On the crotch-clutcher Bob Clarkson

Written By: - Date published: 4:26 pm, June 1st, 2011 - 33 comments
Categories: act, political parties, politicans, Satire - Tags: ,

Oh shit, I thought we’d gotten rid of this idiot wonderful politician with a talent for publicity from politics.

Toad at g-blog puts it more eloquently than I*

Just when I thought the ACT Party couldn’t get more dominated by wealthy, bigoted, elderly white men, Bob “Left Testicle” Clarkson joins up.

Former National MP Clarkson was the subject of sexual harassment allegations made by a former employee. Clarkson claimed the allegations were the result of a misunderstanding arising from a mention of his left testicle to a colleague. Clarkson, in the heat of the controversy, grabbed and talked about his crotch to a female reporter.

Clarkson’s sure to work wonders to improve ACT’s 0.00% polling among female voters achieved in the latest Herald Digipoll.

If you want to understand this paragon of how not to be a good politician, then look no further than Steve Pierson farewelling him with the light hearted words

Farewell, you bigoted old idiot.

His departing speech to National party delegates thanked the Exclusive Brethren for their help – which was one of those political foot in the mouth occasions that always left his audience reeling.

As Dancer pointed out about his attractiveness to woman voters.

So there would have been a sigh of relief in National circles that they can now distance themselves from comments such as these from declared departee Bob Clarkson:

“I don’t want to be mean… but what makes me struggle is why does Labour favour the hairy-legged ladies?… I cross-examine some of these ladies in the select committee, and guys for that matter, and they’ve got warped bloody minds…”

Part of the polling success for National has been their appeal to women who have traditionally been more likely to be Labour supporters.

If I was in the Act party, I’d be very happy about how such a astute political operator adds to their appeal. Fortunately they really don’t appear to have any, especially to the women.

* Sorry toad, I was going to quote you. But you wrote the post so short and sweet that I gave up and quoted the whole thing.

33 comments on “On the crotch-clutcher Bob Clarkson ”

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  1. ianmac 1
    1 June 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Methinks Bob doest protest too much about his maleness. Mmm. That would upset the AAT- ivists.

  2. toad 2
    1 June 2011 at 4:52 pm

    * Sorry toad, I was going to quote you. But you wrote the post so short and sweet that I gave up and quoted the whole thing.

    No probs, Lynn. It was a “short and sweet” post because I was working on something urgent at work when I got the news feed, and didn’t have time for anything more. Perhaps that worked out for the best.

    But I might have added that Clarkson is also a homophobe and an Islamophobe.

    Just what ACT needs, given they have Banks on board too.

    • Jim Nald 2.1
      2 June 2011 at 9:53 am

      “Just what ACT needs” … What does ACT stand for?

      Association of Corpses and Trash?

      A place where failed male, pale and stale right-wing politicians go to wait out their dying days?

      A place where they continue to offer their hollow ideological corpses on sale long after they have sold their political souls?

  3. felix 3
    1 June 2011 at 5:51 pm

    Hi Heather. It’s never too late to start again.

  4. jackal 4
    1 June 2011 at 6:52 pm

    You’ve got to wonder why Hilary and Heather have anything to do with the chauvinistic Act party? Perhaps the groups racist belief’s and hate for the poor override any awareness of femininity. What hope can they have of advancing their political careers in a sexist organization that has such low public support. The fact that Act has zero support from woman should make Hilary and Heather reconsider their allegiance to a party that will hopefully not ever be heard from again after the next election.

    • Deadly_NZ 4.1
      1 June 2011 at 11:49 pm

      And does not one of them own a building with a brothel in it??? Handy to keep the ol’ boys in line OH YuK mental image.

      • Colonial Viper 4.1.1
        1 June 2011 at 11:52 pm

        I think its fine that we have an MP in Parliament who makes an income from prostitutes.

  5. Tom Gould 5
    1 June 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Hasn’t the frontal assassin Donny Brashco got form with this stuff too? What is it with these boys and their balls? I bet they both drive really big powerful cars too, just like Banksie, who has his lack of stature to make for as well.

  6. Craig 6
    1 June 2011 at 7:35 pm

    I strongly suspect that as soon as ACT is dead and buried, Heather will probably walk across to National and ask for admission to that party. As for Clarxon, this symbolises the sort of quagmire that they’re devolving into.

  7. Anne 7
    1 June 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Now here is a golden opportunity for Labour (and the Greens) to rip into Brash and Banks at every opportunity about Clarkson’s involvement with ACT. We know from Exclusive Brethren experience Brash at least doesn’t do embarrassment very well.

  8. felix 8
    1 June 2011 at 8:12 pm

    ACT. The Liberal Party.

    Gee that was only 2 or 3 years ago, eh?

    The website for ACT on Campus still proudly announces their support for gay marriage and the legalization of drugs as headline principles.

    How long can the social liberals pretend to support this Brash/Banks/Clarkson party?

  9. Deadly_NZ 9
    1 June 2011 at 9:08 pm

    What is it about the political climate that encourages the removal of stakes from the old and DEAD has been politicians?. Act has become the old Vampire party. And now another old dead politician crawls out of the grave .

    Acts new Motto We’ll suck you dry!.

    • Draco T Bastard 9.1
      1 June 2011 at 9:24 pm

      Acts new Motto: BRAAAAIINS!!!

    • R 9.2
      1 June 2011 at 11:22 pm

      I can’t help but read these white male vampires/leeches comments without trying to find the article I saw today(?) about Hilary Calvert’s eyes being used to advertise the brothel she owns… I can’t find it, unfortunately.

      Anyway, I doubt very much that she runs the place with a view to protecting/advocating sex workers’ rights. I suspect she’s a blood-sucking landlord.

      ‘Suck you dry’ as an ACT slogan could work on many levels, I suppose is what I’m trying to say. Without trying to offend sex workers. Maybe someone could Photoshop fangs onto her billboard. And superimpose Brash, Banks, Douglas, Clarkson et al. onto the ‘menu’/’programme’…

      Sorry if I’ve offended anyone. Feel free to delete/block my comment. They just make me *sick*.

  10. prism 10
    1 June 2011 at 9:35 pm

    I’m reading a PG Wodehouse story at the moment. Bob Clarkson could have come out of one of his books about some pooh-bah old chappie who believes in the Empah and women in their place (his place probably).

    • SMSD 10.1
      2 June 2011 at 10:00 am

      Although Wodehouse usually makes his characters with a bit more class. They tend to the eccentric rather than the foul.

  11. Eddie 11
    2 June 2011 at 6:48 am

    from the herald:

    “Mr Clarkson said: “I have been a (National) member as far back as I can remember; it might be 40 years”

    The guy’s in his 70s, so um, he can’t remember anything before 30?

  12. MikeE 12
    2 June 2011 at 11:32 am

    Are you going to be posting like this every time someone joins up as a member, and not even a candidate?

    how on earth is this even news worthy. Man’s paid a $20 membership fee and supports the policys and candidates… this has zero impact on .. well anything (apart from maybe getting supporters to join up as members as well)…

    • Pascal's bookie 12.1
      2 June 2011 at 11:46 am

      That’s a lot more than Don Brash had done, and now he’s leader!

      Anyway, how’s that classical liberal thing workin out for y’all. Still rollin with that?

    • Carol 12.2
      2 June 2011 at 11:53 am

      It was newsworthy enough for the Bay of Plenty Times to write an article on it:
      http://www.bayofplentytimes.co.nz/local/news/bob-clarkson-jumps-ship-to-join-act/3954068/

      The article says Clarkson has not just joined the ACT party, but is actively and publicly supporting it:

      Mr Clarkson helped organise Dr Brash’s visit to Tauranga on Monday. Mr Clarkson arranged the advertising that drew more than 150 people to a public meeting in the evening – many in the audience were National Party members.

      ie it looks like he has a significant role in publicly promoting ACT. That amounts to more than just being a member.

      • Pascal's bookie 12.2.1
        2 June 2011 at 12:00 pm

        To be fair though Carol, it is like someone making a big song and dance about resigning from a position at ANZ and moving to National Bank.

      • MikeE 12.2.2
        2 June 2011 at 2:25 pm

        It was also newsworthy enough for the Bay of Plenty times to write about Elvis drive in movies..

    • toad 12.3
      2 June 2011 at 12:05 pm

      MikeE, Brash has said he would be happy for Clarkson to be the candidate:

      Brash told SunLive that Clarkson was just one of the many high profile New Zealanders now supporting Act because of concerns about the current National led government.

      He would support Clarkson as Tauranga’s Act candidate if he decided to take up the position.

      That’s just great, isn’t it? Brash supporting a homophobic, Islamophobic, misogynist sexual harasser being one of his candidates. He must be missing David Garrett.

      • Shazzadude 12.3.1
        6 June 2011 at 3:34 am

        It’s interesting that Clarkson was interested in being the National candidate for Tauranga (he made moves to challenge Bridges for the nomination but didn’t get in on time) but is now saying he’s not interested in being the ACT candidate for Tauranga.

        Perhaps he fears splitting the vote in favour of Brendan Horan?

  13. prism 13
    2 June 2011 at 11:35 am

    Have you joined MikeE?

  14. Brett Dale 14
    2 June 2011 at 2:34 pm

    How could any sane person vote for this guy???

  15. randal 15
    2 June 2011 at 2:53 pm

    he shud pull himself together and not to death!

  16. HC 16
    2 June 2011 at 7:48 pm

    ACT, the Alliance of Cunning Traitors (of NZ) has got another conman on board. Wonderful. It is by the recent record of people joining becoming more and more a party of the old, rich and questionable character elite that we have in NZ. Clarkson will definitely appeal to the masochistic and perverted females, because he is good at it (see his previous comments and behaviour).

    Problem is, that is a tiny fraction of prospective female voters.

    Wonderful, is it not, ACT is serving as a rescue vehicle for failed and/or voted out former National MPs. I wonder how the Labour idea traitors like Douglas and Prebble get on with them?

  17. DeepRed 17
    4 June 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Now that makes 3 escaped museum pieces in the ACT ranks.

  18. randal 18
    7 June 2011 at 2:12 pm

    I am glad he has gone to ACT. they all pillow huggers and the only crotches they clutch are their own!

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