humour
Categories under humour
- caption contest (151)
- parody (32)
- Satire (277)
The definitive voting guide for 2017
Written By: - Date published: 2:45 pm, May 5th, 2017 - 27 comments
How to work out who you are going to vote for based on your response to the housing crisis. Borrowed from facebook …
Slack on Dagg and English
Written By: - Date published: 10:35 am, April 18th, 2017 - 21 comments
There was (among the usual dross) some great stuff in the papers over the Easter break. Here’s David Slack with some observations on Fred Dagg, NZ, and Bill English.
Bid for Helen (for Women’s Refuge)
Written By: - Date published: 9:39 am, April 10th, 2017 - 5 comments
A rescued portrait of Helen Clark is raising money for Women’s Refuge via TradeMe.
New commenting policy on The Standard
Written By: - Date published: 7:00 am, April 1st, 2017 - 28 comments
Trip trop trip trop…
Caption contest
Written By: - Date published: 3:00 pm, March 29th, 2017 - 46 comments
Keep it seemly …
Found art
Written By: - Date published: 11:14 pm, March 18th, 2017 - 9 comments
The Winston Peters take on it:
“Come on. Tell us something we don’t know”
Yes indeed.
What’s going on at the BBC?
Written By: - Date published: 7:00 am, March 18th, 2017 - 7 comments
And now for something completely different.
White Man Behind a Desk – Indigenous Rights
Written By: - Date published: 7:32 am, March 6th, 2017 - 6 comments
We no longer need the Waitangi Tribunal because everything’s fine now. Right?
Images of the week
Written By: - Date published: 9:59 am, March 5th, 2017 - 6 comments
Just a selection of images that sum up the week in politics (courtesy of the twitter).
Nick Smith becomes Minister of Government Information
Written By: - Date published: 9:05 am, February 24th, 2017 - 62 comments
The Government intends to change the definitions of various indicators in an effort to solve some of the country’s most serious problems.
1984
Written By: - Date published: 11:39 am, February 23rd, 2017 - 120 comments
That Orwell was ahead of his time.
John Oliver returns – calls Trump ‘a pathological liar’
Written By: - Date published: 2:32 pm, February 15th, 2017 - 11 comments
Our long Oliver-less nightmare is over.
Support party exposes National’s lie – government in disarray!
Written By: - Date published: 10:19 am, February 10th, 2017 - 56 comments
With this vicious infighting exposed the government is clearly in total disarray.
Rogue MP publicly disagrees with leader – party in disarray!
Written By: - Date published: 7:42 am, February 9th, 2017 - 52 comments
With these deep divisions exposed the party is clearly in total disarray.
Caption contest
Written By: - Date published: 2:03 pm, February 7th, 2017 - 24 comments
Keep it seemly …
Caption contest
Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, December 23rd, 2016 - 44 comments
Keep it seemly …
The Standard is offering to the National Party leadership contenders guest post slots
Written By: - Date published: 12:15 pm, December 7th, 2016 - 128 comments
In the spirit of bi partisanship the Standard wishes to offer the candidates for leadership of the National caucus guest post slots and the ability to answer readers’ questions.
Labour moving “too far to the left” – Andrew Little responds
Written By: - Date published: 9:02 am, December 2nd, 2016 - 264 comments
According some Legget guy that no one has ever heard of, Labour is moving “too far to the left”. Andrew Little responds, in the kind of unguarded human moment that we seldom see from our politicians.
To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades
Written By: - Date published: 1:23 pm, November 24th, 2016 - 87 comments
Racist Nats Attack Chinese Grannies Shock!
Written By: - Date published: 9:00 am, October 12th, 2016 - 67 comments
National have slammed the door shut on the parents of already settled migrants who wish to move to NZ to complete the family unit. Minister Michael Woodhouse accuses elderly Asians of bludging off the NZ taxpayer. You won’t believe the howls of outrage from the right!
Trump physically slams WWE billionaire McMahon to the ground, mercilessly mutilates him
Written By: - Date published: 2:02 pm, October 8th, 2016 - 49 comments
Definitive documentary evidence of Trump the violent, volatile, unpredictable sociopath revealed.
Kiwi Treason
Written By: - Date published: 8:08 am, August 4th, 2016 - 181 comments
Vegemite and marmite taste the same, rugby is naff, John Clarke’s an Australian. What?
- Badminton champ one jump closer to Paris
What a difference a year has made for Caroline Powell. After coming last at the Badminton Horse Trials in 2023, Powell triumphed at this year’s event earlier this month, on board her sometimes-feisty Irish-bred mare Greenacres Special Cavalier – much to her astonishment. Now she hopes to succeed at the ...6 days ago - Does NZ still have Ardern’s political capital to spend on serious change?Opinion: Jacinda Ardern’s leadership significantly enhanced New Zealand’s profile on the global stage. In the first five months of her second term of government, between December 2020 and April 2021, her name appeared 24 times in the Washington Post, 10 in the New York Times, 27 in the Times and ...6 days ago
- Daily crossword, Wednesday 22 MayThe post Daily crossword, Wednesday 22 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 days ago
- Christopher Luxon the disciplinarianComment: The public has seen the PM’s ruthless side, but it’s hard to imagine a scenario where a member of the coalition faces the same punishment The post Christopher Luxon the disciplinarian appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 days ago
- How trust evaporated between a council and its holdings companyThe sudden resignations of four Christchurch City Holdings Ltd board members might be explained by condescension and hard-headedness The post How trust evaporated between a council and its holdings company appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 days ago
- NZ’s first New Caledonia evacuation flight lands in Auckland
By Maia Ingoe, RNZ News journalist A NZ Defence Force plane carrying 50 New Zealanders evacuated from New Caledonia landed at Auckland International Airport last night. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade said it would be working with France and Australia to ensure the safe departure of several evacuation ...6 days ago - We’re helping farmers access future climate projections as easily as checking the weatherSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Snow, Research Scientist, CSIRO CSIRO How often do you check your local weather forecast? How about your local climate projections for 2050? For many farmers, the answer to the first question is all the time. But the answer to the ...6 days ago
- France to blame for ‘constructing’ Kanaky crisis, says Kia MauPacific Media Watch A Māori supporter of Pacific independence movements claims the French government has “constructed the crisis” in New Caledonia by pushing the indigenous Kanak population to the edge, reports Atereano Mateariki of Waatea News. A NZ Defence Force Hercules is today evacuating about 50 New Zealanders stranded in ...6 days ago
- First New Caledonia evacuation flight lands in Auckland
A Defence Force plane carrying 50 New Zealanders evacuated from New Caledonia has landed at Auckland Airport this evening. ...6 days ago - Government expected to scrap first-home grants in favour of funding social housingRNZ understands the government plans to get rid of first-home grants in favour of putting more money toward social housing. ...7 days ago
- Bill repealing section 7AA of the Oranga Tamariki Act passes first reading in ParliamentIt does not mean Oranga Tamariki will stop working with iwi and Māori organisations, Children's Minister Karen Chhour says. ...7 days ago
- Statistics NZ leaving Auckland CBD office due to safety concernsA government agency is moving out of Auckland City because its staff members do not feel safe there. ...7 days ago
- Labour Must Walk The Talk And Join The Campaign Against Corporate Welfare
Reacting to today’s Budget Speech from Labour’s Finance spokesperson, Barbara Edmonds, Taxpayers’ Union Campaigns Manager, Connor Molloy, said: “It is encouraging to see that one of Labour’s stated priorities is to focus on creating ‘a level ...7 days ago - Ministry of Education failing to help redundant staff – unionIt isn't meets obligations to find alternative roles for staff it is making redundant, the Public Service Association says. ...7 days ago
- New tech bill will allow consumers to share dataA bill designed to give consumers more control over their data will be introduced into Parliament tomorrow. ...7 days ago
- Green Party raises Darleen Tana advert with Electoral CommissionTana's electoral returns show she spent $2415 on the article, published in Verve Magazine last year. But it does not contain a promoter statement. ...7 days ago
- First Kiwis stranded in New Caledonia expected back in NZ tonightNew Zealand is working alongside Australia and will help out Pacific Island nations as well as others, Winston Peters says. ...7 days ago
- Working with iwi and hapū a core capability for councils’ freshwater management, says Auditor-gen...Regional councils must focus on building meaningful and enduring relationships with iwi and hapū to support better freshwater management, says the Auditor-General in a new report. ...7 days ago
- Ngā Wharerau O Aotearoa acknowledges the Government’s response to the Independent review of Kāin...Chris Glaudel, Deputy Chief Executive of Community Housing Aotearoa, sees the announcement as a step towards addressing New Zealand’s high and rising levels of homelessness by improving our approach and system to delivering affordable homes. ...7 days ago
- Scrapping free flu vaccines has put vulnerable kids at risk
The end of universal flu shot funding for under-12s is a step backwards for New Zealand child health, say experts from the University of Auckland and the University of Otago. New Zealand’s decision to no longer offer free influenza vaccines for all children under 12 will likely wipe out recent ...7 days ago - Education Ministry must try harder to redeploy as many laid off workers as possibleThe PSA is taking action to force the Ministry of Education to comply with its legal obligations to do everything it can to find other roles for staff it is laying off because of the Government’s spending cuts. ...7 days ago
- National MP David MacLeod may face police probe over undeclared donations – law professorNew Plymouth's David MacLeod says he made an inadvertent error in his failure to declare $178,000 of donations. ...7 days ago
- Five reasons I wrote a ‘quiet’ children’s novelPoet, editor and former bookseller Jane Arthur’s debut children’s novel Brown Bird is the story of a shy, self-conscious 11-year-old – partly based on her childhood self – venturing out of her quiet comfort zone. Children’s books are close to my heart because mostly I believe that adults are rings ...7 days ago
- Plane heading for New Caledonia to bring Kiwis homeWinston Peters has confirmed it is the first in a series of proposed flights. ...7 days ago
- Is a return to LOTR the best or worst thing for Wellington? An argument with myselfPeter Jackson is bringing Lord of the Rings back to Wellington, producing two new Gollum films in Wellington. Madeleine Chapman (Gollum) argues with Madeleine Chapman (Smeagol) about it. First of all, I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation. Of course it’s great news! I don’t know, it gives me ...1 week ago
- Government to continue with Aukus talks despite China's warningThe Prime Minister says New Zealand's relationship with China is mature enough to withstand differences of opinion. ...1 week ago
- Politics live: National MP David MacLeod stood down after failing to declare donationsNew Plymouth's David MacLeod says he's "extremely disappointed" after failing to declare $178,000 of donations. ...1 week ago
- The cost of being: A SuperGold Card holder on solar powerAs part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a part-time media librarian and superannuitant explains how he spends and saves. Want to be part of The Cost of Being? Fill out the questionnaire here. Gender: Male Age: 65 Ethnicity: European Role: Media librarian ...1 week ago
- Statistics New Zealand to leave central Auckland office after safety concerns"At times it does feel uncomfortable just heading out for sushi at lunch," a Stats NZ executive told staff. ...1 week ago
- Ngati Ruanui On Fast Track BallotThe Government’s Environmental Select Committee is refusing to engage meaningfully when it matters the most over new fast tracking environmental legislation, says Ngāti Ruanui. ...1 week ago
- Household costs the main priority for Labour's finance spokespersonThe Labour Party's finance spokesperson has set out her portfolio priorities, with household costs at the top of her list. ...1 week ago
- What the future holds for Kāinga OraThe agency was found to be underperforming and ‘not financially viable’, explains Stewart Sowman-Lund in this extract from The Bulletin. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. A damning report A government-ordered ...1 week ago
- Politics live: Kāinga Ora in for shake-up, Labour's Barbara Edmonds makes pre-Budget speechFollow the latest in politics as Labour looks to the Budget and National shakes up Kāinga Ora. ...1 week ago
- What will it take for NZ to be a 'rockstar' economy again?Consumers have been hit with all the pain of getting economy on even footing again, economist says. ...1 week ago
- NZ First toilet bill: Not enough unisex loos, planning expert saysDespite Winston Peter's suggestion that anyone who wants to use one can, an academic says there aren't enough unisex toilets in the country. ...1 week ago
- The scariest driver of school non-attendance: more parents who just don’t careParents in a UK study knew attendance rates had gone down. The problem was, they didn't care. Could the same be true here? ...1 week ago
- Private jet use is increasing in New Zealand, climate crisis be damnedYou’ll never set foot in one. But its emissions still effect you. Shanti Mathias reports on a campaign to make private jet owners pay for their emissions in some way. The private jet passengers saunter down the red carpet, wearing sunglasses and heels; paparazzi cameras flash. The sky is blue, ...1 week ago
- There’s a silver lining to the Ministry of Education job cutsQuality teachers back on the front line can only be a good thing. One of the difficult things we teach in senior English classes at secondary school is the development of an idea. This involves deepening your argument, without instead “going sideways” and merely adding examples while repeating the same ...1 week ago
- Mega prison would cost mega bucks, so follow the moneyOpinion: As an indication of the eye-watering sums involved for the mega-prison plans announced two weeks ago by Corrections Minister Mark Mitchell, consider that $932 million has already been spent on a separate facility due to open at Waikeria next year – that’s about $1.5 million for each of the ...1 week ago
- How to lessen stigma and gaslighting in the health sectorOpinion: People with certain types of health conditions are more likely than others to have their symptoms dismissed, minimised or disbelieved. These conditions are diagnosed based on the patient self-report of symptoms, where there is no definitive diagnostic test that can prove the existence of disease or demonstrate structural or ...1 week ago
- Restoring fiscal discipline – and trustOpinion: Without an appropriate focus on value for public spending, trust in government is likely to erode The post Restoring fiscal discipline – and trust appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Hit by a digital guillotineThe intensity of it, ironically, can feel like bullying. Social media activism is reaching something of a peak with the war in Gaza, using the hashtag Blockout2024. It started at this year’s MetGala when influencer and model Haley Kalil was caught on video muttering ‘let them eat cake’ – suddenly ...1 week ago
- ‘I will never give birth to a child’It’s 2011 and I am 43 years old. My partner, Christine, and I got together when I was 36. We had been friends for about 10 years before that. One of the first things I asked Christine was whether she wanted to have kids. I had just come out of ...1 week ago
- Phase out mid point: Govt commits to low-energy user charges reviewThe Consumer Advocacy Council is pleased the Government will review the phase out of fixed low-user energy plans The post Phase out mid point: Govt commits to low-energy user charges review appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Problems persist even in environment ministry’s alternative fast-track billAnalysis: The Ministry for the Environment still couldn’t shake concerns about local voices, legal risks and environmental degradation The post Problems persist even in environment ministry’s alternative fast-track bill appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Tuesday 21 MayLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Tuesday 21 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Daily crossword, Tuesday 21 MayThe post Daily crossword, Tuesday 21 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Luxon’s ‘clear-eyed’ stance on China security issuesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon balanced promotion of ‘critical’ trade ties with ‘clear-eyed’ security talk at a China summit The post Luxon’s ‘clear-eyed’ stance on China security issues appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Stalking legislation review potentially next year – but could take longerThe government has a full slate of "justice commitments" already this year, the Justice Minister says. ...1 week ago
- Fast-track laws, parliamentary urgency, Treaty tension, media retreat: warning signs for NZ's &...Analysis - Power is not being abused, but it is not being well managed either. New Zealand democracy, unique and currently brittle, should be handled with greater care, Alexander Gillespie writes. ...1 week ago
- Forcing a government rethink on Gaza 'a cause worth dying for' – Will AlexanderA former Shortland Street actor says he doesn't want to die but changing the government's policy matters hugely to him. ...1 week ago
- Watch: PM, Housing Minister discuss Kāinga Ora reviewHousing Minister Chris Bishop has ruled out a mass sell-off of state houses. ...1 week ago
- Kāinga Ora underperforming, not financially viable – Sir Bill EnglishThe agency paid limited attention to value for money and had opaque transparency around internal costs and revenue, the review found. ...1 week ago
- Watch: Prime Minister Christopher Luxon speaks to media following CabinetPM Christopher Luxon and Housing Minister Chris Bishop are discussing a review of Kainga Ora led by Sir Bill English. ...1 week ago
- On the pain and pleasure of cookingA conversation with artist and home cook Prairie Hatchard-McGill, aka @cacioeprairie. This is an excerpt from our weekly food newsletter, The Boil Up. A few weeks ago, I spotted Prairie strolling down Ponsonby Road at sunset, a bunch of celery tucked under her arm. She was too far away for me ...1 week ago
- Three Kiwis Launch Haka Challenge To Free Assange In LondonThe Haka Challenge invites anyone to learn and record the Ka Mate haka as performed by the All Blacks, to show their support for "the South Pacific's greatest truth teller". ...1 week ago
- Former Shortland Street Actor Will Alexander Goes On Hunger Strike Over NZ Government’s Complicity...At the Christchurch rally in support of Palestine, he started his hunger strike and vowed to continue until the government stops supporting Israel’s genocide in Gaza. ...1 week ago
- In stories of unrest in New Caledonia, Kanak voices should not be an afterthoughtWith Nouméa reeling as mainly young, politically active Kanak people take to the streets and protest, a spirit that has been dormant since the 1980s has awoken. Tāmaki Makaurau-based Kanak Joseph Xulué provides some context. As reports continue to emphasise the fires burning through the streets of Nouméa (the capital ...1 week ago
- Oranga Tamariki proposal to cut critical records unit 'incredibly disrespectful' – a..."For a system that desperately needs help, any budget cuts to me are outrageous but especially in record-keeping," Lisa McLaren says. ...1 week ago
- Passport delays cause applicants to pay an extra $1.2m for urgent serviceAn unintended consequence of the backlog could have the DIA making hundreds of thousands of dollars in expedited passport applications. ...1 week ago
- Joining AUKUS could be seen as 'taking sides' – Chinese ambassadorWang Xiaolong told an audience New Zealand joining the military pact could look like "taking sides". ...1 week ago
- New to streaming: What to watch on Netflix NZ, Neon and more this weekWe round up everything coming to streaming services this week, including Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+, Apple TV+, ThreeNow, Neon and TVNZ+. If you love feral robots: Atlas (Netflix, May 24) Look, if you thought This is Me…Now: A Love Story was Jennifer Lopez at her most intense, then ...1 week ago
- Scams are surging – this team blocked 1.3 million in a monthAfter falling victim to a scam over the phone, Russell Brown spent the day with One NZ’s cyber defence and fraud prevention teams to see the work they do to stop millions of scam attempts every year. The only windows in the Cyber Defence Centre at One NZ’s Auckland headquarters ...1 week ago
- Treasury Advice Show Flaws In Fast Track Approvals BillTreasury officials have outlined many ways in which the Fast Track Approvals Bill is deeply flawed, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking says. ...1 week ago
- How are the stocks of the fish on the iconic poster going? ‘Munted’, says one expertAnother technical answer: ‘no one really knows.’ It smells like hot fat and fish. You hug the warm bundle of newspaper, translucent with grease, swaddling it like a newborn babe. Behind the counter is a small child doing her homework, and the grumpiest Chinese lady in the world. Above you, ...1 week ago
- Kiwis Urged To Give Shane Jones ‘The Finger’New Zealanders are being called on to give Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones “the finger” in a cheeky new campaign that aims to dramatically boost marine protection in Aotearoa. ...1 week ago
- The left gears up for 2026 – and beyondLeaders from three of the biggest political parties addressed party faithful over the weekend, writes Stewart Sowman-Lund in this extract from The Bulletin. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. A weekend ...1 week ago
- Ministry for the Environment warns of Fast-Track Bill’s ‘significant risks’Environment Ministry says the fast-track bill poses “significant risks”, despite being neither cheaper nor faster than other options The post Ministry for the Environment warns of Fast-Track Bill’s ‘significant risks’ appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Treasury warns of Fast-Track Bill’s ‘significant risks’Treasury has said the fast-track bill poses “significant risks”, despite being neither cheaper nor faster than other options The post Treasury warns of Fast-Track Bill’s ‘significant risks’ appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Half-term report card: Tory Whanau’s wins, losses and re-election chancesKia ora, welcome to Windbag, The Spinoff’s new Wellington issues column, written by me, Joel MacManus. In this first edition, I take a closer look at the first half of Tory Whanau’s term as mayor. If you want to understand Wellington’s local political landscape, you need to start in 2013 ...1 week ago
- The murky past – and unknown future – of a huia feather set to sell to the highest bidderA taonga going under the hammer at an Auckland auction house tonight is expected to fetch thousands. But concerns have been raised about its unclear provenance – and about the law that’s meant to protect it. Eda Tang reports. When Tamatea* received the huia feather they bought from a licensed ...1 week ago
- A fast track to environmental degradationSir Geoffrey Palmer, author of the seminal book Unbridled Power challenging Muldoon-era decision-making,says the Fast-Track Approvals Bill is a bigger threat to constitutional government The post A fast track to environmental degradation appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- LGNZ launches city and regional deals planLGNZ hopes city and regional deals will help reset the relationship between central and local government. The post LGNZ launches city and regional deals plan appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- Seabed miners: What we know and what we don’tUncertainty is an overwhelming theme for two seabed mining projects aiming to use the Government’s controversial fast-track regime The post Seabed miners: What we know and what we don’t appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
- New report seeks to measure the value of a corporate crisisCompanies responsible for an environmental crisis are more likely to take a hit to their share price and take longer to recover The post New report seeks to measure the value of a corporate crisis appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 week ago
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