Author Archive

Tax ‘swap’ needed to keep National MPs in NZ

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 1:00 pm, May 20th, 2010 - 18 comments

Finance Minister Bill English today announced tax cuts worth $340,000 for National MPs on their Parliamentary salaries alone. “I’m very pleased we could announce this gift, ah, fair alteration of the tax system. There was a real danger that New Zealand could have lost the services of such valuable, highly-skilled workers as Paula Bennett, Kanwaljit Singh Bakshi, Paul Quinn, and Melissa Lee

Murdering thieves ‘joke’ clouds Treaty talks

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:40 pm, May 13th, 2010 - 51 comments

Embroiled in fraught Treaty talks, Tuhoe negotiator Tamati Kruger has made things worse with an inopportune joke: “The good news tonight is that I was having dinner with my whanau as opposed to with the representatives of the Crown in which case I would be lucky to get away without having my land stolen and my family murdered”.

Key ‘not sure’ which Bennett he appointed

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:42 pm, May 6th, 2010 - 82 comments

Prime Minister John Key explained today that there are two Paula Bennetts and he is unsure which one is Minister of Social Development. The two are easily confused. The first Bennett is a solo mum who relied on the DPB. The second Bennett attacks DPB mums, forcing them to seek work.

My cellphone isn’t made of gold

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:59 am, May 4th, 2010 - 7 comments

The Nats and miners have this weird freeloader argument. ‘Those protesters are hypocrites. Their cell phones and ipods and cars all use mined products. They should support us mining’. They won’t be mining needed industrial minerals. But what’s under Paparoa? Dirty coal. What’s under Coromandel and Barrier? Gold. which is nearly all used for jewellery and ‘investment’.

Maori Party turns against beneficiaries

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:16 pm, April 30th, 2010 - 24 comments

The Nat/ACT/Maori Party government has seen 55,000 more people go on benefits. They want to work. There aren’t enough jobs. How to make life worse for families fallen on hard times? How about cut their benefits? Benefits are meant to go up with inflation. CPI. The tobacco hike puts up CPI. Government should put up […]

Another hand-out for bludgers

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:09 am, April 26th, 2010 - 98 comments

Our glorious capitalist system should mean farms that can’t handle a bad time fail. Just like any other business. Land gets used for something better. It’s the market. But capitalists don’t really believe in the market. Come the bad times, the farmers want another hand out. So government’s giving them the dole. Yup, the dole.

Commercial whaling plan to be announced

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:15 am, April 23rd, 2010 - 11 comments

A deal to re-introduce commercial whaling is about to be announced. Anti-whaling groups are organising a snap protest at Parliament, today at 12. Be there. Japan has agreed to lower its ‘quotas’. But since it never kills its full quotas this will not save a single whale. Key will proclaim himself saviour of the whales. The reality is he is legitimising the slaughter and saving nothing.

Lee eyeing up Wigram?

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 11:21 am, April 21st, 2010 - 18 comments

Odds are good Jim Anderton is standing for mayor of Christchurch. By-election will be a chance to rev up the Labour machine again. Safe seat: Labour+Progressive had over 20,000 candidate votes. Also gives Progressives and Labour time to combine their assets, activists, and systems well before the general election. But it looks like Labour isn’t the only one seeing an opportunity:

Call in Malcolm Tucker, we’ve got a live one

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 7:58 pm, April 20th, 2010 - 96 comments

What the hell is going on in Labour? Phil is busy heaping praise on John Key. Calling him a “good politician”. Saying he deserves “credit where credit’s due”. One News asks if Goff is losing his marbles. 3 News wonders if he’s voting National in 2011. Me, I wonder if he’s angling for a job with the Herald. Where’s Malcolm Tucker when you need him?

Give that bludger a tax cut

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:24 pm, April 19th, 2010 - 102 comments

Patent lawyer John David Hardie is a bludger. You and me, we pay our taxes. We know we get public services and a decent society out of it. This rich prick is trying to get out of a $10.3 million tax bill. What to do with this rich bludger? How about give him a $1.25 million tax cut. That’s what that other rich layabout John Key is planning.

If smiles equaled FTAs Key wouldn’t be a do nothing PM

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:20 pm, April 18th, 2010 - 7 comments

Journos. Obama didn’t meet Key before dinner on a big stage in front of the media because it was just practical. The leaders didn’t stand with awkward grins for the group photo because it was a crucial step in the diplomatic process. This is being done for you. Only you. It is meaningless apart from the fact they know the media will lap it up. They think you’re saps. And you keep proving them right.

Anyone else make a connection?

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:34 pm, April 16th, 2010 - 34 comments

Last year, Telecom screws over its engineers. Decides to make them dependent contractors. EPMU wins real jobs for most of them. Better contract conditions for others. But a sh*tload of experienced engineers say screw Telecom and leave the industry. Then the faults start. XT becomes a laughingstock. Customers leave in droves. Next, profit warning.

Whaling comic

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:52 am, April 14th, 2010 - 3 comments

Have you heard of Cyanide and Happiness? A web-comic that walks the line of funny and too far. They have an annual ‘depressing comics’ week. No punch lines. Given our Prime Minister’s aim to restore commercial whaling and the anti-whalers’ success in blocking the Japs from half their target of kills, thought this one would be appropriate [full comic]

Big win for apple exporters

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:37 am, April 13th, 2010 - 17 comments

Labour governments are good at planning for the future. Something National has never managed. Taking Aussie to the WTO over the fireblight ban is an example of Labour’s forethought. They knew the results were years away. Had the guts to stand up against our best mates when they had it wrong. Looks like we won the case. Aussie’s going to have to let our apples in.

Take it out of my ‘tax cut’

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:22 am, April 9th, 2010 - 30 comments

So the govt wants to sue the Waihopai 3 for $1.1 mil. No pesky jury this time. The dudes only have a grand between them. Spending a couple of hundred thousand on lawyers’ fees to bankrupt some hippies. Doesn’t seem like the best use of taxpayer cash. Tell you what. If the govt really wants its $1.1 million they can take it out of our tax ‘cuts’. 25 cents each. That’ll be my tax cut pretty much gone.

Nats’ homophobic dog-whistling continues

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:21 pm, April 6th, 2010 - 107 comments

3News viewers were left wondering if Duncan Garner is still pissed after the long weekend tonight. Using material that has clearly come from ~~Jason Ede in Key’s office~~ Murray McCully, Garner played the message-bearer for National’s continuing attacks on Labour’s gay MPs. It makes me heave that Garner, one of the best journos in the country, should lower himself to become part of this dirty, homophobic campaign.

11/10

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:37 am, March 31st, 2010 - 15 comments

Managed 11/10 in this week’s stuff politics quiz.

Just under 0 seconds.

No guesses.

Try your luck, if you think you can do better!

What support are the Nats giving beneficiaries?

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 11:05 am, March 26th, 2010 - 84 comments

Paula Bennett is saying that her benefit bashing policies are about “supporting people into work”
What is that support?
I see punishment. I see threats. Where’s the support?
Where, for instance, is the kind of support that Bennett got as a beneficiary? Training assistance that helped her get into work.

Gerry Brownlee’s date scone recipe

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 8:31 am, March 26th, 2010 - 15 comments

1. Decide that you are going to get rich out of selling dates.

2. No! Better! Get rich by having your mates sell your dates and clipping the ticket.

3. Take a dozen or so date scones.

4. Ignore all the dates sitting around that are not in scones…

About time for another Key photo op

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:02 am, March 25th, 2010 - 29 comments

That time of the cycle again. Unpopular policy. Crappy week in the House. Nats gotta switch the mood. Photo op. Something stupid for the papers to run. Something for the journos to say ‘your ministers are a bunch of incompetents, lairs, and thieves. All your important promises have been broken. And you keep lying to us. But damn you’re cute’. What will it be? I’ve got an inside hint. You can have a look. But don’t tell anyone.

Minister flees from journos

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:41 pm, March 16th, 2010 - 14 comments

We’re used to Key and his ministers hiding from their duties. Now one of them has taken it to a new level. Journos wanted to ask Pacific Affairs Minister Georgina Te Heuheu about the rumours her ministry is getting the chop. At the sight of them, Te Heuheu ran away. Fran Mold reportedly said she’d never seen anything like it.

Make that man a minister

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 11:50 am, March 12th, 2010 - 42 comments

British American Tabacco’s Graeme Amey has the brazen lie down pat. The guy quit smoking himself but wants Kiwis to keep smoking and dying to make his company profits. When asked why he quit he said “it was just a personal choice”. But why? “It was just a personal choice”. Yeah. Was that personal choice […]

Bill Ralston: fringe rightie

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:32 am, March 12th, 2010 - 22 comments

We all knew Bill Ralston had become a nutty fringe right-winger despite how much he likes to play the slighted liberal.

But his decision to start a Facebook group attacking public broadcasting, and to do so with two nutty Objectivists (one of whom did National’s 2008 billboard campaign) is quite refreshing.

Daddy to the rescue for Slater

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:11 am, March 9th, 2010 - 22 comments

When things got too hot Cameron Slater called on Daddy to save him. John Slater rushes in to say to cops shouldn’t be charging his son who has been getting his 15 minutes of fame exploiting sex abuse victims. The Nats think the rules don’t apply to them (cf. Heatley, English, Bennett, Jim McClay…). The law’s for keeping the poor in line, not the rich, they reckon.

Why not a Maori minimum wage too?

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:59 pm, February 24th, 2010 - 58 comments

The faulty logic behind Roger Douglas’ bill to cut the wages of young workers could just as easily be applied to any number of groups hit hard by the recession – Maori, students, men, dropouts, singles, people in Northland. What if we were to change a couple of key words in his bill?

Don’t take stock tips from Murray

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 10:18 pm, February 23rd, 2010 - 18 comments

Turns out McCully’s shares in Widespread Portfolios are worth 20 cents a pop. $31 total. He paid a grand for them at $5-odd each. Ouch. Are these guys really so good at business? Is mining really such a good bet for the country? And what is hidden away in the trusts?

Wee gripes: Cop attacks, whaling, dr shortage

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 1:15 pm, February 22nd, 2010 - 26 comments

No chance some gang f#ckwits would be deterred by longer sentences.
What happened to that plan of Key’s to end whaling?
How do we get a high wage economy when National opposes each and every wage rise?

Learning from example

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:00 am, February 12th, 2010 - 12 comments

In chronological order: John Key: “[I never promised I wouldn’t raise GST]. I said I would not raise GST to cover deficits, and we are not doing so.” Guyon Espiner: “he would have been better of just saying ‘look, times have changed and GST is now back on the agenda’” Duncan Garner: “The Prime Minister […]

Maori Party/Nat breakup over GST?

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 9:59 am, February 11th, 2010 - 40 comments

Yesterday, Rahui Katene said the Maori Party could walk away from National if they didn’t adequately compensate low and middle income people for increasing GST. Do you think it will happen? No way. Do you Tariana Turia is going to give up her Crown car and the other baubles of office? Probably end up voting in favour […]

National, time to put your dog on a leash

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 12:17 pm, February 7th, 2010 - 49 comments

As surely an endorphin high fades, Cameron Slater was going to do something to get his name back in the media. He’s been trying to test the boundaries for a few weeks. He’s been ignored. So, stepped it up a few gears. He’s named another person on name suppression. He doesn’t care that the name […]

Do nothing and loving it

Written By: Zetetic - Date published: 11:26 am, February 4th, 2010 - 11 comments

Saw this in the new culture/humour page in the Dom: Glad to see the “do-nothing PM” as Rodney Hide called John Key doing plenty of late. Take the past fortnight for example; there’s been the barbecue and beer with Prince William, photo ops with punters at the Wellington races, and a ribbon-cutting ceremony and practice […]