Satire
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Tai Poutini finds new funding stream
Written By: - Date published: 5:10 pm, July 7th, 2011 - 4 comments
Te Tai Poutini Polytechnic is receiving an additional $750 million funding from Minister Steven Joyce after changing its name to the South Western Motorway.
Godwin the EQC
Written By: - Date published: 4:43 pm, June 24th, 2011 - 12 comments
Sometimes you have to simply start from 1.0 for Godwin’s Law. This pretty much applies to anything re-subtitled from the movie “Der Untergang”. The latest one that I have seen is this side splitting rendition of exactly what has been going on inside the EQC operation in Christchurch.
Who is David Henderson?
Written By: - Date published: 10:51 am, June 15th, 2011 - 63 comments
Randian superhero David Henderson has withdrawn his genius from New Zealand in protest at the collectivist government that has persecuted him and attempted to distribute the fruits of his talent to parasites. In a short statement after leaving the country, Henderson said other Atlases would join him in strike and “stop the motor of New Zealand”.
Dimpost: reality TV concept
Written By: - Date published: 9:59 am, June 11th, 2011 - 12 comments
More incisive hilarity from Danyl: “It works like this: Paul Holmes gets to live in a state house for a year with a one year old baby, surviving on only the $288 dollars/week allocated to beneficiaries on the DPB, and at the end of the year Paul gets to decide whether he chooses to ‘breed for cash’….”
Quick friday funnies
Written By: - Date published: 4:16 pm, June 10th, 2011 - 3 comments
A few overlooked videos from plumedekiwi. The short and potty history of the pavlova going to its awful conclusion and a similar look at the Wellywood sign.
On supporting the Rugby World Cup
Written By: - Date published: 1:16 pm, June 2nd, 2011 - 113 comments
In my sleep deprived state I have to confess that I don’t like rugby supporters, especially drunken ones who argue about teams at 2am in the morning on the street. I suspect that will be the enduring memory I will carry away from this years Rugby World Cup. But I do like Dead Cat Bounce’s video about rugby.
On the crotch-clutcher Bob Clarkson
Written By: - Date published: 4:26 pm, June 1st, 2011 - 33 comments
Bob Clarkson is back into public politics. This time generously helping the Act Party. Long may this continue!
Wellington airport to donate $200K to city’s poor
Written By: - Date published: 11:24 am, May 22nd, 2011 - 17 comments
No. Really, they’re wasting it on corporate tagging of no value to anyone whatsoever. You can make your own parody sign, like the one below here and join the 7K strong Facebook group.
A nursery rhyme
Written By: - Date published: 8:56 am, May 1st, 2011 - 14 comments
Pussy Key, pussy Key, where have you been?
I’ve been down to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy Key, pussy Key, what did you there?
Sweet fuck all, but thanks for paying for my holiday
We are not amused
Written By: - Date published: 1:42 pm, April 29th, 2011 - 14 comments
The Royal family have banned humorous comment on the royal wedding. Clarence House has banned a satirical sketch from ABC’s programme “The Chaser”. Reminds one of Victoria’s classic oft-quoted line – “We are not amused”. Charles has got a lot more pompous since his days at University when he was known as a bit of […]
Blanket Man to make bid for ACT leadership
Written By: - Date published: 7:09 am, April 28th, 2011 - 15 comments
Ben ‘Blanket Man’ Hana has thrown his loin cloth into the contest for ACT’s leadership. Despite not having any political experience, Blanket Man says he is the man for the job due to his firm commitment to laissez-faire economics, his excellent face recognition, and the virtue that he is not a tired, old, has-been, racist arsehole.
Dim-Post: Electoral Commission to offer suicide voting booths
Written By: - Date published: 9:00 am, April 17th, 2011 - 4 comments
The Electoral Commission will give New Zealanders voting in the November General Election the option to take their own lives rather than live in a country run by any of the possible governing coalitions, the chair of the Commission Sir Hugh Williams announced today.
Without ambition…
Written By: - Date published: 8:04 am, April 13th, 2011 - 3 comments
A classic cover with updated lyrics of the 1980’s classic. Now we have “We have no ambition for New Zealand”. Give a big hand to the artists and start asking the radio stations and TV channels when they will be playing it.
Now we know what John Key was so depressed about in this image?
Brownlee promises inflatable, plastic Christchurch
Written By: - Date published: 12:19 am, April 7th, 2011 - 20 comments
Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee has unveiled plans for a giant inflatable plastic CBD and inflatable plastic suburbs to replace buildings damaged in the Christchurch earthquake. The inflatable CBD will include a number of office buildings and a bouncy castle. To save costs, the government has rejected making the buildings here and will buy them from China.
Key pledges: a photo-op a week for Chch
Written By: - Date published: 12:05 am, March 14th, 2011 - 83 comments
Stung by Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee’s admission that the eastern suburbs were neglected after the Christchurch Earthquake, John Key is redoubling his efforts: “For the first few days, I stuck my head down and got on with designing the emergency benefit policy but, winter’s approaching, so the people need me to return to my strengths.”
Truly Stranded
Written By: - Date published: 11:30 am, March 4th, 2011 - 21 comments
One of the names that the self-inflated blogs who consider themselves to be the “taste police” give us is the unimaginative juvenile name of The Stranded. Typically this is when they are writing a silly post trying to tell us why we should think like them (I guess everyone is entitled to a unrealistic dream). Anyway I thought I’d give them some real bad taste to moan about in a Friday Fun post (warning – written in the Cactus Kate style).
Nats impose media ban on selves
Written By: - Date published: 9:15 am, February 18th, 2011 - 11 comments
In a surprise move, John Key has announced the National Party is imposing a media ban on itself until the BMW limo affair dies down. “We got the idea from the Maori Party. Every time they open their mouths over Hone Harawira, things get worse. Shut their mouths and the issue goes away. Brilliant. There’s so much we can learn from our Maori friends”
Minister vs Minister – deathmatch
Written By: - Date published: 2:37 pm, February 17th, 2011 - 18 comments
Rodney Hide has accepted Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples’ challenge to a street race to settle the Supercity Maori Advisory Board dispute. Standing beside his customised Crown limo, the Kupapa II, Sharples said “we called on Rodney to resign as he promised but he won’t. So we’re taking this battle to the streets”.
Tackling the big issues
Written By: - Date published: 9:53 am, February 12th, 2011 - 60 comments
Key: So, Gillard’s coming. Are we talking about a single economic zone?
Groser: Umm. No. Mobile roaming charges.
Key: Christ, Tim. We’re really racking up wins for Kiwi exporters here, aren’t we?
Captain Panicpants: Your numbers with women are down over Hurley. They say you sounded disloyal and they empathise with Bronagh.
Key: Shit now that’s serious. Call the missus. We’ll do something cutsie and distracting.
Guest post: Beware Food Police!
Written By: - Date published: 1:30 pm, December 10th, 2010 - 51 comments
To arms! To arms! The Food Police are coming! Remember how I led you in the battle to get junk food back into schools? It was a near-run thing. If we hadn’t acted, the days of the 12 year-old who can’t climb a flight of stairs without wheezing and going red in the face might have been numbered. Now, National has hypocritically betrayed us.
SAS inspires money-making scheme
Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, November 9th, 2010 - 23 comments
I’m a nurse at a public hospital. Our social fund is looking a bit thin this year so we thought would invite school groups to come along to the hospital, charge $25 a head, and let them play around with the equipment like X-ray machines and bandages to get a sense of how we work as a team. I’m sure Mr Key will say it’s a “good idea“.
Cthulhu’s hold on Espom threatened
Written By: - Date published: 3:15 pm, October 15th, 2010 - 29 comments
This might just be Danyl’s best satire piece ever:
National to stand Spider God in Epsom
‘All hail the Spider God,’ said a press release issued by the National Party. ‘The new National candidate for Epsom in 2011.’
More ACT identity theft?
Written By: - Date published: 3:30 pm, October 13th, 2010 - 20 comments
In recent days, David Garrett has been spotted hanging around Parliament. Now, The Standard has acquired a picture of ACT’s new MP, ‘Hilary Calvert’, arriving at Parliament. It raises further identity theft questions within the party.
Evidence suggests that the real Calvert was brain-dead at least two weeks ago.
New ‘no darkies’ party to form
Written By: - Date published: 12:40 pm, October 10th, 2010 - 45 comments
Paul ‘dickshit’ Henry, Maurice ‘no shi’ite’ Williamson, John ‘I wish South Aucklanders hadn’t voted’ Banks, Melissa ‘South Aucklanders are all crims’ Lee, Paul ‘cheekie darkie’ Holmes, and Michael ‘brown slug’ Laws have joined forces to create a new political party for ‘real New Zealanders’ standing up to ‘the Brown-skinned elite’.
Paul Henry’s jokes about women, deaf people and infant deaths, proudly brought to you by TVNZ
Written By: - Date published: 7:15 am, October 9th, 2010 - 59 comments
Here’s a compilation from TV7’s Russell Brown from April this year, highlighting the value for money taxpayers get from paying Breakfast Bigot Paul Henry $300,000+ per year: ridiculing the appearance of guests whose opinions he disagrees with, ridiculing deaf people, women, and the disproportionate rate of infant deaths in developing countries – “but they’ve got […]
Friday funny: Paul Henry
Written By: - Date published: 11:55 am, October 8th, 2010 - 3 comments
Due to widespread demand (ie BLiP), I’m going to try to find a Friday funny each week. This particular video is a pretty good spoof on Paul Henry. The only problem is that for comedic effect you’d normally need to go further than the origional. However going further than Henry requires more international incidents. TVNZ needs to fire him.
NZ’s biggest welfare beneficiary revealed in shock horror Herald exclusive expose’
Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, September 2nd, 2010 - 22 comments
To find out who it is, click here.
Will this individual’s personal file be read out in Parliament by Paula Bennett?
Will this beneficiary’s sex life be investigated by WINZ as grounds for disqualification?
Key: Obama’s my pen pal
Written By: - Date published: 12:33 pm, September 1st, 2010 - 14 comments
Key says his personal relationship with Obama (met the guy twice) means he can call him. Don’t think it’s your winning grin mate. Think it’s because you’re PM of New Zealand. Anyway, this ain’t a game of collecting phone numbers, John. You’ve got to deliver something concrete. How’s that free trade deal coming?
Kiwi jester to play for Queen
Written By: - Date published: 9:15 pm, August 30th, 2010 - 15 comments
Self-styled ‘Jokemeister-in-chief’ John Key has been selected from a host of eager clowns, buffoons, and slapstick artists (known as the National Party) to perform for Queen Elizabeth the Second for a weekend next month. Asked if he has any nerves ahead of the big show, Key whipped out his old catchphrase saying “nah, I’m pretty relaxed”.
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 13 December appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 days ago
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- Daily crossword, Friday 13 December
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