to interfere in government policy making remain, despite the inability of the Office of the Auditor-General to investigate the Government’s decision to halve the excise tax on heated tobacco products. ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent wake-up call on climate
The Climate Change Commission’s latest advice indicates Aotearoa needs to be stepping up on climate action. ...2 weeks ago
- Green MP’s Meme-ber’s Bill set to save the world
Break out the punchlines and dust off your meme folder: Green Party MP Kahurangi Carter’s Copyright (Parody and Satire) Amendment Bill was pulled from the Ballot yesterday. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Poroporoaki: Ta Robert (Bom) Gillies
Kua hinga te manawa kairākau o Te Rua Tekau Ma Waru Tiwhatiwha te po! Kakarauru i te po! Ka rapuhia kei hea koe kua riro! Haere e te Ika a Whiro ki o tini hoa kua ngaro atu ki te Pō ...2 weeks ago
- Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principles Bill
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 weeks ago
- NZ must pursue independent foreign policy
The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...3 weeks ago
- Raising awareness of child exploitation
Customs Minister Casey Costello has praised the work of Customs’ Child Exploitation Operations Team (CEOT) for their commitment to combat the sexual exploitation and abuse of children. This specialist team in Customs features in an hour-long documentary, Unmasking the Monsters, which airs tonight on TVNZ 1. “It’s important that Customs has taken this ...2 hours ago - Prime Minister’s scholarships awarded
New Zealand is strengthening its global connections with Asia and Latin America, as 119 individual recipients have been awarded Prime Minister’s Scholarships for education experiences abroad, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. “Expanding New Zealand’s global engagement through world-class international education is a key government priority,” Ms Simmonds ...3 hours ago
- Climate Minister to see Antarctica research first-hand
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts is travelling to Antarctica on Monday to see the impacts of climate change first-hand and see New Zealand’s scientific work on the ice. “Antarctica is under increasing pressure from climate change, with rapid changes to the Antarctic ice sheet, ice shelves, sea ice, and biodiversity now ...8 hours ago
- Joint Statement: Singapore-New Zealand Article 6 Negotiations reach consensus
Countries have reached a deal on carbon markets at the annual United Nations climate change meeting (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. Co-chaired by Singapore’s Minister for Sustainability and the Environment Grace Fu and New Zealand’s Minister of Climate Change Simon Watts, the negotiations on Article 6 (carbon markets) concluded successfully with ...9 hours ago
- Child Protection Investigation Unit established
A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “The report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...3 days ago
- Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...3 days ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Government’s proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. “This is the highest number ...3 days ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...3 days ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
The latest Predator Free 2050 Board appointments will help to strengthen biodiversity efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced two appointments to the Board of Directors of Predator Free 2050 Limited, a key player in the wider Predator Free 2050 Programme. “The Predator ...3 days ago
- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterbury’s Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. “The new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,” says Mr ...3 days ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...3 days ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.“Cabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...4 days ago
- Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...4 days ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...4 days ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...4 days ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...4 days ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
Police have made their first arrests under the new gang patch legislation, with two gang members arrested, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. “Just before 11 this morning, Police in Wairoa apprehended a gang member for wearing a patch to the supermarket. He has been arrested and will now face enforcement ...4 days ago
- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “We are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...4 days ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...4 days ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...4 days ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...4 days ago
- Attendance rates increase, again
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...4 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Government’s new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. “Childhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...4 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.“The Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...5 days ago
- Speech to the National Quality Forum 2024
Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...5 days ago
- New Zealand’s COP29 National Statement
Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...5 days ago
- Latest Quarterly Investment Report released
The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Government’s expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “New Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...5 days ago
- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. “New Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...5 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...5 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.“Communities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...6 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...6 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...6 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...6 days ago
- Significant milestone for Canterbury Road of National Significance
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...6 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 – July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...6 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...6 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. “Our diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealand’s interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,” Mr Peters says. “It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...6 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Government’s plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. “New Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,” says Mr Seymour. ...6 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulation’s Red Tape Tipline is now live. “We want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,” says Mr Seymour. The ...6 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. “Youth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,” says Mr Doocey. “The two-day ...1 week ago
- Cristopher Luxon and Police Commissioner announce new Auckland police station
Commissioner Richard Chambers says it will make responding to crime in the CBD faster and more effective. ...20 minutes ago - A milestone legal case from 35 years ago holds important lessons for how courts deal with scientific...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Laura Dawes, Research Fellow in Medico-Legal History, Australian National University Peter Krocka/Shutterstock This month marks 35 years of DNA evidence being used in Australian legal cases. But unlike DNA firsts in other countries, Autralia’s is perhaps the most significant legal milestone ...33 minutes ago - Character references tell a court you’re a good person. Why are convicted rapists allowed to use t...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Vicki Lowik, Adjunct Research Fellow, School of Nursing, Midwifery and Social Sciences, CQUniversity Australia The Conversation,Elīna Arāja/Pexels In a recent Newcastle trial, a jury found three men guilty on multiple charges of sexually assaulting three teenage girls over two nights. The ...3 hours ago
- Human exclamations of pain are similar across the world, new study reveals
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Maïa Ponsonnet, Researcher, Linguistics, The University of Western Australia KitohodkA/Shutterstock We all know what words we might shout out when we stub a toe or touch something hot. For those of us who speak English, it’s probably “ouch”. But what kinds ...3 hours ago
- NZ’s new cultural policy will be called Amplify. It is timely and needed, but not ambitious enough
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James Wenley, Senior Lecturer, Te Whare Ngangahau–Theatre and Performance Studies, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Anthony DELANOIX/Unsplash The arts and cultural activity of Aotearoa New Zealand enhances our global reputation, grows our economy and brings us fulfilment as ...3 hours ago
- Surgeries being rejected to game waitlist targets, Labour says
The Opposition alleges the number of people going onto waitlists is being limited, as GPs complain of referrals being rejected. ...3 hours ago
- Surgeries being rejected to game waitlist targets, Labour alleges
The Opposition says the number of people going onto waitlists is being limited, as GPs complain of referrals being rejected. ...3 hours ago
- Louisa Wall says TJ Perenara’s Treaty statement during haka was censored
The former Black Fern, Silver Fern and Labour MP she "watched with pride" at how departing All Black TJ Perena used the side's haka. ...4 hours ago
- Warm and friendly or competent and straightforward? What students want from AI chatbots in the class...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shahper Richter, Senior Lecturer in Digital Marketing, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Artificial intelligence (AI) is rapidly transforming education, with schools and universities increasingly experimenting with AI chatbots to assist students in self-directed learning. These digital assistants offer immediate feedback, ...4 hours ago
- Review: Thomasin McKenzie out-sasses Bill Nighy in Netflix’s Joy
Alex Casey reviews a cosy British biopic celebrating a groundbreaking moment in scientific history that many tried to erase. What’s all this then? A classic British underdog story that would sit nicely alongside Brassed Off, Made in Dagenham, and Kinky Boots, Joy charts the true story of the renegade research ...4 hours ago - Gov’t Needs To Put Taxpayers First After $500 Billion COP Deal
Taxpayers’ Union Communications Officer Alex Emes called the deal “a move towards global socialism” due to the agreed upon large transfer of wealth from countries like New Zealand to the third world. ...5 hours ago - New Zealand Ports Urged To End Live Animal Exports As Maritime Union Takes Stand
AJP Welcomes Maritime Union's Historic Stand Against Live Exports. ...5 hours ago
- Oxfam Says COP29 Deal Is A “Global Ponzi Scheme”
Oxfam Aotearoa’s Climate Justice Lead Nick Henry said: "The failure to meet the global need for climate finance is a failure of empathy from the leaders of rich countries." ...5 hours ago
- COP29 ‘Bandaid Over A Bullet Wound’, Polluters Should Expect Resistance – Greenpeace
We know how to cut emissions - we have all the technology and tools to do so. What’s needed is political will to put these tools into action. ...5 hours ago
- Here’s what was – and wasn’t – achieved at the Cop29 climate talks
At the outset, expectations were low – but even with considerable headwinds, progress was made. The petroleum-laden dust has settled on this year’s United Nations climate summit, Cop29, held over the past fortnight in Baku, Azerbaijan. Climate scientists, leaders, lobbyists and delegates are heading for home. The meeting achieved ...6 hours ago
- Principals’ anger over cutbacks to ‘jolly good’ school lunch scheme
At least two schools have opted out of the revised free lunch scheme for next year. ...6 hours ago
- Patients referred for orthopaedic surgery not even making waiting lists
"It felt as though my hip was going to collapse," says Heather Tanguay, 80, while doctors say their referrals are now being rejected over a "lack of resources". ...6 hours ago
- The great Spinoff summer 2024 tech gift guide
From hard-working headphones to top-of-the-line tablets, these are a few of our favourite gadgets. For some, the summer months are a time to switch off their devices, to venture out into the sunshine armed with nothing more than a paperback novel and a large floppy hat. Not us! This is ...7 hours ago
- Police Minister Mark Mitchell criticises cop posing with gang patch
Mark Mitchell say the behaviour of a police officer posing for cameras while wearing a gang patch in the office fell short . ...7 hours ago
- Security breach as Christopher Luxon’s itinerary left on police car dashboard
The itinerary was visible in the police car in Queenstown on Sunday. ...8 hours ago
- Why parents need to be like Big Ted and ‘talk aloud’ while they use screens with their kids
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kate Highfield, Associate Professor, Early Childhood Education Academic Lead, University of Canberra Screen use and internet safety are two of the top concerns Australian parents have about their kids’ health and wellbeing – even ranking ahead of diet, exercise and depression. ...9 hours ago
- TJ Perenara’s Tiriti haka addition welcomed by both Te Pāti Māori and David Seymour
The All Black used the side's haka ahead of their match against Italy to show support for the recent hikoi. ...9 hours ago
- Helen Clark Foundation Calls For Political Action To Reduce The Prevalence Of Junk Food And Improve ...
The report argues the long-standing government approach that relies on people taking sole responsibility for their health and the choices they make, will continue to fail unless the obesity conversation shifts from the individual to the wider food ...9 hours ago
- Australia in a baby bust? It’s not that simple – and a panic won’t help
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Edith Gray, Professor, School of Demography, Australian National University Photo by ADIEL MALKA/Pexels There is a seemingly endless stream of news headlines about plummeting birth rates. Many have alarmist narratives about the perils of “baby busts” and “population decline”. This reflects ...9 hours ago
- Why Monday is the most dangerous day on a building site
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Milad Haghani, Senior Lecturer of Urban Risk & Resilience, UNSW Sydney M2020/Shutterstock Australia’s construction industry employs more than 1.3 million workers. That’s about 9% of the workforce. But construction sites can be dangerous workplaces. There are also more accidents on a ...9 hours ago
- ‘Divorce’ in songbirds: extreme weather pushes couples past breaking point
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Frigg Janne Daan Speelman, PhD Candidate in behavioural ecology, Macquarie University Coulanges/Shutterstock Like humans, many animals form lasting monogamous relationships. Most birds pair up to produce and raise offspring together over many years. However, as with humans, they also commonly “divorce” ...9 hours ago
- Green hydrogen could decarbonise entire industries in NZ – but there’s a long way to go
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jannik Haas, Senior Lecturer of Sustainable Systems, University of Canterbury Getty Images Hydrogen has been called the “Swiss army knife” of decarbonisation because it can do many things. But not all of them make sense. Today, the world uses about ...9 hours ago
- Creative sector welcomes draft government strategy, but calls for more funds
Many say NZ is well behind the rest of the world in developing and supporting its creative professionals. ...10 hours ago
- Peters’ push to turn Europe’s eyes south
The Foreign Minister is headed to Europe, where he will deliver the last of seven major speeches of the past year The post Peters’ push to turn Europe’s eyes south appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago - Death of a feminist legend
In March, on the twentieth anniversary of the death of a brilliant feminist thinker from Auckland who became a superstar in US academia, Justin Okin wrote a moving tribute to his mother, Susan Moller Okin, on International Women’s Day. “She was arguably the most influential feminist political philosopher of her ...11 hours ago
- COP29: A bad deal was better than no deal
Analysis: After contentious diplomatic talks like COP29, people like to point to the platitude: A good compromise is one where no one’s happy.When we’re discussing the climate crisis and all of the human suffering that entails, however, shouldn’t we be striving for a deal that works, not just one that ...11 hours ago
- Defence Force holds flurry of high-tech meetings with Western power trio
The NZDF has been meeting with the US, UK and Australia to discuss advanced technology and spy tech. ...11 hours ago
- Call for urgent government intervention as obesity rates soar
A sugar levy and removing sugary drinks from schools are among the obesity-fighting recommendations from a new report. ...11 hours ago
- The government turns one: PM Christopher Luxon talks coalition dynamics, differences and deals
Analysis - Luxon is loath to spend too much time looking backwards, and invited to share any lessons from his first year as PM, he draws something of a blank. ...11 hours ago
- Climate finance: NZ could face hefty bill as new funding target agreed at COP29
The new target will "set the expectation" that NZ contributes more to help developing nations move away from using fossil fuels. ...12 hours ago
- ‘I need to make you suffer’: My near decade of violent harassment by a man I barely know
Zeni Gibson has been stalked and harassed for nearly nine years by a man she rejected when she was 17. This is her story. As told to Madeleine Holden. Cover Stories are longform journalism supported by Spinoff Members. Support this work here. Spinoff Cover Stories are now available in audio ...12 hours ago
- Windbag: If I were mayor for a day…
Wellington editor Joel MacManus pitches his big idea to save the capital: more statues on the waterfront. After The Spinoff’s recent Year in Review live show at the Hannah Playhouse, an audience member asked me an intriguing question: What would you do if you were mayor for a day? I ...12 hours ago
- Zeni’s experience is extreme, but it isn’t rare
Hundreds of thousands of New Zealand women are impacted by stalking and harassment, and collectively they’re being failed by the official response. In August last year, The Spinoff received a polite yet tentative email from a 24-year-old woman named Zeni Gibson. “I am hoping to speak to someone about the ...12 hours ago
- Bullish a2 Milk pushes sharemarket to two–year high
A2 Milk’s rally is expected to be followed by a strong F&P Healthcare result and a 50 basis point interest rate cut this week The post Bullish a2 Milk pushes sharemarket to two–year high appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- The death of the local rag
The headlines are being hogged by the TV stars, the daily news reporters being made redundant, and the local programmes going.But at a much more grassroots level, we are also seeing the demise of the local free paper.The ones that aren’t disappearing are shrinking, losing advertising revenue, missing out on ...12 hours ago
The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
The site will be off line for some hours.
Awesome, dude! 😎
Some people got there heads stuck so far up there ass they can’t see reality
Ana to kai
trust james, wont go wrong