Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
6:30 am, April 1st, 2019 - 32 comments
Categories: national, Politics, Simon Bridges, you couldn't make this shit up -
Tags:
The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
The site will be off line for some hours.
Apparently he’s been given the bum’s rush and is currently in talks with John Tamihere
At least they rushed him from the front.
Ardern states that this is a perfect opportunity to dissolve partisan barriers and come together as a new united New Zealand.
https://giphy.com/gifs/michael-top-everything-KEhIB4JWqqV9u
Could be worse, it could be JC. She would be like a Trojan horse trying to destroy Labour from the inside. She’s poison, that woman. Simon OTOH needs mentorship and kindness. Sir Michael Cullen would be an excellent mentor for Simon IMHO and he might even teach him how to be a sharp wit instead of a slick git. Nah, I’m dreaming …
Gosh forgot it was April 1st……
You didn’t, did you?
Yes
When the next prefered PM poll comes out he may want to hide under a rock
I did feel for the guy when the crowd at the CHCH memorial service on Friday stood to honour Jacinda Ardern at the beginning of her speech.
Meanwhile the sun is shining, the grapes are being harvested and I can celebrate 46 years membership of the NZLP- more years than Bridges has been alive!
I think they already live under rocks.
MEDIA RELEASE: National announce closure of their flagship Epsom store.
Once the pride of the group, the Epsom franchise has performed poorly over recent years, with consumers saying it offers nothing different from National’s other stores.
It’s offerings are seen as transparently thin and often so easily seen through they may as well be holograms.
National’s leader, Simon Bridges, says he has been asked to take over the franchise in the wind down period as this idea worked really well when one of his predecessors, Ol’ Don Brash, was becoming embarrassing at work functions, complaining about the lack of corn beef sandwiches and stripping down to his singlet and challenging the cleaning staff to debates on free speech.
Mr Bridges is ecstatic at his demotion, saying that “Simon Bridges has heard it said that Simon Bridges is the right man for the job, but until now, nobody knew what job. Choice, eh!”
Current store manager, David Seyless, was available for comment, but nobody wanted to hear from him. He was last heard muttering to himself about hate speech, specifically complaining about the 99% of voters who say they hate ACT and all it stands for.
ENDS
You’ll also love the one with NZSUperFund taking over both light rail and City Rail Link.
https://www.greaterauckland.org.nz/2019/04/01/nz-super-fund-to-take-over-crl/
Trp lol
Thanks TS for LOLS.
Happy April fool’s day folks.
Plenty of jobs at Kiwi rail being offered here, but we wouldn’t trust Bridges there either!!!!!!.
This article just shows how short sighted National and their errant ‘Minister of transport Steven Joyce’ was when he cut funding and forcing KiwiRails Management to sack all those engineers in 2016 by closing the most extensive rail engineering workshop in NZ ‘Hillside Workshops’. National are just trash.
Labour are now left to clean up the mess now seeking more back again now ..!!
https://amp-rnz-co-nz.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.rnz.co.nz/article/760edab7-427f-4d03-bcb6-7676b9866210?amp_js_v=a2&_gsa=1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s
WILD KATIPO;
First train reaches Wairoa today from Napier since 2012.
Many of the Hillside staff went up to Saudi Arabia to work on their Railways ?
If there was ever a need for NZ to avail itself to have laws on treason instituted it is from what you state
Deep Purple – No One Came – YouTube
Hope he’s not burning his Bridges 🙂
Can they swap him for Nash?
Must be April 1st.
I heard Richardson, on morning report, supporting leave for domestic violence victims!!!!
…and in other news, Doc have suspended their 1080 program after NZ’s Cryptofascist Alliance declared war on possums. “Bloody Australian immigrants ruin everything,” an unnamed spokesman said, “We’re going to deal with them.”
Geez mate – Aussies wouldn’t know one end of a tinnie from a thong , – Barbie is a girls name over there and prawns are something they use to checkmate a King…
Not to mention they’ve got the softest hands in the world. It’s the lanolin.
LOL !-Keep it seemly
🙂
This post just turned up on my Google news feed . 1st time on my feed.
Just say no to stupid April 1 posts.
My favorite April fools product:
TDI Tattoo spell checker
https://www.travelinsurancedirect.com.au/blog/tid-spellchecker-download?ranMID=41804&ranEAID=3342550&ranSiteID=5iIgM3JW7X0-ZSZQuHsJrSd8q.Td0_lQyg&partnerCode=5iIgM3JW7X0&siteID=5iIgM3JW7X0-ZSZQuHsJrSd8q.Td0_lQyg
I imagined it different than they did. But they did come up with the idea.
I thought of some dupe gets a tattoo then uses the app to check the spelling. 😀
He could be Minister of Silly Talks.
And the biggest joke of the day is a true story
Fox News headline: Trump Cuts US Aid to 3 Mexican Countries.
Ah, ha. So now I know why acts of parliament become effective on 1st of April.
Interesting coindence.