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ImperatorFish: Good News On Asteroid Front Shows Government On Track
Written By: - Date published: 6:07 pm, May 21st, 2012 - 1 comment
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A guest post from the Finance Minister.
ImperatorFish: New Wiggles Line-up Announced
Written By: - Date published: 3:46 pm, May 18th, 2012 - 8 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
Friday afternoon fun: Trevor Mallard becomes a Wiggle.
Performance pay for ministers to be introduced
Written By: - Date published: 11:46 am, May 17th, 2012 - 10 comments
In a surprising pre-Budget u-turn, Prime Minister John Key has announced the Government will drop its policy of incrementally introducing performance pay for teachers and, instead, introduce it for ministers. “Listening to Hekia Parata fluff her way through her spin lines on the teacher cuts, I had a kind of epiphany” said Key. “Any fool […]
Sinking homicide rate justifies murder spree – PM
Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, May 9th, 2012 - 15 comments
The Government’s ‘sinking lid’ on homicides means that John Key can personally garotte 3-5 enemies and the overall number of killings will still decrease, a smiling Prime Minister told journalists today. “On current trends, the number of murders is dropping by half a dozen a year. Which means no-one should mind if I bump off a few annoying arseholes” said Mr Key
ImperatorFish: A Statement By John Banks
Written By: - Date published: 3:33 pm, April 30th, 2012 - 50 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
On Sunday morning I made it clear to Paul Holmes on TVNZ’s Q&A current affairs show that I didn’t come up the river on a cabbage boat. I am aware that a number of my enemies are trying to catch me out, so in order to “front-foot” this matter I am making the following statement…
ImperatorFish: Booze-busting Banks Divides ACT
Written By: - Date published: 2:42 pm, April 24th, 2012 - 3 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A bitter fight has erupted within the ACT Party over the decision by leader John Banks to vote against keeping the alcohol purchasing age at 18.
ImperatorFish: Labour To Blame For Legal Costs
Written By: - Date published: 2:54 pm, April 3rd, 2012 - 8 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A predicted massive hike in legal costs to the Crown has forced Treasury to take another look at the Government’s accounts.
We need “operation 9” to suppress the bookies
Written By: - Date published: 12:37 pm, March 30th, 2012 - 22 comments
Evidently the people at iPredict don’t like being called “bookies” or being described as “opening a contract” on someone. We are now being targeted by this shadowy organisation.
Perhaps it is time that the police exerted themselves as the entertainment for the media and started operation 9 against this subversive organisation
ImperatorFish: Police To Investigate Taping During Press Conference
Written By: - Date published: 4:10 pm, March 27th, 2012 - 3 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
Police have launched an investigation after Police Assistant Commissioner Malcolm Burgess alleged he was taped while speaking at a press conference yesterday…
John Key’s emergency descent
Written By: - Date published: 11:22 am, February 12th, 2012 - 15 comments
A great graphic from the Sunday Star Times as John Key starts dropping towards a hard landing in the personal popularity stakes. And in the great tradition of journalists everywhere, the rest of the article is about how he is still preferred by rubber fetishists.
Armed police storm Key mansion
Written By: - Date published: 7:00 am, February 10th, 2012 - 25 comments
Armed Police assisted by the Eagle helicopter, the counter-terrorism unit, customs officials, and the police launch towed on its trailer have raided Prime Minister John Key’s Parnell mansion, executing warrants relating to the illegal ‘DJ Key’ election ad. Simultaneously, a joint Police-SAS taskforce has stormed RadioLive, deploying teargas and tasering all present.
ImperatorFish: Shock As Labour Discovers David Farrar Is Not The PM
Written By: - Date published: 10:07 am, February 2nd, 2012 - 12 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
Labour Party MPs are said to be red-faced, after discovering that prominent blogger David Farrar is not the Prime Minister of New Zealand.
ImperatorFish: Police Defend Bloody Kindergarten Raid
Written By: - Date published: 2:12 pm, January 24th, 2012 - 1 comment
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
Police and Armed Offender units raided the Meriwether Community Kindergarten just after morning tea, but the raid turned violent when some of the children put up a fight.
Gibson puts his money where his mouth is
Written By: - Date published: 11:19 am, January 16th, 2012 - 20 comments
An interesting passage from Herald on Sunday article on Ports of Auckland CEO Tony Gibson and Maritime Union President Garry Parsloe: … “Gibson won’t confirm reports he earns $750,000, saying “I don’t do this for the money,” … Parsloe grins. “They should stop paying him then. That would save the port quite a lot of money every year for a start”
ImperatorFish: McCaw, Carter Supreme Winners At Literature Awards
Written By: - Date published: 11:31 pm, January 11th, 2012 - 3 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
Scott’s take on John Key’s contribution to The New Zealand Literature Heritage Trail booklet.
Concerns Mount Over Absence Of Social Media Gaffes
Written By: - Date published: 9:52 pm, December 30th, 2011 - 1 comment
Scott at ImperatorFish is worried. A National Party MP’s colleagues have become increasingly concerned about his wellbeing, after he failed for two consecutive days to make a fool of himself on Twitter. Concerns were raised when colleagues of Tau Henare realised that they had not noticed a single social media brainfart from the list MP for over 48 hours.
ImperatorFish: Analysing The Reshuffle
Written By: - Date published: 2:19 pm, December 13th, 2011 - 11 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
The King of the Gods, Zeus, yesterday announced a reshuffle of his pantheon, in an effort to freshen up his front bench. Getting the pantheon lineup right was always going to be one of the trickier tasks facing the Father of Gods and Men, and he will have had to manage some bruised egos during the process…
I am going to miss the real Aaron Gilmore
Written By: - Date published: 3:06 pm, December 10th, 2011 - 6 comments
The body of Aaron Gilmore will be leaving Parliament. However the divine rapture of the presence of “Aaron Gilmore for Prime Minister” will linger long after after that pretender to the name has gone.
Read the wisdom that is Facebook on the blessed one.
Was it a full moon?
Written By: - Date published: 1:02 pm, November 10th, 2011 - 61 comments
Oh hell. My worst fears have been realized. John Key is a wereperson. He is morphing into an incantation of the countries biggest ever political disaster. And talking of other story lines from True Blood. John Banks has been wandering around with the decapitated head of Don Brash.
John Key too drunk to drive
Written By: - Date published: 1:15 pm, November 5th, 2011 - 49 comments
hattip: tumeke
Several excuses: Key memories
Written By: - Date published: 12:44 pm, October 27th, 2011 - 1 comment
Several Excuses‘ political satire shorts are featured on The Nation. Here’s the latest edition.
My images of Rena
Written By: - Date published: 1:15 pm, October 14th, 2011 - 20 comments
From my facebook. Some opportunistic bugger is trying to offload their boat. TomScott in Weellington does his cogent best as does the Herald cartoonist. Then there is my favorite (despite its grammar error).
Key’s secret emailer unmasked
Written By: - Date published: 9:25 am, October 13th, 2011 - 15 comments
Key says an anonymous emailer told him that S&P said a Labour Government would make a downgrade more likely (more likely than ‘actually, already happened?’). S&P categorically denies saying any such thing. We can now reveal the identity of the anonymous emailer.
National: Building a blighted future
Written By: - Date published: 10:15 am, October 8th, 2011 - 72 comments
Since the nutters on the right at the sewer (otherwise known as the kiwiblog comments) seem to have a thing about billboards (probably because they can’t handle actual politics or actual policy). So to keep them entertained and running around like headless chickens rather than doing any actual political action – here is another billboard to keep everyone amused watching them.
VTM Bill passes – rejoice!
Written By: - Date published: 8:44 am, September 30th, 2011 - 101 comments
Grateful citizens rejoiced this week at the passage of the VTM (Voluntary Taxation Mechanism) bill.
Ohnstrong on Labour’s Chch policy
Written By: - Date published: 9:43 am, September 21st, 2011 - 29 comments
A guest post from Jarm Ohnstrong: I want to start this article with an apology. A couple of weeks ago, I attacked Labour for its criticism of National’s performance on the Christchurch rebuild while not having released its own recovery policy. That was unfair and petty. Now, Labour has released its policy. It’s deserving of the highest praise.
March to Save Factory Farming
Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, September 9th, 2011 - 17 comments
For the Minister of Silly Ideas
Written By: - Date published: 3:10 pm, August 26th, 2011 - 7 comments
As we all know, John Key is the most effective Minister of Silly Ideas that the country has had since Robert Muldoon. Of course no-one can follow that closely in the great chuckler’s footsteps – John Key hasn’t even got close to bankrupting the country yet. He has been trying though. But here is another silly idea for him to look at. It is a developing industry that should be as effective as the cycleway or youth benefit cards!
Your Tory: A Care Guide
Written By: - Date published: 5:17 pm, August 22nd, 2011 - 44 comments
Below are the care instructions for your Tory. Please read them before using your Tory for the first time. Provided you follow these instructions you can look forward to many years of uninterrupted conservative cronyism.
Your Tory comes with a three-year warranty. In the event you are dissatisfied with your Tory for any reason during that period, please remember that you were the fool who voted him in.
Imperator Fish: Why CGT will kill us all
Written By: - Date published: 12:55 pm, July 17th, 2011 - 33 comments
The 90% of New Zealanders who don’t trade shares or own a second property suddenly wake up to the horror of a capital gains tax
Is Nicolson right for ACT?
Written By: - Date published: 10:41 am, July 13th, 2011 - 24 comments
There are murmurings in ACT today over their new ‘high profile’ candidate, ex-farming guy who’s on the telly sometimes ranting about climate change Don Nicolson. The party’s current policy priorities are lower wages for young people, weakening student unions, and beating up on Maori and there’s concern Nicolson isn’t the right face for the job.
- ‘Effortless-seeming genius’: Carl Shuker’s favourite reads and other stories
Welcome to The Spinoff Books Confessional, in which we get to know the reading habits of Aotearoa writers, and guests. This week: Carl Shuker, author of new novel The Royal Free. The book I wish I’d written I wish I’d written Philip Hensher’s Kitchen Venom. No one talks about it ...5 days ago - Gone By Lunchtime: Our decision desk is now ready to call the US election
The new old president, the hīkoi hits Auckland, and a momentous day of apology at parliament. After more than a week scrutinising the granular data, the Gone By Lunchtime podcast decision desk is ready to make a call: Donald Trump has won the US presidency. In a new episode, ...5 days ago
- Global carbon emissions inch upwards in 2024 despite progress on EVs, renewables and deforestation
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Pep Canadell, Chief Research Scientist, CSIRO Environment; Executive Director, Global Carbon Project, CSIRO Susan Santa Maria, Shutterstock Carbon dioxide (CO₂) emissions from fossil fuels continue to increase, year on year. This sobering reality will be presented to world leaders today at ...5 days ago - Hīkoi day three: Thousands of protesters walk across Auckland Harbour Bridge
RNZ News Thousands of supporters of Aotearoa New Zealand’s hīkoi mō te Tiriti — a march traversing the length of Aotearoa in protest against the Treaty Principles Bill and government policies impacting on Māori — have crossed the Auckland Harbour Bridge. RNZ reporters with the march said it was swaying ...5 days ago
- Watch: Govt announces wrap-around services for people in emergency housing long term
The trial will be for single people and couples without children who aren't already getting housing help and have been in emergency housing for more a year. ...5 days ago - Govt announces wrap-around services for people in emergency housing long term
The new trial will be for single people and couples without children who aren't already getting housing help and have been in emergency housing more than 12 months. ...5 days ago
- Abuse apology: Talk is cheap, it’s time for action
Analysis - Survivors felt Tuesday's apology was "hollow words" but some hope they're wrong. ...5 days ago
- Small Business Owners, MPs Rally Together To Demand Transparency In Tauranga Marine Precinct Sale
“This sale, and the lack of information surrounding it, shows exactly why we need better regulations to hold council staff and it’s leadership more accountable,” Harvey said.” ...5 days ago - The Lord of the Rings musical is better than you’re probably expecting
Musical theatre sceptics Gabi Lardies and Stewart Sowman-Lund review the three-hour spectacle at Auckland’s Civic Theatre. Gabi Lardies: Stewart, we sat through THREE HOURS of musical theatre last night. That’s a big ask for an audience trained on 12-second reels. Tickets are between $69 and $179 – we were both ...5 days ago
- Police officers ready to enforce gang patch ban
The meetings were to communicate what's expected when the law comes into effect. ...5 days ago
- Live: Day three and the hīkoi walks across Auckland Harbour Bridge
As thousands march two lanes on the bridge are closed as well as some on and off ramps. ...5 days ago
- The four funniest New Zealanders are ready for their holiday orgy
In 2016, Chris Parker, Tom Sainsbury, Kura Forrester and Brynley Stent surprised audiences with an orgy. Now they’re doing it all again, on a bigger, shinier stage. Eight years ago, four little-known comedians, two who had just met, ended their play thrusting, sweating and panting in an over-the-top orgy. There ...5 days ago
- New Zealand Government Refuses NGO Calls To Back End To Secret WCPFC Compliance Processes
Accountability.Fish, a global non-governmental organisation dedicated to improving the transparency and accountability of Regional Fisheries Management Organizations (RFMOs), has raised concerns for some time over the lack of transparency within the ...5 days ago
- Apology approved: Apology bill not so much
With Parliament focused on polite apology without politics, two parties leaned more into angry and argued politics was unavoidable. ...5 days ago
- Prime time for cicadas: what a once-in-1,547-year bug population surge tells us about the nature of ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Baron, Associate Professor, Philosophy of Science, The University of Melbourne Aussiepics / Shutterstock It’s a big year in America – for wildlife as well as for politics. I’m talking about periodical cicadas. These curious creatures spend most of their ...5 days ago
- Australian workers hoard more than 160 million days of untaken leave. So could you be forced to take...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Libby (Elizabeth) Sander, MBA Director & Assistant Professor of Organisational Behaviour, Bond Business School, Bond University Rawpixel.com With the end of year holidays looming, it’s easy to imagine Australians are getting ready to check out of the workplace and head for ...5 days ago
- The Incas used mysterious stringy objects called ‘khipus’ to record data. We just got a step clo...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Karen Thompson, Research Data Specialist, The University of Melbourne For more than a millennium, many Andean peoples used an object called a “khipu” (also spelled “quipu” and pronounced “key-poo”) to record and communicate information. Khipus were made with cords or strings ...5 days ago
- Who are the New Zealanders who can’t afford nourishing food?
By calculating the weekly deficit in people’s budgets, a new report shows how those receiving benefits or working for minimum wage often can’t pay for food after the cost of fixed expenses. One in five working-age New Zealanders doesn’t earn enough to feed themselves and their family well, new ...5 days ago
- New study suggests weight loss drugs like Ozempic could help with knee pain. Here’s why there may ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Giovanni E. Ferreira, NHMRC Emerging Leader Research Fellow, Institute of Musculoskeletal Health, University of Sydney Pormezz/Shutterstock The drug semaglutide, commonly known by the brand names Ozempic or Wegovy, was originally developed to help people with type 2 diabetes manage their blood ...5 days ago
- You will soon be able to power your house with your electric car. Here’s how
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Syed M Nawazish Ali, Research Fellow in Transport Electrification, RMIT University 24K-Production/Shutterstock This year, dozens of new models of electric vehicles have hit the Australian market – and more are coming. New models of battery electric and plug-in hybrids come with bigger ...5 days ago
- Live: Day three and the hīkoi prepares to cross Auckland Harbour Bridge
Two lanes on the Harbour Bridge will be closed from 8.30am as well as some on and off ramps on the motorway network. ...5 days ago
- The Cost Of Silence: NZ’s Role In Standing Against Iran’s Repression
The piece highlights the recent execution of Jamshid Sharmahd by the Iranian government, discusses New Zealand's current approach (as well as that of other democracies) toward the regime's hostage-taking tactics, and suggests an alternative, more unified approach. ...5 days ago
- Sex, abstinence and Trump: What is the 4B movement?
Some women say they are protesting Trump's re-election by swearing off men. Will the idea fizzle? ...5 days ago
- NZ’s food manufacturers are embracing the idea of a circular economy but are slow to implement it
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sitong Michelle (Michelle) Chen, Senior Lecturer in International Business, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Around the world, the growth of industry and consumption has escalated environmental damage through increased emissions, waste and pollution from landfills. The current linear economic ...5 days ago
- Live: Day three and the hīkoi moves through Auckland
Two lanes on the Harbour Bridge will be closed from 8.30am as well as some on and off ramps on the motorway network. ...5 days ago
- Horrific, heartbreaking, wrong: Who apologised, and how
Politicians and public sector bosses say sorry, but victims of state abuse have something to say, too, writes Toby Manhire in today’s extract from The Bulletin. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. Sorrow and substance ...5 days ago
- NZ warned against ‘blood offsets’ from carbon credit breakthrough
The COP29 climate summit has already notched an early win, taking a step forward on settling rules for international carbon trading – but environmental groups have cried foul at the rush through of the policy and the substance of the standards for emissions removals.One of the issues which stalled negotiations ...5 days ago - As te reo Māori grows, so does the search for trilingual interpreters
Deaf Māori face exclusion from their whānau and cultural heritage due to an extreme shortage of trilingual interpreters. Imagine being deaf and at the tangi of a loved one. You stand when everyone else stands, sit when everyone else sits, and stare at the lips of speakers, trying to catch ...5 days ago
- We have the ratings for Stuff’s ThreeNews. What story do they tell?
Duncan Greive analyses three months’ worth of ratings data to get a sense of whether Stuff and Three’s big bet is paying off. When Three shocked the country by announcing it was shutting Newshub earlier this year, as many as 10 groups are thought to have canvassed the idea of ...5 days ago
- Trump’s shadow looms over major summit
As the PM prepares to attend a major summit for the first time, the most important figure in discussions will be far away The post Trump’s shadow looms over major summit appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 days ago
- Daily crossword, Wednesday 13 November
The post Daily crossword, Wednesday 13 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 days ago
- The politics of saying sorry
Comment: Christopher Luxon had the least baggage of almost anyone in senior positions in Parliament, going into his national apology for the abuse of children in state care.He just hadn’t been there. He only came into Parliament in 2020, became National’s leader in 2021 and Prime Minister in late 2023.The ...5 days ago
- A lot of talk but little help for Fijians facing rising sea levels
At the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Samoa this year, climate change was high on the agenda, the big talking point for politicians and NGOs.After spending a week there, hearing how Pacific Island nations were worst affected, The Detail’s Sharon Brettkelly went to Fiji to see what was being ...5 days ago
- Xero hits record high on hopes of boost from pro-business Trump
Xero has its sights set on the large, but more competitive, US market The post Xero hits record high on hopes of boost from pro-business Trump appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 days ago
- Face-off against surveillance
Opinion: We are constantly being watched and recorded. Thanks to the proliferation of AI facial recognition technologies we are being watched even more: on the street, in the bank, in shopping malls, on public transport, at the supermarket check-out, even our phones are likely watching us. Are AI facial recognition ...5 days ago
- Where are we all going? Our population trends in 10 charts
Opinion: The shape of NZ’s changing regional population profile is always a popular point of discussion. Since we wrote on it last year, population growth has peaked and turned rapidly lower. Here, we take another tour of the regions to see how this slowing has been experienced, and what the impacts ...5 days ago
- Is there a worse way of discussing one of NZ’s founding documents?
Opinion: The select committee needs to call for submissions from people who have constitutional, legal and Indigenous rights expertise The post Is there a worse way of discussing one of NZ’s founding documents? appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 days ago
- Where is the global leadership fighting climate change now?
Opinion: World leaders from more than 100 countries are gathering this week at the United Nations climate conference in Baku, Azerbaijan, at COP29, to discuss the threats of a rapidly warming world.Under the 2015 Paris Climate Accord, which has been signed by almost every country in the world, there is a requirement ...5 days ago
- Trump has won, but are there any winners in the Middle East?
A week after the ‘shock’ re-election of Donald Trump to the Whitehouse and over a year into one of the most blood-soaked periods of the Middle East’s tortured modern history, the question is, what has been lost and has anything been won, and what impact might Trump II have on ...5 days ago
- Majority of landlords reject Government’s no-cause evictions
Though a majority of landlords oppose no-cause evictions, their return will be celebrated by the few large property investors who called for them The post Majority of landlords reject Government’s no-cause evictions appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 days ago
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