Mark Richardson for National leader!

Written By: - Date published: 11:08 am, May 19th, 2020 - 27 comments
Categories: humour, national, same old national, Satire, Simon Bridges, uncategorized - Tags: ,

Here at the Standard we do not normally offer advice to the National Party.  Well we do but we do not expect them to take it seriously.  But on this occasion as National faces annihilation in the next election we wish to endorse recent comments made by Michelle Boag.  She may be slightly crazy and think that there have been 18 Covids before the current one but on this we can agree.

Mark Richardson becoming National leader would be the best thing for New Zealand.

This is what Boag said:

Actually Mark would be fantastic … Mark would probably get us up to 40 percent overnight. I’d back you. Trouble is, you are not in the caucus… But you could be, just not on these numbers.”

I am not so confident about the increase in National’s polling.  Already they have maxed out the old rich white guy vote.

But he would ensure that Jacinda was Prime Minister for as long as she wanted.  Because every debate would end in variations of this:

And it would mean that Simon Bridges remained leader in the meantime.

Can I urge National to give serious consideration to this?  They might have to helicopter him into Epsom but it is not as if they have not done this sort of thing before.

27 comments on “Mark Richardson for National leader! ”

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  1. Nick 1
    19 May 2020 at 11:10 am

    Hell yeah. Winner winner, chicken dinner.
    That steely eyed sneer.

  2. The Al1en 2
    19 May 2020 at 11:16 am

    I'm sure his tenants will vote for him.

  3. Incognito 3
    19 May 2020 at 11:23 am

    I know he’s a shocking jock, but is he lucky?

  4. newsense 4
    19 May 2020 at 11:27 am

    Don't laugh too hard. He'd be more popular than some, has at least an equal profile to Bridges and had an intent to be in politics.

    According to Matthew Hooton, Nicki Kaye should see herself as an auxiliary to Muller's ambitions – Muller, with Kaye by his side.

    • Gabby 4.1
      19 May 2020 at 3:06 pm

      What does Hootie Blowhard see as Todg Munter's primary virtues I wonder.

      • Tricledrown 4.1.1
        19 May 2020 at 8:59 pm

        Toad mulehead recommended by Hooton .political analysts want to be relevant ie svengali like.But Hooton is past his prime and is the same mould as Bridges a try hard blowhard.

    • woodart 4.2
      19 May 2020 at 6:08 pm

      kaye seems too compassionate for nats, would like to see her jump ship to nzfirst, win electorate ,and give nz politics a rev up. jacinda as p.m. nikki leader of opposition, nats third biggest party in parliament. pay good money for that…

  5. Peter 5
    19 May 2020 at 11:30 am

    RNZ in the weekend at 6.00 has stories for kids. Being read out, acted out, played out.

    This morning in bed more than half asleep I put the radio on and thought I was there. But it wasn't Badjelly, or Flick the Fire Engine though. Came to a bit more and realised the childishness was Mark Richardson.

    He'd be out of his depth in a photo of the reflection of swimming pool. Parliament? Yeah, make him National leader.

  6. peterh 6
    19 May 2020 at 1:41 pm

    He would get hosking on board what a team at least 5%

  7. Adrian 7
    19 May 2020 at 2:07 pm

    He's a very bad fit to be leader of National because he can take the piss out of himself , an ability that gives a hint of self awareness. So no, thats an instant fail in that job interview.

  8. mac1 8
    19 May 2020 at 2:45 pm

    Wikepedia described Mark Richardson's career thus. "His dour approach to batting ………….. provided vital stability to New Zealand's batting order at a time when they were notorious for collapses."

    Once Bridges is given the umpirical finger by the National selectors, Richardson is a natural replacement. His test batting average is what National's polling used to be at 44%, and his test bowling average of 22% is what National polled in 2002. He received the umpires' upraised finger 62 times in test cricket but he is best known for the wagging finger he received from the Leader of the Opposition, as she was then, for his insouciantly stupid question at election time in 2017. His ability at question time would be no worse than his predecessor should he replace Simon Bridges in turn as Leader of the Opposition.

    All in all, a fine substitute, worthy of a National Party prone to collapses. His dour approach will be no different from Bridges and his experience as a sports commentator interviewing losing team captains will stand him in good stead on election nights.

  9. stuff the politicians 9
    19 May 2020 at 3:03 pm

    There is nothing like a big dose of humour.

    Just look at Richardson when he speaks, he has a bitterness about him most of the time.

    He would go down like a lead balloon.

    Bring him on please.

  10. roblogic 10
    19 May 2020 at 3:15 pm

    commenters having fun with one of his unhinged rants…

    https://twitter.com/antihobbes/status/1262542893727641600?s=21

  11. Ffloyd 11
    19 May 2020 at 3:30 pm

    You lost me at ‘Michelle Boag thinks’

  12. mosa 12
    19 May 2020 at 5:41 pm

    Sorry Mark who ????

  13. RedBaronCv 13
    19 May 2020 at 5:46 pm

    Perhaps Nact could swipe a Green policy. "And we give you 'drumroll' our joint leaders Mark & Michelle"

  14. Gabby 14
    19 May 2020 at 6:59 pm

    Who does Luxie want to warm his seat? Has nobody thought to ask?

    • Chris 14.1
      19 May 2020 at 11:26 pm

      The nats have gone off Luxon. He'll be a loyal MP but Muller's now the man they think can relate to everyday kiwis.

  15. Tricledrown 15
    19 May 2020 at 7:27 pm

    Replace a big dick with a bigger Dick