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ImperatorFish: Joyce catches Labour leader buying coffee
Written By: - Date published: 2:04 pm, April 22nd, 2013 - 11 comments
Energy Minister Steven Joyce has condemned the “socialist lunacy” of both Labour and the Greens, after Labour Party leader David Shearer was spotted buying coffee for two fellow MPs.
ImperatorFish: PM vows to work on his lying
Written By: - Date published: 11:58 am, April 12th, 2013 - 2 comments
John Key is promising to work on his lying, after a series of scandals rocked his government. “These blunders threaten to do real damage to his reputation”, said one insider. “The credibility he established as a result of four years of careful and considered lying is now under threat”.
Plus a poem from Seaweed.
ImperatorFish: A statement from the Prime Minister
Written By: - Date published: 11:55 am, April 11th, 2013 - 2 comments
The Government Security (Doing As They Please) Bill will be introduced next week, and this important piece of legislation will make it clear that our security and law enforcement agencies must operate within the framework of doing anything they want.
ImperatorFish: Arrest of The Environment ends campaign of terror against businesses
Written By: - Date published: 11:57 am, April 4th, 2013 - 9 comments
ImperatorFish: DOC sheds 140 jobs, but new owner remains committed
Written By: - Date published: 12:50 pm, March 27th, 2013 - 9 comments
DOC’s new owners, Warner Bros, are reportedly concerned that too much emphasis has been placed on preserving uninteresting animals, like native parrots and snails. The restructure will see a renewed focus on wolf-breeding, resurrecting Haast’s Eagles and fire-breathing dragons.
ImperatorFish: David Shearer suspends rule-breaking Labour MP
Written By: - Date published: 8:02 am, March 19th, 2013 - 114 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
ImperatorFish: Bennett announces drought relief get-tough measures
Written By: - Date published: 12:56 pm, March 7th, 2013 - 9 comments
Will farmers be required to take mandatory drug tests, show evidence of looking for alternate sources of income and have their drought relief money docked if they fail to answer phone calls from Work and Income?
ImperatorFish: Poor, sick, and unemployed looking forward to MRP share offer
Written By: - Date published: 11:42 am, March 6th, 2013 - 19 comments
John Armstrong may think that “the question now – as far as most people are concerned – is whether Mighty River Power shares will be a good investment,” but Scott’s been out there to find out what ‘most’ people really think…
Brilliant policy
Written By: - Date published: 1:27 pm, March 2nd, 2013 - 47 comments
I’ve got to stay that I stand in awe of this latest tax policy suggestion from the IRD. Simple, fair, easy to implement, it will be wildly popular. I think the Nats should adopt it at once.
John Key: High dollar works for me
Written By: - Date published: 10:43 am, February 28th, 2013 - 24 comments
As a Canadian currency dealer dubs the NZ$ the “new gold”, John Key sings the praises of a high dollar
Leaked: draft blueprint for future recruitment to ACC sensitive claims unit
Written By: - Date published: 7:00 pm, February 20th, 2013 - 10 comments
An accidentally-mis-addressed email from ACC’s HR department reveals much-needed changes are going to be made to their sensitive claims unit.
Imperatorfish: The post I never posted
Written By: - Date published: 12:01 pm, January 9th, 2013 - 26 comments
… And even if I was wrong on that point, I went on to write, David Shearer was still not the best man for the job, because he had failed to demonstrate an ability to walk on water or bring the dead back to life. But I didn’t push the “publish” button, because I came up with an even better idea for a post…
It’s the market, baby
Written By: - Date published: 7:35 am, January 9th, 2013 - 319 comments
I went to the supermarket and said “I want your best meat for $9 a kg”. They said I could have pre-cooked sausages or the cheapest mince for that. But I wanted good meat! So I went to other supermarkets and butchers. Some wouldn’t sell me anything for that much, none would supply the quality I wanted. They say I’m mad. But, when this business does it, they’re the victims.
The enemy is still not your friend
Written By: - Date published: 10:37 am, December 8th, 2012 - 95 comments
It’s pretty clear: the Greens have managed to hold on to the massive gain they made during the last election campaign, largely at Labour’s expense as it imploded. Labour’s back to its pre-campaign level, at National’s expense. Lab+Green=Nat or thereabouts but the Left needs a good 5% more from the Right to feel confident. So, this is not the time to be listening to John Armstrong’s advice.
An apology to David Cunliffe
Written By: - Date published: 6:00 pm, November 19th, 2012 - 121 comments
I’m sorry, David Cunliffe, for the part I have played in your downfall. Wait a minute, what?
Queen of Thorns makes a move for Labour leadership
Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, November 18th, 2012 - 15 comments
The truth is out. Under Patrick Gower’s incredibly cunning questioning, I have confessed that I will challenge Shearer in February.
Pagani to lead Labour to victory!
Written By: - Date published: 1:20 pm, November 14th, 2012 - 20 comments
In a bold and exciting move Labour MP David Shearer stood down at today’s Labour conference and handed the reins to mild mannered media commentator Josie Pagani. Shearer said it became clear he had too much parliamentary experience for the role and the public was calling for someone ‘less like a politician’ than he was.
ImperatorFish: A Statement From Hekia Parata
Written By: - Date published: 1:01 pm, November 14th, 2012 - 4 comments
A statement from Education Minister Hekia Parata to concerned parents, teachers and children in the Christchurch area.
ImperatorFish: In Praise Of John Key
Written By: - Date published: 9:49 pm, November 12th, 2012 - 8 comments
I am filled with admiration for our Prime Minister. The latest employment figures are a disaster, and appear to show that this government does not know how to grow the economy. But our Mr Key is made of sterner stuff. He knows in his heart that these figures aren’t to be relied upon, because everything else tells him that things are getting better.
Make your own “Shearer Says”!
Written By: - Date published: 6:00 pm, November 3rd, 2012 - 49 comments
Every week or so another gripping read is emailed out from the Labour leader’s office. Find out how you too can inspire a nation!
Shane Jones: now pimping for Sealords
Written By: - Date published: 11:34 am, October 3rd, 2012 - 26 comments
As Shane Jones makes a complete dick of himself in public yet again in a traditional display of Labour party backbench egotism. I’m left shaking my head at the apparent complete inability of the Labour caucus to settle down to the task of being an effective opposition.
ImperatorFish: Next Week’s Q&A
Written By: - Date published: 11:05 am, September 19th, 2012 - 7 comments
Shane: …he revealed a meat cleaver from beneath his suit jacket and charged into the front row of the audience yelling “die, you meddlesome crones!” Had he not tripped and fallen over there could have been a bloodbath. Isn’t that a serious incident?
John: That may be the view of some people. But I’ve sought an assurance from Gerry, and he has told me he did nothing wrong. If a minister tells me, “This is my position, and this is what I’ve done,” I accept their word in good faith, unless it’s proven otherwise.
Crackdown on Working for Families children
Written By: - Date published: 10:49 am, September 12th, 2012 - 13 comments
Families will lose half their Working for Families payments if they don’t put their kids in ECE or make sure they have the Well Child checks, under reforms to be announced by Paula Bennett the next time National needs a distraction from its failed economic management. ‘When you’re getting public money, the government can demand anything of you: even if it isn’t compulsory and even if you can’t afford it,’ said Bennett.
ImperatorFish: Bennett Announces Welfare Crackdown
Written By: - Date published: 12:57 pm, September 6th, 2012 - 17 comments
People of Swedish descent who engage in acts of treason while dressed as nuns will no longer be eligible to receive welfare, Social Development Minister Paula Bennett announced today.
Imperator Fish Exclusive: Leaked Government Poverty Plan
Written By: - Date published: 1:57 pm, August 30th, 2012 - 20 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has managed to get his hands on a top-secret document that sets out in detail National’s plan to tackle the child poverty issue.
Alcohol to be banned
Written By: - Date published: 1:40 pm, July 15th, 2012 - 15 comments
The Government announced that it was withdrawing its Alcohol Reform Bill today and introducing prohibition after it realised that alcohol was used by the ‘Beast of Blenheim’ to stupefy young girls. “It’s what we’d do if it was any other drug, particularly as it’s associated with the ‘Beast of Blenheim’,” said Justice Minister Judith Collins.
Key’s press release on exodus to Australia
Written By: - Date published: 10:25 am, July 8th, 2012 - 29 comments
With news that there are now more Kiwis living in Australia than either Christchurch or Wellington, here’s “John Key’s” latest press release on the topic.
Frogblog: Greens call for inquiry into inquiries
Written By: - Date published: 12:07 pm, July 6th, 2012 - 12 comments
A very funny response from the Greens to Key’s complaint that they’re always asking for inquiries: “The Greens have been criticised by Prime Minister John Key, who said, ‘The Greens call for an inquiry on virtually anything.’ The remark prompted immediate calls from the Green Party for an inquiry, which would focus on why the Greens call for so many inquiries.”
ImperatorFish: Treasury Report On Sunlight Levels
Written By: - Date published: 1:48 pm, June 11th, 2012 - 9 comments
New Zealand has been enjoying a long period of uninterrupted sunlight, and this looks likely to continue until at least 2014. The abundance of light can be attributed to prudent and sensible economic management by government, and the implementation of sound fiscal and monetary policies.
ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine
Written By: - Date published: 6:54 pm, May 22nd, 2012 - Comments Off on ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
You’ve probably heard a lot about the National government’s austerity measures, and I know you’re probably worrying whether this belt-tightening is really worth it.
- Donald Trump may fancy himself a skilled dealmaker, but Middle East peace might be beyond him
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amin Saikal, Emeritus Professor of Middle Eastern and Central Asian Studies, Australian National University Donald Trump’s re-election as the US president last week comes at a time of extreme volatility in the Middle East. The president-elect has promised to end all wars. ...4 days ago - Hīkoi to spend night in Huntly before continuing in morning
The hīkoi will rest in Huntly on Wednesday before moving onto Rotorua and eventually Wellington. ...4 days ago - Senior lawyers call for Treaty Principles Bill to be abandoned
Members of the King's Counsel say the coalition's Treaty Principles Bill "seeks to rewrite the Treaty itself" and would have the "opposite effect of its stated purpose". ...4 days ago
- The crypto community sees a powerful new friend in Donald Trump. Here’s why
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nafis Alam, Professor and Head, School of Business, Monash University Malaysia Karolina Grabowska/Pexels It can be hard to make sense of the price of bitcoin, which has swung wildly throughout its history. But in the aftermath of Donald Trump’s presidential victory ...4 days ago
- New public-private partnerships framework has Labour’s backing
A new public-private partnerships framework has been released by the government, with backing from the opposition. ...4 days ago
- Abuse in state care inquiry and apology: NZSL interpreted videos
The neglect, violence and racism towards children and teenagers at Kelston School for the Deaf and Van Asch College is catalogued in the report into abuse in care. ...4 days ago
- Use of ‘extraordinary’ powers in Defence decision ‘unusual’ – Labour
Defence Minister Judith Collins has formally told Parliament she is allowing uniformed personnel to fill in for striking civilian staff. ...4 days ago
- Watch: Hīkoi of thousands crosses Auckland Harbour Bridge, which sways under their feet
The Auckland Harbour Bridge rocked and swayed as thousands crossed over, in a hīkoi protesting the Treaty Principles Bill. ...4 days ago
- A hīkoi dispatch from Ōtautahi
A thousand-strong crowd gathered in Ōtautahi today to show support for the Toitū te Tiriti hīkoi. Alex Casey was there. One of the most charming aspects of attending demonstrations in Ōtautahi’s city centre is that they happen right in the orbit of our many tourist trams, periodically forcing the crowd ...4 days ago - How should Australian media cover the next federal election? Lessons from the US presidential race
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Denis Muller, Senior Research Fellow, Centre for Advancing Journalism, The University of Melbourne Media coverage in Australia of the US presidential election and of the Voice referendum in October 2023 offer some pointers to what we might expect during next year’s federal ...4 days ago
- Our research reveals women suppress their femininity to fit into military culture – and struggle t...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Carolyn Heward, Lecturer, Clinical Psychology, James Cook University Imagine spending years hiding who you are to fit into a group, only to become invisible once you leave. This is the reality for many women who serve in the military. Our research ...4 days ago
- Labour claims ‘cover-up’ as weekly reporting on benefit numbers cancelled
Minister Louise Upston has directed her officials to stop publishing weekly updates on benefit numbers as the number of people on welfare reaches record levels. ...4 days ago
- Live: Hīkoi of thousands arrives at Auckland’s Ihumātao
The hīkoi protesting the Treaty Principles Bill made its way from Auckland's North Shore to Ihumātao on Wednesday. ...4 days ago
- Former US ambassador accuses Sky News of creating a ‘self-licking ice cream’ to attack Kevin Rud...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra The furore over Australia’s ambassador to Washington, Kevin Rudd, is a “self-licking icecream” created by some at Sky News, former defence chief and former ambassador to the United States, Dennis Richardson says. Richardson told ...5 days ago
- Dennis Richardson accuses Sky News of creating a ‘self-licking ice cream’ to attack Kevin Rudd
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra The furore over Australia’s ambassador to Washington, Kevin Rudd, is a “self-licking icecream” created by some at Sky News, former defence chief and former ambassador to the United States, Dennis Richardson says. Richardson told ...5 days ago
- Want to slash social housing waitlists? We should allow tenants to swap homes
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrea Sharam, Senior Lecturer, School of Property, Construction and Project Management, RMIT University Shutterstock There are 184,100 people on social housing waiting lists around the country, reflecting the impact of declining homeownership and escalating private rents. However, building new social ...5 days ago
- The Treaty Principles Bill is already straining social cohesion – a referendum could be worse
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexander Gillespie, Professor of Law, University of Waikato Getty Images With the protest hikoi from the far north moving through Auckland on its way to Wellington, it might be said ACT leader David Seymour has been granted his wish of generating ...5 days ago
- Live: Day three and the hīkoi makes its way to Ihumātao, where hundreds of supporters wait
Crowds are swelling in Ōkahu Bay and Takaparawhau (Bastion Point) as well as in Christchurch for the South Island hīkoi. ...5 days ago
- Government will not say if gang members to be excluded from abuse in care compensation
The government is refusing to say whether gang members could be excluded from compensation for abuse they suffered while in state care. ...5 days ago
- Fair news bargaining bill in limbo as minister says it is not ready
The government has pushed out the second reading of the Fair News Digital Bargaining Bill, because the minister responsible says it is not ready. ...5 days ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Marcus Carter, Professor in Human-Computer Interaction, ARC Future Fellow, University of Sydney The Australian government has announced a plan to ban children under the age of 16 from social media. With bipartisan support, it’s likely to be passed by the end of ...5 days ago
- Online games should not be included in Australia’s social media ban – they are critical for kids...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Marcus Carter, Professor in Human-Computer Interaction, ARC Future Fellow, University of Sydney The Australian government has announced a plan to ban children under the age of 16 from social media. With bipartisan support, it’s likely to be passed by the end of ...5 days ago
- Submissions Open For The Employment Relations (Employee Remuneration Disclosure) Amendment Bill
The bill seeks to amend the Employment Relations Act 2000 to protect employees who discuss or disclose their remuneration. ...5 days ago - Corpse flowers and flesh flies: why so many plants and fungi stink like death warmed up
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gregory Moore, Senior Research Associate, School of Agriculture, Food and Ecosystem Sciences, The University of Melbourne Bpk Maizal/Shutterstock Right now, people are lining up at the Geelong Botanic Gardens to see and smell the giant corpse flower, a rare plant that ...5 days ago
- Abuse survivors sceptical about funding boost for current redress system
They don't believe the extra $32m will be enough to help them. ...5 days ago
- Hobson’s Pledge Support Peaceful Protest But Encourage Listening
It is concerning that some participants of the hīkoi seem to believe only their voice and actions are to be respected, and are intent on shutting down any debate. ...5 days ago
- Airports and travel hubs can be overwhelming for Autistic people. Here’s what could help
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Chris Edwards, Adjunct Research Fellow, Inclusive Futures, Griffith University Jokue-Photography/Shutterstock As another Australian summer approaches, many people are planning their holidays, looking forward to the joy travel brings. Yet for Australia’s 5.5 million people with a disability, what should be an ...5 days ago
- Airlines cancel flights after volcanic eruptions. An aviation expert explains why that’s a good th...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Patrick Murray, Emeritus Professor of Aviation, University of Southern Queensland At least three airlines cancelled flights between Australia and Bali this week after a volcano eruption in eastern Indonesia spewed a vast plume of volcanic ash into the air. But while would-be ...5 days ago
- The Greens want to cancel all student debt – but this will not make uni education ‘free’
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Bruce Chapman, Emeritus Professor, College of Business and Economics, Australian National University The Australian Greens have long argued tertiary students shouldn’t pay tuition charges. This means they want to see HECS – now called HELP – abolished. But following the Albanese government’s ...5 days ago
- ‘I have seen how the arts has changed people’: remembering Roz Hervey and her contribution to Au...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Russell Fewster, Lecturer in Performing Arts, University of South Australia Sam Oster/Restless Dance Theatre Much loved and respected Adelaide-based dancer, choreographer, director and producer Roz Hervey passed away last week. Her passing followed the diagnosis of motor neurone disease (MND) in ...5 days ago
- ‘Effortless-seeming genius’: Carl Shuker’s favourite reads and other stories
Welcome to The Spinoff Books Confessional, in which we get to know the reading habits of Aotearoa writers, and guests. This week: Carl Shuker, author of new novel The Royal Free. The book I wish I’d written I wish I’d written Philip Hensher’s Kitchen Venom. No one talks about it ...5 days ago
- Gone By Lunchtime: Our decision desk is now ready to call the US election
The new old president, the hīkoi hits Auckland, and a momentous day of apology at parliament. After more than a week scrutinising the granular data, the Gone By Lunchtime podcast decision desk is ready to make a call: Donald Trump has won the US presidency. In a new episode, ...5 days ago
- Global carbon emissions inch upwards in 2024 despite progress on EVs, renewables and deforestation
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Pep Canadell, Chief Research Scientist, CSIRO Environment; Executive Director, Global Carbon Project, CSIRO Susan Santa Maria, Shutterstock Carbon dioxide (CO₂) emissions from fossil fuels continue to increase, year on year. This sobering reality will be presented to world leaders today at ...5 days ago
- Hīkoi day three: Thousands of protesters walk across Auckland Harbour Bridge
RNZ News Thousands of supporters of Aotearoa New Zealand’s hīkoi mō te Tiriti — a march traversing the length of Aotearoa in protest against the Treaty Principles Bill and government policies impacting on Māori — have crossed the Auckland Harbour Bridge. RNZ reporters with the march said it was swaying ...5 days ago
- Watch: Govt announces wrap-around services for people in emergency housing long term
The trial will be for single people and couples without children who aren't already getting housing help and have been in emergency housing for more a year. ...5 days ago
- Govt announces wrap-around services for people in emergency housing long term
The new trial will be for single people and couples without children who aren't already getting housing help and have been in emergency housing more than 12 months. ...5 days ago
- Abuse apology: Talk is cheap, it’s time for action
Analysis - Survivors felt Tuesday's apology was "hollow words" but some hope they're wrong. ...5 days ago
- Small Business Owners, MPs Rally Together To Demand Transparency In Tauranga Marine Precinct Sale
“This sale, and the lack of information surrounding it, shows exactly why we need better regulations to hold council staff and it’s leadership more accountable,” Harvey said.” ...5 days ago
- The Lord of the Rings musical is better than you’re probably expecting
Musical theatre sceptics Gabi Lardies and Stewart Sowman-Lund review the three-hour spectacle at Auckland’s Civic Theatre. Gabi Lardies: Stewart, we sat through THREE HOURS of musical theatre last night. That’s a big ask for an audience trained on 12-second reels. Tickets are between $69 and $179 – we were both ...5 days ago
- Police officers ready to enforce gang patch ban
The meetings were to communicate what's expected when the law comes into effect. ...5 days ago
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