Author Archive
Some are more equal than others
Written By: - Date published: 1:00 pm, April 14th, 2011 - 41 comments
Next time some righties are protesting in Queen St, will the government call out an army LAV to clear a path for my car so I can go about my lawful business without being blocked by protesters? Or do only foreign multinationals have this government at their beck and call?
F*ck the police
Written By: - Date published: 11:17 am, April 12th, 2011 - 161 comments
Tiki Taane arrested for singing NWA’s classic ‘F*ck the police’ when there were cops at his gig. Disorderly conduct likely to incite violence, says the Old Bill. Yeah, right. Here’s how this will play out: It’ll be laughed out of court. Collins will rush through new restrictions on our rights to ‘back the police’. O’Connor will renew call for cops to be armed.
Bill English: man of the people
Written By: - Date published: 2:30 pm, April 11th, 2011 - 19 comments
The Crown BMWs are back in the news. One will have a $1000 underseat heater to keep a worthy’s arse toasty. Based in Dunedin. For “long-distance and long-duration movements”. Hmm. Who flies to Dunedin for a 3 hour drive to Dipton occasionally? Guess you need that heater against the Southern cold when you’re used to balmy Karori.
Brownlee promises inflatable, plastic Christchurch
Written By: - Date published: 12:19 am, April 7th, 2011 - 20 comments
Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee has unveiled plans for a giant inflatable plastic CBD and inflatable plastic suburbs to replace buildings damaged in the Christchurch earthquake. The inflatable CBD will include a number of office buildings and a bouncy castle. To save costs, the government has rejected making the buildings here and will buy them from China.
Begging the question
Written By: - Date published: 8:45 am, March 25th, 2011 - 43 comments
Yesterday, John Armstrong wrote “Goff’s management of the crisis has already begged a major question.” Apart from making me wonder if the question was ‘is it OK for the Minister of Police to leak stories about ongoing police investigations for political gain’, Armstrong’s misuse of ‘begging the question’ reminded me of this song.
Spending up large
Written By: - Date published: 11:25 am, March 24th, 2011 - 24 comments
So what are you gonna do with the 9K of tax cuts you got with your 400K pa job since October? Why not pay 7K to shack up with 65 of the elite and eat a 6 course meal from foreign chefs?… What do you mean you’re not on 400K, you haven’t pocketed 9K in the last 5 months, and price rises ate your ‘tax cut’? You need a real job.
Back to corned beef & frozen peas for Brash
Written By: - Date published: 12:57 pm, March 23rd, 2011 - 10 comments
Turia’s learning the price of loyalty. Her Whanau Ora is getting cuts. Key knows she’ll roll over and vote for any budget to keep her seat in the limo. Hide’s 2025 Taskforce is for the chop too. Key says it’s not worth the money. Never was. 300K down the drain. Brash off the gravy train; back to corned beef and peas. Bet Key’s silly cycleway won’t be cut.
Ceasefire in Libya
Written By: - Date published: 2:02 am, March 19th, 2011 - 18 comments
If you’re like me, you just got home and were watching Te Karere with your nightcap. When it ended they cut to BBC with a live press conference of Libyan Foreign Minister Mussa Kussa (awesome name) who declared a unilateral ceasefire and called for talks with the rebels.
Key pledges: a photo-op a week for Chch
Written By: - Date published: 12:05 am, March 14th, 2011 - 83 comments
Stung by Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee’s admission that the eastern suburbs were neglected after the Christchurch Earthquake, John Key is redoubling his efforts: “For the first few days, I stuck my head down and got on with designing the emergency benefit policy but, winter’s approaching, so the people need me to return to my strengths.”
Dropping like flies
Written By: - Date published: 12:41 pm, March 8th, 2011 - 37 comments
Worth: gone. Wong: gone. Mapp: going. John Carter: going. Te Heuheu: probably going. Sharples, Hide, Dunne: facing de-election. Lockwood Smith: going mid-next term. Key: gone in three years, tops. More with limited lives due to corruption/abuses/incompetence (Heatley, English, Bennett). Why did Power really leave a party and government that was his to shape?
English on Working for Families
Written By: - Date published: 9:34 pm, March 2nd, 2011 - 81 comments
English on Working for Families cuts: “around 1,000 families earning over $100,000 receive WFF, and payments to those families total only $1.1 million … Taking higher-income families out of WFF saves very little money …
In this uncertain economic climate, we want to give all families certainty about their incomes”
News round-up
Written By: - Date published: 2:29 pm, February 18th, 2011 - 15 comments
Another 1,000 Kiwi jobs at risk – this future… it’s too bright
New right Reform NZ Party forms – will big names join?
Old man Douglas thinks Parliament rises at 9pm – It’s 10pm. Hope he stays retired this time.
Nats preparing to legislate away more workers’ rights
$2 petrol now – wait until the Northern summer
Nats impose media ban on selves
Written By: - Date published: 9:15 am, February 18th, 2011 - 11 comments
In a surprise move, John Key has announced the National Party is imposing a media ban on itself until the BMW limo affair dies down. “We got the idea from the Maori Party. Every time they open their mouths over Hone Harawira, things get worse. Shut their mouths and the issue goes away. Brilliant. There’s so much we can learn from our Maori friends”
Minister vs Minister – deathmatch
Written By: - Date published: 2:37 pm, February 17th, 2011 - 18 comments
Rodney Hide has accepted Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples’ challenge to a street race to settle the Supercity Maori Advisory Board dispute. Standing beside his customised Crown limo, the Kupapa II, Sharples said “we called on Rodney to resign as he promised but he won’t. So we’re taking this battle to the streets”.
Lies make BMW story worse
Written By: - Date published: 8:27 pm, February 16th, 2011 - 37 comments
Key says he didn’t know about the BMW purchase. Funny cause on Tuesday, English was taking responsibility: “we could go out and buy second-hand cars but one way or another cars need to be maintained”. The Nats try to blame Labour but the contract Labour signed says replacing the cars was optional without penalty.
Limos for me, job cuts for youse
Written By: - Date published: 11:22 pm, February 15th, 2011 - 135 comments
Last week, Key says Kiwis “have to tighten their belts, we have to do the same”. More job cuts for public servants. This week, buying 34 $200,000 limos for him and his mates to replace 3 year old ones. How many teachers would that employ?Not the cars that need replacing after 3 years. It’s this government. Good on Goff for giving up the limos.
Tackling the big issues
Written By: - Date published: 9:53 am, February 12th, 2011 - 60 comments
Key: So, Gillard’s coming. Are we talking about a single economic zone?
Groser: Umm. No. Mobile roaming charges.
Key: Christ, Tim. We’re really racking up wins for Kiwi exporters here, aren’t we?
Captain Panicpants: Your numbers with women are down over Hurley. They say you sounded disloyal and they empathise with Bronagh.
Key: Shit now that’s serious. Call the missus. We’ll do something cutsie and distracting.
The amazing disappearing blog
Written By: - Date published: 10:40 am, February 11th, 2011 - 23 comments
Wednesday, Farrar posts a link to a new blog, ‘Whowuddathort‘, running Goff smears and Key-love. – That evening, ‘someone’ posts a comment: “National Research Unit material, anyone?” – Thursday, another comment: “is fisking the standard parliamentary business? – Minutes later: Whowuddathort’ blog disappears.
Michael Lhaws’ irrelevancy proven
Written By: - Date published: 2:50 pm, February 7th, 2011 - 68 comments
Yesterday, Lhaws’ SST piece called for involuntary sterilisation and reproduction licences (ie. forced abortions). Pure fascism. Today, no uproar. Once, his stoush with some school kids was news. Now, he offers a eugenic ‘solution’ to the underclass and not a peep. He’s truly a has-been. He won’t have that SST column for long.
Key tries ‘come hither’ eyes to attract jobs
Written By: - Date published: 1:37 pm, February 4th, 2011 - 98 comments
PM Key says we shouldn’t lose confidence despite rising unemployment. Pledging to go ‘on the pull for jobs’, Key said he will prostitute NZ to any multi-national corporation and Kiwis should be willing to work for free. The PM was last seen smiling at himself in a mirror, muttering ‘Hey baby, wanna come back to my place and clean it for $12.75 an hour?’
Useless ministers wasting our money
Written By: - Date published: 10:40 am, February 3rd, 2011 - 5 comments
Crushless Collins’ double-bunking money saver costing $2.6m.
Shock! Paying someone else to build and operate our schools won’t save money.
Nat-appointed public service chiefs paid to air-commute. Pay cuts for frontline.
Key smiles at launch of new science ministry, waves in $3m of science funding cuts.
Press Gallery exam
Written By: - Date published: 10:34 am, February 2nd, 2011 - 11 comments
Our Deep Throat in the press gallery (Rob Hosking) leaked us a copy of the admittance test.
Q4) Which of these stories is newsworthy?
a) Greying MP dyes hair
b) Fat MP a little less fat
c) PM supports dictator against popular uprising
d) PM jokes about affairs with domestic abuser
e) Wages drop, as Key secretly promised business
Yeah. I didn’t pass either.
It ain’t easy being green
Written By: - Date published: 12:38 pm, January 31st, 2011 - 13 comments
At his ‘Blue-Green’ conference Nick Smith talked up the Nats’ environmental credentials. Proclaimed a marine reserve … where commercial fishing will still be allowed. And pushed new air quality standards from 2013 to 2020. That will cost 635 lives and a million sick days. Smith says it will save $506m. Guess the ‘Green’ in ‘Blue-Green’ is money after all.
Slash & sell … then crash
Written By: - Date published: 10:55 am, January 27th, 2011 - 6 comments
Ironically, the best response to Key’s ‘slash and sell’ agenda came from Obama, whose spotlight Key is always trying to share: “Cutting the deficit by gutting our investments in innovation and education is like lightening an overloaded airplane by removing its engine. It may feel like you’re flying high at first, but it won’t take long before you’ll feel the impact.”
There when it counts
Written By: - Date published: 12:12 pm, January 21st, 2011 - 49 comments
Herald, 21 December. Paula Bennett details the hideous abuse of a 9-year-old girl found shortly before by police. Says: “As soon as this case was brought to my attention I started demanding answers.” “I hope to God justice comes.” Today revealed, the child’s mother and teacher each separately wrote to John Key months before. Letters were transferred to… Paula Bennett.
Brownlee in gun for misleading the House
Written By: - Date published: 1:45 pm, January 20th, 2011 - 15 comments
Mallard has laid a Privileges complaint over Brownlee’s Hobbit lies. Good. Brownlee and Key deserved to be hammered for their part in the Warners/Jackson shake-down that cost just $34m and work rights. Lockwood won’t uphold the complaint though. He hates Brownlee. Not enough to severely embarrass his party in election year though.
Front on Pike River
Written By: - Date published: 9:57 am, January 14th, 2011 - 75 comments
Sad news for Coasters. Recovery of bodies at Pike River abandoned. Key promised ‘whatever it takes’ to get them out. He’s breaking his word. He should front up and justify it. Instead, he’s hiding from the media.
Chasing poor ‘pirates’ pointless
Written By: - Date published: 8:49 am, January 12th, 2011 - 32 comments
Hard to imagine a bigger waste of money than sending a frigate to hunt fisherman who’ve turned to piracy because foreigners have illegally taken all their fish. How’s about we spend the money on aid to Somalia instead? Oh right. Can’t afford it says McCully. But vicariously playing the action hero hunting ‘evil pirates’, yeah, there’s cash for that.
How bad’s the poll?
Written By: - Date published: 9:12 pm, January 8th, 2011 - 59 comments
Farrar and Slater are trying to knee-cap a poll in the SST tomorrow. They know the numbers because Key’s office told them. Obviously jittered. Slater says it has NZF at 8.9%. Movement of ipredict stocks suggest its bad news for Nats and Labour. If Nats are in mid-40s then they’re in danger territory. Very hard for them to find a majority.
Stop the carnage
Written By: - Date published: 10:27 am, January 7th, 2011 - 116 comments
Back to civilisation after a few days bush. First thing I see in the paper – another kid killed in a police pursuit. 20 in the last 12 months. Makes me so fucken angry. Police policy needs to change. I don’t have the answers. But these people didn’t deserve to die. 20 lives and who knows how many injured is not acceptable. Can’t be beyond us to do better. Can’t be.
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